No matter how unlikely it might seem but even after the darkest night a new morning would come. Byung-yeon had sat for a long time on the floor, simply staring into the distance, at the spot where Yeong had stood not too long ago. When even the summer’s night grew fresh he drew the folds of his hanbok closer around his shoulders again. Only when there was a mild coppery taste in his mouth Byung-yeon realized that he had been worrying his lips for too long. Absentmindedly he touched his mouth with his fingers and drew them away slightly red. The oil in the lantern eventually burned out and he took that as a sign that he should shift towards his bed.

His heart wouldn’t stop racing in his chest. What had happened tonight - not even in his wildest dreams -

There have been shameful times, especially during his teenage years, when he’d wake up during the night, feeling hot all over, plagued by fantasies that would make him cry in frustration into his pillow. He had felt so conflicted - his love for Yeong had never been pure, never been innocent. But at some point he had buried that - at least that part - the shameful part and rather focused on how he could be useful for the crown prince. Now it felt like this part had been unburied and this time it wouldn’t be so easy to get rid of it again. Byung-yeon groaned into his pillow, glad that Sam Nom wasn’t here tonight and wouldn’t return any time soon. He did not know when he finally managed to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, but eventually he did and when he woke again it felt like he barely closed his eyes at all. The only thing he did immediately notice was how his muscles felt soft and warm.

When he got up he dragged his morning routine as long as he could allow it.

A new day had come and he still had his duties and the palace wouldn’t be waiting for him until he might feel remotely ready to face Yeong again.

A million thoughts went through his head as he slowly washed, dressed, tied his hair up and ate the simple breakfast that one of the court lady always brought to his door. He couldn’t make sense out of it - why Yeong had come like he did, what he had wanted to begin with and what made him do what he did. 

He is probably just confused because of Sam Nom recently…

When Byung-yeon arrived at the Donggung, nervous like he never even felt as a kid when he was introduced to Yeong for the very first time, he was only greeted by Eunuch Jung 

»Master Kim!«, the eunuch intoned in his trademark theatrical tone while dipping into a bow. Usually Jung and him didn’t have much to say to each other usually. They respected each other in their respective areas greatly but they tended to work around each other.

In the early morning hours during the warm seasons Yeong usually let his servant air the whole Donggung so a steady breeze could banish the night and cool the inside before trying to preserve the slightly less degrees when the sun was unbearable. Like this Byung-yeon could normally already see him sitting on the veranda in the inner yard having breakfast. It was like this every morning without fail. Byung-yeon would join him then and  sneak a bite here and there of Yeong’s definitely way better food. They would talk about the plans for the day and stay like that for longer than was strictly advisable.

Today Yeong was nowhere to be seen.

Eunuch Jung looked terribly conflicted before lowering his gaze. »The crown prince has been up today earlier than usual and already went outside.«

»Where did he go?«, Byung-yeon asked still staring ahead at the empty table.

»Oh, Master Kim, you know that he barely tells me anything like that.« It was a clear lie. Even if Yeong hadn’t said where he was going, the eunuch would have found out shortly on his own anyway. Like this it was plain clear that Yeong must have given instructions not to tell Byung-yeon.

Any hope that they could simply get past what had happened yesterday died.

He must have realized how pathetic your are and now he’s disgusted.

»Did he take another guard with him?« He heard himself talk like listening to a stranger.

»Yes, he did, Master Kim. I am supposed to tell you that you can go ahead and tend to your duties at the guards. He will call upon you when he needs you.«

Yeong would not call him that day.

Yeong wouldn’t call on him the next day or the day after either. He wouldn’t visit the repentance hall, even when Sam Nom’s shifts in the night duty ended. He wouldn’t come to the training grounds.

The only reason why he still knew that Yeong was alive was from Sam Nom’s stories.

Jeoha did this, jeoha did that, jeoha said, can you believe it?! 

»Can you ever shut up!« Byung-yeon snapped at the end of the third day, glaring down from his beam.

»Kim Hyung!« Sam Nom gasped, glaring right back up at him, clearly offended. This boy hadn’t heard often enough in his life that he could just not talk every once in a while and it wouldn’t kill him. Which was a wonder really. Also in general that he still had a tongue. »What happened? You are behaving like a right-« Sam Nom stopped himself quickly enough, apparently he  remembered that no matter how easily he liked to forget but Byung-yeon did have a higher position than him. The flaring anger turned into a pout. »Well - I am not going to say it but know that it's notsomething nice! The crown prince had been already awfully moody the last days! I do not need you to be mean as well!«

He was not interested in hearing that and rather continued polishing his already shining knives. It gave his hands something to do, a welcome distraction. During the last couple days he had gone through an array of emotions - there had been a brief period when he had been angry. Angry at Yeong’s behavior, angry about himself, angry about the whole situation in general. But that anger had faded quickly, too quickly for his liking and now he felt only a hopeless dread settling in his stomach that robbed him of peaceful sleep.

»Did you and jeoha have a fight?«

»No.«, he answered maybe a little too quickly.

»Yeah, right. That’s surely why I haven’t seen you during the day at jeoha’s side at all and that’s also surely why you two are mysteriously in a mood at the same time!« Sam Nom stood up and came to stand under Byung-yeon’s beam, reaching out to pull at a piece of his robe hanging down close enough to touch. Yeong had called Sam Nom teasingly a puppy and never was the name more fitting than right this instance. Only a sad pair of floppy ears and a waking tail was missing, then the picture would be perfect. »Come on, Kim Hyung. You can tell your little brother! Is it a lover’s spat?«

Byung-yeon’s grip around the knife he was currently treating with some oil and a cloth tightened for a fraction, but otherwise he ignored him. He knew that Sam Nom couldn’t possible know what had happened and that he was only referring to the misunderstanding from their early days, but it still sat wrongly with him.

»Kim Hyung~!«, Sam Nom whined. »Jeoha and you usually never fight! I always thought you could set the whole palace on fire and he wouldn’t get mad at you! I am worried, Kim Hyung!«

»It’s none of your business!«

»Can I help? You need to make up with him!«

Annoyed Byung-Yeon jerked his robe out of Sam Nom’s hands, which made the tiny eunuch stumble. »Go to bed and shut up.«

»Kim-« Sam Nom yelped in surprise and jumped back when a knife rammed into the wood right in front of his feet. »Fine!« The surprise was quickly replaced with irritation as Sam Nom threw his hands up in defeat. »Fine! I don’t care! Sorry for being worried! Good night!«

After some very loud and obnoxious banging around in their shared living space, the light of the single lantern that had still illuminated the table was snuffed out with a lot of under the breath cursing on Sam Nom’s part and then everything was silent.

Engulfed by darkness Byung-yeon closed his eyes and tried not to think about what Sam Nom had said. The eunuch should really learn to choose his words more carefully, but it was hard to feel honestly annoyed by him when it was just Sam Nom’s personal brand of showing love to the people he cared about.

Even now he could never resent him. It was so obvious what the crown prince would find charming in someone like him - Sam Nom wore his emotions on his sleeve, didn’t care about etiquette, was stupidly honest and cared fiercely for every single person who showed him just a little kindness. They had many things in common. He made the crown prince laugh every day 

While Byung-yeon made him nothing but upset and put him in a bad mood.

He massaged his temples, willing the lump in his throat down. He still didn’t understand what had happened, what he could have done differently.

For a moment there had been a single spark of misplaced hope - but he didn’t even dare to let his mind wander in that direction for even a second, not even to consider it.

»It makes you sad, when you cannot spent time with the crown prince. Whatever happened between you two, I don’t think it is worth it. He misses you, too, but doesn’t know how to say it.«, came suddenly, quieter now.

Byung-yeon smiled softly. Sam Nom had not a single clue what he was talking about. He was in no position to demand anything from the crown prince.

Please be done thinking soon and let me stay by your side again.

»I never thought I’d recognize that look.«

Byung-yeon had known Yoon-sung too long by now to expect anything but cryptic wisdoms coming your way when you weren’t paying attention. He looked at Yoon-sung shortly before fixing his gaze again on the scene he had been silently watching from a certain distance for some time now. He would need to be back at the training ground in a little while, when the worst of the midday heat would have finally passed, but for the time being he still had a little while under the thick shade of the hibiscus tree.

He was sure that he wouldn’t need to prompt Yoon-sung to elaborate. That was the thing with royals after all. They would make themselves heard whether someone cared about what they had to say or not.