my sunshine.
Description
As time goes by, here we are. Celebrating our 7th month together as an official couple. Can you believe it? We've been together for seven months, time flies so fast.
Let me start my rambling, hm?
Thank you for always being there for me, thank you for always accepting me despite my continious idiocy towards a few decisions I can barely handle. Thank you for being a shoulder I can lean on in times of being moody and being down. Your hugs, cuddles, warmth; your positive outlook about things when you try to cheer me up always had helped me.
Words aren't enough to thank you for being such a patient girlfriend to me; really- Thank you so much.
Anyway, this greeting or letter of mine is different than the others. You see, can you still remember the first time we met? Literally. Literally the first time we met? I was so different way back then- I know, I know- not much of a better person than now; If I could even recall, we were in another place that time. I will never forget how we first met, meeting you will always be the best thing that happened to me. You were such a softie and I was everything a havoc could ever build. It was a fine day when I saw you, I introduced myself; and when you faced me, my knees felt weak. I knew I wanted you from that day- but sadly, things were complicated and I didn't want such a kind person to really be with me; I knew it wouldn't end well.
You were such a sweetheart. You were so perfect; in such short span of time, I was loved- cared genuinely. I would never forget that and again, I am sorry for disappearing as I was unstable that time. I knew- somehow I knew it you came back to me. I felt it; I knew it was you once again. I would never question nor reveal it with anyone, it stayed like that for a month or two. It would hurt you and I knew the possibilities of you running away if you knew that I knew it was you. So I kept quiet- you were mine and I didn't know why I didn't know why I should let others know. You stayed. You know what I mean, I regret nothing & I don't regret keeping it for such a long time.
You're a masterpiece that's too pure and perfect; that's the moment I knew, I must be really in love. Hell, I never even wanted a relationship but you're here. I never even planned all my life to have someone impregnated by me- Family was just too big of a responsibility to me before- I know it's cliche, but it's literally love.
The way we talked to each other everyday, I've never felt so safe and peaceful. The way we adjusted to each other's time was a miracle to me, I never adjust myself for someone before as much as I have made effort with you. It was a crazy ride. The way you described yourself, you told me you were boring. No, you were wrong. You're one of the fun persons that I met, and I'm thankful that I encountered it.
People may not see it as you caved yourself in- in which I am lowkey sad about- but I understand and I'll let you mingle on your own and be comfortable around people. Remember what I told you that time? I told you you're not what you think you are but you continued insisting everything negative about you. If you only knew how I wanted to keep those mout shut for such lies.
I kind of hoped you'd see yourself in my own perspective and see how awesome you are to me.
I won't say the best part the first time we talked, I'll save that for later. I can't help but laugh because you were too formal that time, was I too mean for you to act that way before? It was such a surprise you were able to adjust to my rudeness. When we were getting casual, you were blushing at first, until both of us finally felt comfortable talking to each other. Continuin about our first meeting, I remember reading such thriller book- hell it was under that cherry blossom tree, right? We walked that time, I didn't bother tell you I had a car with me because I wanted to spend my time with you that time, oh, yes- I know; I remember stuff happening.
Fast forward; you were my Sunshine- the first time. Ah, what a majestic time it was- I left for a week due to conflicts I am with (once again). You told me goodluck and wished me the best, that's when I started noticing things. So I came back right away- leaving everything behind. You told me that you'll be there if ever I'd come back and you were right. You shared your love for the stars and you were more than ecstatic. I loved the sky- the whole galaxy and I wouldn't stop talking about it. Remember what you wished for that time? Because I do.
"Someone please take me to see the stars and I'll love you. "
And I knew why I came back. I wanted to take you back to see the stars- we were even wearing our couple radish outfit that time; you looked so cute, . That's how much I want to prove you that I really love you. But seems like conflict is quite married to me and won't just leave us alone that time. Though, a competition is a competition. You were mine first but the feeling of her giving much more made me lose my confidence. After all the troubles, yes, I did lose my confidence right away. It was the first. God, I knew it was the right moment to tell you that I knew. It was you all along.
It was such a stressful day, I hated and loved it at the same time. Let's not bring that up- But hey, we fixed stuff like an adult we are and we're now good- we decided to be truthful of each other and moved forward. I undestood well why things ended up on such situation but it's never gonna be a reason why I'd leave you.
That was one of the happiest moment that happened in my entire life; I can't believe that it has been 9 months since we met. What can I say? I'm actually glad that I waited for you. Waiting for you is actually worth it, very worth it. You're the source of my happiness and you're my everything.
I love you.
I just can't believe that you're really mine, I'm thankful and ecstatic to be with you. They asked me, out of all the girls, why I picked you. I hated getting such questions- especially when one girl we both barely knew asked me why I am staying with such type of girl. I told her, you're the perfect match for me. Not because you're Yongsun, but because you're the only girl who can bring the best out of me, these couple months with you, you really took care of me with your whole heart.
Genuine. I felt it.
I feel very happy and thankful for everything; I feel like, waiting for you may be the hardest thing for me, but I am damn sure that it's worth it. Heck, I am still laughing til I am writing this letter remembering that I created so many accounts just to get back on you, I nagged on Kangmin on how much I wanted you back- how every 6am you'd wake up- how you became a part of my routine. How much I regret leaving without notice and how much I am still trying to look for you. Hell- she's someone I'd thank for a lifetime- she found you at times I was about to give up and just call it quits without proper closure. I'm very happy that Miru, Kangmin and Eunseo were so supportive of me. Eunseo was on hiatus that time but came back just to check on us- it was flattering enough to have them three; I treasure them just as much I treasure you that's why I wanted you to join us more.
I can’t help it, okay? I felt like I’m going to regret and feel horrid if I won’t return to you. Why? Ever since I met you, I feel like I’m already home. We didn’t care about other people that time because what mattered to me is only you. You’re a different girl, until today, I tell that to you everytime you ask me why I chose you. Words still can't express how different you are to those girls you are being jealous of. If only you knew.
You’re special to me, I love you so much and you’re the reason why I’m smiling, why I am happy. You’re the reason why I always look forward to wake up every 6am; seeing your face and feeling your arms around my waist every morning is my type of morning; only you get to do that with me. Hell, we even make countdowns til we reach the weekend just to spend good amount of time with each other.
What I love about you, is that you always surprise me in a good way. Maybe I have never met someone as patient as you. Someone as understanding as you. Someone so kind. What did I even deserve to be surprised and loved by a wonderful woman like you? The way your hand will keep my hand warm every time I feel cold, every time you will hug me, every time you shower kisses all over my face, and the way we kiss. All of it, I always cherish those moments with you.
I wish I can kiss all your worries away; all those days I wasn't able to make you feel safe and yet I caused that terrible feeling. I'm so sorry. I loved you a little too deeply that I make stupid decisions in life. Maybe I had my own version of my weird paranoia. It's awful and all. I'm sorry again.
You must be wondering why I’m writing this, hmm? If you will ask me, it’s our 7th monthsary, and it’s rare for me to write this kind of letter every time I think of you. I know you know that I write long poems and diary post but this time, I want everything to be special and perfect. This time, I want the two of us to enjoy this moment together. You matter to me and you’re the only one who brings out the best in me. I don’t care what other people say about you or me, as long we’re together, I’m good. It’s us. Us against the world. (No, your fanboys would chase me with a knife) Kidding aside, 9 months has passed and we grew closer to each other. We may be busy now, but our free times together will show how our wait is going to be worth it.
I love you, Kim Yongsun, I really do. Ever since I met you, there’s a red thread that’s already attached between the two of us. It may be strangled because of the hardships we encountered it; I’m glad to say that it didn’t break. I’m happy that the connection between the two of us became stronger. I have prepared this on hand with the help of Jinri, Miru and Kangmin, of course. I would like to thank them a lot lot lot for helping me with this. To make our relationship stronger, even though it’s already strong at this point. I decided to ask you an important question; before that, let me just remind you of something. I wasn’t able to save it, but I can still remember how it happened.
I was smiling at you, I can’t believe how you made me smile with your simple gestures; I felt something that made my blood rush and it’s making my heart beat faster. It was that time you told me you were pregnant. I remember I was even complaining to Momo about how much of a weirdo you were for eating weird combos of food- I should have known. I was such a turtle-head.
So, now that you’re my girlfriend, my future. This girl that I’m talking about matters to me the most, she’s my other half; she’s my soul mate; my princess; my queen; my empress; my Goddess; my baby; my girl; my sunshine; and my Yongsun. Oh, no. She’s not just a girl. Kim Yongsun is one of a kind and I love her, I really love her with my whole heart. Sometimes, when you get jealous of other people, I look at myself and think if I can make you feel loved enough? Until know I always wondered - I wish that one day, I can keep those insecurities away because you're all I am focused on - I can’t even say the proper words and phrases every time I think about you, you make me smile and I thank God for bringing this wonderful angel in this world full of phakes.
I know that the two of us won’t hurt each other. There may be some times that two of us will tease each other; you know that I can’t tease you because I’m whipped for you. It’s just that, I really love you, Yongsun. I trust you in everything and I know you’re doing the same. Everything about you is perfect and worth it, I can’t even express how much glad I am to have you beside me. I love it every time the two of us will be clingy, I love it when your arms are around my waist while my left hand is on your back, while my right hand will be running around your hair to fix it.
So, the Kim Yongsun that I am with now; my girlfriend. You look someone who’s very familiar, you look like my girlfriend. But this time, you really look familiar to me and I feel very close with you. You look like my future wife, Kim Yongsun.
I know, words aren’t enough to tell you and make you feel how much I’ve been thinking about you. We already act like we’re already married, but this time, will you wear this rings for me? Will you accept this ring, as a symbol not only of our love, but of our future and happiness together?
A ring isn’t enough, but it will symbolize how pure and true our feelings for each other. I love you, Yongsun. However, I guess it’s time to change your surname, baby.
Will you be Hong Yongsun? Will you be literally my wife?
Most especially, will you marry me?
notyourdaddy
Me: haha wanna know what's more lit??
Miru: wot
Me: THIS PLAYLIST I MADE FOR YONGSUN!
Miru: SH*T'S LIT FAM *flips*
Jinri: *bangs head against the wall*
Eunseo: SCREEEEEEEEEEECHES
Bambam: *FLIPS WITH MIRU*
Me: *pinches nose bridge in distress*
Yongsun: can't tell you, it's a soup-rise!
Jonghyun: is it soup?
Yongsun: i soup-pose it could be haha
Jonghyun: stOP THAT
Yongsun: stoup what?
Jonghyun: saying soup puns
Yongsun: no
Yongsun: soup
Yongsun: if i go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn i'm kicking you out
Jonghyun: [drinking coffee from a bowl] ...
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Layouts by vigour! Sneaking in to say congratulations.
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