a gift for imzeyxx since January 19th is her birthdate so i prepare this fic for her, also jicheol fams with slight jihan here 

i shall released on the January 19th but i can't make it so, it's an early gift, ENJOY ~

It would be perfect if he did not mix his feeling inside the song. Yet he could not help himself to recover from his heartbreak, if only there was a way to heal it faster. It was a mistake to fall in love with someone that he could not have. He was adored by anyone, even by he was their favourite, so otherwise. Jihoon could not hope the special treatment only for himself by him. He was tossed by side to side — his feeling, he meant. All he was able to force, only smile. A smile that never described how bitter his life by living in this spot.

That person was his muse after all, the fondness that fountained after these years never failed to keep showering in his heart. Whenever Jihoon heard his voice, whenever he saw the glimpse of his figure that lured his desire, whenever Jihoon was told by that person, whenever they acted like having a push-pull relationship, Jihoon fell again in the same beautiful mistake. One more times, he fell for the same person. Jihoon was lost over himself.

Now, he was sequestering himself in the same room. In his studio, where only he and his equipments lived on and worked without any limitation of working hours. The petite male stirred the spoon inside his mug, his coffee was ran out yet he did not want to refill it again. He was too tired — too focus on the new work. He tired to make another version of any songs he had made with that person or made by himself alone. If only Joshua was there, he would ask that brother to help him but … Jihoon checked the hours by gazing at his upper monitor. He choked up. It was too late, that brother already had been in the dorm while he kept sticking himself at the office. He sighed.

“It’s too late, I will sleep here, perhaps Seokmin will nag me again about the dorm’s duties.” He shifted from his working chair to the sofa behind that prepared if only few people came to monitor the recording and producing part. Yet it was useful for nestling with sleepiness. Jihoon yawned, his body felt tired in every inch still his eyes did otherwise.

No matter how much he yawned and rolled back and fro, his eyes still wanted to open up. He stared at the ceiling. Somehow his mind pondered how his feeling could overflowed like that towards the latter. It did not stop a while, though how many times he saw a bitter moment of his friendship and him, he still loved that person no matter what.

“I must be crazy.” He muttered to himself, pulling the blanket over his body.

Abruptly a door cracked open. Jihoon startled at the sight of someone he expected to not come in this late hour. “Jihoon-ie.” The petite male gulped as the latter made an entrance. His eyes looked so heavy, so did his tone. The shorter male who was still shocking by sudden coming, kept observing while his hand naturally patted the space at the sofa though it was not fit for the latter to sleep on.

“Why still be here, Jihoon? I thought you would finish the work tomorrow.”

Jihoon tossed his eyes to not catch the deep look on the latter’s eyes. “I—I—“

“You supposed to be not working late, Jihoon, we need some rest.” The latter ordered. Jihoon lost his words, though he had many that working inside his brain to retort the order. Moreover, he was losing his own control when it was related of working. That person had higher authorities than him in order of protecting that person from working more than himself. That latter perhaps sweated over if someday the second mistake was repeated beyond his expectation. So he maintained the working hours and kept checking many member’s shift well.

“Hyung, I—“

The latter came closer and tugged himself on the sofa as he pulled Jihoon into his embrace then he pulled the blanket to cover their bodies. “It’s Cheol when we’re alone.” He whispered near the shorter’s ear.

“Oh alright, I understand.” The younger instantly replied weakly. His body stiffened when Seungcheol tightened his grip on Jihoon, just like he was afraid if it was a dream of having Jihoon in his embrace.

The trial between his eyes, brain and heart multiplied as Seungcheol fell deeper in his sleep. His steady breathing troubled JIhoon so much, it was caused the older put his face right beside the younger cheek, his leg tangled with the younger’s. He perhaps could sleep well while occasionally he smiled happily, blamed this on how he hugged the latter as if it was a stuffed doll. Jihoon ran his tiny finger on Seungcheol’s hand, caressing his skin gently as if he lulled his leader by doing this touch.

However it made the older snuggling his nose onto Jihoon’s nape which shivered his spine. If only he did not have a good self-control, his wild mind would drive him crazy to make out by a slight touch. Nevertheless he grasped on the edge of blanket tightly. He sighed and tried to have a good sleep right now.

“Good night leader.” He uttered silently while his eyes slowly closed. A vague voice he blurted to greet the leader secretly woke him. Seungcheol brushed his lips against Jihoon’s nape in gentle touch which brought no surprise in case he wanted the younger to have a good sleep like him too, so he needed to do it gentle. Afterwards Seungcheol drove him back to the dreamland quietly.

 

—

 

 

It was another night after that sleeping together inside the studio brought a chaos for Jihoon only. He had spent times with the Pristin members. He gave out some good advice, along with Bumzu and other composer also his Seventeen members. He caught a slight glance that Seungcheol gave to him during the presentation as if he was a proud one of watching Jihoon did some feedback to their junior.

A minute of the moment, Jihoon found himself solitude from the outside. His hand gripped a pen, the paper that he got from his fansite as a birthday present still empty from song lyrics for thirty minutes. He realised he was fantasising nothing. His mind went blank, just like the paper. He hoped he mused about Seungcheol again but today it was none. He was unable to keep drawing Seungcheol through his song, all the feeling he poured into the song that everyone thought it was their song — actually perhaps their story line was similar with Jihoon had so far. Another possibility, they loved angsty song.

Door was swung open. Seungcheol brought two mugs for them. He planned to get the boy home with him. The leader closed the door again, not forgetting to lock it so they would be able to focus on their work before he took a seat beside Jihoon just like the regular thing happened whenever they worked together.

“Ji…” The younger solely hummed to retort the latter. Seungcheol sighed heavily, having a thought that his producer perhaps had a bad mood out of nowhere. His eyes played on screening the monitor that was left in sleep mode before. He played some good songs that only him and Jihoon knew it well. He scrolled the playlist, checking if the latter added some songs that he made or someone released just now. He found none. Next his eyes turned to Jihoon’s finger, he pulled the pen from his grip and made his turn to make one for Jihoon.

“I will work on this project alone, you could go home, hyung.” He suddenly spoke up after a long silence settled inside the studio. Seungcheol ignored him and humming nonchalantly.

“Hyung…” Jihoon tried to get his attention and dismissed the latter from his area. Well- Seungcheol glared at him then pouting as if he was scolded. The younger could not say anything if the elder made an effort of pouting. Jihoon was weak of Seungcheol, he could not say no even if in the future the elder would ask him to hurt himself, he would not say no.

“Hyung…” The younger whimpered. The elder chuckled. “Stop being like this.” Jihoon gave up and let the leader stayed in his studio.

Minute by minute, hour by hour, it had ran out, they needed to get home as soon as possible before anyone could nag them by living longer there than they supposed to be. Seungcheol poured out any words in his book that he saved for the production needs while Jihoon occupied his mind to not brag any sad songs in their next album. Both of them was sitting in a hush.

Seungcheol turned to his side, observed the petite figure beside him with so much devotion in his eyes. “Beautiful.” Jihoon’s cheek turned into a pale pink when he heard it. He knew Seungcheol looking at him right now and lapping his chin.

“You know it, right? You’re the one one who took my eyes in alert mode since you’re so dangerous.” The smaller male sighed.

“The fans will be crazy if you try the pick-up line like that for them.” He instantly drove the topic for not taking his hope high to mentioned the fans for a retort. Seungcheol giggled. Jihoon kept his eyes not turning so he would not meet the elder’s eyes.

“I did not do it for them.” Jihoon cocked a brow. “It’s for you.” The elder added. Again, his cheek was in pink, feeling warmth throughout his puffy cheek. Seungcheol clicked his tongue, pinched slightly at the younger’s cheek and ruffled his hair.

“Look at me.” He said. Jihoon mustered his guts swiftly to obey the latter, then they locked their eyes. “What do you see in my eyes?”

“Myself.”

Seungcheol shook his head and smiled. “It’s wrong.”

“Then?”

“My universe.” He pulled Jihoon into his embrace. He was so shy to tell how much he adored the younger. Both of them felt the cheeks growing pink.

“Hyung…”

“Don’t break it.” He tried to bury his nose on the younger’s neck. “Jihoon.”

Jihoon hummed. He attempted to not give a clear answer since he occupied by sniffling the scent of Seungcheol. “You know the means of no words needed between us, right?” The younger nodded as he filled his lungs with more Seungcheol’s aroma.

“What is it?”

“Hyung will always think that I’m special, also hyung will always adore me like none else will beat your talent of fanboying over me.”

“You miss many.” Seungcheol pulled himself to break the chain between them. “It’s more.”

Jihoon left a burdensome sigh of his own. “I don’t miss any.”

“Okay, then—“ He muted for a second, “what’s the meaning of ‘no words needed between us’, Jihoon?”

“It’s clear that you are the root of my happiness, hyung, I’m glad to have you by my side so I don’t have any words that able to elucidate my appreciation referring to you.”

Seungcheol tugged his lips upwards in various nuance by a smile. “Glad…” The elder titled his head to the side. “You don’t leave any sense out, do you?”

Jihoon was speechless. He did not dare to speak up his feeling directly, he was quite hard to do it. “Spill it.”

“That’s all, I guess.”

“You’re right. It’s same with my definition of our phrase.” Somehow Jihoon’s heart felt it sinking. It was bleeding without a reason. The younger did not realise that Seungcheol found a strange look on his face. It was like an open book for him.

“Jihoon,” he tried to lift his chin up, “you are my reason of being happy and enjoying the life.”

He baffled at the elder’s words. “Meaning?”

“No words needed between us, no words that enough to make you believe how I love you, Jihoon—“ He got closer to Jihoon, the close proximity that made each other hearing and sensing their breathe. The younger hitched a surprise sound silently. Seungcheol clicked his tongue in amusement, as if he never believed himself of making Jihoon shy effortlessly, “no words are able to describe what love I have for you.”

“As brother and friends.”

Seungcheol shook his head, making a slight bump by his nose to Jihoon’s nose. “A soulmate.”

“A companion, the feeling you have for me, I feel it too, Jihoon.” His face became dark as the gloom popped out of nowhere filling the room. “But you have doubted me many times.”

Jihoon lingered silent for some moments, ending up of hearing Seungcheol’s sincere tête-à-tête.

“You are reluctant to believe. It hurts, actually.” Seungcheol’s tone became deep. “Perhaps I’m untrustworthy for you?”

The younger disagreed. “No, hyung. But I’m hesitating about everything.”  He forced a bashful smile. “I’m afraid to be heartbroken alone.”

“But I feel broken here whenever you doubt me.” He whined secretly.

“Sorry, hyung, I thought you were joking whenever you told me that I was loved by you.” His head bent down right away. His mind went crazy, mixing between regret and incertitude.

“Look at me, don’t make me losing a hope of being yours, Jihoon.” Seungcheol grabbed the younger’s hand and kept it in his grip while the latter became mute, not willing to face the elder.

“Lee Jihoon,” the elder’s voice seemed dejected by any means, “look at me, cute.” He put the last word as a trigger to make Jihoon lifting his head and locking their gaze. “I’m not cute, hyung.”

“You are.” The latter groaned as he kept being mentioned of his cuteness thou he never felt he was cute either. Seungcheol ruffled his hair.

“We change the topic?”

A small smile that appeared on Seungcheol’s lips told otherwise. “I just want to lighten up our mood.” He rolled his eyes annoyingly. “Don’t be a like that.”

“But I just want to be a good only for you.”

Jihoon lost a word when his leader said like that. “Are you something that—“

“I just want to be yours, that’s all. Don’t make me begging.”

“I want to make you begging.” A wry smile was drawn on the petite producer’s face. The mood became a bit hotter, lighter than before which it was good for them too.

Instantly, Seungcheol cupped Jihoon’s cheek with his own palms, staring into the younger’s eyes as he fell deeper into his own admiration towards him. “Don’t doubt myself and hurt yourself about this mutual feeling, Jihoon.”

“But—“

“No, just no, don’t doubt me, I love you, remember that.” He reclaimed. Jihoon nodded and slowly his palm found to react, leisurely laying circled Seungcheol’s neck. Without further ado, the alpha of the group pressed his lips against Jihoon’s temple. It was a long, sweet, and soft kiss. Jihoon needed no additional explanation of the latter’s kiss. All he knew, Seungcheol would love him, no need to doubt him, no need to expect more, no need to hurt himself.

“Just take brotherly love on others about me, but don’t take only brotherly love on yourself from me. You are more special for me.” Seungcheol said, between the pause of his time to kiss the younger. Jihoon merely sighed, nodding without a word to reply on. The elder found his track on kissing Jihoon. Yet, an interruption occurred by a notification from Jihoon’s phone. It was a calling. Seungcheol whined as he glanced at the screen.

“See,” he started to complain, “you are dangerous, which one of us is totally owned by my member?” Jihoon giggled at his childish side, however, he never seen the latter would be so jealous like this before. He grabbed his phone and answered the call.

“Jihoon-ah..”

“Yes, hyung?” He tried hardly to not laugh over the latter’s expression who being pissed off because of a call. “I need a help and Shua doesn't help me.”

He sighed. “Hyung, but I have a work here.”

“With Seungcheol?” Jihoon nodded although the caller might not see his nod, still he gave no words. “See, he always kidnap you from me, please, Jihoon-ah, your Shua hyung give no help at all.”

“Someone got a fight again?” Seungcheol silently muttered. Jihoon bobbed his head. “Hang up the call, tck, he needs to solve it by himself and not steal someone’s boyfriend anymore.” The latter was about to burst into laughter when he heard two people fighting in the same times if Seungcheol did not mention the sensitive words.

He muted and stared to Seungcheol’s eyes. “What?” The elder seemed really annoyed this time. Jihoon hanged up the call and threw his phone to sofa. “Don’t be jealous, I’m not your boyfriend.”

Seungcheol jerked closer to kiss Jihoon’s lips. “I don’t receive any complaints further more about our status from others, you are mine, Lee Jihoon,” he said after a shocking kiss that Jihoon received. He smirked and turned to continue scrolling down the playlist. He smiled proudly while the younger was being a blank state. He was quite shocked.

 

 

In the end, they stayed again in the studio until the morning came, so they got back to their dorm while at the dorm…

“Hong Shua! Help me~” He whined. Joshua shook his head and leaving the latter in laughter. He was seriously satisfied to bully the older after being bullied. They never knew how to stop their care by bullying each other or making the members worried about them, let’s included those who staying in the studio for a night.

“Huh, I will get Jihoon as my allies.” Jeonghan again started the war. Joshua giggled silently at his room. “I wonder how Seungcheol do taking his back to his lane.” He retorted. Seungkwan glanced. “You both better make up your own way of loving each other, please learn from Jihoon hyung and Seungcheol hyung.” The younger advised. Joshua rolled his eyes, ruffling the younger’s hair before getting to his bed to check some cover songs.

 

-끝-

 

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