Maybe it was the countless failed relationships, boyfriends she only ever liked kissing, dates that went on too long, but Yongsun was starting to wonder if she might like girls.  

"Just because he tried to make a move on you and you didn't like it, doesn't mean you're gay."

Eunha snickered as she took another bite of her boiled egg.

Yongsun looked down at her lap, tugged at the loose fabric of her $100 ripped jeans.  She sighed; leaned back on her hands and looked up at the sky.

"No you're right, ugh... why does uality have to be so complicated?"

"Because people make it out to be."

Yongsun bit her lip, remembered looking at the sky once with Byulyi.  They were having a picnic just like Yongsun was now.  She was sitting next to Yongsun just like Eunha was now.  The memory made her skin prickle.

"Are you okay?"

Yongsun shook her head, smiled, took a sip of her lemonade.  

"Yep."  She blinked, cleared the stars from her eyes, "I'm fine."

---------------------------------------

"Do you know why you're having so much fun?"

Byulyi smiled, leaned forward almost drunkenly and said in her cutest, sweetest, voice.  "Because I'm with Unnie."

Yongsun nodded proudly for the video diary.  Byulyi giggled into her ear, and Yongsun's arms shook a little.  "Carry this now," she ordered, my arm is getting tired.

"Where are we going next?"

"To the exhibits."

Byulyi's eyes sparkled.  "I love those!"

"I know."

"You're the best!"

Yongsun breathed out a laugh.  As Byulyi started walking Yongsun paused to tie her shoes (to collect her thoughts) and as she looked down at the ground she saw a drop of water stain the sidewalk.  Instinctively she reached up to touch her face, then she looked up at the sky, and saw that it was raining.

"Oh," she in a short breath and then laughed.  

"What is it?" Byulyi called.

"Nothing!" Yongsun shouted back.  She wiped her face a couple more times to be sure, then, "I'm coming!  Just wait for me!"

-----------------------------------------

"How was your date?"

Byulyi shrugged.  Wheein sidled up to her, so she could tickle her, and try and squeeze out more details.

Byulyi laughed, shrugged her away.  She liked to pretend she was shy, but Yongsun knew she was bold.  More bold than herself, at least.

"You don't need to know!" Byulyi teased, and Wheein gasped.

"You kissed!  You must have!"

Byulyi rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide her blush, or the smug way her lips pursed.

"Congrats," Hyejin said jokingly, "but you gotta save some of that for Woo Sung oppa."

Byulyi rolled her eyes again.  "It'll never happen," she sighed.  

Yongsun laughed, mirthlessly, and clapped Byulyi on the back.  "Aigoo what are we going to do?"

"Yeah," Hyejin joined in, "our little princess is in love."

Byulyi whined, tried to break free of their grasp, but now all three were tickling her, making her laugh, nearly cry, until Yongsun finally let up.  "Okay okay guys," her smile dissapated as soon as she said the words out loud, "lets leave her alone.  She has to text him back, remember?"

Byulyi gave her a beaming smile.  She wrestled her way out of Wheein's grip, and threw her arms around Yongsun's shoulders.  "I don't need any actor anyways, not when I've got you."

Yongsun didn't flinch when Byulyi started kissing her cheek.

By some miracle, Wheein managed to tear her away, and Yongsun made up an excuse about needing to use the restroom.  She walked out of their dressing room and started wandering around the building.  She bowed politely at the other people who walked by her, but mostly kept to herself.

Then, almost as if it was planned, a member from a boy group approached her.  He was with a friend, but that friend moved on without him, leaving just Yongsun alone with the guy.

"Hi -um- hello I mean... you look very nice today."

Yongsun felt her cheeks heat up.  Her fingers gripped the hem of her skirt as she smiled.

"You look nice too."

He ducked his head, shuffled around on his feet, and Yongsun felt some kind of question coming up, one she didn't want to hear.  

"Uh, I'm very sorry, but I have to go to the bathroom right now!"

She excused herself, speed-walked the rest of the way, until she was finally in the safety of the women's bathroom.

------------------------------------------

"Minhyuk tried to flirt with you?"

Yongsun laughed.

"Yeah," she leaned against the counter, "it was flattering just..."

Chorong put her hand on Yongsun's shoulder.  Her palm was warm; her smile easy.  "I know.  Guess guys can't help it around pretty girls.  They never consider we might just not be interested."

"Um... yeah," Yongsun laughed awkwardly, and immediately clamped her hand over when she realized she was probably being too loud.

Chorong laughed good-naturedly.  "I have to admit though," she squeezed Yongsun's shoulder again before making her way out, "it seems as though he has good taste!"

The sound of her own laugh haunted her the rest of the day.  

It was like some sort of siren that went off alerting her to something she really didn't want to deal with.  Not during their performance, not in the car ride home, not in bed at night, not ever.

------------------------------------------

"Did you ever have a crush on me?"

Eunha choked.

"Okay wow, thanks."  Yongsun started ripping out the grass from the sidewalk cracks.

"No no it's just," Eunha punched Yongsun's shoulder lightly, "it's kind of an awkward question?"  She pressed her lips together, staring up and down Yongsun as if she was scanning her, waiting for a tiny computer in her brain to output the correct answer.

"You're very pretty, that's obvious, but I mean... I'm not gay so..."

Yongsun nodded.  "Yeah," she said tiredly, "that makes sense."

Eunha observed her carefully.  Yongsun wouldn't look at anything but her own feet.

"Did you um... did you ever have a crush on me?"

Yongsun chuckled once, and leaned back on her palms.  She turned to rest her chin on her shoulder while looking at Eunha, and Eunha had to admit, her best friend was beautiful, but...

"No," Yongsun said sadly.  "But I always knew you liked boys."

"Does that make a difference?"

Yongsun shrugged.  

"Well... it wouldn't make sense to have a crush on someone you knew couldn't like you back."

Eunha frowned, trying to piece together Yongsun's cryptic words.

"So... if a girl -for example- liked you.  You might like her back?"

"Would that... would you... is that okay?"

Eunha nodded quickly.

"I mean... I never knew you... but it's fine, I mean, of course it's okay."

Yongsun chuckled again.  "Good."

Eunha tapped her feet impatiently.

"So then..."

Yongsun smirked.

"Are you asking me if there's a girl?"

Eunha nodded excitedly.

Yongsun sighed, and leaned foward, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Not really..."

"What do you mean not really?"

Yongsun squinted, and Eunha followed her gaze, but there was nothing very special-looking in front of her.  Just a whole lot of concrete.

"I told you," Yongsun said quietly, "it doesn't make sense to have a crush on someone who you know can't like you back."  She gripped her legs tighter.

"Oh," Eunha said after some time.

Yongsun sighed again.

"Yeah.  Oh."