2016

Baekhyun takes a sip of his coffee, a heavy espresso that may help with his boss’ shouting through mondays. He sighs and takes a look to the window, to the big, loud and heavy city he didn’t miss on his December vacations. It’s an active morning, the first of the year, the streets are already full of busy people going here and there, New Year’s Eve forgotten in a blink of an eye.

“You must be grateful you have a relaxed office work that starts at nine.” His boss’ words have become a motto for each morning. He looks at the clock and decides he has used enough time playing with the plastic spoon between his fingers.

Coming out of the shop with a cup in one hand and a suitcase in the other, he is suddenly pushed aside making his coffee land on him, luckily the hot liquid doesn’t reach his skin.

“Hey!” he says exasperated taking a look at his ruined coat before looking at the stranger.

“Sorry,” said stranger is a young and raven-haired man, taller than Baekhyun, paler and thinner too. His equally dark and deep eyes lock with his.

Rarely, the traffic noise, the rushed people and the coffee stains cease to be bothersome. Baekhyun is unsure about it, but his face seems familiar, particularly his eyes. Right behind a nostalgic feeling that hits his chest, even more feelings come to the frame. He can’t categorize them and that makes him slightly anxious.

Maybe the man feels the same because he is still looking at Baekhyun even if he keeps walking away, slower this time. Even when he collides with another person in front of him.

“Sorry,” he says again and this time Baekhyun notices the camera the man is holding, almost buried to his chest. “Sorry,” and even if his eyes are fixed in this new person, Baekhyun still feels it’s directed towards him.

He begins to run again after saying sorry for a third time. With him gone, Baekhyun breaks the trance clearing his throat. He throws away his coffee, takes off his coat cursing at the cold and rushes to work.

***

1041

The Yeondeunghoe is the favorite time of the year for Baekhyun. To see the lotus lanterns lighting up and raising to the sky is wonderful. That’s why he doesn’t understand how someone can be as sad as the child in front of him.

He must be around the same age as Baekhyun but he looks bony and more delicate. To see him alone tears Baekhyun’s own happiness for some reason, therefore he crouches down to his level.

The child doesn’t talk much, but answers all the questions Baekhyun can think about. His name is Yixing, he is ten years old and he has been waiting for his mother to arrive for him for a really long time. Baekhyun realizes his mom must be worried for him too, but he refuses to leave Yixing alone.

A rice cake he decides to share seems to lighten up the mood of his new friend. Baekhyun gets bored and after some time in silence he gives some options to Yixing. The latter refuses everything except for one thing, to hear a story.

“Give me your hands.” Baekhyun says sitting in front of Yixing. The latter looks at him warily, but obeys. “The men are children of the sun,” he opens Yixing’s palm and joins it with his own. “The women are children from the earth,” he interlaces their fingers ignoring the itchy feeling he receives. “The immortals were children from the moon, which was born from the sun and earth.”

“What is an immortal?”

“Aish, just listen. They said immortal humans had such strength, that they threatened the Gods.” His mother loved to tell him the same tale over and over again, and Baekhyun would never get tired of hearing it. At night, she would embrace him and, while playing with his fingers, she would start to whisper until he fell asleep. Even if years have passed by, Baekhyun still remembers the tale with each word. “A God then said, that the immortals should be separated, each one splitted in two.”

On said part of the tale, Baekhyun should stop interlacing the fingers. He overlooks it but Yixing doesn’t seem to care.

“Another God reconstructed them without their half. Each half will forever long for the other since the other has half of their soul.”

“They haven’t find each other?” Yixing asks with honest curiosity, making Baekhyun smile. “What will happen when they do?” Baekhyun is about to answer when Yixing drops his hand and stands up. He runs towards his mother who hugs him tightly.

***

2016

Coincidence, it’s a peculiar thing Baekhyun never put an eye on, yet he finds himself wondering about the odds after finding the same man twice in different parts of the city. Thinking about it, it is a big city and maybe he has found more people twice or even thrice, but no one that caught his attention at first sight. No one like the man in front of him.

Baekhyun acts unbothered by his presence and keeps eating his meal in the outside part of his favorite restaurant. He would deny he has been taking glances of the man behind his newspaper.

Said man keeps taking photos of the big buildings around them, boring ones, not the ones you would like to stare at in an art gallery, but Baekhyun doesn’t know about art these days, anyway. He keeps smiling at his camera and the brunette can’t stop himself from thinking he looks appealing, cute even.

“Who is he?”

Baekhyun had forgotten about the presence of his best friend by now. Kyungsoo chews his stew and stares at him with his curious eyes.

“No idea,” he shrugs and tries to dismiss the topic taking a big sip of his orange juice.

“You have been looking at him every five seconds.” He ignores the whine the brunette comes up with in response. “It’s disgusting, so please go and talk to him instead of hiding yourself behind a backwards newspaper.”

Baekhyun chokes on his juice as he realizes it is indeed backwards. When trying to fix it, he suddenly meets with the stranger’s camera pointing at his direction. After taking a photo, he slowly lowers the camera and they lock eyes. He looks unsure, uneasy, just like the feeling Baekhyun gets when seeing him; the first day, today and the days to come when he finds him in different places of the city, always taking pictures.

***

1455

Baekhyun walks frantic around the battlefield struggling with a sore body. His arms and legs feel heavy, but probably the worst part is the sharp pain in his lower back, it forcing him to go slower than wanted. Even in his stunned state, with a constant buzz on his ears, he hears someone yelling at him to wait for help. He won’t listen, neither will he answer. If someone asked him for who he was fighting for, he wouldn’t know how to answer, not even with the name of his lord.

He can see injured men all over the place, and a familiar banner waving with the wind. He almost trips from someone laying on the floor, but he doesn’t stop, still looking for the only one that matters.

“Baekhyun,” someone says behind him. He turns to face Yixing with a tired smile. Baekhyun feels relief as he hugs the man. The pain on his back increases with the embrace, but he refuses to let go. “I am good.”

Baekhyun inspects the man’s body to find a small wound at his sides, but nothing more and he smiles tiredly as he lets himself be held by Yixing as he speaks. He barely catches what he is trying to say when everything becomes dark.

In a half awake state, he hears Yixing trying to bring him to conscious, concern in his voice, and Baekhyun even feels when he is carried and placed in a warmer floor. Before fading away, regretful, he still wonders why he ended in a war like this. Why was he the one to step forward when their lord was asking for men if he, since kid, has been anything but strong, nor fit to battle.

Still, as soon as he feels a warm hand caressing his head and hears soothing words, his doubts disappear. It only took one man for him to be eager and join a battlefield. Surely, he would follow Yixing again to another one as soon as he healed.

***

2016

“Zhang Yixing,” the man holds his hand up to Baekhyun to shake it.

Baekhyun is not that type of person who avoids strangers, he has never been shy, he isn’t that person who thinks before acting, clearly. Now standing before a stranger and after saying a, maybe too loud, ‘hello’ he isn’t sure why this accidental encounter is making him as nervous as he was at first grade’s spring festival.

“Byun Baekhyun,” he blurts and takes the hand in a grip. One, two, three shakes and the hands stay still.

Baekhyun stares at the man and prays for him not being the only one feeling unbearable to let go. His hands are surprisingly soft, warm and perfect size to entangle. The man smiles, a dimple forming in his right cheek, and let’s go painfully slowly.

The brunette recovers certain lucidity, now sure he heard that name somewhere else. It rings so familiar in his mind that he repeats the name. It rolls in his tongue like it was his own, with the proper pronunciation and a comfortable feeling. Yixing seems taken aback at it but he stays still, the disorientation in his face fading.

“Sorry about your coffee,” he inquires, “the first day.” He blurts like Baekhyun had forgotten. He hadn’t and the joy he feels about him not forgetting either surprises him.

Baekhyun wants to respond but is cut by other man calling for Yixing at the other side of the street. The latter smiles apologetic and bids farewell.

“See you around,” the brunette says making him turn at the middle of the street. He nods with a smile and he is gone. Baekhyun will have time to wonder why does a simple sentence he has said thousands of times sounds extremely compromising.

He will also have time to gag and shame himself for thinking spring looks brighter this year.

***

1870

Baekhyun sits at the first row of the theater contemplating the empty stage. He has always loved the curtains, the chandeliers, the orchestra and the operas. They gave him an enthusiastic feeling too passionate to forget. He wished to sing, to perform, to engage the public in euphoria.

Those dreams would come true in another life, where he would also find the man that takes a sit as his side.

“Do you think that’s possible? What he did?” Yixing asks with a thoughtful position. Baekhyun doesn’t need more words to know the man is talking about the opera they saw an hour ago. ‘Faust’ is one of Baekhyun’s favorites, it tells the story about an aging scholar who asks and receives infernal guidance after feeling his life lacked of love and experiences.

“I thought we believed everything was possible,” Baekhyun smiles as he turns to friend. Yixing remains silent as he has always been the sceptical one.

Baekhyun sighs and tries to remember in which life Yixing was the believer, in some others he has also been the adventurer. There were also times where he would only get them in trouble and Baekhyun would have regret falling for him once again.

The occasions where they were together could be the sweetest or the sourest. The occasions where they were apart could be the loneliest or mildest. Baekhyun remembered each one of the lives as if they happened yesterday, even the ones that didn’t recall the others.

On this one, he was grateful he could experience a common life with Yixing at his side as a friend in the most platonic way. Yixing finally agrees that if he can remember past lives, maybe he can summon Méphistophélès and take a youth elixir in one. His smile, even with his face full of wrinkles, is purely charming and Baekhyun is sure that’s the feature that remains untouchable through eras.

***

2016

The newspaper, of course, that’s where the name recalls, even if Baekhyun still feels there is even more.

“Photo by Zhang Yixing.” At the urban section, below every picture of buildings. It’s like a collage, the urban section is stocked with photos by the same man. There are also small pictures of more serene parts of the city in smaller sections. Turning the next page, Baekhyun finds himself in a picture, passing by his favorite restaurant.

He decides to ignore the fact until, five mornings after, he finds another trace of him at the urban section. Not the last, that’s what it seems a week after that.

He smiles at the 4th picture one Friday morning, biting his fingers, hand under his chin.

“It’s creepy.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo who is still not over with his cappuccino.

“And I guess leaving anonymous desserts on your boss’ door every monday isn’t, in any way, creepy.” The brunette moves slightly to his side foreseeing the hit he was going to receive and smiles at the slight blush forming on his friend’s cheeks.

He turns his attention to his Friday biscuit while reading the newspaper, properly this time. Not too late he is distracted by the movement of the city, to be more precise, by someone who is suddenly walking at the other side of the street. He stands up abruptly and peeks outside while holding himself of the door frame.

“Yixing,” he calls with a wave of hand and a smile. Yixing turns to him and this time Baekhyun can categorize his feelings as excitement.

***

1937

The dim light behind the small pub bar is enough for both men to find and hold each other. Baekhyun keeps both hands on the other man’s waist bringing him closer. Yixing prefers to place one hand on the nape and the other at the end of Baekhyun’s shirt. Both share lazy and drunk smiles, and Baekhyun can’t stop himself from scrunching his nose, trying to be charming.

He gets closer, dangerously closer, and realizes Yixing can barely focus on him, not like Baekhyun can do it either. He smells the alcohol, and maybe something more, lingering in the other’s mouth and wonders how that could be so alluring at the moment.

These are difficult moments, the country dealing with economic problems, and disputes on the street every now and then should be what matters on Baekhyun’s mind, not another man. Not when the peace seems so fragile, or when being in love is like walking on a tightrope.

Baekhyun could see the reprehensible faces from his own teammates on the military as he closed his eyes. He could recall that time when he also judged a small boy for falling in love with another one. Even though, at the moment, those voices can’t reach to him.

There is so much to worry about outside an embrace, but not as important as Baekhyun’s own feelings. He can even forget that, tomorrow, he will come back to his squadron as Yixing comes back to his profession at the hospital.

Eager, Baekhyun takes the first step and places a small peck on Yixing’s lips, confident he won’t be rejected. Yixing indeed accepts it and returns with a more greedy and impatient kiss.

***

2016

Yixing’s laugh, quite bubbly and contagious, fills the empty halls. It’s particularly easy to make him burst in laughter and forget about the outside world. Baekhyun adores that naive and vivid semblance he carries around.

He also adores the small dimple that appears when he smiles, the sweet coffee scent on his coat, his soft voice and the passion in his eyes when he talks about art and his photographs. Baekhyun finds even more lovable details on the man that’s walking him to his apartment with each step. Still, what he loves the most at the moment is how nicely their fingers can intertwine.

They arrive to Baekhyun’s apartment between a slow kiss. Yixing keeps fondling his hand and Baekhyun remains overwhelmed how they could fall towards each other so freely, natural and without misunderstandings.

He also remembers how Yixing can’t stay for the afternoon due to a meeting. The latter seems to notice the sudden drop of the mood and smiles holding Baekhyun's cheeks.

“Aiyo. Someone is going to miss me.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at the statement and pushes Yixing playfully giving him a peck before entering his apartment. Leaning his back against the door, Baekhyun smiles biting his lips. He will reproach himself for acting like a teenager on another day.

***

December

Click. There goes another picture for Yixing’s album, one Baekhyun is almost sure has plenty pictures of him. He would be grateful if he stopped taking pictures of him while eating.

“Delete that one.” Baekhyun says as he fixes his christmas hat and cleans the remaining cream of his face. “Yixing.”

“But you look cute here.”

Baekhyun should have known the answer even before asking. He sighs and takes a look to the window, to the big, cheerful and decorated city he may miss on his December vacations. He could send photo cards to his boss and friends using Yixing’s camera when he is already far away.

Yixing keeps scrolling the photos on his camera gallery smiling and humming a Christmas song. A certain familiar feeling comes as fast and fresh as the snow in the morning. Baekhyun doesn’t think much about it and waits for the man to turn at him. When Yixing does, he stops humming, almost if he knows what Baekhyun is going to give him.

“I love you.”