"Taekwoon. Taekwoon!"

Taekwoon can hear the impatience in Sanghyuk's aggrieved tone but he doesn't stop walking down the corridor, pushing students aside if necessary. Classes ended late today - and he'd had to endure the whole day or people whispering about him but nobody actually talking to him - by lunchtime of course everybody had found out he had a gang on his tail, courtesy of the football team. He hadn't let Sanghyuk catch him during lunch either, escaping to the roof faster than Sanghyuk could have followed.

"For 's sake! Will you stop?"

Sanghyuk is getting angry. Taekwoon rounds a corner at speed.

we didn't know what was really happening comes the message, and Taekwoon stares at it for longer than needed.

we thought you just didn't care about getting suspended. about the team. you should have said something.

would it have made a difference- Taekwoon types back to Donghyun and then erases. He's being disgustingly self-pitying, adding to the anger he feels at himself. doesn't matter. i'm still off the team. and i don't think they're going to let me back on.

we're trying to talk to the coach about it. see if he can persuade them.

Taekwoon pushes his phone away and turns over in bed.

Sanghyuk wakes him up from his impromptu nap with an ungentle shake to his shoulder. Taekwoon looks at him blankly, and then narrows his eyes towards his bedroom door. His mother is a traitor.

"Rise and shine, drama queen!" Sanghyuk announces, but there is a bite to his words that take the joke right out of them. Taekwoon doesn't want to deal with this right now.

"Sanghyuk-"

"What the is wrong with you?"

"Do you want me to make a list?" Taekwoon answers sarcastically, sitting up. 

"We've been over this," Sanghyuk argues, ignoring him. "Stop shutting me out!"

"I'm off the football team thanks to you," Taekwoon says before he can think about the words, and Sanghyuk draws away slightly.

"You know I didn't mean for that to happen," Sanghyuk begins after a pause, neither of them looking at each other. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that's what the sports head would do."

"It makes sense," Taekwoon mutters. He's not angry at Sanghyuk, not really - and yet.

"Is that why you're avoiding me?"

Yes, among other reasons why I should avoid you, Taekwoon thinks, trying not to look at Sanghyuk's mouth.

"It's not safe to be around me, you should go," Taekwoon says, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice as he moves to get out of bed.

"Will you stop-" Sanghyuk grabs Taekwoon's arm to stop him - Taekwoon sees it happen from outside himself. The kiss happens so fast Taekwoon can't remember exactly how it happened or who moved in first, but he's brought back to himself with a crash as they both sit frozen, staring at each other.

Sanghyuk puts one foot in front of each other carefully, counting his steps. He's trying not to think, keeping his mind blank and filling the space with his breathing. He's not going to think about it. It shouldn't have happened this way, not like this; in the middle of a mess of emotions and problems. Sanghyuk catches himself - does that mean he thinks it would have happened eventually anyway? How long has he known this was where everything was leading?

Sanghyuk takes out his phone and dials Namjoo's number.

"Long time no hear, Hyuksang."

"Joonam, help me," Sanghyuk begs.

"Oh," Sanghyuk's mother breaks into a wide delighted smile when she looks up from her newspaper to see Sanghyuk walk into the house with Namjoo in tow. "Namjoo!"

"Don't start," Sanghyuk warns her, Namjoo hiding a laugh behind her hand as she follows Sanghyuk into the kitchen to get a drink. "Hello, eomeoni."

"You should come over more often," Sanghyuk's mother calls after them. "Spend more time together!"

"Kinda ironic," Namjoo grins once they're ensconced in Sanghyuk's room, jerking her head in the direction of the living room where the Namjoo-Sanghyuk shipping mother of Sanghyuk is. Namjoo swivels a little in Sanghyuk's desk chair to meet Sanghyuk's glare. 

"Don't you dare start making jokes now."

"Was it your first kiss?" Namjoo asks abruptly, possibly if only to see Sanghyuk's cheeks slowly pinken.

"You know it was. Our kiss when we were seven doesn't count."

Namjoo looks at him, smile playing about her lips as Sanghyuk becomes more and more agitated. "What, Kim Namjoo, what?"

"You really like him."

Sanghyuk drops his head into his hands. "What am I going to do about this?"

"You're ed," Namjoo agrees. "I want to say you can come live with me if your parents disown you for dating a boy but I'm not sure I can guarantee that."

Sanghyuk slowly looks up, and Namjoo lets the smile slide off her face. She reaches over and grabs his hand in awkward comfort. "That was a little too real, huh?"

"This thing can't happen, can it?" Sanghyuk asks, not sure what reply he wants.

Namjoo shrugs. "How good are you at keeping secrets? How much do you like him? Is he even worth it?"

"I don't even know what he wants," Sanghyum murmurs. "I don't think he's very happy with me at the moment, either."

"Well," Namjoo shrugs at him again. "You've always just done whatever you wanted. Just be careful, I guess."

"And that's it?" Sanghyuk raises an eyebrow at her.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring along the 'How to Secretly Be In A Gay Relationship' Handbook with me, alright?"

"I hate you," Sanghyuk falls back among his pillows with a rush of breath.

"I hate you too," Namjoo agrees, patting his thigh. "At least he's hot. And can fight off all your enemies."

"What enemies?" Sanghyuk frowns at her. "Everyone loves me."

"Now you're sounding like that kid from our middle school class,  Jaehwan."

"Ugh, I really hated him."

Taekwoon has worried his bottom lip so badly the past three hours it's become tender and red.  He needs to do something, say something to Sanghyuk -after multiple - a hundred, a thousand - dissections of The Kiss he thinks he must have been the one to initiate it; he leaned in first, pulling Sanghyuk slightly towards him by the hand Sanghyuk had on his arm, but Sanghyuk had moved the rest of the way in.

Taekwoon is bouncing off the walls. What does this mean? What does this mean? 

He wants to kiss Sanghyuk again - properly. Not in the middle of a pity party for one. The thought is terrifying.

I'm sorry he types with his eyes closed and sends it to Sanghyuk, and then realises what it sounds like he's apologising for and panics. But then again - maybe Sanghyuk didn't want to be kissed so I'm sorry would be a good way to play it safe??

I mean for being mean to you. For saying it was your fault. I got caught up in being upset. Taekwoon types quickly, heart slamming in his chest. I'm not sorry for kissing you- he begins, and then vehemently backspaces. But they can't just ignore what happened either??

Sanghyuk had met him halfway. That had to mean something.

Oh god, there's school tomorrow - Taekwoon cringes hard. How is he going to face Sanghyuk this way?

He hasn't moped about the football team for exactly three hours, Taekwoon realises.