Yoongi POV

She thought I was dead all this time and has done nothing but hate me for being selfish and leaving her... 

Was it really selfish? I guess it was... I regret it every day. But she'll never know that; will never listen to that. 

"Yoongi." Taehyung clicked at me, my head lifting immediately as I brushed the hair out of my eyes. "Stop looking like a miserable puppy." 

"Can you blame me?" I sighed, folding my fingers around the small lock within my pocket. I will always cherish this lock. It is all I have to remind me of what Hana and I shared for a very short time. 

"No. I would be miserable too." Taehyung admitted, shrugging lightly. "But I'm not you." 

"Why are you even here?" My eyes met his, pleading him to just leave. I've changed. I don't hurt myself anymore... I am on medication for depression, though it does not completely cure me, it keeps those selfish and hurtful acts at bay. I would've ditched the meds by now... If it wasn't for her. But she isn't on my side anymore, so should I just ditch them now? Maybe. 

"I'm here to set some things straight, you know, the usual 'love triangle' ." Taehyung grinned in a sort of mocking way. 

"There is no love triangle, Tae." I couldn't help but sigh again. "Hana does not have feelings for me anymore and I'm trying to move on." 

"Are you?" He nodded at my pocket. "I really don't think so." 

"Mind your business. What do you have to set straight? If Hana falls in love with you, then she does. This is not a game. It is her heart. She will pick who she wants and that is how her life will go." 

"No, no. I'm not telling you to stay out of the way or let me have her or any of that drama bull." Taehyung chuckled slightly, turning his grin into more of a friendly action this time. "I'm just saying that I'm rooting for you. You're right, it is her heart. She will want who she wants and love who she wants. Yes, I hope she falls for me just as I've fallen for her. But you're a good friend and in the end, she is my best friend as well. I want the best for both of you even if it is each other." 

"Well I can assure you, you have nothing to fear between us." I mumbled, giving Taehyung a quick pat on the shoulder before heading out of the house. "Lock the place when you leave, I'm not coming back tonight."

"Where will you be?"

"Where I always am." I turned to smirk at him. "The only place that makes sense."

--

"Another?" 

"Yeah." I nodded reluctantly. "Please."

"Who are you buying all these for?" 

"Myself."

"How can one person eat so much?" The vendor chuckled, handing my bag of sweet rolls to me. "But yet be so fit?"

"Secrets, I guess." I took the bag and carried on down the mall complex. 

This was my place during the days when I had nothing planned and nothing to do. I went in the same stores, looked at the same things, and only ever bought sweet rolls from the same vendor. 

My steps slowed as I saw a familiar figure, the figure of the woman that stood on my door step just a few days ago. The figure of a woman that would have rather known I was dead for the rest of her life than to see me open the door and face her. Park Hana. 

She was smiling, radiant as ever, at all the guests around her. My eyes panned above her. Angel Cosmetic. 

I tried to walk away like she would have wanted me to. And then I even tried the opposite and walk towards her. But I just stood there, people bumping all around me and sneering at me for being in the way. My eyes wouldn't leave the woman they sought. Yet the woman they sought is not someone I should even be within seeing distance. 

Taehyung's tall figure strode by me without even recognizing me and joined Hana at her side once the guests backed off. She smiled, even bigger than before, and threw her arms around him. Just something so minor, broke my heart completely and my eyes finally left her and focused on the ground. I was selfish. But I can't expect to be forgiven so easily. If I want her then why am I just sitting around pitying myself? Isn't it time I do something I want for once?

With an aching heart and a new found set of determination, I my heels and walked through the complex until I found the exit I needed. No one gets a happy ending when they sit around crying to themselves about someone who isn't coming to them first. 

I pulled out my cellphone the second I entered my car, dropping the bag of sweet rolls on the seat beside me, next to all the other empty bags from the vendor. 

"Hello?" Jungkook answered quickly. "Hyung? What's up?" 

"Can you give me Hana's new address? I think it is time I pay a visit." 

"Sure I'll text it to you." Jungkook answered slowly. "Do you think it is a good idea?"

"Nothing will get better if we sit around where we've left off." I sighed. "And for once, I want to be the one to try and fix things with her." 

"Wow. Dead for a year and all the sudden you've become a mature old man."

"Jungkook."

"Sorry, sorry." He snickered. "Taehyung visits her pretty frequently. Your best bet is to beat him to it. And sometimes even that little girl Taehyung has with him will be there with Hana. She is really fond of Hana and Chico." 

"Thank you. See you later."

"Get the girl, Yoongi!" Jungkook joked as I hung up, waiting eagerly for the text message to pop up. 

Not too bad of a location, Hana. I see your finances are much better off. 

I need to find something else to do for a few hours... And then try my luck with Hana. 

It'll be hard to regain her trust... But I'm determined to try. Even if it, well, not kills me. 

--

The second I shut off my car, my stomach dropped and my heartache came back just with the view of her house. I noted the car I was parked behind and got even more nervous. A nice car too... So if I leave the country for a year and come back, will I be rich too? 

After many attempts of trying to turn the car back on to leave, frustration kicked in and I pulled myself out of the car with the bag of sweet rolls. For once, I didn't eat them. I passed time playing games on my phone to distract myself from eating them and from getting nervous about being here.

But here I am... Nervous as all hell anyway. If I don't do this, Taehyung will come marching through that door and take my chance. 

With that thought in mind, I dragged myself to her front door, my shoulders held pretty low as I realized how vulnerable I was at this moment. Stop thinking about yourself. Knock on the door. 

Come on. 

Do it.

Just as I reached a hand up to knock, the door opened with Hana's eyes piercing into mine. . 

"You're probably right to be hesitant." She sighed. "Look, I'm not really in the mood to straighten things out between us or to talk about anything. I got back from work a little bit ago and haven't even showered yet. I would like to relax."

"Then we don't have to talk." I sighed, holding the bag of rolls out. "Take these."

She took the bag and peeked inside, her eyes melting slightly before she shook her head and they pierced mine again. "Thank you. I haven't had these in a while." 

"I eat too many of them." He rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, both happy I came here and yet regretting every decision I made today. 

I studied her as she studied me as well, defeat shining in her eyes as she stepped back from the door. "Do you want to come in?" 

"I didn't come here to stand at your door." I mumbled. 

She nodded and waited for me to enter, shutting the door behind me and then heading into her kitchen to place the bag down. Chico came out from somewhere, I wasn't sure from where, and nearly attacked me with all the love and attention a dog could possibly give. 

"He missed all you guys." She sighed a little. "I'm going to take a shower. I'll talk for a little bit afterwards if you want to wait."

I nodded and watched her disappear before I knelt down to rub Chico's ears and give him some praising. You've gotten so big. 

Taking my shoes off once Chico lost interest, I made my way over to the couch and sat down. Even though Hana was not within my sights, I was still afraid to move even an inch. I've never been intimidated by her, nervous of course, but intimidated is something new. When you have such high stakes on the line, I guess even someone as caring as Hana can become an intimidation. 

In all truth, I had no idea what I was going to say to her. I knew I had to say something but what was a hard question. So I sat there for a while, trying and trying to come up with something to say. An ice breaker even before we got anywhere in the conversation. IF we got anywhere... But I had nothing. 

When the water shut off from the shower, my heart quickened. How much time had passed already? And I still had nothing to say? I'm so ed. 

I tried harder as I could hear her shuffling around and getting dressed. She was clearly in no hurry to come out here. I should just leave. This was a horrible idea. 

I shifted to stand but it was too late, Hana was in sight again with a towel around her head as she headed to the kitchen. 

"So, what do you have to say?" Hana asked, her voice more level than mine could ever be in this situation. "I didn't expect to see you again for a while to be honest. The old Min Yoongi would have stayed away after what I said." 

"You're right." I sighed, making my way to the kitchen as well and sat in one of the bar stools, glancing at my hands as I rested them on the table. "But I'm not the old Min Yoongi." 

"I see that. Do you want water? Coffee?" 

"Water is fine." 

She nodded and went to grab the bottled water in the fridge. "Did you at least come with a topic? I'm not in the mood to get to know this new Min Yoongi." 

"I know. But honestly, I have nothing to say." 

"Then why?" She growled, setting a cup down in front of me and pouring water sloppily into the cup, giving me a look before capping the bottle and putting it back in the fridge. "Got a knack for being places you're not wanted?" 

"I guess so. I want to know this Hana." Her eyes lifted in warning and I quickly fixed myself. "Park Hana." We aren't close enough to drop formalities anymore.

"What is the point in that?" She leaned against the counter from the other side, facing me with an annoyed expression. 

I shrugged but she knew what I was after, I could just see it on her face, past all the annoyance she didn't bother hiding. 

"You know how bad it hurt to watch you die." She swallowed, for once sounding shaken up again. "How much it hurt to think you were dead. And how much it hurt to find you alive again. Can you imagine how much it hurts to see you sitting here right now, treating me like nothing happened?"

My heart stung a bit. I guess that is what it looks like from her end. "I could say I'm sorry a thousand times but I know it won't make a difference." I sighed, chancing a look at her eyes and regretting it. She isn't even bothering to hide the pain she's in. She wants me to know... She wants me to leave. "So I'm not going to say I'm sorry a thousand times. Instead... I'm going to try and make it up to you."

"There is nothing in this world that could change what happened nor make me forget it. Now you're trying to cover it?" 

"Of course not. We talked about it, briefly, but we did. And we can talk about it whenever you want and if you ever want to." I shook my head, finding words difficult at the moment. "I never got my chance to treat you like you should be treated. And I probably will never get that chance again. So instead, I want to try to gain your friendship again. Just that, that is all I'm after. I know it'll take time... A lot of time. But I want you to know that I'm here and I'll always aid you if you need it." 

"What if I don't want this?"

My heart stung again. "It is the only way I can make it up to you, or try to. By being your friend and treating you the best anyone can. It is the only way I can live without guilt." I paused. "No that sounds very wrong. I don't want you to live in pain."

"And because I'm in pain now, you feel guilty." She stood up, anger replacing every feature on her face. "So you're here to pity me?"

"No no, that really isn't what I meant." I tried to defend myself but I had dug a hole. This is probably as far as I'm getting today. Anything else and I may push it too far... Further than I already pushed my limits at least. "I really didn't mean that." I took a quick sip of water and stood. "I pushed my limits today and caused another misunderstanding. I'll take my leave."

"So you'll come back?" She tsked, catching that 'for today' meaning. 

I smirked a little bit. "I'll always come back. And I'll keep coming back until you give me a chance to prove myself a changed person and a person worthy to be your friend." 

"This really is a new Min Yoongi. The old one would never chase someone." 

"I wouldn't call it chasing." I mumbled, going over to the door to slip on my shoes, taking a glance at Chico lying on the couch, watching me. "I made a mistake, a very very big mistake." I stood and smirked once more. "What else can I do to make up for it other than trying to prove myself worthy to be by your side as a friend again?" 

"By staying away from me." She mumbled as well, her voice hinting a bit of a daring tone to it. She doesn't think I'll try. She's daring me. You've got to be kidding Hana, you know I can't pass up a dare. 

I gave a quick nod and slipped out of the door, smiling to myself as I moved quickly to my car and threw myself in, starting it and locking it quickly before I slid into my seat. My eyes closed briefly before I sat up and backed out of her driveway. I took a small step backwards but I feel like I took a small step back forward as well. I'm back at where I started before I came... I guess that's a good thing. 

I need to talk to Taehyung. He knows new Hana better than anyone.

I can see the old Hana still but I know it is only a matter of time until she fades... She's still the woman I love. 

Even if I hardly know her anymore... I'm committed to being by her side in whatever way I can.

She deserves that after what I put her through. 

She deserves a changed Yoongi.

--

"So, I heard about the little visit you paid Hana." Namjoon smirked. "Things being resolved?"

"You know it doesn't work that way." I sighed, my fingers pausing on the keys, my eyes zoned into nothing. "What I did was very selfish and horrible. How do I come back from it? I thought showing her that I've changed and earning a spot by her side as a friend that treats her well would be a good start. But she didn't seem too convinced."

"Because to her, you're the bad guy." Namjoon paced the piano a bit, nodding slowly. "Everything you will try to do, she will reject it because she is in pain still. Really you can't forget it happened, you can't cover it up, and a sorry won't do. This really is the best way so for once, good job." 

"Shut up."

"But she won't just accept that. Women are complicated... But even in this sense, she is justified to want to stay as far from you as possible. Think of it the other way around. How would you feel after seeing Hana when she has done what you have?"

"Heart broken..." I admitted. "And angry... Oh so angry..."

"Bingo."

"So if I just keep doing what I'm trying to do... Do you think she'll eventually see how sorry I really am?" 

"Hopefully." Namjoon paused and smiled at me. "You've changed a lot Yoongi. Don't lose yourself now that she's back in your life." 

"I feel like I'm going crazy already." I grumbled, slamming my hands on the keys and standing. "I need to take my meds. I thought I could go a day without them but I already feel those feelings creeping back and I don't even want to worry about them." 

"You can do it." Namjoon chuckled. "Go take them and relax. If you go crazy now, how will you ever show her you're being sincere?" 

He's right. He's always right. 

But I just sat back down and stared at the piano. "I never got to finish teaching her piano. She wanted to when we first met. But things got busy and crazy and... I never followed through with that." 

"You regret it?"

"Of course I do." I chuckled a bit, my eyes feeling slightly watery but were dismissed immediately as I calmed myself down. "She really did want to learn. And we always had a good time attempting to accomplish that. It helped out bond a little bit." 

"Why do you tell yourself you're over her when you act like this just thinking about her?" 

"Because I need to be over her to repent for what I did." I snapped, apologizing about my tone immediately. "When we first saw each other, I could tell she had something for me still. But after that meeting ended and then after seeing her again. I'm confident there is nothing there for me anymore."

"Do you want there to be?"

"In a perfect world, yes. But after what I did, I would never wish that on her. That's why I need to be over her. Only when I'm over her... Will I be able to show her how sincerely sorry I am and how much I regret it all." 

"Well... Sadly, I think I'm in agreement with you." Namjoon sat down on the bench with me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Everything is going to work itself out. You have all of us here for you." 

I nodded. "I made the mistake of excluding you all the first time. But I won't make it this time." 

Namjoon smiled again and removed his hand. "You've really grown. You're one of the eldest but why did you grow up the most over this year?"

"Shut up." I snarled, shouldering him a bit. "I need to meet with Taehyung." 

"Gonna start a rival eh?"

"No. I'm going to learn about the woman that changed because of me." 

"She is a bit different, isn't she? She holds herself a lot higher and of course the money." Namjoon agreed. "She found self respect and confidence. I'm proud of her." 

"Me too." 

Guess I have the task this time, Hana. 

Bit of a short, jump-y chapter on my arrival back! Wanted you guys to see some key factors of this "new" Yoongi and his tension with Hana before I went more into this story! Don't be fooled by what you read ;) ~PandaBiscuit~ 

PS... Great to be back already <3 I really did think of this story a lot and missed it! I hate leaving things uncompleted so I knew I would be back eventually. Thank you so much for sticking it out with me, I know that time must've been very frustrating! But I'm here for you all and the story will continue on its path I've had planned for, what, nearly a year now isn't lmao 

Anyways, chapter 4 will be longer and back with Hana. Thought it was deserved ya'll caught up with this Yoongi first! 

See you in chapter 4!! :)