note: idk what Haha and Byul's second son's name is, and since I saw someone somewhere say that they wished it was Hope and couldn't think of anything better, I just went along with it lol. Please correct me if anyone knows his name!

edit: RM themselves gave me the answer lmao! Haha's second son's name is So Wool!

another edit: ...lol. I can't believe it flew over my head that So Wool = Soul. Anyways, I've corrected everything again!

+/-

It’s a combination of a good time and a bad idea and an even worse case of hormonal imbalance owing to like, pre-menopause, or something geriatric like that, because Jihyo’s old, alright, she’s already kind of accepted this, so she’s ruled it all out, she can’t be—she’s not—

What she means to say is: she’s made a mistake. And as all mistakes go, it starts with her accepting an offer to drink from Ha Donghoon.

But before that: there’s a party. Soul turns one, and the theme this time seems to be The Bigger, The Better, because Haha seems to have invited every parent in his contact list, along with the ones he could find in Seoul’s phone directory who were half related to someone who knew a guy who spilled coffee on an insider who works in the entertainment circuit like they did, the result being that she was one of the only single women attending, surrounded by copious amounts of child rearing couples—who varied between a spectrum of utter obnoxious happiness and the harrowed eyebags on eyebags look: the quintessential parent USP—and an overwhelming, inescapable load of screaming kids.

“This is...” Jongkook breathes out, shoulders hunched in an imitation of a fighting stance. She would laugh at how seventy-eight kilogram—or so he said, but whatever, everyone’s internalized these ridiculous weight ideals, she’s definitely not one to talk—reverse Michelin man Kim Jongkook is scared of children, if she wasn’t so ing terrified herself. “Donghoon’s actually lost it. The second kid’s really done his head in. There's really nothing left to him besides being a dad.”

“Nah, hyung,” Kwangsoo says, animal face paint smudging at his chin, carrying a child whose parents he’s most likely only met three minutes ago but have probably charmed an hour before that, because that was just Kwangsoo’s special brand of love inducing magic. “You’ve just finally found your kryptonite: a hundred children’s collective decibel levels. Then again, can you even hear at that frequency with your aging ears?”

“If you weren’t holding a child right now,” Jongkook starts, doesn’t continue, because the threat completes itself, and also because the child’s parents have come around to collect their kid. He smiles winningly, tells them they were a cute family, and sits down heavily into his chair at their designated table.

She isn't sure if it's mercy or the biggest insult he has in his arsenal against them for this year, but Haha's seated them at a table specifically organized for single people. Jaesuk and Sukjin were off convening with their dad crew somewhere across the room, and she's stuck in the corner with the rest of them who were as close to fatherhood as their show had been to achieving a resurgence in Sunday ratings after the reformatting—which is to say, not at all.

"This is insane," Gary says from beside her as Kwangsoo and Jongkook start talking about something by themselves, tipping the brim of his cap lower to cover his face, his frown the only thing visible. He'd come in later than all of them, donning thick framed, dark tinted sunglasses and that telltale slump to his back that he only gets whenever he's stayed up all night to produce a song and had only come halfway to finishing it. "Makes me want to have my own kids even less."

"Makes me appreciate that I changed my mind when I'd tried psyching myself into having one years ago," she chimes along. Gary snorts in appreciation, and nothing more. He must be really tired, she thinks, can see him falling asleep even with all the preschool playground yelling going on around them. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he answers, shuffling a bit in his seat. "Work, stress, more work. The usual, you already know."

Not really. She hasn't talked to him in months, not since their last group dinner. They don't text much, either, because they hadn't texted much, even before he left the show, but they've completely stopped direct communication barring the times the original cast gets together to eat. Most of what she knows about how he is now comes from everyone else's updates on him when they all talk during ten minute breaks in between filming, and it's not because she doesn't care enough to keep in touch, it's more...a realization. They're friends—family—but you realize quickly how much that bond really relies on having an obligation to meet every week once it's been dissolved and you didn't have to see them anymore. Now, you had to want to see them, and she knows both of them are too busy to fully commit to a friendship that needed upkeep like that, so she hadn't bothered. Some people just seem to be meant to be kept at a distance.

"The album's not progressing well?" she asks, and waits for his response as the server—Haha had even hired servers for a children's party—refills their glasses with water.

Gary nods his thanks at the server before saying, "Not bad. I'm redoing half of it though, and the deadline I'd set was in two weeks, so it's just a little chaotic right now. Inspiration's a bit lacking."

"Ah," she says, nods sympathetically. She doesn't fully understand how it is to be a record artist on a due date running out of creativity, but she does understand how it is to be bone-deep tired. "Well, if seeing the evidence of the beauty of birth right now can't inspire you, then I really don't know what to say to you, oppa."

He grimaces at her, like she'd just told him that he might as well scrap the whole album, but Haha walks up to their table, Soul in his arms, and something softens significantly on his face that it kind of catches her off guard, the contrast of the things he says against the things he shows.

"If I wasn't in love with this guy, I'd really be ing killing you, Donghoon," he says, fatigue gone from his whole demeanor as he takes Soul from Haha and sits him onto his lap, shaking a tiny chubby hand in his. "What's up, little man? Tell your dad to tone it down next time, yeah? All these kids running around when the only kid who matters today is you, knocking away your spotlight like that. Seriously."

"Stop badmouthing me to my own kid, hyung," Haha whines, but his smile's pretty patent, watches raptly as Soull giggles when Gary bounces him on his knee. She watches, too. For someone who's just pretty much explicitly and implicitly claimed to not want to have anything to do with children, he was awfully good at handling them and looking like he cared.

"You'll make a good dad," she says, hurtling out of when he lets Soul stand on his thigh and sling his arm around his neck for support, his own hand rested on Soul's back to stabilize him, and something lightens in her chest, too. Whatever that something even is. "Now he makes you want to take back everything negative you've said about having children, huh?"

"Interested in having one to share, then?" Gary says, grinning at her impishly, and oh. Oh. Is that what it is? "I'm still free."

"You're not an option," she says dismissively, but she looks away from him in favour of holding Soul's other hand and allowing him to step one foot over to her leg. She feels Haha's curious stare alternating between her and Gary, but if he has something to say about it, it's impeded by Kwangsoo and Jongkook's arrival from the serving table, plates of food in the palms of their hands.

"Noona, you look like such a mom," Kwangsoo says, sets down his plate on the table and walks over to crouch in between her and Gary's seat to make faces at Soul, who squeals in his amusement.

"Mong Ji's got the procreation urge kicking in," Gary says teasingly, and her weak glare only earns her an even larger grin from him. "I'd offer to help, but I'm still too busy for things like that."

She'd call him out on the blatant lie—he'd already offered, and she'd already rejected, so please— already open in attack, but Haha interjects unknowingly with his, "Too busy for a drink after?"

Jongkook whistles. "I was wrong about you. You're still the same drunk rascal. And on your son's birthday too, tsk."

"Go Eun's let me," Haha defends, quite vigorously. "She said we haven't gotten together in a while, so she's let it pass. Besides, I'm only drinking a little bit. I still have to get home sober enough to put my kids to bed."

"That woman's a saint, and she's way too good for you," Gary says, and everyone hums their agreement. "But fine. I'll go. I need a break anyways."

Kwangsoo and Jongkook give their assent too, which leaves her with the last answer. "I don't know. I have filming tomorrow."

"C'mon, noona," Kwangsoo says, looking up at her cajolingly. He'd been the one trying to set up a schedule for all of them to meet this whole past month, so she isn't surprised at his earnestness. Kwangsoo's like that; sentimental, keeps his friends close and the people he's deemed family even closer, needs constant contact to feel like people care, that he himself is giving enough. "You told me it wasn't until the afternoon, so you've got plenty of time to be hungover in the morning."

"I'm getting too old for this," she says, which is the truth, as mentioned. She's always been a lightweight, but her tolerance has gone down even lower with age, can't wake up after drinking a bottle of soju without remembering having have made a bad decision the night prior, usually one that was still in her bed. "I'm a lady, you know."

Everyone bursts out in canned laughter. "Since when has that ever mattered?" Haha asks, and scoops Soul back in his arms from Gary and her when he startles into tears from the loud sound, cooing at him lowly to soothe his anxiety. They can crack jokes all they like about who's deserving to be a family man or not, but Haha's never going to be anything less than the most dedicated of fathers for his children. "Lighten up, Mistress Song Jihyo. I'm even paying, so make the most out of it."

That catches her attention. She can't recall the last time she's went out drinking and not had to foot the bill—because apparently people believed that acting and Running Man have made her equivalent to someone on the Forbes' list of the wealthiest people—so she mulls it over, and then decides. "Alright. But someone has to stop me i