dressed up to the eyes (it's a wonderful surprise)
all mineA fluffy birthday present for ms minty fresh from Twitter, because all I can do is gift lame works of fiction to my mutuals ;__;
Feelings like love don't always need to be said aloud.
Seulgi knows that from films, books, and experience. She knows that some of the most important things you could tell someone aren't voiced, simply because there's no point in saying what they should already know.
The problem is just being certain that it stands true. That your loved one doesn't doubt you in any way, and that you know yourself that it's true.
In her youth, Kang Seulgi was never sure when the time was right to say "I love you". When her father would buy her gifts out of the blue, she would hesitate for a childish fear of overusing the words. When her mother tried to ensure her independence by teaching her how to cook and clean for herself, she felt that it wasn't the right time. When her older brother put aside their ongoing row to tell off some kids harassing her in middle school, she feared he would just go back to teasing her about it endlessly.
When her first boyfriend patted her head and walked her home during high school, she thought he wouldn't say it back. When her first girlfriend kissed her on the cheek with a promise of seeing her the next day on campus, she just thought to herself, "I'll tell her tomorrow."
It was only as she read her beloved's breakup text that night (starting with a simple 'Sorry') that she regretted all of the missed opportunities tolling up in her head. She vowed to herself then to toss the idea of leaving feelings unsaid — to do away with her hopeful assumptions and wary hesitations, and let her loved ones know her thoughts before the chance slipped by.
Except apparently she's slow to realise her own heart the third time around, because Seulgi’s beaten to the cut before she can think even about it at length.
Soojung has always been good at catching her off guard anyway.
It’s happens on a rainy Friday evening spent inside, just like any other weekend in their second year of university. Only this time they're reviewing for their midterms in Seulgi's tiny apartment, with notes scattered all over the coffee table in a rendition of orderly chaos. Thus far, Soojung's made it about halfway through some previously compiled notes on her written section for the history of metalwork in design.
Seulgi gave up trying to revise for her own exam about three new high scores ago.
“— so if you start on the harder section of art history and keep — Seul, are you listening?” Soojung tries snapping her fingers just above her phone before clicking her tongue. "Look, can you please just press pause for one minute —"
"I'm almost qualified for the top tier of this week, not yet!"
"Kang Seulgi."
"Jung Soojung."
Her girlfriend gives a low growl and Seulgi can definitely feel her impatient glare now, but she's halfway through this song and she just got past the most difficult bit, so when she carries on undeterred Soojung just relents a mere two seconds later with a childish huff.
"Stupid tappy game," she mutters, sitting back on her heels with an unamused glower that does nothing but fuel the smile on the older girl's lips.
"Give me a minute and then you can have your fun, alright?"
"I'm trying to help you study, you dolt."
Seulgi just gives her an unconvinced hum, and soon enough she's fistpumping the air with a whoop of victory. Soojung shakes her head at the sight, visibly trying not to smile too much.
It’s futile though, and Seulgi spots her expression easily as she sets her phone on her lap and grins at her.
"Victory kiss?"
"No," she says, even as she leans in and plants one soundly on her lips.
"One more?"
"Pushing it."
"I meant one more song."
Soojung narrows her eyes. "Okay, now you're just asking to get hit."
"Aw," Seulgi smiles a little more gently, tilting her head with an affectionate squint of her eyes. "I just love teasing you."
"I know," the taller girl utters, reaching up to cup her jaw and hold her still as she kisses her once more.
Then there's a knock at the door, and Soojung immediately groans as Seulgi giggles against and parts from her with a raised eyebrow.
"Are you getting that, or…?"
"It's your apartment," the architect points out gruffly, but immediately deflates when Seulgi dutifully bounces to her feet and makes her way over to greet whoever it is that interrupted them.
"You leave your game for the door, but not your girlfriend…" she hears Soojung mutter, and she can't help but laugh and glance back to see her busying herself with organising the mess of revision material on the table.
The familiar logo and poster red t–shirt attacks Seulgi's eyes first as she opens the door, blinking at the box held out to her as a male a little older than her age looks up from his phone.
"One large meatfeast with extra sauce?" The gangly delivery boy drawls, squinting down at her shorts and shirt combination for a few seconds too long for her to be comfortable with. Seulgi suppresses a grimace.
"I don't think —" A clutter of books falls to the floor behind her, followed by some quiet curses as she raises a finger. “…Just a moment, please?"
She turns to see Soojung mumbling to herself while picking up the textbooks previously stacked on the table, and a smile twitches at the sight. It only widens when she calls out a “‘Jung—ah?" and watches her girlfriend jolt a little, knocking even more of them to the ground and drawing a childish whine from her as she scrambles to collect them.
"Yes?" comes her mildly aggravated reply, and Seulgi watches her run pale fingers through her hair before shaking her head and feeling her pockets for money.
"Did you order pizza?" she asks, her hands coming up with nothing but air.
She knows the answer before the taller one responds, because the sudden pause of her movements and the sheepish expression on her face speak volumes more than her actual reply of, "Maybe…?"
With that the artist promptly turns back to the delivery boy, just in time to catch him dragging his eyes back up from…wherever they were staring. A shudder threatens to wrack her frame. "How much am I paying?" Seulgi manages to smile politely as she takes the box, eager to close the door as soon as possible but refraining in the name of securing Soojung's pizza first.
“It was paid online already," the boy speaks up, scratching some stubble on his chin. "But for a hottie like you?" He gives her a lopsided smirk that's probably supposed to come off as charming. "I'll take any extra reward you're giving."
Seulgi stares at him, feeling a prickling along the hairs on the back of her neck as she shifts uncomfortably. “U-Um —"
There's a breath of warmth at her ear before a familiar hand slips around her waist, and all of a sudden Soojung's poking her head past the door with a glower that could simultaneously incinerate the place and freeze the entire hallway for months. A single coin is flicked just past his head, and the architecture student sidles Seulgi out of view a little more as she eyes him witheringly. "There's ten won. Thanks for the pizza."
The sounds of protest start just as Soojung shuts the door in his face, and Seulgi can only bite her lip as the taller girl steers her into the kitchen with a disgruntled scowl.
"Teach me how to play that dumb rhythm tapping game," she demands lightly as Seulgi sets the food down on the counter.
"Don't you want to eat first?" The aroma of grilled meats on cheese and a soft bread base fills the apartment, and Seulgi knows she hears Soojung's stomach grumble even as the girl shakes her head.
"I don't feel hungry anymore."
Stubborn. "Well I'm hungry, so eat with me." Soojung just continues glaring at the door as if she could still sense the sleazy pizza guy behind it. "Soojung–ah."
She turns to gaze at Seulgi for a long moment then, brows furrowed slightly and eyes still maintaining their sharpness from before. The older brunette just stares back expectantly, because it doesn't intimidate her like it used to — when a single look from Soojung would cause her to shrink back and dissolve into a mess of stuttering and stammering in front of the girl.
(Which really didn't help when she actually developed a crush on her, but here they are.)
"Fine," Soojung finally acquiesces after a long moment, stepping towards the artist with a grumble. "Feed me."
Seulgi fakes a dramatic sigh as she picks up a slice with a slight smile. "As you wish, my lady," she says, grinning at the rolled eyes shot her way before Soojung takes a bite. “Good?"
“Not sure. Need another taste."
"Spoiled brat,” she chuckles.
“Pillow princess," her girlfriend retorts with a smirk, and Seulgi can only blush and stammer out a quiet, "Untrue…"
She’s quick to steal a mouthful for herself in retaliation and hands a scandalised Soojung the rest of the slice afterwards, making a show of her lips before biting back her laughter as the taller girl almost puts the pizza on her cheek instead of in . When she does manage to succeed it’s with a hearty chomp into the slice like she’s trying to prove a point, and Seulgi proceeds to murmur a “Cute…” that has her covering and turning away with a grumble.
"You're pretty when you're annoyed,” the smaller brunette says offhandedly as they settle against the counters opposite each other, and Soojung gazes at her for a second before swallowing.
“You should see me when I’m beautiful, then," she responds loftily, and the shorter one hums.
“You’re always beautiful to me."
This time Soojung visibly falters and a bit of pepperoni drops to the floor — and yep, Seulgi's won this time.
“You —“ the younger brunette splutters, slice of pizza halfway to as she gapes at her girlfriend. Seulgi just gives her a corny wink as she braces her hands behind her on the countertop, and Soojung half–scoffs, half–laughs with disbelief as she kicks at her calf lightly. “Just help me eat the pizza. I can’t finish all of this by myself."
"Are you sure about that?" Seulgi replies automatically.
Soojung throws her a narrow–eyed look over her food. "What exactly are you trying to say, Kang?"
"Nothing," she answers quickly. Soojung goes to swat at her arm anyway, but she's fast enough to try and dodge her attack this time. Then the whole affair briefly turns into a food fight once the older brunette flicks a piece of crust at her, until a few minutes later when both parties finally agree on a ceasefire, once a string of cheese ends up on Seulgi's nose.
("When I thought it wasn't possible, you got even cheesier," Soojung says when she picks it up and tosses it into the bin, bumping her hip lightly as she does. Seulgi steals yet another bite from the pizza in her girlfriend's hand in return, and yelps when it earns her a pinch to the .)
"You taste of pizza now," Soojung remarks after they clean up, drying her hands on a dishcloth before sweeping her hair into a loose ponytail.
Seulgi her head in confusion as she follows her over to their little study area in the main room. "How do you know that?"
The taller one promptly stops, turns around, and leans down to kiss her until their lungs call for air. Seulgi squeezes her hand tight when they part, wondering when exactly she grabbed hold of it as her face heats with the same pink blossoming on Soojung's cheeks.
"Oh," is all the former can say. "You're right."
"I am,” the taller one replies knowingly, but her blush takes away some of the triumphant confidence to her words.
"Shouldn't you have said that after kissing me?” Seulgi remarks as she’s tugged forward towards the coffee table, and Soojung shrugs.
"It gave me an excuse to kiss you."
The art major stands there a moment just to give her a puzzled look that Soojung returns with a raised eyebrow. Then a beat later she snorts, her laughter bubbling up uncontrollably as she sees the raven–haired girl frowning up at her quizzically. "You don't need an excuse to kiss me, Jungie. I'm your girlfriend."
The blush comes back full force as Soojung presses her lips together and nods. "Noted."
"And correction: we taste of pizza now,” Seulgi adds as she resumes her seat next to her.
"Save your corrections for your work," the taller one says with a nudge to her arm and a hint of a smile. "Break time's over and you need to actually start studying."
“Doodungie…"
"No." Seulgi whines as she's prodded in the stomach with the blunt end of a pen. "You called me over to help you study, and so far I'm the only one who's done anything productive."
"You made like, five review cards."
"You got halfway through one."
"Ugh." The artist flops back against the couch for a moment with a heavy pout, waiting for a few seconds before peeking open one eye to spot any signs of remorse in her girlfriend’s expression. All she gets is an unwavering stare, and she sighs deeply before sitting up. "Okay, fine. I'll work."
Soojung blinks. “Wait, you will?"
"I will,” Seulgi reiterates with an adamant wag of her finger. "If you reward me with kisses."
A pair of hands immediately come up to hold her face as her girlfriend leans in and squishes her cheeks with a flat look. "You're impossible."
She just grins widely. "Aren't you the one who once said nothing in this world is free?"
"That's Vic–unnie's philosophy, I just stole it off her."
“Milady! How dishonourable of you!"
The horribly faked gasp has Soojung scoffing, letting go of her with an equally horrible attempt at suppressing a smile as she turns to pick up her pen and arrange her sheets. "Be quiet and start studying Kang Seulgi, or I will leave."
“You wouldn’t,” the artist coos, but goes silent with a mimed mouth-zipping motion when she garners a warning glance. Being the dutiful girlfriend and art student that she is, she immediately sets on cracking open a tome on the Renaissance era, pen and paper in hand ready to write notes. Except it’s only a handful of minutes and half a page later that she feels her concentration slipping. Though at least this time she can safely say it’s not her fault.
A single glance up confirms her suspicions as she catches Soojung watching her with an unreadable expression on her face — caught between intent focus and mild curiosity as she presses her lips into a thin line in her daze.
Seulgi just blushes and looks away; because that's what you would normally do if you had a Jung Soojung staring at you.
"I thought you were supposed to be studying, too,” she says when she fails to return her attention to her own work, and the taller girl blinks a couple of times before frowning slightly.
“Pardon?"
“…You were staring again."
She only looks vaguely embarrassed, but her eyes don't leave Seulgi's form regardless. “I like watching you work."
"Oh." The artist opens , closes it, then settles for, "Okay."
Soojung stares on, and Seulgi her lips nervously before turning back to the textbook she's supposed to be picking apart. Another few seconds are spent in silence as her teeth catch and pull on her bottom lip, the words and images in front of her transforming into gibberish on the page as she finds herself acutely aware of her girlfriend's intense gaze. She fiddles with her pen to distract herself, spinning it once, twice, before dropping it as Soojung moves suddenly and brushes their legs together with the movement.
"How do you do that?"
Seulgi jolts slightly and glances up at her, noticing the slight flush of her cheeks and the familiar purse of her lips. It's a particular look of hers that's she's been sporting a lot lately, one that the older girl has recently dubbed as the 'I spoke without realising and you weren't supposed to hear it' face.
"Do what?" she asks after a while, setting aside her pen because really, what's the point if there's someone like Soojung sitting right in front of you?
Said girl averts her gaze then, mouth opening only for silence to fall out as she drums her fingers against the coffee table. She looks like she'd rather not have said anything, so Seulgi decides to spare her the worry.
"Pen-spinning?"
It earns her a surprised look that clumsily shifts into a way too enthusiastic nod. "Yeah. That." She seems to relax a little, and her hand stops tapping. "Pen-spinning."
"My brother did it a lot back when he was in high school," Seulgi explains with ease, absently twirling the biro between her fingers. "I guess I learned from watching him do it at home."
A nod answers her as the taller brunette continues monitoring her hand intently. "It's cool.”
The bemused look that Seulgi gives her goes unseen, and when she finally puts the pen down Soojung quirks an eyebrow at her.
“…What?"
She leans back and crosses her arms. “Well, since you're not studying, I won't study either."
Her arm gets poked in response. "That's not how this works."
"It is now," she grins, meeting Soojung's answering glare with a fond look before giggling. Her girlfriend's expression softens in an instant as she shifts and kneels up slightly before leaning in, planting a kiss against her temple before being pulled down to kiss her properly.
"You know we're never going to get anything done like this, right?" Soojung mumbles when they part from the first one, and Seulgi just smiles into the second.
"That's why I invited you over,” she utters afterwards, pulling away a small distance and chuckling when it elicits a whine of disapproval.
“What a terrible idea,” the younger one mutters, leaning in for the third.
The artist hums as she cards her fingers gently through dark chocolate tresses. "I'm full of terrible ideas."
Soojung presses their foreheads together before melting into the fourth. "I know."
When they stop again minutes later its with heavier breaths and darker eyes, and Seulgi can only laugh as she tries to smooth the mess her hands have made in her girlfriend’s hair, all while the latter lets her eyes slide shut contentedly at her touch, akin to a feline being groomed.
"We're really not gonna get much work done tonight, are we?” Seulgi eventually comments, brushing the last stray lock from the taller girl’s forehead.
"I wonder whose fault that is,” Soojung deadpans lightly.
"Yours, of course," Seulgi chirps back. "Distracting me with your Soojung–ness, and all."
It earns her a wicked smile and a thoughtful hum. "Trust me — if I were distracting you, we wouldn’t be talking like this right now."
"Good point,” she laughs a little bashfully, fiddling with her hair as the memories of previous successful distractions clamour to the forefront of her brain. Then the largely unfinished mountain of work on the table catches her attention, and she grimaces. “…Jung-ah…Am I really distracting you from your work?"
Soojung raises her eyebrows, leaning lazily and smirking as Seulgi visibly swallows. "What do you think?"
The moment lingers with the flicker of her gaze darting down to full, rosy lips, and it’s only when she meets the mischievous spark in her girlfriend’s stare that she gathers the strength to make herself lean back and breathe in.
“D-Do you want me to quiz you, then?” she manages, reaching for the small pile of review cards on the table.
“Do you want to quiz me?” Soojung simpers, pulling her knees up to her chest and folding her arms on top before leaning her head idly against them.
“I’ll take that as a yes." Seulgi worries her lip as she watches her girlfriend’s attentive gaze grow earnest, and the air between them slips into something static and familiar in the way that it makes it both supremely difficult and impossibly easy for her to breathe. It’s happened several times already, and she’s only just figuring out what it means because it’s within a whole new level of things that she knows she’s felt before. So she pulls herself together like every other instance prior, plucking out a random flash card from the pile with all the dignity she can muster before reading it out clearly. "Describe the concept of Structuralism."
"I love you."
It takes a second for the statement to process, but her eyes widen as soon as it does as she turns to her girlfriend, opening and closing several times before spluttering, "That's not the answer."
Soojung just keeps on staring at her with that disarming warmth in her eyes, and it takes all of Seulgi's fragile willpower to focus on what she just said, rather than how she's looking at her.
Mijoo picks that time to come knocking and calling at the door about borrowing some milk and Seulgi can't tell whether it's good or bad timing, but it's something to occupy her overloaded brain with when she gets up and grabs it like the dutiful neighbour she is, greeting her with a strained smile.
"Hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Mijoo grins, winking surreptitiously at her as she takes the carton from her hands.
If it was possible for her face to turn any more red, Seulgi's pretty sure she would have fainted from overheating by now. "That was one time, Mijoo,” she stresses, remembering the sheer embarrassment of having her friend casually comment on her fresh hickeys, hastily buttoned shirt, and ped jeans before asking for some orange juice.
"Two times, actually," her fellow dance society member says matter–of–factly, unscrewing the cap of the milk carton and sniffing it cautiously. "And a third time, if you count that phone call which I totally know was bad timing, I could tell by how out of breath you were —"
"Okay, I take it you only wanted milk? So, I'll see you in class tomorrow then, bye!"
The door just about falls short of slamming shut in Mijoo's face, and Seulgi swears she hears a cackle from the hallway before her neighbour's door clicks closed.
A sigh leaves her as she shakes her head, before returning to what was interrupted moments before. She glances back, sees her girlfriend sitting still at the coffee table with her back turns to her, and tries to calm her staccato heartbeat.
Come on, Kang. It's Soojung.
She takes a step forward.
Soojung, who just said —
Another step.
…Oh my God.
By some miracle she manages to make her way back without tripping over something or going into shock, but Soojung doesn't look at her when she sits down beside her, and it’s kind of sort of not helping the hurricane of thoughts erupting in Seulgi’s brain. Between that and the incessant drumming in her chest, she doesn't know where to start.
So eventually, Soojung does.
"Mijoo ran out of milk again?"
Seulgi manages not to break her neck as her head shoots up and her eyes fix on her girlfriend, her expression falling at the stark difference between the Soojung that looked at her so softly before and the Soojung that can’t even meet her eyes now. The difference of a mere few minutes without an answer.
“Y-Yeah,” Seulgi mumbles, drawing in a deep breath as she watches her girlfriend lift her gaze to level at the small television across from them. “Listen, Soojung —."
“Seulgi, I —“ The architect exhales sharply, and something about it makes her want to just reach out and hold her, but her body just doesn’t respond. "I’m not expecting you to say it back. It just came out and —“ The lines of light dancing in her eyes are mesmerising from where Seulgi sits, and Soojung doesn’t seem to notice when she leans in. "I guess I just wanted you to know. Even though it’s out of the blue, and —"
"I love you too.”
Her answer sits in the air for a good few seconds as Soojung finally looks at her and registers just how close she’s gotten. Then Seulgi is treated to the endearing sight of her embarrassed girlfriend stumbling over her words for another moment before settling on a breathless, “What?”
She closes the rest of the short distance between them first, holding her with a single, furtive hand on her jaw and sliding it down to cup the back of her neck carefully as she kisses her cheek afterwards, followed by her nose, her forehead, and back down to her lips again to linger there with a murmured, "I love you."
Soojung takes a deep breath, eyes fluttering and fingers clutching tightly at Seulgi’s sleeve as she tries to speak. “Oh,” she manages eventually. “…Good."
Seulgi tilts her head. "Just 'good'?"
"Well it's not like I was expecting much, when all you said was ‘That’s not the right answer’."
It’s a childish grumble that would normally have her laughing in return, but this time Seulgi bites her lip as the guilt wrenches at her gut. "I'm sorry,” she whispers, reaching forward and tucking away a lock of hair behind her girlfriend’s ear. "I panicked and went completely blank."
An affectionate sigh and the exasperated smile that accompanies it lets her know she’s forgiven already. “You’re so lame," Soojung mumbles then, reaching out to embrace her.
That pulls a sunny smile onto her lips as she pulls her close. “Just for the record, I was hoping to say it first.” The taller brunette gives an inquisitive hum, and Seulgi squeezes her waist gently. “At the right time, I mean. Maybe while looking at a really pretty piece in an art gallery, or over dinner downtown. You kind of ruined my plans."
Soojung holds her a little tighter, muffling a breath of laughter into the collar of the older girl's sweater. "Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry,” she giggles, tracing patterns along her spine and nuzzling her neck when she shivers. She’s reluctant to draw back and Soojung lets go first, keeping near and regarding her all the while as if she still can’t really process everything. Seulgi stares back and knows she probably bears the same expression, and decides to make sure neither of them wear it for much longer. “Did I scare you?” she asks in the silence, lifting the taller brunette’s legs onto her lap and tapping absently against them.
"Of course you did.” A single lull lingers as Soojung settles into the couch, looking at her like she’s taking her in for the first time. She leans her head idly against the back of the couch for a long pause before speaking again. “I'm terrified of you, you know."
Her fingers stop tapping as she rests them against her girlfriend’s legs. "Terrified?"
Soojung nods just once. "Because you're different,” she replies, dropping her gaze to watch her stilled hands. "You've always been different, and I've always been the kind of person who didn’t have to worry about whether or not her boyfriend or girlfriend felt the same way."
That garners a thoughtful, hopeful look. "Would it help if I kept telling you, from now on?"
She smiles softly. “That would be pointless if I already know it.”
“But reminders never hurt,” Seulgi insists, taking her hand with a smile. “Like this.” She presses a kiss to her palm and lights up when Soojung squirms and tries to stifle the automatic giggle. “I love you.” She draws closer and brushes their lips together. “I love you.” Her ascent finishes with a last kiss to the crown of her head “I love you."
Soojung finds herself clutching her girlfriend's sweater tightly by the end of it. “Lame,” she smiles.
Seulgi grins at her. “You love it.”
She hums. “I love you.”
It sets off another round of incessant confessions on Seulgi’s part, paired with littered kisses to her face until she’s wrestled to cushions with an adamant Soojung above her. She’s swiftly silenced with soft lips uttering complaints about "overdoing it" and calling the whole thing “pointless” over and over again, in between saying it back and laughing when the artist manages to free her hands to fight back.
Mijoo complains about the ruckus the following morning, presenting Seulgi a half-full carton of milk at the door and snickering at the red marks exposed at the edges of her hastily pulled on shirt. The icing on the cake is when her neighbour shoots a thumbs up at her girlfriend when she spots her passing by the kitchenette, and Soojung proceeds to come up and retrieve the milk with a jovial greeting on her tongue and Seulgi’s sweater pulled on the wrong way around.
Seulgi doesn't stop telling her after that, and Soojung doesn’t stop smiling at her when she does.
She plans on keeping it that way.
Mijoo is all of us.
Also this got so much fluffier than intended, and maybe it's more OOC than intended too, possibly because I haven't betaed it. But it is fanfic. So. Have a guess at what songs the story title and chapter title are from?
Comments