Taemin's POV

"Hyung, what are we doing here?" I asked Jinki as we walked up onto the rooftop that held so many dear memories of us. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining not in the slightest I love spending time with all of my hyungs, Jinki even more so I highly treasure the time I get to spend to him.

Even when we were still trainees I would always look forward to us meeting up here at the rooftop, we would spend hours up here just talking sometimes we would play rock, paper, scissors and other times Jinki would give me vocal lessons or even just sing whatever song I requested.

He didn't say anything as he walked out onto the roof and made his way over to the railings, there has been tension between us for the last few months. 

So much so that we've barely been speaking to one another and generally staying out of ones hair and I have no idea how or why it happened. So you can imagine my surprise when Jinki had asked if we could go for a walk. 

"Hyung, please answer me?" I asked from my spot at the doorway. But again he didn't say anything and just continued to stare out at the city before us taking in it's view.

I finally gathered the courage you could say to walk out onto the rooftop and away from my safe spot by the doorway. Its almost feels like déja vu -except Jinki wasn't singing and I wasn't entranced by his warm honey voice. 

There was only silence and apprehension as I made my way over to him When I finally stood next to him I only focused on looking out at the city limits in front of me.

The silence between us wasn't awkward, or comfortable nor even tense it was just that; silent. And that is what terrified me, I've never really shown my emotions for everyone to see Jinki even more so than me.

And whenever we did bare our souls it was always to one another as we knew we could trust the other to not laugh, judge or mock. But when this tension kicked in between us we stopped confiding in the other and I knew that I would break sooner or later because of it.

I let out a shaky sigh and looked at Jinki, and like always I was enchanted by him he was absolutely gorgeous. The afternoon sun bathed him in such radiant light that it made him seem dazzling. 

I've always had a little crush on him ever since the moment I saw him up here on the rooftop singing with so much passion and love. And that little crush gradually turned into a larger crush and then it went and turned into absolute love.

He knew I was staring at him, I could just tell but he just ignored my staring eyes and kept his focused on the view of the city or anywhere that wasn't me.

And that tore at my already -ever so slowly- breaking heart; knowing that I was staring at him and awaiting for him to finally answer my questions.

When I couldn't take it anymore I turned away from him and I turned my head up to look up at the bright sunny sky.

This weather wasn't fitting for this morose setting that we're in, but I guess it makes seem even more worse when the sky is clear, the sun shining and the sounds of people below us talking and happily going about their lives without a care in the world.

I couldn't take it anymore, this silence, this tension between us I just wanted no I needed Jinki to tell me why this is happening to us.

I need him to tell us that this isn't the end of our friendship that I've held so dear to my heart. I just needed an explanation, I've already come to terms that he would never return my love for him, I've come to terms that he was straight so I've settled for second best; our friendship.

But now even that seems to be coming to an end.
I've never felt more scared in my life.
Tears were starting to form in my eyes but I held them back, as I knew that if our friendship is over there was no way in hell that I would cry in front of Jinki ever again.

He would've lost the right.

I stared at him again "this is the end isn't it?" I asked the inevitable question, that question seemed to have roused something in him because he finally turned to look at me. Though he still didn't say anything he just stared at me, I couldn't take it anymore and I lowered my gaze and looked at the ground.

I was losing my struggle with holding my tears back, and I knew I lost when I felt them falling from my eyes and rolling down my cheek. The tension between us, the beginnings of losing one of the most important if not the most important person in my life and the fact that Jinki hasn't said a single word to me since back at our dorm.

Just broke me.

Though my tears weren't accompanied by loud anguished filled crying or heartbreaking sobbing, the tears just fell silently. So I was grateful for that as I don't think I could take it if Jinki saw me compleatly breaking down.

I'd do that away from the dorm alone so none of my hyungs can hear it. And I didn't fall to my knees and cry either I just stood feet firmly planted and face looking straight at the ground.

Through my silent tears and absolute anguish, I started feeling another emotion one I hardly ever feel; anger.

It's one thing to call off your friendship with your best friend but it's a compleatly different manner entirely when you drag your so-called best friend to the place where you first met and had so many fond memories off and not say anything to them while you just watch as they break down compleatly in front of you.

I guess it's similar to breaking up with someone via a text message or phone call rather than face to face. "You're such a ing " I said looking up at him finally, my tears had stopped falling but the trails down my cheeks were still wet and my eyes were stinging from crying.
 
"How dare you do this to me in a sacred place like this, I can take just about anything Jinki but I can't take you breaking off our friendship in the place where we first met, it's such a move!" I yelled I could still surprise him apparently because he seemed shocked at my outburst.

"I never thought you could be so cruel I thought you were a good guy, I thought you would never hurt me but I guess I was wrong" I said. Tears starting to form again but this time they were accompanied by the heartbreaking sobs.

I guess since this is the end I could confess everything to him without the fear of rejection seeing as nothing he could say could now could hurt me anymore than he already has.

"You know what the worst thing is about this?, I wouldn't be this broken as I am right now, is if I hadn't of fallen in love with you, but I did I fell in love with you" you could say that I had the grim satisfaction of watching his eyes widen and then turn guilty from my confession.

I then turned away from him and started walking away from him, when I was at the door I stopped but I didn't face him.
"I'm not going to leave SHINee, I wouldn't do that to our fans but you and I are done Jinki I'm giving you what you wanted and that is our friendship ending, I've never regretted anything in my life before, but now you've given me the bitter taste of regret Jinki, the regret of ever meeting you" I let out a shaky breath before telling him the one thing that I hope would hurt him like he has hurt me.

"But the thing I regret the most in the world is that I regret ever falling in love with you knowing that I will never fall for another again you were it for me Jinki, you were my everything" and with that I walked away from him and out of his life compleatly.