Junmyeon pecked younger's dimple, watching it go deeper and giggles emit from the owner of such cute voice, dimple and face and body. Yixing was everything Junmyeon could ever ask for, Yixing danced, he knew many instruments, he was a listener― the list could go on, honestly.

He lifted his head a little, let Yixing's head rest right below it and then he rested his chin on the fluffy black hair, his arms were around the dancer's small waist, it was another usual Saturday and another usual cuddling session before Yixing would leave to make dinner and Junmyeon would clean up their room, and both of them would have dinner, cuddle each other and fall asleep on their soft bed.

"Junnie?" Younger called. 

Junmyeon hummed in reply, a bit concerned about the dancer's worried tone. 

"I wanna marry you."

He was sure he stopped breathing, his limbs froze, his mind went blank for a minute before it started showing how many things could wrong. They could break up right before their wedding, they could break up after a couple of months, anyone could loose life when they get drunk during their bachelor party, they could cheat (unknowingly, but still) by hooking up with some random girls at the party― oh, they could end up regretting having each other in their lives.

No, no, no, that shouldn't happen. "I― I'm sorry, Yixing, but I don't want to marry you."

They both shifted from their positions, Yixing looking hurt and tears on the rim of his eyes, he moves to the other side of the couch, brings his knees to his chest and pursues his lips after asking, "Why?"

So many things could go wrong. "Everything will go wrong." I could loose you, you might hate me, everything will fall apart when the rings slip on our fingers. It's always like that, happiest til they marry― and everything crashes down like house of cards.

Yixing bit his bottom lip. Nodded his head and stood up, "I'm going to sleep."

It was still seven in the evening.

~*~

Everything in this world is like house of cards, he knows it, despite those strong foundations people build for their house, it's waste, because one or the other day, it'll fall down, natural causes or psychological. Nothing which stands still can stay forever, yet alone for years without having it's base hurt. In ancient days, the married couples stayed til death because they promised to their elders, because they didn't want to bring bad names to their families, because it was an agreement which had both pros and cons equally to both parties.

Junmyeon's eyes burn, he wants to close them and sleep. But closing eyes means sleep, and sleep means Baekhyun suggesting him to go home and home meant facing a crying Yixing. Perhaps the burn was much, much better than his heart breaking all over again, collecting it in the morning and repeat it till his lover understands him― till he becomes brave enough to tell the reason.

"Hyung," A voice comes from his left, soft hands squeeze his shoulder with sympathy. "You should go home and rest, ya'know? It's late, plus, you are doing tomorrow's work― that's too much, don't you think?"

"Yeah," It's Jongdae, the eldest realizes, "Hyung, you can crash over for a night, okay? We'll call Yixing-hyung and tell him to pick you up or something."

"I'm fine, I'm fine." It's nowhere near convincing. His voice drips fatigue, his hands are shaking as a proof and his eyes are screaming for sleep.

"What's wrong?" Baekhyun questions. For some reason, he turns around in his chair, hugs the younger man and starts crying. Hot tears stream down like a cascade, wetting other's shirt, sobbing pathetically.

That night includes of him crying, telling his fears to his friends (and not the actual person who deserves to know), more sobbing, more words, some comfort, some rubs on his back, some offers of telling Yixing and many no, don't tell him.

~*~

The second marriage proposal in Kim Junmyeon's is after seven years. He's twenty-nine, he is the one gripping the box tightly in his hands, shaking a little, looking up at the man― who is only three years younger than him ― with hopeful and teary eyes. His teeth catch his bottom lip like prey, his throat dries more and more as