Watching the television in the dark, Mir couldn't help letting his mind wondered to somewhere far instead of focusing on what was displayed on the screen. How long have it since he last seen his own face on the television? Surely long enough to be forgotten.

          At the thought of being forgotten, Mir felt the bile rose up into his throat and he went running to the bathroom to throw up all that he had eaten this morning, which wasn't that much anyway. He didn't even bother to flick the light in the bathroom on and let his whole apartment stayed in the dark as he didn't even care to pull the curtain up to bless the space inside his apartment with the warmth of the spring sun.

          He didn't want to see the outside, be it through the window or what more be it with himself stepping outside of this home that resemble a prison. He imprisoned himself inside his own house, reluctant to go outside and let him felt the liveliness of the blooming season and beauty of the life itself because he knew, even with him staying frozen inside this house, the life outside was always on motion and he felt left behind. Further and further behind. Into a forgotten realm.

          Finished heaving all that he had inside his stomach, Mir stood up from leaning over the toilet stool, feeling disgusted with himself. He was sure he looked like by this time and suddenly felt fortunate that he didn't turn the light on so he couldn't see his own image reflected inside the mirror.

          With a grunt, Mir dragged his heavy limbs to the bathtub, and lowered himself inside it. Turning on a warm shower, he let the water washed over his still clothed body, hoping it will help to wash all of the pain away as well or even better, just wash himself into a puddle of water that will eventually be evaporated and disappeared without a sound.

          He wished he could disappear…

          A knock on the door call Mir's mind back to the present and he didn't bother to answer. Not even when he heard sound of Seungho's voice from the other side of the door calling after him.

          Three months…The leader sure took his time to visit him. Three months he had stayed coped up in this apartment, ignoring his parents' calling him out, ignoring his sisters' plead, ignoring even Hajin whom tried to talk to him. Pretending he couldn't hear anything.

          Then again, Mir didn't blame Seungho nor GO for not visiting him over the three months he sunk deeper into depression because just like him, he knew it had been hard for both of Seungho and GO as well.

          So, why is Seungho here now? Couldn't he just let Mir drowned into his own misery instead of going out of his way to call Mir out?

          "Cheolyong-ah! I know you're in there!" The knock came out louder this time, Mir suspected the leader had went from knocking to kicking the front door instead. But it still have no effect on Mir.

          Not too long after, Mir heard his phone ringing. Oh? He thought by this time, his phone would have long be out of battery. Whatever. Maybe he did charge his battery while sleepwalking or whatever it is since he was practically a zombie for these three months. He didn't even remember what he did last night.

          "Cheolyongie, please."

          Mir's eyes slightly moved at GO's voice. Why was GO here too? His fingers flickered slightly at the pleading sad tone in his hyung's voice but the heavy emotion weighing his whole body down was too much for him to withstand. So, he didn't move and just stayed inside the bathroom, soaking wet, ignoring the two outside of his apartment until he heard them giving up and leaving.

          Finally… They leave… And he was sure, not too soon, he will be forgotten. Even by them…

          Mir had always been afraid of being forgotten. Each time he clicked on the television, he saw more and more faces of new rookies and they all did better than him in every aspect and he was scared to go outside and let people judge him, compared him to others. When people realized how unworthy he was, they will leave him and forgot about his existence. Just like Joon and Thunder.

          And he was sure… After this, even Seungho and GO will leave him. And everyone… And he will be alone…

          Again, Mir felt nausea jabbing from behind his throat and he curled inside the bathtub like a fetus and stayed there, hoping he would disappear.

          But it will never be that easy for him.

          Under the running water, Mir didn't realize how did he fall asleep but he was woken up by the rumbling sky before the rain showered down the earth noisily, raindrops pattering against the windows.

          Turning off the tap, Mir got himself out of the bathroom, couldn't care less how he left trails of puddle as he walked towards the front door. He glanced at the digital clock on the wall. 9pm. Was it already this late?

          Mir's eyes drifted back to the front door now he was standing right in front of, his eyes slowly trailed down to the doorknob. Outside… What was it like? He couldn't seem to remember now that he haven't stepped out of this prison for three months.

          Reaching out a shaky hand, he left his hand ghosting over the knob, having no courage to actually grabbed the doorknob, twisting it and pushed open the door.

          Outside… Was too scary…

          Swallowing the lump that was forming in his mouth, Mir let his own weak body collapsed against the door with a loud 'thud' and he slowly slide down the door and onto the floor. He let his back rest against the door and pulled his knees close to his chest. Burying his face into his hands, he felt like a loser as one by one of his fat tears streamed down his cheeks and soon after, he found himself sobbing pathetically there, alone.

          "Cheolyong-ah… You're there, right?"

          Mir gasped at the gentle voice greeting him from behind the door. The rain was still showering but the tender voice managed to made through the rain and past through the locked door and reached Mir.

          "We're still here, Cheolyong…"

          "S-Seungho hyung…" Mir whispered.

          "Can you open the door for me and Byunghee?"

          Mir swallowed loudly, his body shook violently. No. He couldn't. He was afraid. He was afraid of the outside. He couldn't…

          "Please… It's freezing out here." Seungho said again, just as gentle as before.

          Mir let the last of his tears dried up and he pulled himself up from the floor. He stared hard at the doorknob, feeling how loud his heart was thumping against his ribcage and how light headed he felt now that he would be more than willing to just collapse and sleep until tomorrow comes. But it was showering outside and his hyungs were cold…

          Outside was scary. Indeed it was scary… But…

          All happened in a short moment. Mir hand gripped firmly on the doorknob and easily, the door creaked opened and Mir felt warmth enveloping his cold body instantly instead of the cold rain against his skin. And for a long time now that he had felt another heart beating other that his, matching his own silent thumping. This was a part of the life he had been so scared of.

          "I miss you." GO whispered right to Mir's ear, his arms around Mir tightening as if he was afraid the maknae would disappear if only he hold a bit looser.

          Mir felt the sharp pain in his chest and he gasped. His hands slowly moved up and wrapped themselves around GO when he felt the warm tears seeping through his already soaked shirt. Mir saw Seungho standing there, watching him and GO with a gentle smile before the leader pushed the two of them inside and closed the door.

          "Cheolyong-ah. Come here." Seungho cooed and GO let Mir go and gave a slight push until the maknae was inside Seungho's embrace this time, tighter and warmer. "Mianhae… Mianhae that we took so long but I miss you."

          "I thought you have forgotten me." Mir whispered, his voice muffled into Seungho's shoulder.

          "I can forget the whole world. But not any of you." Seungho replied.

          And after a few more minutes of letting Mir cried into his shirt, he guided the maknae to the couch while GO went to fetch Mir a towel and a change of clothe.

          "Cheolyong-ah… Look at me…" Seungho asked, tilting Mir's head to face him. "Please remember this. Even if the whole world forget you, none of us will."

          "I'm scared, hyung."

          GO came with a sad smile, he wrapped Mir into the towel he brought and proceeded to hug the youngest. "Me too…"

          "We are all scared." Seungho admitted.

          Mir nodded. They are all scared. Not just him. But this fear, once they could overcome it, they would be stronger than before and even though Mir was still scared, still broken and still helpless, he somehow felt if these two would hold his hands along the way, maybe, just maybe, he would be able to step outside of this prison and return to the outside world.

          Return to life…