Two warm bodies embraced neatly beneath two layers of blankets, their flesh pressed against each other comfortably. The familiar scent of Lu Han was strong and inviting, and Minseok couldn’t help but press a kiss against the other man’s shoulder, the warmth of that skin lingering on his lips before he nuzzled even closer. He was happy and content, but there was something at the back of his mind that made him question this moment.

“Are you warm enough?” Lu Han asked, moving away slightly so he could change his position. He wanted to look at Minseok more directly. He wanted to stare into the face of the man he adored.

Minseok’s lips curved up into a delicate smile, in awe of how breathtakingly beautiful Lu Han was. He was always so beautiful, no matter the time of day. Even when Lu Han was tired, he still glowed in a way that made Minseok just the tiniest bit jealous. How could anyone be so good looking at all hours of the day? A short nod was his reply before his lips found their way to Lu Han’s to steal a swift kiss. He just wanted to taste him, even if it was a brief contact.

Lu Han let out an amused noise, his hands feeling their way to Minseok’s waist, fingers enjoying the smoothness of the other man’s shape and how firm the musculature of his form was. All those hours in the gym had paid off well.

“I miss you,” Minseok said quietly, the statement sounding curious to his ears. He wasn’t entirely certain as to how he could miss someone who was clearly before him, holding him close, yet he felt a sadness bubbling from within himself. “I miss you a lot.”

At first, there was a sliver of confusion testing the serenity of Lu Han’s beautiful face, but it softened and glowed sweetly in the dim moonlight that filtered in through the window. “I miss you, too,” he said after a long pause.

Minseok almost asked why he left, why he had to leave, but there was no need to. He knew why Lu Han had left. It hurt knowing it. Their last night together had been so magical, tarnished by the knowledge that Lu Han would be gone the next morning and he would be alone.

He had been alone. He had felt so alone. He was directionless without Lu Han there to prompt him. Lu Han was a guiding light for him, and the world around him had grown dark once Lu Han’s light had faded.

“But you’re better now, aren’t you?” Lu Han’s voice pulled Minseok back into the moment. There was an unnerving calm to the beautiful man’s voice. The maturity of its tone was unsettling, but Minseok still couldn’t figure out why everything seemed so wrong. He was enveloped in the warmth of the man he loved most in the world, so why was he feeling like this wasn’t real?

The gap between the question and the answer was a wide chasm. A trembling breath was in and out as Minseok hugged himself tighter to Lu Han’s body. “I’m better, yeah,” was the response, slow and hesitant and shaking. Why was he trembling? Was it the winter air getting to him?

“I’m glad.” Lu Han’s smile was gentle and soft, just as Minseok remembered it always being. “I was so worried that you would be trapped in the memories of me. I didn’t want to hurt you like that, and I’m truly sorry.”

“You were the only person who believed in me,” Minseok’s words came out tinted with bitterness. “You promised to be by my side – that you would always be there for me – then you left. It was hard when you left.”

“I know it was,” Lu Han said in a small voice.

“You left and I could only give people fake smiles. I felt empty and directionless and useless, like my existence was redundant--”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t know!” Minseok’s voice cracked against the walls.

Lu Han’s eyes went wide but he didn’t pull away. “You’re right,” he said quietly, “I don’t know. I can only imagine how difficult it was for you, but I was never the only person there supporting you. You realize that now, don’t you? You were relying on me, but everyone around you was with you, supporting you. That’s why you’re better now, isn’t it?”

The world seemed oddly still as Lu Han’s words hung thickly in the air. It was the truth. Lu Han was never the sole person supporting Minseok. Lu Han was always the best at boosting his self-esteem and giving him confidence, but without Lu Han near him, all of his friends had rallied their support around him, filling in the gap that Lu Han had left, and bolstering him even more than he had ever dreamed. With their help, he was finally moving on from his stagnant self who was pining away for a man who was now so far away.

“Minseok,” Lu Han spoke, breaking another long silence that had fallen between them, “I’m happy that you found someone else who you can love as much as I loved you. I was worried that you would be stuck in the past, yet you found a new happiness, didn’t you?”

The sound of Minseok’s voice hitching in his throat was like a final gasp before death. How did Lu Han know that? “I love him differently.”

“Love is silly like that, isn’t it? It’s always different.”

“Lu Han,” that trembling returned to Minseok’s voice, “I love you. I always will.”

“I know,” was the simple reply. “I love you, too, Minseok. I want you to be happy forever. Please, seek out all the happiness you can, even though I’m gone.”

Minseok closed his eyes tightly, feeling tears sting against them. His fingers tingled and he kept himself as close to that warm body as he could, mumbling indecipherable words into that soft skin as he pressed desperate kisses against the flesh. He was crying so quietly, yet he barely heard his name as it flitted into his ears gently. “Minseok? Are you okay?” The sound of rushing water pressed fiercely against his ears before it abruptly stopped and the clear tone spoke his name again, “Minseok?”

“I’m fine,” he responded in a voice that didn’t sound fine. Minseok’s eyes opened again, blurry from tears. His was still clinging to the warm body that was next to him in the bed, his hands trembling slightly.

The young man next to him had a look of concern in his expression, and his gentle hands delicately massaged Minseok’s bare shoulder, comforting him. “You don’t sound fine.”

“I’m fine,” Minseok repeated with a little more confidence. “I’ll be fine, Jongdae. Painful dreams are still only dreams.” He shrugged Jongdae’s hand from his shoulder, which made the younger man frown deeply. A beat of silence passed before Minseok leaned closer to Jongdae, leaving a gentle kiss against the young man’s chin. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Jongdae asked, lifting an eyebrow curiously.

“For being you.”

“I’m always me.” Jongdae continued to stare at Minseok with worry. “Are you sure you’re okay? You were crying and mumbling in your sleep. That’s not normal for you.”

“I’m okay now,” the older man said, moving his lips to Jongdae’s. The kiss was quick, broken by Minseok’s words breathing lightly against Jongdae’s mouth. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Jongdae said instinctively before letting free a laugh and pulling away, “just don’t cry in your sleep anymore, okay? I want you to be happy.”

“You do make me happy,” Minseok said quickly.

Sitting up, Jongdae’s laughter continued to echo against the walls of their room, “Then let’s start the day so I can make you even happier! Does that sound like a good idea?”

Minseok nodded, a grin replacing what had before been a somber frown. His hands wiped away whatever remains of his tears were still against his cheeks and eyes, wanting to start the day looking like he hadn’t had a bittersweet dream involving his former lover. A former lover whom he was still madly in love with. Rising from the bed and allowing his feet to feel the cool of the floor, he watched as Jongdae’s body walked to the wardrobe in search of something decent to put on. Minseok smiled as he admired the curves of that body that wasn’t Lu Han’s. I’m going to be fine, he thought as he watched Jongdae go about his morning routine. A thought jolted him and he sent Jongdae a crooked smirk, “Oh, I almost forgot something, Jongdae.”

“Hm?”

“I forgot to say ‘good morning’ to you!” A small giggle punctuated Minseok’s words before he continued, “Good morning, Jongdae!”

Again, laughter surged from Jongdae’s voice, but it felt truer and freer than before. “Good morning, Minseok! Let’s have another happy day together.”