Final

1
February 1, 2019

“Hey guys! Meet my newest girl, Mina.”

Oh. It was my older cousin Momo. She has a new girlfriend? Again? I think she had introduced someone last month to us.

Well, that's Momo unnie. New month, new girl.

“Please be nice to her.” Momo unnie said while her girl smiled.

“Hello everyone! It's very nice to meet you all,” that Mina girl said. Everyone greeted her back.

Momo unnie, together with her girlfriend, walked towards my spot.

“Meet Chaeyoung. She's my closest cousin. I hope you two would be able to get along.” Momo unnie said.

Oh.

Wow.

I-I didn’t know she would be this pretty.

“Uhm. Hey. I’m Mina. It is a pleasure to meet you,” Mina said.

Oh gosh.

“Uhm. Hey. Uh. Hello. I'm uh Chaeyoung. It's uhm very nice to meet you too.”

What the hell was that? Did I just-? Oh well.

“She's two years older than you, Chaeng. So please respect her.” Momo unnie said half jokingly.

“When did I never?” I replied, “I mean uhmm when did I never respect someone older than me?”

Why would I disrespect someone who looks as gorgeous as this girl? Momo unnie had surely hit the jackpot. This girl is so fine and so lovely.

“Oh you should be asking, ‘when did I ever?’ because I think you have always disregarded the fact that I am 4 years older than you.” Nayeon unnie interrupted us. She's my sister-in-law, well, she is Jungyeon unnie's wife. We’re close that’s why I sometimes forget that she’s older.

“Nayeon unnie!” I exclaimed.

“Welcome to the family, Mina.” Nayeon unnie ignored me. How does she expect me to respect her if she acts like my age? But, she surely looks my age.

“Thank you!” Mina unnie(?) said.

Jungyeon unnie called Nayeon unnie from somewhere leaving just the three of us.

“Minari, do you want to have something?” Momo unnie asked Mina unnie.

“Lemonade will be fine, Momoring.” Mina unnie replied. Momo unnie, then, left the both of us saying, “Talk to Chaeyoung. She'is a fun kid.”

Kid? Me? How dare she? I'm 20. I’m not a kid.

Wait what?

I’m alone together with this so-called girlfriend of Momo unnie. Don’t panic, Chaeng. DON’T.

“Uhm Hi.”

“Hello. Uhm Mina unnie right? How are you enjoying today’s event?”

“Well, I'm happy that I get to meet my Momo's family. Everyone has been good to me and it made me a little less nervous.”

"Nervous? Why are you nervous? No one will bite you here.”

“I don’t know? But I think it’s normal for me to be nervous because uhm who doesn’t?”

“You're lovely. Everyone is happy with you. Especially the birthday girl, Jihyo unnie. Don't be so nervous."

“I'll try.”

****

15
February 15, 2019

What a boring day!

I’ve got nothing to do today. So here I am, shopping with all my might.

Oh, new shoes?

Was that a blue bag? Looks good!

Wow! Cute shirt. It will surely look good with my skirts that I bought last week.

Aigoo! I think I need to buy a new phone. I broke my latest phone.

Was that-

Was that Mina unnie?

What is she doing here?

“Mina unnie!” I called to her.

“Oh hey Chaeyoung! What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Nothing. Just shopping. I had nothing to do. You?”

“Me? I was trying to look for a gift for Momo. It would be our first monthsary on the 17th.”

“Really? Do you want me to help?”

“You would? Sure, Chaeyoung. Thanks.”

****

March 8, 2019

"Chaeng." someone called me.

"Oh. Hello Momo unnie." it was Momo unnie. What was she doing here in my uni?

"I just wanted to talk to you." Oh my gosh. Did something happen? But she does not look sad.

"What is it?" I asked her as we walk towards a bench.

"I think I'm in love." she said.

"Of course you should be. You have a girlfriend."

"Yeah, I know. Mina is the only girl I have fallen for since forever. You know me. You know I don't do serious relationships. But. But Mina, she is different. I'm going to do my best just to keep her. I think she's the one." Momo unnie said.

"I'm so happy for you, unnie." I said. But why does it feel so wrong to say those words? I should really be happy that unnie has found someone to be with forever. Well, maybe I'm just tired.

"I know you will be. You're the one who has always asked me to find my true love." Momo unnie replied.

****

March 24, 2019

"Happy Birthday, Mina unnie. I brought this gift for you."

Today was Mina unnie's birthday and I have gave her a gift. It was a computer game that I found in the mall. I don't know what it was about but the cashier told me it was good.

"Oh my gosh, Chaeyoung! You shouldn't have. I was supposed to buy this tomorrow as a gift for myself. Thank you very much." she smiled to me.

Stop. Please. I can't breathe.

"Oh it's nothing. I'm glad you liked it." I answered.

"I love it." She replied.

****

March 31, 2019

"We really hope she's the one." Nayeon unnie said.

We're here in our house. We are talking about Momo unnie and Mina unnie.

"Yeah. Mina had really made our Momo happy." Sana unnie said.

"Also, Momo has changed a lot since she met Mina. I really hope they would end up together." Sana unnie added.

"How about you Chaeng? What can you say about them?" Jihyo unnie asked.

Me? I'm not interested.

"Yeah. They look good together." I said. I just hope they wouldn't notice the lack of enthusiasm with my words.

"I know right!" Thanks to Nayeon unnie's great excitement, I was saved.

They continued chatting while I continued spacing out.

****

April 23, 2019

It's my birthday and everyone was here.

I'm now 21 years old (Korean age). I'm so happy because everyone else was happy. I hope that I'd get to enjoy the rest of my 'adult' years.

"Chaeyoung!" Oops. Someone called me.

Oh. It was Mina unnie.

"Hey unnie. How are you?" I asked her.

"I'm fine. How about you? Our birthday girl." She asked.

"I'm happy. Thanks for attending."

"No problem. And uhm Chaeyoung, this is my gift for you." She said while giving me a colorful designed paper bag. I opened it and I saw a small tiger stuff toy.

"It's so cute. Thanks Mina unnie!" I thanked her.

"I'm glad you liked it. When I saw that toy, I remembered you. That's why I bought it." She said.

"You shouldn't have, unnie."

"It's nothing." She smiled. Oh how I love that gummy smil- what? She's taken, Chaeng. Stop it.

"Still, thank you."

****

April 25, 2019

"Hey. I'm sorry I was 10 minutes late. I almost missed my train." I said while I'm chasing my breath.

"It's fine. You should have taken your time." she said.

"Mina unnie, why did you want to meet?" I asked her as I sit on the chair.

"Nothing, I just think I should catch up with you. I have already met the others so uhm you know." She said.

"Oh, sure. I get it." I smiled to her.

"So what do you want to get?"

And it never stopped.

****

100

May 11, 2019

I'm so ashamed of myself. I should have stopped when I still know that I can. How can I stop now?

This must explain why I was not happy to see them together. I shouldn't have agreed to hang out with her during my free time. How can i forget she's taken?

I'm such a fool.

Momo unnie is my best mate in the family.

I'm so sorry.

I did not want to.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to stop.

****

125

May 31, 2019

I can't.

I just can't stop this feelings.

I'm hopeless.

I tried.

Mina unnie, I think I'm- no.

No.

I should stop.

****

But I didn't.

I did not stop admiring Mina unnie.

Admiration became Infatuation. Then slowly it became love. And I swear she feels the same way too. If only she's not someone else's.

This is wrong.

A very wrong love.

I can't just ignore her.

Her invitations? I can't seem to decline them.

Her smile? I can't stop admiring it.

Her voice? I can't seem to forget it.

Her eyes? I can't help but to get lost with it.

Her? I can't stop loving her.

Even though I should.

Momo unnie has definitely changed for the better. Everyone loved Momo unnie with Mina unnie.

It's been a year since the day I met Mina unnie.

I wish I could go back in time where I can still look at Momo unnie without guilt.

I hate this.

"Chaeyoung." It's her voice.

"Hey." I greeted her.

"What are you doing here outside the house? Everyone is enjoying themselves. Jihyo will soon be blowing her candles. Would you like to go inside?" she asked me.

"Maybe later? No one can see me here that's why I'm here." I answered.

"Chaeyoung, are you okay?"

"Yes, unnie." No. I'm far from being okay.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." No.

"Do you want to tell me something?"

"No. There's nothing." I love you.

"Okay." She walked away slowly.

"I love you." I whispered to the wind.

"What?" Mina unnie walked towards me.

She heard that?

OH Please no.

Help.

Someone help me.

"Did I hear you right?"

"No."

"I heard you just fine."

"No."

"I think it's safe to say that I lo-"

"NO STOP. DON'T SAY ANYTHING."

"Why?"

"I know what you're going to say and it's wrong."

She went closer to me. She held my cheeks.

No.

"Why is it wrong when it feels so right?" She said.

Tears started flowing on my cheeks.

"Momo unnie."

"I can break up with her."

"No you shouldn't. It will break her."

"But-"

"Listen. Momo unnie has only loved you and only you. She was not like that before. But you changed her. You gave her a chance to be in love again. I don't want to ruin that. And we're family. I don't want to destroy my relationship with her."

"But I love you."

"And I love you too. But we shouldn't. Everyone knows that you two are perfect. I know you love her too."

"Yeah. I'm sorry. B-but. Chaeyoung. How about you?" She asked, crying.

"I'll be fine, unnie. I'll be fine."

Tears continued flowing from both of our eyes.

"Go inside. Momo unnie must be looking for you. Forget everything that we had. Momo unnie would be sad. Please." I said to her.

She went inside like nothing happened. I was left here outside. Alone. In the cold.

****

Six months since that night and nothing changed about my feelings for her. I still love her.

"Hey Chaeng!"

"Mina unnie? What are you doing here?"

"Is it wrong to be walking alone in the park? And besides, I wanted to talk to you."

"Why?"

She sat on the farthest side of the bench I'm sitting.

"Momo proposed to me."

"And?" I tried to sound nonchalant.

"I said yes."

It hurts.

"Congratulations."

"Yeah. I just wanted you to know."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"Chaeyoung?"

"Yes?"

"I may love her but I love you most. I'm sorry I couldn't fight."

"I never wanted you to fight for us. It's alright. This, you know, will heal."

"I'm always yours. Even when I'm not."

She hugged me.

"So this must be goodbye? For our love, I mean." She asked me.

"Yes." She walked away.

Mina unnie, I know you would be happy with her. Maybe not today nor tomorrow but I know that someday you will definitely be happy. I love you. But this is goodbye.

Maybe. In another life.

-fin-