Tzuyu might have wished for something for New Year’s.

She might have wished to finally be noticed by Sana.

But it seemed like 2017 would be anything but.

It was just the beginning of 2017 and she already wanted to give up. It wasn’t like she’d only been doing this for a few months. She’d loved Sana from the moment she set eyes on her. She’d thrown in countless indirect confessions and admissions yet Sana never seemed to notice her. Sure, when they debuted Sana seemed to be stuck to Tzuyu by their hips. But time passed on and Tzuyu doesn’t know what she did wrong to see Sana and Dahyun clinging so tightly. She might not be good at explaining her feelings but she tried to show it with actions. Tzuyu always had a hard time telling people how she felt and maybe that was the reason Sana had moved away from her.

Tzuyu should have held on tighter.

She should have held on tighter when Sana was slipping away.

Why didn’t she?

But if Tzuyu really considered it, Sana was never really that clingy to her as she was with other members. She’d pepper kisses across the other member’s faces, give them hugs and tease them but Tzuyu never seemed to get a lot of them. Those rare moments were the most beautiful ones though. Where they’d share a blanket or Sana would hug her from behind. Maybe Sana thought that Tzuyu was too young. But nothing ever stopped Nayeon from showing Tzuyu love or smothering her. It never stopped anybody but Sana. She was too cautious around Tzuyu and she wanted to know why she was being treated like that. All she ever wanted was her attention.

But somehow things just got worse between them.

They split further apart.

The two of them no longer interacted.

Fansigns were extremely awkward and those rare moments where they took pictures next to each other were just the same. A gap between the two of them was like a reminder of how things had changed. If you’d asked Tzuyu if she’d expected things to become like this between the two of them, she’d say no. Tzuyu tries hard to interact with Sana. She tries to sit next to her at fansigns. She remembered the one where Sana got hurt next to her and she wanted to run up to check if she was okay but what could she do? The distance between them was growing and Tzuyu worrying about Sana would just be too plain weird.

It didn’t help that Dahyun had come to check on Sana and see how much pain she was in.

It hurt.

Why didn’t Tzuyu have enough confidence to change things?

When Nayeon told everyone that her wish for 2017 was for Tzuyu to notice her more, she was surprised. Sure, they had a teasing relationship where Tzuyu wasn’t the most affectionate but she didn’t think that Nayeon was that affected. So Tzuyu took it into consideration that maybe this would help her think less about Sana. Maybe it was what she needed so that she could think less about her. For sure, she was thinking that Sana and Dahyun’s relationship was cemented. No one else is treated that way by Sana other than Dahyun. Tzuyu tried to make Nayeon’s wish true. She looked at her more, smiled when she talked and observed her when she sang. It felt better.

She felt better thinking less about Sana.

Maybe there was a chance things could change.

But there was this feeling in her heart that wasn’t leaving.

A lot of things changed around their dorm. Dahyun had slowly drifted away from Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. Sana and Dahyun often stuck together and left on their own. Of course the other members noticed but what could anyone do? Tzuyu and Chaeyoung could only comfort each other. Dahyun was growing out of their maknae circle and leaving them both behind. No childish games, no late night talks – it was just the two of them. They decided to make the best of things, not lingering on the fact that they’d lost the third member to their group. Tzuyu had found someone to confide in other that Jihyo and it felt good. Maybe this was another chance for her.

Oh, how wrong she was.

It was still affecting her.

And she just wished for it to go away.

While at the dorms, Tzuyu had felt like she wasn’t as affected by Sana and Dahyun. She was happy that she was having some progress with her feelings. Maybe it wasn’t as strong as she thought it would be. But she found out that it hurt her more when she saw them being clingy at fansigns or on V Lives. Why that was the case, she had no idea. Maybe it was the fact that it used to be herself and S