"Another round, please."

Detective Lee Hyuk sat alone in front of the bartender, patiently waiting for his sixth bottle. He didn't usually drink this much, but the occasion seemed to call for it. Besides, tomorrow was a Saturday. He had every right to lose his mind -- even if it's just for a while. 

Beside him were a bowl of eggs and some shells. The bartender found this especially weird but chose to let it go, clueless to the Detective's preference of eating hard-boiled eggs while he drank. Unfortunately, they were not as well-cooked as he hoped they'd be. Since he had no choice, he had to eat them up, despite the fact that he could suffer from a stomach ache.

Anything to distract him.

Another man had come and sat beside him, ordering a bottle of Soju, but Lee Hyuk did not pay any attention to him. Instead, he grabbed the new bottle the bartender handed and started drinking. 

"I'll have what he's drinking," said the stranger.

Hyuk glanced at the man who sat beside him, but chose to direct his eyes back to the bartender's lights. His lips touched the bottle as he welcomed another round of alcohol.

What am I doing? Why do I feel as if I'm in the wrong? he asked himself.

"Rough night?"

The stranger finally had his bottle and started drinking. 

Sober, Hyuk was not usually the chit-chatty type, especially to those he didn't know. But he's already had five bottles and the one he was drinking was his sixth one. Hyuk wasn't in his right mind anyway, might as well talk to someone.

"More like a rough week," he answered.

"Mind if I have one of those eggs?"

"Sure, but it's not well-cooked."

The man reached for the bowl and took one. "Shouldn't be a problem," he answered. He held the egg tightly in his hands and was watching Hyuk with such interest.

"Judging from the bottles you've had, I can only guess you're having one of two troubles: it's either career or woman-related," he continued, "I'm going on a limb here to guess."

"Be my guest."

The stranger took a while before speaking. "Girl problem."

Lee Hyuk heaved a sigh as he took another sip from his bottle, recounting the previous days.

[ 1 WEEK AGO ]

Kim Sun Hee's lips were planted firmly on his and he couldn't make any sense out of it. 

Part of him screamed that he should get out of that situation, that it wasn't right. She was under his caring and, while it was never explicitly said in the rule book, he knew they should not be doing this. 

He didn't know what drove the actress to kiss him (or at least, that's what he thought).

It took a full minute before Kim Sun Hee pulled away from him, looking very much dazed and surprised with herself. He, on the other hand, just looked dazed (at least, that's what he hoped).

It had been his first kiss after two years. 

The sound of car horn broke their reveries, causing Sun Hee to suddenly step on the gas and drive while Hyuk just sat there. 

What in the world just happened?

He couldn't quite get his head to wrap around the tiny scenario. Kim Sun Hee, the actress, just kissed him.

She didn't say anything either. She just kept her eyes on the road. Part of Hyuk wanted her not to explain or to utter a word; God knows what she could say. But there was one side of him wanting to know why she did what she did (but it was pretty obvious already).

Sun Hee was always brazen, but he didn't think she was that brazen.

"I...must've drunk too much."

She said that as she made another right. It was then Hyuk realized that he didn't know where she was driving towards. He remembered that he had to return to the station. 

"I need to go back to the station," was his reply. 

"Wait, so she kissed you?!"

Hyuk was startled with the stranger's sudden exclamation. He was drunk, but he could still feel the agitation. The man was holding his beer bottle tightly, his eyes lit in surprise and "Is that alarm?" It took the stranger a second to realize his actions. He looked at his tight grip on the bottle then at Hyuk.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, "I'm a bit drunk already, I guess."

"With one bottle? Geez."

"Okay, so, you had to go back to the station?" asked the man.

[ 1 WEEK AGO ]

Sun Hee just looked at him as she parked the car in front of the station. Hyuk insisted that she drive the car back to her apartment so she can go home and he'll just drive it back to the station, but she insisted on driving him, saying that he suffered worst injuries. 

"In fact, I don't think we should be here," she was saying, "Shouldn't I bring you to a hospital?"

"No, there's no need," he said, "There's a clinic inside. I can get myself patched up. Are you sure you don't want me to drive you?"

She was already texting on her phone.

"Nah, I'll be fine," she said.

"But your feet."

"Well, have you seen yourself? You look worse."

He checked himself out in the rearview mirror and shrugged. "I've had worse." There was a scratch on his chin, which perfectly complemented the cut on his lip. He was also covered in dirt, some bruises -- the usual haul of a night out. 

Seconds later, he felt the uncomfortable silence. 

He noticed that Sun Hee was still staring at him, her lips trembling, almost as if she wanted to say something. He was sure that she wanted to say something. To be honest, he had a lot of things he wanted to say to.

The first of them being: "What the hell just happened?"

"I'll just wait for Jin Hae to come before I leave," she said, breaking the ice, "Is it okay if I stay here? My feet hurt."

"Are you sure you don't want to come in the station? I can fix that."

"No, you should fix yourself first."

Another silence.

Hyuk, you've got to say something. You know this is not anything. This woman just kissed you, he was telling himself, But then again, she could be drunk. That's it. Maybe she did it cause she's drunk. That's the only logical explanation.

"So...I kissed you, huh?"

She was still staring ahead, dead eyes and all. The actress then looked at him.

"Miss Sun Hee," he began, "I think both you and me are too tired to discuss this. I don't want to take advantage of you while you're in this state." In his head, he knew he sounded way too formal, but he didn't know what to say. In fact, he didn't even know what to feel. He had a lot of feelings during that moment, but having the emotional range of a teaspoon, he wasn't good with sorting them.

"You always call me Miss Sun Hee," she remarked, smiling, "For once, I wish you would just call me Sun Hee."

The clueless detective was left stunned again with her bold remarks. He didn't know if Kim Sun Hee was like this when drunk -- a variety of emotions. She started off as fine, then brazen, then delirious, and now, she acted like she was sober. He couldn't miss that tone in her voice, that longing tone that said she meant what she said. 

He hated the awkward silences that followed. 

"Why didn't you say anything?"

His new drinking buddy was peeling off one of the eggs (Hey, how come he got a cooked one? I always ended up with the less than hard boiled eggs, thought Hyuk).

The detective then finished his sixth bottle and smacked his lips. 

"I didn't know what to say," he answered, signalling the bartender for another round. 

"I don't believe that."

Hyuk lazily glanced at the stranger who peeled off all the shells and took a bite of the egg, chewing thoughtfully. The man glanced back at him with a knowing look. 

"I think you knew what to say," said his drinking buddy, "You just didn't know how to say it."

[ 1 WEEK AGO ]

He was about to open his mouth when another car parked beside them. He recognized the familiar figure of Sun Hee's friend, Jin Hae, who was already texting on her phone. Sure enough, the actress received the message and smiled. She didn't say much as she texted, probably telling her friend that she was inside the nearby car. Jin Hae then got out of her car and tapped at the passenger window, which Sun Hee rolled down.

"Oh god, what happened to you?" exclaimed Jin Hae, who also looked at the detective, "Detective Hyuk, are you okay?"

He nodded at her. "I'll be fine," he told her, "It'll help a lot if you help Miss Sun Hee out. She's had a wild night and she'll probably explain tomorrow when she's feeling better."

"Yeah, she does look like she had way too much fun," remarked the friend.

"I'll tell you all about it when I'm sober," replied the actress who opened the door. Jin Hae exclaimed when she saw her friend's bare feet, demanding an explanation. But the actress laughed it off, insisting that she will explain everything tomorrow. The rattled friend placed an arm around a stumbling Kim Sun Hee, who was babbling about buying new heels. Jin Hae bowed apologetically at Lee Hyuk, apologizing for her friend's behavior.

"No, it's alright," he said, "It's partly my fault."

"What?"

"As Miss Sun Hee said, she'll explain later."

Sun Hee wrapped an arm around her friend, smiling and assuring Jin Hae everything will be fine. As her clueless friend dragged her, the actress gave the detective one last look before she bid him a silent goodbye.

---

"Thank God you got it then."

DA Park beamed proudly at him as he handed the white USB from his pocket.

"Came with a price though," remarked the detective, commenting about his sores and scratches.

"But it's nothing you can't handle, Lee Hyuk," said DA Park, "Good job. We'll take a look at this tomorrow. Now, go and patch yourself up at the clinic. I think there's some gauze and antiseptic left."

Detective Lee nodded and excused himself from his superior's presence. He winced as he felt that bruise on his waist; even the cut on his lips was not helping one bit. He limped towards the clinic, greeting colleagues along the way. Once he got inside, he the lights, locked the door, and took off his shirt to assess the damage. 

As always, it was a bad combination of bruises and scratches. He took out the bandages, gauze, cotton swabs, and antiseptic. A minute later he got to work and treated his wounds. It was painful, but nothing Hyuk couldn't bear. Physical pain, he was a master of; emotions, however, was a different story altogether. 

He was a bit tipsy, but Hyuk could clearly remember Sun Hee's face when she kissed him. 

There was no denying that he felt something about it, but there was that part of him that couldn't believe nor accept it. As he tended to the scratch on his leg, he recalled how she mentioned his constant respect for her, how he always called her Miss Sun Hee instead of just her name. She had always been picking him on that, wondering why he couldn't just use her first name. 

He remembered how she laughed as they ran for their lives, delirious and almost as if she wasn't in danger. 

He remembered how she kissed him on the cheek, called him "Honey", and held his hand.

He remembered how she asked him to come back to her.

Hyuk opened the tap of the nearby sink and splashed water on his face.

"Why do you do this to me, Sun Hee?"

[ 5 DAYS AGO ] 

"But Hyuk has a more interesting love life now, Mother."

The poor detective almost choked on his spicy hot noodles, coughing the warm and spicy soup out of his system. His younger sister, Jae Eun, immediately handed him a glass of water as he coughed and wheezed. Their mother handed him a napkin as he glared at his hyung, who wore a triumphant and arrogant grin, sipping his noodles calmly.

It was one of those family weekends when Hyuk had time to spare to see his family. His mother was thrilled to have him back for dinner and not just call him to know how he was doing. It had been a month since he was home last, so his arrival was pretty much a big thing. 

How they ended up talking about his love life started with Ha Neul prodding Jae Eun's new love interest. Apparently, she had broken up with her second boyfriend and was now seeing a new guy ("We're not dating yet! We're just hanging out, geez!"). Their mother told the youngest off for being so swift with her love interests, insisting she's having more color than what her age is supposed to have.

That's when Ha Neul made the comment. 

"Oppa, have some more water."

He brushed off his sister's offer of a second glass, thumping his chest for air and glaring at his hyung. 

"What?" asked Ha Neul as he chewed, "Mom, look at him. He's glaring at me."

Their mother gave him an apprehensive look, silently telling off her eldest son for being so careless with his words. But he could also see his mom wondering about the sudden revelation.

"Wait, so Hyuk oppa is seeing someone?" asked Jae Eun, "Like a real girl?"

"Even better," replied Ha Neul, "He's seeing an actress."

There was another mini-commotion in the dining room as it was Jae Eun's turn to cough on her noodles, their mother's jaws to drop, and Hyuk dropped his spoon. 

"WHAT?" exclaimed Jae Eun, "Which actress? Choi Eun Bin? Han Jung Hae? Mizty?"

"Calm down, Little Sister. She's not a big-time actress yet," said Ha Neul, "But she's getting there. I dunno if you watched that detective drama before -- "

"Okay, let's stop this conversation now," said Hyuk.

"But why?"

"Yeah, why?"

Both his siblings stared at him with such interest, a noodle still dangling from his older brother's lips.

"Because I'm not dating anyone," he answered simply, "If there's anyone in this room who is not dating anyone, it's me."

"Tsk, as if," remarked Ha Neul.

"I mean it," argued Hyuk, "And I'd appreciate it if you stop telling these rumors. You're worst than the tabloids."

"It's not a rumor if it's true," said his hyung, "You've got the hots for the actress."

"Stop that."

"Mom, you should see the girl -- she's just...I can't even begin to describe how beautiful she is -- "

"Okay, nope, we are not talking about this -- "

"Like, she's a goddess or something!" exclaimed Ha Neul, causing Jae Eun to squeal in excitement, Hyuk to cover his hyung's face with his hands to stop him from talking, and Ha Neul dodging Hyuk's attacks. It was a familiar sight: Hyuk and Ha Neul arguing while Jae Eun pitches for one of them. 

"That's so cool!" exclaimed the youngest as the eldest finished his story (in between a chopstick fight with Hyuk), "I'd have an actress for a sister-in-law."

"No one's having a sister-in-law," retorted Hyuk.

"That's what they all say."

"Hyuk oppa finally has a heart!"

"Nope. Nope."

"A big heart, Jae Eunnie," remarked Ha Neul, pinching Hyuk's cheeks (who automatically pulled away as he tried to eat more noodles), "Bigger than we thought."

"That's good to hear," said their little sister, "Hyuk oppa deserves the extra love, especially after those girls hurt him." The 16-year old smiled at her second brother, who was too busy stuffing his face with noodles, "She must be really special if she managed to break his exterior."

--

That night, Hyuk had volunteered to do the dishes because 1) it's his turn and 2) he wanted some silence after the dinner expose. Ha Neul and Jae Eun were in the living room, busy playing another role-playing game (which involved a lot of guns, zombies, and cursing from his hyung). As he scrubbed the plate vigorously, his mother came in the kitchen, fixing up the leftovers.

They say that Hyuk's silence was a trademark of his mother. Ha Neul and Jae Eun's loudness came from their late father, who always liked to cause a ruckus through a string of jokes, petty remarks, and laughter. Hyuk and his mom were the quiet ones at home.

She hasn't said much when Ha Neul revealed Sun Hee's existence. All she did was laugh at her kids and give Hyuk meaningful looks. 

Now that they were alone, she might say something. 

"So, there is a girl?" she asked.

There we go.

Hyuk sighed as he dried a plate.

"Hyung was just messing around, Mom," he answered, "Don't believe him."

"But there is a girl?"

He knew his mother; it was useless to hide secrets from her. Instead of answering, he just zipped his mouth. 

"There is then," she concluded, wrapping up the leftover spicy noodles, "I'm glad."

"Mom," began Hyuk. He saw his mother staring at him with those loving eyes.

His mother had been his top support system during those horrible breakups he had to endure. Their shared silence gave them a stronger bond, meaning Hyuk need not say anything for his mom to understand. She already knew. He remembered how she hugged him tight when she saw the tears in his eyes after his second breakup.

She was also there when he swore that he'd never fall in love again. 

Yet here she was again. 

"You don't have to say anything," she told him, "I already know."

"Know what?"

She just smiled at him. "Son, don't be too cold, okay?" she said, "It's hard, but you never know."

"Mom?"

She placed the leftover food in her fridge. "It's never too late to start anew, Hyuk," she told him, "And she seems like an interesting girl. I would like to meet her someday."

Hyuk almost dropped the plate. 

"You know what they say, mothers do know what's best."

Hyuk did not hear this short advice from his drinking buddy. He was too busy staring at the man's hands, holding Hyuk's bowl of hard-boiled eggs. For some reason, his new friend managed to get his treats under his nose.

But he was too drunk to care.

The detective ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He already had eight bottles; he knew he should stop drinking, but he just couldn't. 

"You seem really troubled about it."

The stranger's eyes were nailed on his drowsy figure.

"Go figure," remarked Hyuk.

"I guess things weren't easy when you saw her again, huh?"

Hyuk chuckled as he held the bottle.

[2 DAYS AGO ]

It felt so weird to be back on the set. The last three days were spent at the station, trying to decipher the wellspring of information he got from Lee Sang Hyuk, the drug dealer/ gang leader, as well as point out leads and how they plan on operating. The station had to send other officers to protect Kim Sun Hee. 

Last night, his superiors told him it was time to return to the actress. 

They hadn't seen each other since that fateful night, so that day was pretty much a dread to the detective. But he knew better than to shed any hint of emotion. He didn't want to make things more complicated than they were. 

No, things are not complicated because nothing happened. Nothing. 

He sighed as he shoved his hands in his leather jacket, staring at the comings and goings in the set. The interns greeted him gleefuly, mentioning how he hadn't been very visible recently. He made small talk with the standby stylist (pretending to be a stylist gave him so much insight on the job, he could actually get the terms right already). 

Eventually, Kim Sun Hee came out of her dressing room, accompanied by the two rookie officers.

She was clearly annoyed with something. Her face, all scrunched up, looked at her phone while mumbled a lot. She glared at the two rookies, who cringed in fear. 

Hyuk couldn't help but smirk.

When she finally noticed his presence, that's when he gulped. 

He couldn't explain the look on the actress' face: she looked happy, but he knew there were underlying questions somewhere. Nonetheless, she maintained her happy bubble, smiling at the detective. 

"Took you long to come back," she told him. 

Took him a second later to reply. 

"Busy." 

She pouted at him, silently scolding him for having other priorities. As she loudly complained of how the rookies almost messed up her makeup, Hyuk couldn't get himself to be completely annoyed with her. 

He just couldn't.

--

"...we're trying to make your stalker talk more," Hyuk was saying, "Hopefully, we'll get something out of him."

Hyuk was bit annoyed at the memory of Go In Sung still refusing to talk about his boss, but the Grim Reaper of Violent Crimes wasn't going to let a stupid stalker out easily. Of course, he had to use more of his intimidation techniques. He had a good feeling that they will break In Sung soon; after all, he did somehow leave some clues. 

He hoped that would be of some comfort to the actress.

But there she was, busy staring at him as she sipped her iced coffee. 

"Did you understand what I just said, Miss Sun Hee?"

She finished her drink and smacked her lips. Daintily, she took a paper napkin and dabbed her lips, before staring at him again.

"Yes, I did," she said, "It looks like everyhing is going well."

"Hopefully. We want to finish this case immediately."

"So do I."

Everything sounded so formal and...off. He couldn't point at it, but the detective thought that maybe the actress was keeping her distance from him. Hyuk understood that; after all, no woman in their right mind would want to talk about a drunken kiss -- ?

"What are we going to do, Detective?" she asked all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry?"

"We kissed, didn't we?"

Oh god.

The detective was a little startled with her sudden question.

"Miss Sun Hee, I don't think we should discuss that here," he told her, "Or anywhere at all."

"I just need to know one thing."

She looked serious. Hyuk braced himself for the worse.

"What is that?"

The actress took a deep breath.

"That kiss," she began, "Did it do anything for you?"

Hyuk could probably hear a pin drop from a thousand miles away because of the sudden silence. He rarely saw that look on Kim Sun Hee's face, but she just wanted to know. 

"Did it mean anything?" she asked again. 

He was in a very awkward position. The poor detective couldn't answer; how could he? He knew the situation, he knew how she felt, he realized a few things. How do you reply? What should he say? They made sense, but his mind tried to make it rational. The best answer would be -- 

"Nothing," he answered all of a sudden, "You were drunk, Miss Sun Hee."

Her face remained the same all throughout.

Slowly, she took back her coffee.

And said nothing anymore.

By the time he finished the story, he had nine bottles and a torn spirit. 

"Seems like you're regretting a lot."

His drinking buddy finished his third bottle of beer, smacking his lips. Within his peripheral line of vision, he could see the man looking at him with sympathy. They were the only ones left but Hyuk didn't mind.

He liked it better.

"Did you really feel nothing?" asked the man.

The detective sighed.

"I don't know," he answered, "I'm confused with myself. Believe me."

But Hyuk knew that confusion wasn't even the right term to describe his ordeal. He couldn't forget that sudden pang in his chest when he told her that the kiss meant nothing. He wasn't even sure what she felt about it, but that long silence and the formal goodbye after caught him off guard.

Did he hurt her?

He might have and he already felt bad for it.

His drinking buddy sighed and cleared his throat. "I hope you're not too drunk to understand, but let me just give you a piece of advice," he said.

Hyuk, who was leaning on the counter, tousling his hair, straightened up to heed his new friend's advice. He was drunk but he could still comprehend. His friend, on the other hand, looked meaningfully at him. For a second, the detective thought he looked familiar.  

The man extended an arm and held his shoulder.

"If it were me, I'd stop lying to myself," he said, "I'd stop holding back and just figure out what I want. And if I do want it, then I should go for it."

Out of drunkenness, Hyuk spoke. "But love...it's sad."

"Better than a sad love than nothing at all."

The man gave him another assuring squeeze on the shoulder before drinking his last bottle. He pushed the bowl of eggs towards him and placed money on the table. 

"Excuse me, but I have to leave. I have a flight to catch," he told Hyuk, "Can you go home?"

"I'll have someone fetch me. Or, maybe I'll just wait to be sober."

His drinking buddy smiled at him.

"It was nice seeing you," he told the detective, "I hope that when I see you around, you are happier."

Hyuk scoffed as he watched his new friend's retreating back. His eyes fell back to his ninth bottle and the bowl of eggs. It just occured to him that he hadn't eaten an egg and the new buddy might have too much. He got one of the less-than-hard boiled eggs, cracking them open.

"Wow, there's a hard boiled one after all," he remarked.

As he chewed on one, he couldn't help but remember Kim Sun Hee's stoic face when he said the word "Nothing."

"Better than a sad love than nothing at all."

He sighed.

"Lee Hyuk, you need to feel," he told himself.

A/N: So much has happened in a span of days. Gosh, I felt like I ran a marathon, physically and emotionally. I hope all of my readers are happy. I'm glad I got to see LDW do the TT one too many times; he makes me happy, just like how writing this also makes me happy. 

Let us all be happy, shall we?