the end line.

please stay now

The words appear on Hyukjae’s skin when he turns seven. It’s black, sleek ink on the pale skin of his inner arm, a sort of hasty scribble that is barely visible if he doesn’t pay attention. The letters are all squished together, and he has a hard time reading them. Hyukjae stares at it for long hours in the quietness of his bedroom, fascinated and wondering, until his mother finds him a few hours afterwards.

She hugs him when Hyukjae asks about it. She kisses his forehead, hugs him a bit tighter, and says the word soulmate.

See you tonight, the words read.

Hyukjae hugs her back.

*

Hyukjae’s seven and a bit, and he shows off his words to his friends with all the pride that he carries. He sees the teachers watching him with unreadable eyes, like they know something that he doesn’t, and at first, he thinks it’s fondness.

It takes him years until Hyukjae really understands.

*

Hyukjae’s barely nine when Kyuhyun peers at his words, curious, and then shows off his own.

Promise me you won’t forget me—that you will move on, his words read. It’s such a striking contrast with Hyukjae’s simple ‘see you tonight’.

“Everybody always says ‘see you tonight’ though, right?” Kyuhyun wonders then. “How will you know if they’re the one? How do you even know they’re gonna say ‘see you tonight’ to you?”

Hyukjae opens his mouth. Closes it. Looks down at his shoes.

I don’t know, Hyukjae wants to say, and then suddenly, he understands that it was pity all along.

*

See you tonight, Hyukjae reads the words again. He’s frowning this time. Because he’s fourteen now, and he knows better.

See you tonight. Gone is the sweet, amazed innocence that had driven Hyukjae all those years ago. He’s forgotten about the thrill and the happiness of finding the words on his skin. Now, all he can feel as he stares at them is worry and sadness and frustration. Are those words a gift, Hyukjae wonders, or a curse?

The words are the very last words that one’s soulmate says. They are the final words that their other half utters right before they die.

Some people find their soulmate only when they’ve already left them. Some will never find out at all. Maybe it’s life’s idea of a joke.

And isn’t it a bit sad, really, that Hyukjae’s words are something so common as a simple ‘see you tonight’?

He’s only fourteen this year, and he’s already heard that sentence much more than he cares to remember. Another small part of him seems to die every time someone tells him, see you tonight. And every time he wants to scream, no, don’t!

Isn’t it such a sick twist of fate that the very last words that his soulmate will ever say are going to be a lie? Isn’t it even more horrible to realize that it might not even be to Hyukjae?

See you tonight, the words read. But really, they mean, see you no more.

*

“See you tonight,” his very first girlfriend tells him, blushing and all smiles, and Hyukjae freaks out so much that he breaks up with her before they even get to go on their second date.

“See you tonight!” his second girlfriend pipes up happily. He squeaks pathetically, and his heart clenches so hard in his chest that he chokes. And then he’s crying, and crying, and crying.

His third lover mutters see you tonight as they leave for work. For a moment, Hyukjae wonders, until he remembers that their own words are in a language that he doesn’t even know the name of. He still shudders, except he doesn’t know if it’s still out of fear or something else.

“See you tonight,” his boyfriend says with his lips against Hyukjae’s, and Hyukjae grips on his boyfriend’s hand so hard that it almost leaves bruises.

His fifth relationship is with a woman, all curves and a beautiful smile, and she never says see you tonight. Only short and distracted byes. Hyukjae tells himself that he’s not too disappointed, until he realizes that he is.

And that romance, like all the others, doesn’t last very long.

*

Hyukjae’s almost thirty. And he’s scared. Oh, so scared.

*

Hyukjae isn’t thirty-three yet, and Donghae rushes into his life like a wild wave.

“Oh, hey, hi,” Donghae babbles as he knocks into Hyukjae. Sheets of paper flutter around them, falling listlessly at their feet. An embarrassed flush starts to spread around Donghae’s cheeks. “Oh, sorry, I, it’s okay, I’ll take care of it, it’s. It’s okay.”

It’s a rush of words that overwhelm Hyukjae as much as they mesmerize him. , Hyukjae thinks, but it’s already too late.

*

“Well, it was all part of my master plan to get to know you,” Donghae says seriously on their second date, and he’s all mischievous grins and happy laughs.

“Now, that’s just silly, Hyukjae,” Donghae tries not to blush on the day of their first kiss, his thin lips stretched into an ever-lasting smile that makes Hyukjae’s heart skips several beats.

Donghae’s big brown eyes are peering around Hyukjae’s apartment in childish curiosity, before he flops down on the right side of the bed. He declares, “so this is my side from now on.”

In the morning, Donghae is excitement wrapped in a careful layer of languidness, mumbling all sorts of five more minutes and where is my coffee? and cartoon, cartoon, cartoon! And then at night, Donghae becomes sensual heat begging for soft kisses and cuddles; sweet innocence tampered with whispers of something secret and delicious. 

Donghae says, don’t let go of my hand, and Hyukjae says, why would I?

Because Donghae’s everything that Hyukjae had ever wanted.

*

Donghae kisses him with the passion of a dying man, and mumbles sadly, “See you tonight.”

And for once, Hyukjae doesn’t only think, no, no, no, no. He wishes, please let him say the truth, and it’s barely audible over the ‘no, not him, not Donghae, not him, please not Donghae’.

*

Hyukjae’s thirty-three and a bit, and he’s still so scared.

But he’s also in love.

*

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