C H A P T E R  1 9

“Minlee, what’s wrong? Please….why are you being like this?”

“I just...it just took me some time to realize the truth. There’s nothing more to say.” Should I actually tell him? But I feel that if I do, I’ll start crying….

“I think there’s something wrong though. Just tell me.”

“I mean, I want to tell you, but I feel like you should have already known! Can’t you think of anything that might be the reason??” Doyoung reaches for my hand.

“Please..just tell me.”

“Ahh! Can’t you see!? This can’t work!! I don’t like it!! I don’t like it when you deceive everyone like this!! Your fans...they love you.. I’m a fan too, I know how it feels to idolize people like you. And you make them believe in you. They worship people like you, and you have no idea. I don’t know what who I’m doing this for...me or your fans. Anyhow, I just don’t think this is right!”

“So then Minlee, what do you want me to do!!! Tell me!!! Do you want me to give up on my dream??!! To never perform, to never attend a fanmeeting ever again!??!!

“No...it’s just…ugh! I don’t know!! I don’t want to be in this situation at all!!”

“Look Minlee, I really like you. Really. I like you alot.. but please..don’t make me choose between you and my dream career.”

“Ahh it’s not that!! It’s just….I really…. Are you willing to tell all your fans about me? Do you think I feel happy when your fans hug you and tell you they love you? Or when you let them say all that and act cute and giggly?? Think about it, please..”

“....”

“Doyoung...really… I don’t know what to do...I just feel...maybe..we should stop. I just...I can’t see a future with us together unburdened. I barely started a love life and already I’m such a wreck...and I’m still so young. I don’t think I was ready for a relationship anyways.”

“....Message me when you’re ready. Until then Minlee, do whatever you want.”

Doyoung sternly heads back down to the other members. I lug my luggage in and begin to bawl immediately after. Being so confused and conflicted began to hurt my heart and my performance so quickly. I really, real