"I'm home." Sehun announcing his present nonchalantly. It's not like he will got any respond by the way. His entire house is a perfect black. It's already pass eleven, that's why. He got a bit carried away in her house.

A little-white-fluffy-thing running wildly straight to his voice. He can't help but chuckles as his favorite little pal come in sight. Squat down with open arms, he allowed his puppy to jump on his torso. him all over in its reach. He smile widely as he tried to dodge the 'kisses' he got. 

"Missed me that much huh? Hmm..?" he coos teasingly at the energized fur-ball. He didn't bother to kept his laugh as soon as he got a bark. And another bark. And another bark. He kiss it hard to proclaimed his love. He love to be welcome like this everyday. 

With puppy in his arms, Sehun made his way to his room....only to be stopped as he heard a voice calling out his name.

Turning around, Sehun answer calmly "Yes, Ma." Even tho everything is black, he already know who and where the voice is. He doesn't intend to turn on the lamps as it's time for sleep. And this conversation wouldn't take longer than 5mins. Maybe less.

"Where are you from? It's late." asked his Mother. The question that she already know the answer. He can't see her face, yet he can picture it out. The look of tired, sleepy, and bored. Bored to asked.

"You know where Ma. I'm sorry I got carried away." He explained as he his puppy's head. Which soundly asleep. Vivi is always sleepy in his arms.

"Hm. Just don't do this often. You make your sister worried. Just a call wouldn't hurt, no?" 

"Yes, sorry." He know is at fault. He should have called before. Stupid me.

"I know." she says, quite low. Sehun almost didn't catch it. 

"There is some food in the kitchen. Eat before you go to sleep. You are too thin." There is concern in her voice. Sehun can feel it. He hope his Mother know she herself not so much meatier. 

"I will." He promises.

He couldn't see anything, but he sure his Mother is leaning against the door frame, arms folded. Her famous pose from time to time. 

"Good. Well...... good night." He can feel his Mother retreating to her room.

"Ma." Before she could closed the door, Sehun called her with a bit hesitate. He isn't sure whether to tell her or not.

But his mouth dicided to moves faster than his brain.

"..they're...both fine. Just... so you know." Sehun tried to said it nonchalantly, but he know is failed.

He know there's a thing he wish to get from his Mother, like.......... a move on.

There's no sound coming from his Mother's room. But the door still slightly open, which means.. his Mother heard him just fine. Now he cursing his mouth for its stupid moves. His Mother must be so tired, not to forget sleepy. He shouldn't have bringing up their anything or everything. Neither their well-being nor living. Not even their nothing.

But before he could apologized to cut her sleep time, he definitely got her attention.

"I don't want to know." His Mother's answer is flat and careless.

"Ma--" His Mother marched out of sudden. Now he can see his Mother's hard face through the lights that come from front porch. It knock him out of breath.

"Stop whatever you are trying to do Sehun!" His Mother spits dangerously. Low and clear. Anger that flowing out of her is unbearable strong. But Sehun's egos boldly overtake his rational mind.

"I'm not trying to do anything!" He bites back. Shocking the both of them and the puppy in his arms. As if knowing the tension between his owners, he jump out of Sehun then running to his and his younger brother's room. They shared the bedroom, and his sister sleep with his Mother.

Taking a deep breath, Sehun try to calming down his raging emotion. He wanna tell his Mother whatever have been in his mind. It's right now, or never.

"Ma, it doesn't need to be like this. She--" he reachs out his hand just to be slapped away.

"She didn't has anything to do with us. It's you who choosed to be with her. So don't force us to do what you do." Her voices is final. 

"I'm not with her nor backsiding you, Ma. I just want--" he tried to explained, but..

"You want what? Me, to be friends with her? Me, to welcome her and say everything's fine?! Me, to tell her to live with us?!!" she bawling her heart out. Every sentences poisoned with hatred. Breaking his heart like he's the one being targeted.

His Mother's face turn down facing the floor. Her body trembles just a slightless. 

"Ma...." he calls softly. He feels so sinful and will gladly begs to be thrown to the hell.

His Mother shakes her head, refuse to look at him..........until...

"You know why Sehun, yet.. how can you still act like everything's nothing? Am I not your Mother? Is she your Mother?" She asked him with so much difficult. Tears covered eyes look at him with something like........betrayal?

"Ma...." Sehun try to grab his Mother hands. He can feel his own eyes b with tears. It shouldn't be like this. It's not supposed to be like this. "Ma...no.. Ma...." he breathes out. He shakes his head as he brings their locked hands to his lips. He kiss its knuckles with all his heart.

His already broken heart.

His tears flowing down slowly wetting his skinny cheeks.

He brought her hands close to his chest to give him more strength to talk. He must talk his heart out. He can't keep it any longer.

Taking a deep suffocating breath, Sehun open up his locked secret.

"I just want you to let go Ma... You're not being yourself........ you've changed." he grasp her hands tighter.

"I want to see the old you.. my happy Mother back then." he smiles.  

"You woke me up everyday with that annoying voices of yours and always ruffling my hair to make me awake.......even tho you knew I hate it. And sometime you hits my head with a pillow repeatly, and wouldn't stopped until I got up and go to the bathroom, remember?" he laughs at his own memories.

"And you didn't even let me had my peace in the bathroom. Like...you keep pounding my door when I was just 5mins inside? And I keep questioning your insanity at that time.." he laughs more forgetting their last tension. Even tho it small, he can see his Mother's smile. She remember.

"Before I go to school, you would hugged me and told me to having fun. Then, when I was back, you would welcome me with your smile. When I got my full scores, you would said how proud you are to have me as your son." he says with a proud smile. Proud to be proud by his Mother. But that smile turn to a grimm ones almost instantly.

"But.. when I got myself in a prestigious high school almost three years ago, with full scholarship..........y-you didn't even h-hu-hugged me Ma.." he chokes on his own tears. He can't bear it anymore.

He wanted to be rescued. He want to survive from this misery.

"W-where a-are you.. M-Ma?" he sobs uncontrollably. His body shooks with it. His hands trembling so much like his voices. He breaths erratically. He lose...he's losing himself.

It's suffocating....

But he still have to braces himself. 

Closing both his eyes tight, he holds his Mother's hands with every strength left. Taking a very very deep breath, he's balancing himself.

"Where are you Ma...? .....w-where is your smile? Your sincered smile. Your warm smile. Your beautiful smile. I can't.. see it anymore Ma...... I-I missed your true smile." he tells his deepest feels.

He looks straight to her eyes. Her red and damp eyes. Eyes that looks nothing but surprised, confused, guilty, and......hurts. She hurts too.

He hopes his Mother's understan--

"And how about me Sehun?" she whispers. Eyes empty.