Clubs aren’t really Joshua’s scene. He isn’t a fan of the loud music and close proximity to strangers. He doesn’t drink, either. Normally he wouldn’t go to a club like this, especially not on own initiative. But tonight he is on a mission. He knows what he wants. He wants to see him.

Maybe going somewhere in hopes of seeing a person you’ve seen only once is weird. It probably is. Normally Joshua would think so, too. But this person, oh god. He can’t get him out of his head. It has been exactly a week since he saw him, at exactly this same location. And he doesn’t even know if he will be here. But it’s the only hope he has to see him again. Joshua was stupid enough not to ask the stranger for a number, an address, nothing. He didn’t even get a name.

Joshua feels like a creep. Stalking in a nightclub, in hopes of finding a man he has met once. But he can’t help it. When the man approached him, exactly a week ago, he knew at once that he was special. Not only had the man been the arguably most stunningly attractive person he has ever met. There was something about him, something Joshua can’t quite put his finger on, something that rendered him completely speechless.

He had remained speechless throughout that whole night. He hadn’t said a word as they danced together, so close, not a word in the cab to his apartment, not a word as the stranger writhed beneath him, waking up all his neighbors. It had all seemed almost surreal, so fantastical, that when Joshua woke up to an empty bed the morning after, he wasn’t sure if it had been a dream. However, he knew it had been real when he found a note on his fridge from the stranger, apologizing for leaving so early and thanking him for the soda.

And now, here he is. In a club, dripping with sweat and covering his ears, in the same club he had been dragged to a week ago. And then, he sees him. He looks different now, the hair that was long and blonde last week is now a darker color, it’s impossible to tell which in the colored light, and reaches only down to his jaw at the longest part. He still recognizes him immediately, though. It’s impossible not to. Because not only is his face impossibly beautiful, but the aura he exudes is so powerful, so demanding. It draws your attention like that.

All of a sudden, Joshua doesn’t care if he’s being creepy. He doesn’t care that he doesn’t even know the name of this person, that they have only met once. He needs to talk to him. Now.

The stranger is talking to someone, a girl, but Joshua doesn’t bother even looking at her. His eyes are nailed to the guy’s head, and it’s only a matter of seconds before he is standing next to him, arm on his shoulder, and shooting the girl an apologetic look. The girl looks confused, eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. The guy, though, only raises his eyebrows and follows Joshua as he drags him outside.

The air outside the club is cold, nearly freezing, but the lighting here is better than inside. Joshua sees now that the stranger’s hair is dark brown. It suits him, brings out his eyes. Makes him look younger.

“Joshua,” the stranger calls him, and although Joshua can’t remember telling him his name, he doesn’t really care about that right now. “What’s up?”

Joshua almost wants to laugh, because the guy is acting so casual, way too casual for someone who was just dragged away by someone he had a one-night stand with a week ago. But he doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t react at all, until he realizes that he has been staring and the stranger probably wants him to.

Joshua wants to tell him that he hasn’t thought about anything else since they were together, wants to ask him to be his. But that would be a weird first thing to say to someone, so he doesn’t.

“What’s your name?” he asks instead, and his heart beats just a little bit louder as the stranger smiles, eyes lit up with amusement.

“My name is Jeonghan,” the stranger, Jeonghan, answers him, and Joshua can’t help but think about how fitting the name is. It’s just like Jeonghan himself; pretty, but handsome; hard, but soft.

Joshua doesn’t know what to say next, he realizes. He hadn’t thought this through in terms of action, he had only planned for what he wanted to happen. And sadly, Jeonghan doesn’t seem like he is about to jump into Joshua’s arms and kiss him just yet.

A few moments pass as Joshua tries to conjure up an intelligent sentence, and Jeonghan looks more and more uncomfortable each second. Eventually, Jeonghan sighs and straightens his back.

“Look, if you’re not going to say anything, I should really get back inside. It was nice seeing you again, Joshua,” Jeonghan tells him with a smile before he starts making his way past Joshua.

All of a sudden, Joshua panics. He can’t let Jeonghan disappear again. This past week nearly killed him; every moment filled with memories of round eyes and cherry lips. Every waking hour brought him more and more agony, more need to see Jeonghan again, to hear him, feel him. Without thinking he turns on his heel and grabs Jeonghan’s wrist, stopping him in his step. Jeonghan’s face is shocked, eyes wide and bright. Beautiful.

“Go out with me.”

Jeonghan’s eyes widen even further and his jaw falls open. Joshua quickly realizes what he just said, and regrets it immediately. However, he doesn’t take it back, doesn’t let go of Jeonghan’s wrist. On the contrary, he adds an unsure please, as if it’s going to help him.

Jeonghan’s eyes return somewhat to their normal size, just a tiny bit wide still, and shakes himself loose from Joshua’s grip. “Look, Joshua,” he starts, brows furrowed and eyes looking into Joshua’s own, “You seem like a really sweet guy, and I had a really good time that night. But I can’t be in a relationship right now.”

Joshua feels his heart break as he stares into Jeonghan’s eyes. He’s not sure what he expected from such a sudden request to someone he doesn’t know anything about. But it wasn’t this. He should have expected it; it was the only normal response Jeonghan could have given. But for some reason, it feels so out of the blue.

“Please,” he pleads again, and he isn’t normally this persistent, but for some reason he can’t let Jeonghan walk away. His brain screams at him to stop, this is wrong and it’s weird and it’s creepy, but he can’t. Jeonghan only looks more weirded out than before and he shakes his head firmly, telling him no yet again.

Joshua can feel tears building in his eyes, and he is getting angry with himself, because this is weird, You’re being weird, Joshua! But he can’t stop himself, has no control over his body and mouth anymore. “Why not?”

Joshua wants to hit himself, even more so when he sees how uncomfortable Jeonghan looks. He doesn’t want to act this way, he usually hates it when people just won’t take a no, but his feeling are taking complete control over him right now, and his feelings are telling to not let Jeonghan go.

He doesn’t know why his feelings are behaving the way they are, either. They shouldn’t be, especially not to someone he has only met twice, and had one super weird conversation with. He’s had boyfriends he’s let go easier than this before!

Jeonghan sighs, and looks away from him. When he looks back, his eyes are aflame, angry and confused and frustrated, and they more beautiful than ever.

“I’m married, Joshua.”

Jeonghan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wallet. He searches inside the wallet for a while before he produces a ring, a simple gold band. Joshua doesn’t know what to feel. He feels sad, obviously. He also feels just a smidgen of relief, for some reason. But most of all, weirdly, he feels like he’s not ready to give up. His head is filled with thoughts like ‘I can get him a better ring than that’, and even though he knows it’s wrong, knows it’s completely against his moral code to try to woo a married man, he finds that he listens to that voice, the one that tells him not to give up.

It is a long while before either of them speak again, and Joshua’s mind is working at miles per minute. He ends up pulling his phone out of his jeans and handing it over to Jeonghan, before burying his hands in his pockets, as if he’s giving a sign of defeat. “Can I at least get your number? So we can be friends?”

Jeonghan looks at him with probably the most frustrated expression on his face, and Joshua only gives him a sheepish grin in return. Jeonghan shakes his head before tapping his number into Joshua’s phone. He hands Joshua his phone back, a bit aggressively maybe, and turns around to walk back into the club. Joshua absently wonders if Jeonghan gave him his number just to get him to stop, but right now, he doesn’t care.

I’ve got him.