Dee here *click*

Dee Dee smile here *click* *click* 

You look beautiful Dee *click*

Look here Dee *click*

Dee *click*

*click* *click*

Flashes of camera are blinding me but I stay rooted on my spot as I gave in to all of their requests. I showed my "million dollar smile" as to what the netizens call it while looking at the different directions giving the media pictures to feasts.

I am now here making it big in Hollywood. Who would have thought right?! But then look at me now gracing the red carpet of the premier of my 7th movie for this year only.

I have a totally different life now. Everyone calls me Dee here and not anymore Sandara or Dara. They linked my name with the terms such as "Asia's pride", "Rising Goddess", "Acting Prodigy" and "The next Big One". I've only been here in the US for 2 years but having offers such as modelling, acting and even performing showered upon me just a week after my first movie was released was just overwhelming.

I  can just remember how it started...

-Flashback-

I felt really sad, down and just mixed emotions to the point that I felt like having depression and anxiety at once which ofcourse felt terrible. It was the point of 2ne1's  disbandment that I just broke down. At some point I knew it was coming but hearing it for real was truly another level. I did not want to talk to anyone and I felt lost.

Even if I wanted to talk about it I don't know who to approach. I can't bring myself too see Umma or Thunder or even Durami cause I don't want them to feel burden about it. I can't talk to CL cause she's in America and even if I want to call her I can't help but hesitate cause I know she is also struggling in there. I can't talk to Bom because I know she will just blame herself again just like how she always react whenever we see each other. I don't want to see her cry. My friends? I do