If I told you this was only gonna hurt…

 

“Do you like my brother?”

Kim Joonmyun looks over at Zhang Yifan in surprise. They are in the locker room changing after their PE class. Everyone else is already gone, but he didn't expect his friend to ask him that so suddenly. Granted, Zhang Yixing, Yifan’s younger brother, did confess to him yesterday. Joonmyun has yet to give the other boy an answer. He does like Yixing, but...he doesn't how Yifan would react. “I like him…” Joonmyun says after some time.

Yifan sighs. He figured, but he needed to make sure. He needs to make sure that Joonmyun understood what he would be getting himself into. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure, Yifan.”

“You do realize that this is just going to be painful for you.” The tall blonde crosses his arms over his chest “Yixing isn't normal. What if he gets a nosebleed? What if he faints? What if he’s in terrible pain? Can you handle that?”

Joonmyun isn't sure if he can. He knows that Yixing is suffering, but he wants to be there for him. He wants to hold him and tell him everything will be okay. He wants to be everything that Yixing can't be. He wants to be everything Yixing needs. The brunet nods “I can handle it.”

“What if he dies? Can you handle that?” Yifan stares at Joonmyun with eyes that look angry, sad and concerned all at once. “I know this cycle Joonmyun: you see the cute face you like, then you see the leukemia, and then you realize that you can't separate him from the leukemia so you remove yourself from the situation altogether.”

“I’m not like th--”

“Joonmyun, this is only going to hurt. You're going to fall in love with him. You're gonna watch the disease tear him apart. You're gonna suffer by watching your boyfriend dying on a hospital bed. Can you handle that?”

The smaller boy looks up at Yifan with determined eyes “Yes. I want to be with Yixing.”

The blonde nods as he picked up his books and leaves to go to his next class. Joonmyun waits until he's gone to press his back against the lockers and release a breath that he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. He had sounded so confident when he spoke to Yifan, but honestly, his best friend was right. There were a lot of things that could potentially go wrong in a relationship with Yixing. He likes the younger boy a lot, but he doesn’t know if he is really ready for all the hardship. He runs a hand through his hair; he doesn’t have much of a choice now. He had assured Yifan that he wouldn’t back out of the situation. Joonmyun assured him that he was ready. There was no going back now.

Joonmyun takes a breath as he gathers the rest of his things and heads to class. At least now he has an answer for Yixing. So much for a quiet third year.

---

“Yifan! Yifan!” Tao snapped his fingers in front of the student body president’s face. “Are you even listening?”

“I don’t think he is,” Sehun laughed.

Yifan shook his head “I was. Tao was rattling on about the uniforms again even though he knows that there’s nothing we can do to change them.”

Joonmyun chuckled and shook his head. His friend wasn’t completely coming out of left field with that one. Tao did complain about the uniforms a lot, mostly because he considered himself the school’s resident fashionista. He had only joined student council in order to get that changed. “As good a guess as that was, you’re actually wrong.”

Tao pouted and crossed his arms over his chest “Exactly. We were talking about what we’re going to do for the school festival. I think we should have a catboy cafe and we all dress up like cats.”

“Nobody wants to dress up according to your weird es Tao,” Jongdae, their treasurer, fake gagged “And I’m certainly not spending the student body’s money on it.”

“I think a cafe is a good idea,” Joonmyun spoke up.

“See?! Joon-hyung agrees!” Tao cheered.

Joonmyun smiled awkwardly “However, I think Jongdae is right. I don’t really want to dress up like a catboy either.”

Tao pouted again as Sehun chimed in “I got it! Why don’t we dress up like princes? The girls will love it!”

“That’s actually not a bad idea.”

“Certainly better than dressing up as catboys,” Jongdae sneered.

Tao threw an eraser at the other boy “Oh shut it.”

Joonmyun chuckled before looking over at the president “Yifan, what do you think?”

“What?” The tall blonde hadn't really been paying attention to the group. His mind was too preoccupied with something else. “Sure, whatever you say Joonmyun.”

“How is he the president again?” Jongdae asked. “He can't even pay attention in meetings.”

“You have no room to talk Jongdae-hyung,” Sehun made a face at the older boy. “You don't even pay attention half the time.” Granted sometimes Jongdae was actually doing work, but most of the time he was too busy playing games.

“I have a very important job that requires me to work during meetings!”

Sehun scoffed “Yeah so much work. That's definitely what's distracting you all the time.”

“What's got you so distracted Yifan-ge?” Tao asked ignoring Sehun and Jongdae. Joonmyun looked at the president too. Usually Yifan was on top of things, but lately it was like nothing could hold his attention for more than a few minutes, if that.

Yifan sighed. He had wanted to wait as long as possible before telling them, but maybe now was a good time. “My brother is coming to our school.”

“You have a brother?!” Tao, Sehun and Jongdae stared at Yifan in shock.

Joonmyun always forgot that those three hadn't known Yifan as long as he did. He knew about Yifan’s younger brother: Zhang Yixing. He was the opposite of his brother: shorter, brown hair and extremely friendly. Joonmyun couldn't remember Yixing completely, but from what he could pull from his memory were good things about the boy. There was also something else about Yixing that kept him in Joonmyun's memory, but he couldn't quite remember what it was.

“Is he younger or older?” Sehun asked.

“He’s younger than me, same age as Joonmyun.”

“Is he nice?” Jongdae inquired “Or is he mean like you?”

Yifan glared at the younger boy “I am not mean.”

“Says the guy who just glared at me.”

“Do me a favor and shut it Jongdae.”

The younger boy did as he was told while Tao snickered behind his hand. “So is he nice?” Sehun repeated the question.

“Yes, he’s nice,” Yifan groaned.

“So why are you so worried about it?”

“Are you worried he won't make friends?” Tao asked.

Jongdae broke his silence “We’ll be friends with him!”

“Yeah!” Sehun agreed.

Yifan shook his head “That's not it.”

“Then tell us what it is,” Joonmyun put a hand on his friend's shoulder.

Yifan looked around at his friends who were staring at him expectantly. He sighed “You have to promise not to tell anyone.” Not that he didn't trust them, but he didn't want the information about his brother spreading around. His friends nodded enthusiastically, ensuring him they wouldn't talk. “My brother is sick.”

That was it. That was what had kept Yixing in Joonmyun's memory for so long: he was always sick. He remembered going to Yifan's house and only seeing Yixing for minutes at a time. He could never play long because he would always get dizzy or he was sleeping or he had to take medicine. It was always something. Joonmyun hadn't seen him recently though. Granted he didn't go to Yifan's house as much as he used to, but even when he was there, he rarely saw Yixing. If the younger boy was there, Joonmyun only caught a glimpse of him.

“Like he has a cold or something?” Tao asked innocently.

“No Tao,” Jongdae’s usual smile was gone from his face. “It's worse than that. He has a sickness that last forever. Right?”

Yifan nodded solemnly “Yixing has acute lymphoblastic leukemia.”

“What's that?” Sehun asked curiously.

“It's a type of cancer that overproduces immature white blood cells that cause damage to his body by stopping production of normal cells.”

Tao and Sehun stared at Yifan blankly as if asking if he could dumb it down a little more. Jongdae rolled his eyes “Just go look it up geez.”

“But if he's coming to our school then he should be fine, right?” Joonmyun figured that would be the only reason why his parents would deem it okay.

“He’s never fine,” Yifan scoffed. “Our parents think he should try and have a normal high school life, but he can’t. They don’t consider what could happen if he got sick here. I’m not in the same class as him, so I can’t look out for him the way his nurse does at home. Our parents are just concerned about making him feel normal.”

Jongdae, Joonmyun and Sehun stared in silence. They had never seen their friend so upset about anything. Tao broke the silence “Maybe trying to live a normal life will help make him feel better. I mean, it sounds like he’s been confined to the house for a while and that can’t be fun.”

Joonmyun nodded “Tao’s right, this could be a healing experience for Yixing.”

“And we’ll look out for him too!” Sehun chimed in  and Jongdae nodded in agreement.

Kris smiled “Thanks guys.”

---

For once in his life, Joonmyun was actually extremely excited to go to school. Not that he particularly hated school or anything, but nothing very exciting ever happened. Today was the day that Yixing was going to be joining them. He was ready to see Yifan’s brother that he hadn’t seen for a while. They would get a chance to catch up since Joonmyun was basically the welcoming committee for every new student. He hoped Yixing wouldn’t mind.

Joonmyun entered the Headmaster’s office where he was greeted with the sight of  Headmaster Leeteuk at his desk across from Yifan and a brunet boy who Joonmyun assumes is Yixing.

“Ah, Joonmyun, you’re just in time,” Leeteuk motioned to an empty chair on the other side of Yixing. “Yixing, this Kim Joonmyun. He’s going to be your guide today and help you get used to how everything works around here.”

Joonmyun smiled and gave a small bow to Yixing before taking his seat. The coffee brown-eyed boy smiled back “Please take good care of me.”

The older boy blushed as he got a full view of Yixing’s face. He has changed over the years. His hair is longer, eyes much brighter than before, and his smile  is beautiful. Granted he’s a little pale, but Joonmyun was paying too much attention to the dimple in Yixing’s right cheek to notice. He didn’t know why, but looking at Yixing made his heart beat a little faster.

“Joonmyun, are you okay?” Yifan’s deep voice broke into his thoughts.

“Uh yeah,” Joonmyun tore his eyes away from Yixing and looked at the Headmaster “So what class is Yixing in?”

“We’ve decided it’d be best to put him in your class. Given the circumstances, it’s best to have someone look out for him.”

Given the circumstances? Oh, right. Yixing looked down in what seemed like shame and Yifan tries to maintain his composure, but Joonmyun can see the pain behind his eyes. Joonmyun nodded and stood “Okay, well I guess we should get started before the halls get too crowded.”

“Good luck,” the Headmaster said as Yifan and Yixing stood as well, leaving the office with Joonmyun.

When they were outside of the office, Yifan spoke “Are you two going to be okay without me?”

“We’ll be fine,” Joonmyun patted Yifan's back “It's just the first day.”

“I’ll be okay Yifan-ge,” Yixing smiled softly.

The blonde sighed and ran a hand through his hair “Fine. Joonmyun, take good care of my brother. If there's an emergency, text me, okay?”

“Aye sir!” the shorter boy jokingly saluted. The joke didn't seem to go over well with the giant. Joonmyun cleared his throat “I’ll look out for him.”

“Thank you,” Yifan turned to Yixing “Do you have your medicine?”

“Yes,” the youngest nodded.

“Water?”

“Yes.”

“Phone?”

“Yes.”

“Medi--”

“Yifan-ge stop,” Yixing put a hand on his brother's arm “I have everything and I'm going to be fine.”

Yifan crossed his arms over his chest “Yixing, I have to take care of you and part of that is making sure you didn't forget anything.”

“Well I'm at school and right now, I’m in Joonmyun's care.”

The blonde sighed and looked at his best friend “Take care of him.” He turned back to Yixing “And you text me if you feel even remotely sick, got it?”

“Yes Yifan-ge,” Yixing said sweetly.

“He’ll be fine,” Joonmyun assured.

Yifan looked between the two of them and nodded. He tugged on his backpack as he waved goodbye to them.

 

“I’ve never seen Yifan so protective like that,” Joonmyun said when his friend was out of earshot.

“Really?” Yixing tilted his head.

That was so cute. Just the innocent ignorance on Yixing's face. The older boy had to look away as he felt his face starting to heat up a bit. “I take it he's always like that around you.”

“Yeah.”

“Usually he’s just a grump around here,” Joonmyun smiled and looked back at Yixing when he was calm enough.

“Joonmyun-ssi--”

“Just call me Joonmyun. We're the same age.”

A small smile came over the Chinese male’s lips “So you do remember me?”

“Of course I do.” Granted they hadn't seen much of each other over the past few years, but Joonmyun never forgot that Yixing existed. “I thought we could use this time to catch up.”

“Really?”

“Well, we never spent much time together before. And I have to look out for you so we should be friends, right?” Joonmyun went to smile at Yixing when he noticed the other boy looking away from him. Maybe he had said too much.

“I don't want you to be friends with me out of obligation to my brother.”

“No, I didn't mean it like that.” Both boys stopped walking and stood face-to-face, not looking at each other. Joonmyun placed a hand on Yixing's shoulder “I want to be friends because I want to get to know you.”

“So you’ll treat me like a normal person?” the bright-eyed boy looked up expectantly.

Joonmyun smiled and shrugged “There's no such thing as normal, but I’ll treat you as close as possible.”

Yixing laughed “I’ll take it.”

“Good,” Joonmyun took Yixing's hand as other students started to filter into the hallway. “Now let's continue our tour.”

---

About two weeks into school, Yixing was still getting the hang of things. He still occasionally got lost, but he got help from his new friends. Sehun, Jongdae and Tao were his brother's other close friends. Yixing assumed Yifan made them promise to look out for him too. They treated him fairly normally, while also coddling and worrying about him incessantly. Tao’s the biggest worrier even though Yixing is older than him. He's kind of like another Yifan, if not worse. However, Tao is cute and needs a lot of caring for himself so Yixing sees it as a good trade-off. Sehun and Jongdae are much more moderate and only really offer help when Yixing asks or actually needs it. The three boys are good friends for him and he was grateful for that. The person he was most grateful for though is Joonmyun. He was always by Yixing's side to help and answer any questions the Chinese boy had. He even tutored Yixing after school at his house. It was always fun for Yixing to be around Joonmyun. He was thankful the other boy didn't treat him like he was fragile or weak. That's what was most important: Joonmyun treats him like a normal person.

Yixing sighed happily as he continued to doodle in his notebook.

“Gege, are you okay?” Tao waved his hand in front of Yixing's face.

The brunette blinked before looking at Tao “Huh?”

“You’re making a weird face.”

“I was not!” Yixing protested and leaned back in his chair. “I was just thinking about how nice everyone's been since I got here.”

Tao looked at Yixing skeptically for a moment, but nonetheless shrugged his shoulders. “Well I need you back here on Earth to help me pick out what Student Council is going to wear for our Prince Cafe at the festival.”

“Prince Cafe? Festival?”

“Oh right,” Tao facepalmed. “So every year we have a school festival and the clubs open up different stands or shops to help raise money for the school. Parents and people in the surrounding neighborhood are all invited. This year, Student Council is opening a Prince-themed Cafe.”

Yixing's eyes widened and he immediately clapped like a seal “That's amazing!”

“Yes, yes, I know. It was all my idea,” Tao said proudly. Technically it was Sehun's idea, but Tao provided half of it. “So all the waiters--student council members--are going to be dressed up as princes.”

“Isn't Joonmyun in Student Council?”

“Yeah. Me, Sehun, Jongdae and Yifan too. Of course I’m the only one who has any fashion sense so I get to pick out our costumes.”

Yixing tried to imagine Joonmyun dressed as a prince. He would certainly look handsome. Nice dark brown hair, those warm brown eyes, and that angelic smile that made Yixing blush eternally. He shook his head. They had only really known each other for two weeks. He couldn't possibly have a crush yet. Could he?

“So I'm thinking red and gold as the colors. What do you think, gege?”

What were they talking about? Oh right, the festival. “Maybe white and gold would be better,” Yixing said after mentally getting himself together. “I think it would fit Joo-uh Student Council’s image better. You know because you're supposed to be the guys who take care of the school.”

Tao tapped his cheek with a pencil “That's actually not a bad idea. Although I’m not sure if white really fits Yifan.”

“Why not?”

“Well he's a good guy, but I think black and gold would be more suiting for him. Especially with his personality and his serious case of RBF. Not to mention Yifan in black, so--” Tao looked away from Yixing, blushing cherry red “Never mind.”

“So what?” Yixing leaned on the table, resting his chin in his hands.

“Nothing, it's not important.”

“Oh please tell me. If you tell me, I’ll tell you something good too.”

Tao sat silently for a moment. He didn't want to tell anyone, but Yixing was probably the one person who would be the most help to him. He leaned on the table and whispered “I was saying that Yifan in black would be so hot.” He quickly sat back in his chair and covered his face with his hands. He couldn't believe he had just said that about Yixing's brother. That was so embarrassing. He's gonna laugh at me forever.

“Ew,” Yixing shuddered. There was no part of Yifan that was hot. He was a tall, gangly dork. Why would anyone think that? Oh my gosh. “You have a crush on Yifan.”

Tao peeked through his fingers and spoke in a barely audible voice “Please don't tell anyone.”

“Huh? Oh, I'm not gonna say anything. Do you mind me asking why?”

Tao dropped his hands from his face “I don't know. He handsome, his deep voice is nice, and he so cool.”

Oh gosh, he actually thinks Yifan is cool. “I see,” Yixing nods “Well if you ever come to your senses and realize he's an idiot, I’ll be here.” Not that his brother is a bad person, but Yixing's not totally sure what Tao sees in him.

“He protected me one time when I was getting bullied during my first year here...I think that's when I realized how great he was.”

Even Yixing couldn't deny that. Yifan had always had a knack for protecting people that couldn't defend themselves. He assumed it was because Yifan had been doing it so long, especially after he was born. Yixing smiled “If you really like him like I think you do, I’ll be your wingman whenever you need me.”

“Thanks Yixing-ge,” Tao grabbed the older boy's hands happily. “Your turn.”

Yixing froze. He didn't want to tell Tao. He liked Tao, but he wasn't even sure about his feelings yet. It would be weird to say it, then realize that it probably was just a fleeting thing. “Uh mine’s not as interesting as yours. Don't worry about it.”

Tao pouted “Tell me.”

It's only fair. “I think I might like Joonmyun.”

“What?!”

“Shush!” Yixing pulled back and looked around to make sure no one was looking. “I’m not even sure anyway, I’ve only known him for like two weeks.”

“But I thought you were old friends. I mean he's known Yifan since forever so I assumed you guys were friends too.”

“Sorta. We knew each other existed, but because I was always sick, we never hung out much.”

Tao gasped “That's why you suggested white! That's totally Joonmyun-hyung’s color! You were thinking about him!”

“Can you not be so loud?” Yixing scolded. Look, it doesn't matter because I’m not sure about my feelings and he wouldn't want to date me anyway.”

“Why would he not want to date you? I think you're very much Joonmyun-hyung's type: innocent, cute, genuinely a good person, and fun. He can be a little too straight-laced sometimes.”

“Straight-laced?”

“Oh um, it just means that he sometimes follows the rules too much.”

“Ah,” Yixing nodded in understanding. “Yeah, but wouldn't it be weird if I confessed to him after really being friends for only a short time?”

“Hello? Ever heard of love at first sight?” Tao said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was just glad Yixing wasn't thinking about his sickness. Granted Yixing was still a person regardless, but it was hard to look past that fact. “How do you think I fell for Yifan?”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Of course it does. No worries, I can help you plan the perfect confession,” Tao giggled like a schoolgirl, turning to a clean page in his notebook. “So maybe something simple? I hate simple, but Joonmyun-hyung wouldn't appreciate something extravagant.”

“What about the costumes?”

“Oh we can plan that later. This way more important!”

Yixing playfully rolled his eyes and accepted his fate. Maybe Tao was right, confessing might not be such a bad idea after all.

 

“Do you think Xing-hyung is cute?”

Jongdae continued to work, deciding not to indulge the younger boy. Joonmyun's hand froze in the middle of his writing. He wanted to ask Sehun what he was talking about, but he didn't want to seem too interested. He took a breath and continued working. He had too much to do over the next two weeks to be concerned with however Sehun was feeling about Yixing. At this moment, approving the stands and stores for different clubs for the festival was his main concern.

“I mean,” Sehun continued “He has fluffy hair and a dimple. Right in the center of his cheek. He has big eyes too, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets mistaken for a girl sometimes. With that face, totally possible.”

“If you like Yixing-hyung so much, just confess to him. Otherwise be quiet while some of us do work,” Jongdae snapped without even looking up from his papers.

Joonmyun knew he was irritated. He was having a hard time trying to figure out how much money should go into the festival while projecting their sales profit. He shouldn't take his frustration out on others, but Sehun's chatter was kind of distracting. Although for himself, it was distracting in a very different way. Joonmyun agreed with Sehun: Zhang Yixing is extremely cute. The slightly younger boy is essentially his ideal type. There was no way they could date though. Yixing was Yifan's brother and Yifan was Joonmyun's best friend. That would be wrong.

“I don't like him like that,” Sehun pouted “I was just saying. If anything, he's Joon-hyung’s type. I like my bottoms a little more feisty.”

This time Joonmyun actually dropped his pen. He’s grateful that Jongdae looked up from his work and replied “No one wanted to know that.”

“Look Sehun, we’re really busy,” Joonmyun chimed in once he recovered. “We don't have time to talk about this, let’s just get back to work.”

“Ugh but we’ve been at this for forever,” Sehun groaned. “Can't we take a break?”

Well he wasn't wrong. They had been working pretty hard during their breaks to get all their work done. Joonmyun conceded “Fine, we can take a break.”

“Yes!” Sehun cheered as he hopped out of his seat and sits on the table instead, rustling Jongdae’s papers in the process.

“Seriously?!”

“Relax hyung, you’re being way too serious for a guy who pulls pranks on a daily.”

Joonmyun chuckled “He’s got a point.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes, but reluctantly smiled “Fine but if I can't behind, it's because of you two.” He shifted the paper out of the way and hopped up on the table to sit next to Sehun. Joonmyun got up and moved to sit next to them.

“So Joon-hyung, is Yixing-hyung your type?” Sehun asked the oldest boy.

“I don't know, I never really thought about him like that.” Lies. Maybe he had one or two thoughts about Yixing, but nothing significant. There were plenty of cute boys in their school like Taemin and Luhan and Hyuk and others that Joonmyun couldn't think of. “Yixing and I are just friends.”

“Yeah but Yifan-hyung entrusted him to you,” Jongdae thought aloud. He looked at Joonmyun “Maybe he's trying to get you guys together.”

“Hyung in a relationship? That would be awesome!” Sehun cheered.

“I’m not going to be in a relationship with Yixing.”

“Aww why not?”

Joonmyun sighed “I can't date my best friend's brother. That's not cool.”

“Well technically, you just need Yifan-hyung's permission,” Jongdae argued “which he gave when he told you to look out for Xing-hyung.”

“Yifan said that to all of us.”

“But he was especially talking you,” Sehun countered.

Joonmyun shook his head “I am not dating Yifan's brother, permission or no permission.”

“So what you're saying is, if Yixing-hyung wasn't Yifan-hyung’s brother, you would date him?” Jongdae teased.

“What?! No!” Joonmyun said a little too forcefully. “We’re just friends, nothing else.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” the two younger boys high-fived.

Joonmyun was starting to regret letting them take a break. Why did they care so much about him potentially dating Yixing anyway? It wasn't like they were particularly close. He treated the other boy like he would treat any of his friends. “Why are you guys asking me about this anyway?” he asked after a moment of silence.

Sehun shrugged “You haven't dated since you started high school, right hyung? We thought it might be good for you.”

Good for me?

“Hyung, you’re always studying or doing student council work,” Jongdae added. “Sometimes you hang out with us, but you otherwise don't do much. To be frank, Hyung you need a little spice in your life.”

Spice? Joonmyun had spice in his life. When he wasn't with his friends, he played golf and read books. Every now and then he played computer games but he usually got bored with them. “My life isn't that boring and I don't know how dating would make it any more interesting.”

“You’re an old man. Like I can feel myself aging whenever you talk about how you worked on your golf swing or read some lame self-help book.”

“Or make one of your lame dad jokes,” Sehun groaned.

Jongdae nodded in agreement “That one’s the worse.”

“My jokes are amazing,” Joonmyun crossed his arms. “You still haven't explained how dating would help.”

“Because Yixing would give your gray life some color,” Sehun persisted.

Maybe Sehun and Jongdae were right. Nonetheless, Yixing was still Yifan's brother and very much off-limits. Even if he wanted to date the younger boy, he couldn't. Joonmyun didn't know if Yixing would even be interested in him. It was better for them to remain friends. “I’m happy with things the way they are. I’ll date when I'm in university.”

“Fine,” Sehun shook his head in clear disagreement. “Don't get angry if someone else snaps him up.”

“Who? You?” Joonmyun questioned. “You were the one who started this whole conversation.”

“Ooh,” Jongdae smirked “Sehun do you have a crush on Xing-hyung?”

“No! I told you I like them feisty!” The two boys got into an argument. Joonmyun would have to break it up, but for now, he was just happy they weren't talking about him anymore.

---

Yixing was nervous. It had been two days since he had talked to Tao about confessing. He had prepared everything and asked Joonmyun to meet him in the Student Council room after school. Tao said he would make sure no one would interrupt them. Currently, Yixing was in said room pacing back and forth with a small red box in his hands. It was gift. He had asked Yifan what Joonmyun liked and his brother had mentioned golf, so Yixing had bought him a ball with his name on it. It was thoughtful and simple, just like Tao said. He personally felt like it was bribing, but Tao insisted otherwise. Yixing really hoped Joonmyun liked it and him.

It was weird to think that just a few days ago he had no intention of confessing at all. There was certainly no going back now. Yixing stopped pacing when he heard the click of the door opening.

“Yixing?” Joonmyun's voice floated into the room.

Yixing turned around just as the other boy entered the room. If he had been nervous before, he was downright frightened now. His heart was beating fast and the butterflies in his stomach were making him nauseous.

“You wanted to meet me here, is everything okay?” Joonmyun asked with a concerned look on his face. Yixing looked really pale. He walked toward him and went to touch his forehead when the younger boy stepped back.

“I-I’m fine,” Yixing's grip on the small box tightened.

“O-oh okay,” Joonmyun dropped his hand. “Uh so what's up?”

Yixing looked down at his feet shyly. He didn't know what to say. He had practiced all night and now when he was in front of Joonmyun, his mind was blank. “Um well I…”

Joonmyun looked Yixing up and down. His face was turning red and he was shaking a little. Joonmyun couldn't tell if the other boy was sick or just nervous about something. He didn't really have anything to be nervous about, right? He gently took Yixing's hand “What is it Yixing? We're friends; you don't have to be nervous.”

Yixing looked up at Joonmyun who was giving that trademark angelic smile. He took a breath and held out the box “I got you this.”

“Oh,” Joonmyun let go of Yixing and took the small box in his hands “What is it?”

“Open it.”

Joonmyun did as he was told and his eyes widened at the sight of the custom golf ball. “This is amazing. Yixing, you didn't have to buy this for me.”

“I wanted to.” Yixing smiled and awkwardly rubbed his arm “I like you Joonmyun.”

It was huge. A dark purple mark on his arm that appeared every time Yixing moved his sleeve. Was that a bruise? Joonmyun reached out a hand to touch it “What happened to you?”

“Huh?” Yixing looked down at his arm and saw the bruise. “Oh I don't know. I always get mystery bruises. My doctor says it's because of the leukemia.”

“Does it hurt?”

“A little bit.” Yixing turned his attention back to the more important matter “Joonmyun, do you like me too?”

The Korean boy didn't know what to say. He was so focused on the bruise, that he hadn't really registered what Yixing had said. He likes me! Joonmyun definitely liked Yixing back, but he was Yifan's brother. He couldn't do that. Is that really why you're worried about dating him? he questioned himself. Joonmyun knew that wasn't the real reason. He was more concerned about Yixing's fragile health. He wasn't sure if it was right of him to consider that, but he wouldn't be a reliable boyfriend if he didn't. He wanted to be a help to Yixing, not a burden. Tao had said having a normal life could be healing for Yixing. Maybe it could help him too, like Jongdae and Sehun said. Relationships were a part of normal life. Maybe he could try.

Joonmyun was about to respond when the door opened. He and Yixing looked over to see Yifan walking into the room. “Xing, I’ve been looking all over for you! And why is Tao outside ‘guarding the door?’”

Tao peeked his head inside “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what? What's going on here? Joonmyun?”

“It's okay Tao,” Yixing smiled gently at the younger boy. “Gege, I just had to talk to Joonmyun about something.”

“About what exactly?” Yifan crossed his arms over his chest.

No one said anything. Joonmyun and Tao weren't interested in incurring the blond giant’s wrath and Yixing just didn't want to hear how overly concerned his brother was.

“So none of you are going to tell me?” Yifan turned to Tao “What were they talking about?”

Tao said nothing.

“Tao, tell me.”

Silence.

“Tao tell me or I--”

“I was confessing to Joonmyun,” Yixing blurted out. He knew Yifan would go easier on him than the other two.

The blond slowly turned and glared at Joonmyun, causing him to take a step back. “Yifan,” Joonmyun finally spoke up “Please don't be mad. I wouldn't have made a choice without asking you first.”

“Yixing, let's go.” Yifan his heel and headed for the door “Now!”

Yixing gave Joonmyun an apologetic look before following behind his brother.

---

Joonmyun isn't sure he should go when Yifan offers for him to come over. He has this feeling that the blond might kill him in the car and dump his body in the Han river. Luckily, this isn't the case as they arrive at the house and he is still intact as they are getting out the car. He freezes when they reach the door. Yifan goes inside and once he realizes Joonmyun is following him, he turns around “Why are you still standing out there?”

“I’d really rather not die today.”

Yifan laughs and rolls his eyes “I’m not going to kill you. If I was, do you think you would've made this far?”

“That doesn't mean you're opposed to torture.”

“Look, Yixing is sick and I’m sure your face will cheer him up.”

Joonmyun blinks. He forgot that Yixing wasn't in school today. He had wanted to ask why, but he was too worried about dying at the hands of Yifan. “Oh well then,” the brunet gathers his courage and follows Yifan inside.

He follows Yifan down a long hallway to a door with a picture of a unicorn taped to the front. Joonmyun smiles because unicorns are the kind of thing he imagines Yixing would like.

Yifan puts a hand on his shoulder “Good luck.”

Before Joonmyun can respond, Yifan is already walking away. This means he has permission. He has to remember to thank his best friend later. He turns the knob and slowly opens the door. He is greeted by cold air and quite a bit of purple. Joonmyun assumes this is Yixing's favorite color. He looks around the room until he notices a lump under the blankets. Is he asleep?

“Yifan, go away.”

I guess not. “Uh Yixing, it's me, Joonmyun,” he can't help but smile when he sees the top of Yixing's head and then those bright eyes staring back at him.

“Oh sorry,” Yixing slowly sits up “Yifan's been texting me all day. It's like he never left the house.”

“I can imagine,” Joonmyun chuckles. “He's probably just worried about you.”

“Overbearing is more like it,” Yixing rolls his eyes. “Uh, did you wanna sit? The nurse isn't here today.”

Joonmyun looks at the chair next to the bed. With the cold air, the humidifier going, and the constant attendance of a nurse, he can't help but think it feels a lot like a hospital setup. He closes the door behind him before walking over to Yixing's bed at sitting at the foot of it instead “Do you mind if I sit here?”

Yixing is surprised, but smiles “I don't mind. Um so what brings you here? If you're worried about me, I’m fine. It's just a cold.”

“Well I never got to give you my answer.”

Yixing immediately wants to duck back under the covers. He knows Joonmyun is talking about his confession and he doesn't want to deal with rejection right now. Lately, that's all he gets from his crushes, courtesy of Yifan. He looks away from the other boy “You don't have to give me an answer.”

“Really? Why not?”

“If you talked to Yifan, which I assume you have, he’s probably ‘awakened you to reality,’” Yixing makes air quotes with his fingers “like he does all my crushes.”

“Well I did talk to him, and I told him that,” Joonmyun takes a deep breath. Once he says it, it's official. He decides he wants to be brave. “I told him that I want to be with you. Uh, that is, if the offer is still valid.”

Yixing can't believe his ears. Joonmyun actually wants to date him! He laughs at the older boy's word choice and nods “Yes, the offer is still valid.”

“Great.” Joonmyun goes to say something else, but suddenly Yixing is kneeling on the bed and hugging him around the neck.

“I don't want you to catch my cold, but I really wanted to hug you.”

The older boy chuckles and gently wraps his arms around Yixing’s waist “I think the cold would be worth it.”

Yixing smiles as he slowly pulls away and sits back on his knees “Do you think I can come see you at the Prince Cafe during the school festival?”

“Of course you can. You didn't have to ask.”

“Well I thought it would be weird if I just showed up out of the blue.”

“Yixing, that's literally what everyone is doing so long as they pay to get inside.”

Yixing pouts “Well I didn't know that.”

Joonmyun can't help but to kiss Yixing's cheek when he makes such an adorable face. “We can consider it our first date if you want.”

“I’d like that.”

Joonmyun likes it too. He’s glad that he came here and talked to Yixing. However, something bothers him. Yixing is warm. Too warm. Like he had more than a cold. Yixing feels like he has a fever.

---

A/N:Whoa, this is way longer than I expected it to be. Can you believe this is just the beginning? Holy cow! Anyway, I'll keep this short. If you don't know what Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia is, it's on Wikipedia. It's a pretty interesting read. I was gonna wait until I got my poster, but that's not happening anytime soon and I didn't want to keep you waiting. Well I enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Until next time, subscribe, comment, etc.

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