“Dear all,” Jaehwan said in an authoritative tone, “thank you for coming. What we are going to discuss today is a very sensitive, very important issue.” He tipped his chin up and took a deep breath before announcing, “The reason why we are here… is that I am irresistible.”

He heard dismissive snorts coming from the couch, and a quiet, “Yeah.”

Five heads turned towards Wonshik whose eyes turned wide, colour rising on his cheeks.

“I-I mean,” he stammered, “he’s cute, isn’t he?”

“I am cute,” Jaehwan agreed, clasping his hands together in front of him. “And I am also insanely good-looking and extremely y, and that has become a problem.”

“Ugh, I have no time for this bull,” Taekwoon murmured and then wanted to stand up, but as his left the seat, Jaehwan commanded, “Hyung, sit.”

Taekwoon's eyebrows ran up on his forehead and so did Hakyeon's while Wonshik looked like he was struck by lightning, and Hongbin and Sanghyuk started laughing obnoxiously.

“Excuse me?” Taekwoon asked, straightening up.

“Leave him,” Hakyeon said and reached up to grab Taekwoon's arm and pull him back down on the couch. Hakyeon turned to Jaehwan again. “Go on, Jaehwanie.”

Jaehwan cleared his throat.

“Yes,” he said. “As I’ve said, you guys just can’t ignore my charms and seem to have become smitten with me recently.”

“Smitten!” Hongbin cried. “We’re all guys!”

“Narrow-minded,” Wonshik said, disguising it as a series of coughs.

“And you’re gay,” Hongbin shot back.

“And what if he is?” Sanghyuk shrugged.

“Yeah, what if I am?” Wonshik replied, the flush deepening on his cheeks.

“Are you gay?” Hakyeon asked casually like a researcher who is trying to gather information on his surroundings.

“Hey, I’m trying to give a presentation here!” Jaehwan yelled and everyone looked back at him again, Taekwoon rolling his eyes so hard Jaehwan feared they might fall out of their socket. “You can ask questions at the end.”

“Can you just get to the point?” Taekwoon whined.

“The point is that I feel uncomfortable because of you guys looking at me with heart-eyes all the time and this has to end as soon as possible,” Jaehwan said.

There was silence for a few moments, but then Hakyeon said, “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about this,” Jaehwan reached between his thighs and massaged the right one, becoming annoyed, “and this,” he slapped his own , “and this,” he started fiddling with his own ear, “and this,” now he started pinching the skin of his neck, “and petting me and hugging me from behind and picking me up like I’m the female lead of some sort of ty romance movie, but I can’t show you that.”

Jaehwan huffed. Judging from their mildly amused expressions, the others were apparently taking it as a joke, most probably as one of those cute and silly little things Jaehwan did, and Jaehwan looked up at the ceiling, trying to think of the point in his life where his credibility all fell out of his hands. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a baby or a person you want to— you know. And especially you, Sanghyuk, if you whisper into my ears like that again and then become all smug and proud of making me hard, I’m going to cut your tongue out.”

“He did what?!” Wonshik spluttered, voice going up in pitch.

“And you!” Jaehwan pointed at Wonshik who recoiled like he thought Jaehwan would curse him. “If you try to kiss me again, I’m going to kick you in the face.” His face felt hot when he saw Sanghyuk's frown from the corner of his eye.

“Oh my God,” Hongbin groaned, fingers curling on his thighs from cringing.

“You stop stealing my clothes, Hongbin, I saw you smelling my white turtleneck and it was creepy as hell!”

“I never—”

“Who’s gay now,” Wonshik mumbled and Hongbin glared at him from the other end of the couch.

“You, Jung Taekwoon,” Jaehwan went on, “stop shoving food down my throat, I’m not a baby and I’m not your wife to try whatever you cook; your cooking always tastes the same and I’ll eat it without you forcing it into my mouth, anyway.”

Taekwoon opened his mouth, but before he could have said anything, Sanghyuk started snickering.

“Force it into his mouth,” he giggled.

“For God’s sake, Sanghyuk,” Hakyeon sighed, “you’re almost twenty-two, grow up already.”

“Hyung,” Jaehwan said and Hakyeon cocked an eyebrow at him. “I wish you would just sleep in your own bedroom when you’re feeling sappy, because it’s not much fun waking up with your morning wood up my .”

Sanghyuk choked on air, the remnants of his giggles stopping halfway out of his body while Wonshik gasped in sync with Hongbin. Hakyeon looked like someone poured hot water over his head and Jaehwan was almost surprised his face didn’t start emanating steam.

“Now then,” Jaehwan said, feeling the warmth creep down from his face onto his neck, almost like fever. “Can we just agree that you guys will stop fawning over me?”

There was silence for a few beats, the members staring at Jaehwan and Jaehwan staring back at each of them.

“I maintain my opinion that this is bull,” Taekwoon declared and strolled out of the living room.

“Nonsense,” Hongbin mumbled, though he was still blushing as he followed Taekwoon.

“Too easy,” Sanghyuk sighed and left the scene.

“You know, Jaehwan,” Hakyeon said, and he looked like he would cry any moment, “I feel hurt.”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes, but Hakyeon was already heading to his bedroom, so he couldn’t see it.

The only one left was Wonshik who was blinking fast, nails scraping the material of his jeans on his thighs. His expression said he would puke from embarrassment as soon as he left the living room, but he still glanced up at Jaehwan.

“I just wanted to say—”

“Oh, shut up!” Jaehwan yelled, and strode into his bedroom, slamming the door shut.