Hakyeon looks at his phone once more still in disbelief, in one day he felt like Christmas had been ruined, as if someone had cancelled his holiday, cancelled his happiness, and all he could do was stare at the bright screen of his phone telling him he couldn't go home for Christmas, reminding him that his friends and boyfriend would be away for Christmas and he would be left alone in a barely decorated apartment thinking of all the fun things he could've been doing.

 

"Hakyeon?" A voice called breaking him out of his state and pushing a smile onto his lips.

"Hey Taekwoonie, when did you get in? I didn't hear the door" Hakyeon spoke, faking a giggle. Taekwoon gave him a look, it's one Hakyeon knew well and right now he hated it, it meant that soon Taekwoon would know that inside he feels like his heart is being stabbed, inside he's crying and breaking down because all his plans had gone up in smoke and he wouldn't be home with his family or a his home with Taekwoon, in seconds Taekwoon would know that inside Hakyeon felt alone and abandonded, and yet outside he looked cheerful with his plastic smile and empty giggle.

 

After a few minutes though, nothing happened, they were just standing there in silence, and for some reason Hakyeon hated this more. Taekwoon grabbed Hakyeon's hand leading him to their room, not bothering to turn on lights just pulling Hakyeon till they were lying on their bed, Hakyeon automatically snuggling into Taekwoon's side, getting surrounded by warmth and comfort. Soon Hakyeon felt a hand softly running through his hair, this was one of Taekwoon's specialties, making the man with a thousands worries on his mind go completely calm without saying anything, just contact, contact was something Taekwoon could do when it came to Hakyeon, expression and contact, words weren't his thing.

 

"I can't go home for Christmas" Hakyeon muttered, a few tears escaping his eyes. Taekwoon let out a soft sigh pulling Hakyeon as close as he could.

"Come home with me" Taekwoon said, Hakyeon smiled at the thought even though he knew his couldn't, Taekwoon's mother wanted to have a Christmas with just her kids, and no one had a problem because that meant no moving around and choosing whose parents to go to when, and it'd been weeks in planning and Hakyeon would not ruin that.

"You know I can't, and don't tell me you'll stay...you have to go, I'll be okay" Hakyeon spoke, trying to believe his own words. Taekwoon had no response he just began wiping away Hakyeon's tears and placing butterfly kisses in their place, they had 5 days left till they'd be apart and Hakyeon would be alone for three weeks, Hakyeon decided then he only had to smile for 5 more days, he only had to laugh and pretend the world was still amazing, pretend he still loved Christmas, pretend he wasn't dying inside every second that passed, just pretend.

 

-----------Day 1

 

"How about these?" Hakyeon spoke holing up another box of lights, these ones were shapped like little orbs and stars and lit up all different colours, Taekwoon just nodded watching the box falling into their basket of other lights and decorations. They'd been shopping for hours, Hakyeon had brought mass amount of decorations, food and some more gifts.

"Should we stop now?" Hakyeon asked noticing Taekwoon spacing out, he wasn't one for Hakyeon's shopping as much as he loved him this was something Jaehwan was for, Taekwoon had stamina for some things, shopping was not one of them, but Hakyeon looked kind of cheered up by it that he couldn't bare to voice his problems.

"It's okay" Taekwoon replied, giving a small smile. Hakyeon chuckled a bit and gave Taekwoon a quick hug.

"I'll buy these and then we'll get lunch and sit for awhile" Hakyeon spoke, it felt like music to Taekwoon's ears.

 

They quickly got the lights and found a small place in the food court to eat and sit for awhile.

"So, is there anything special you want before you go home?" Hakyeon asked, a small smile clinging to his lips as the idea that Taekwoon would be going soon flooded back to him. Taekwoon shook his head, reaching out and grabbing Hakyeon's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I want you to be okay" Taekwoon spoke in a small voice. Hakyeon 's eyes widened and before any of his real emotions could act he pushed out a laugh and smiled widely, it was painfully fake, but only the two of them knew that.

"I'm perfectly okay Taekwoonie, I can survive a few weeks alone, I'll get some cleaning done, watching some rom-coms and I mean we can text and video chat y'know" Hakyeon winked at the end, another forced action but for his sake Taekwoon smiled, but he gripped his hand tighter.

"I'll keep my phone close" Taekwoon replied. They ate the rest of their meal in silence, niether letting go of the others hand, Hakyeon felt like it was his life support, the only thing keeping him sane.

 

-

 

With their meals done Hakyeon decided he wanted to visit one more store before they left and Taekwoon just smiled and agreed, thankfuly despite everthing they'd brought they didn't have a mass amount of bags, then again the next store was a clothing store, Taekwoon knew routine, he would go sit down near the changing room while Hakyeon found clothes to try on and then whenever Hakyeon walked out of the room Taekwoon would smile and compliment how good he looked, which wasn't hard because everything seemed to look good on his boyfriend.

 

It wasn't long before Hakyeon went into the changing room some clothes in hand as he shot a quick smile to Taekwoon. In truth Hakyeon only remembered two of the things he'd grabbed, a cosy looking hoodie that Taekwoon would probably end up wearing more and a pair of jeans everything else he'd just grabbed at random and rushed into the room, he couldn't help it, he saw all these couples, and heard them talking about their Christmas plans, some to go out with friends together and others just planning to have a nice dinner and a night in, and Hakyeon was jealous and upset because he wouldn't be getting that, he'd be getting a lonely couch, rom-coms and a pint of ice cream to eat alone.

 

Hakyeon felt tears roll down his eyes as he sat down on the dressing room bench, he felt isolated but he didn't want anyone to see him like this, he had to keep it up for the next few days, just smile, laugh, talk and repeat until he was alone.

 

"Hakyeon?" Taekwoon's voice and a soft knock brought Hakyeon out of his thoughts, it'd been almost 10 minutes since he'd entered the changing room and even for him that was long.

"J-just a minute" Hakyeon replied in a small shout. Taekwoon pressed his forehead against the door, he could hear Hakyeon trying to calm his breaths from the other side, he could hear him trying to pull back his sobs and he could tell the other wasn't trying on clothes.

"Hakyeon, open the door" Taekwoon spoke. Hakyeon looked at the lock and hesitated, he wiped his face and and looked at himself in the mirror quickly changing into the hoodie and unlocking the door.

"What cha' think?" Hakyeon asked as Taekwoon entered the small changing room, locking them in.

 

Rather than responding Taekwoon just wrapped his arms around Hakyeon.

"We should go home" Taekwoon muttered, Hakyeon fell limp in his arms, he couldn't hug back, he just stood there as tears fell and soaked Taekwoon's shirt. Hakyeon managed to nod but when Taekwoon went to back away he gripped onto his shirt.

"Don't go, don't leave me yet" Hakyeon whispered, almost too quiet to hear. Taekwoon did as told and stayed, arms around Hakyeon, just standing there and letting Hakyeon breathe and calm down.

 

"Sorry about your shirt" Hakyeon muttered once they'd parted. Taekwoon just chuckled, the shirt was the last of his worries.

"I'll buy you a hoodie? This would look better on you anyway" Hakyeon giggled, turning away from Taekwoon and pulling the hoodie off. Taekwoon just smiled, pulling off his slightly wet shirt and hugging Hakyeon from behind, arms sitting comfortable around his waist.

"Would it? It looked pretty good on you" Taekwoon spoke, smirking as he planted a trail of butterfly kisses down Hakyeon's neck, lightly biting on an area he knew was sensitive and making sure to leave a mark as he and the pain away, smirking at the small moan that escaped Hakyeon's lips, adding to his already blushed cheeks as Taekwoon continued to trail a mix of hickeys and butterfly kisses across his shoulder before resting his head on Hakyeon's shoulder and smiling at their reflection. Hakyeon was blushing looking at Taekwoon's smirk and the new marks.

"You're beautiful" Taekwoon spoke, Hakyeon could only smile genuieninly and that's more than Taekwoon could ever ask for. It wasn't often Taekwoon said words like that with sincerity, only when he meant them and only when he needed to, his love was shown through action and affection, so hearing something like that made Hakyeon's heart race faster than usual.

 

Soon they changed, Taekwoon wearing the hoodie out of the store, the lady didn't ask question when she noticed a slight mark on Hakyeon's neck and the slight redness around his eyes and on his cheeks, she just took the tag and let them be, with that they went home, both done with being outside, both in need of time alone together.

 

------------Day 2

 

Hakyeon woke up to the smell of breakfast pulling him out of bed, he quickly pulled on one of Taekwoon's shirts, glad he'dmanaged to put underware on before going to bed as he walked down the hall finding his boyfriend, dressed and cooking. Hakyeon smiled walking to Taekwoon and hugging him, nuzzling against his back.

"When did you get up?" Hakyeon asked, voice still laced with sleep. Taekwoon chuckled.

"Awhile ago, you looked so comfortable I cleaned you up, had a shower and started making food" Taekwoon explained, looking blissful as he flipped pancakes. Hakyeon hummed in approval enjoying the warmth Taekwoon seemed to radiate.

"Sit down, it'll be done in a minute" Taekwon spoke, Hakyeon did as told, smiling brightly as large plates of food were placed on the table.

"We're going out for dinner tonight" Taekwoon spoke, Hakyeon was taken a little by suprise but nodded. Taekwoon then placed a small gift on the table.

"Don't open it till Christmas okay?" Taekwoon spoke, Hakyeon nodded, although he was instantly curious about the small box, until a slighty bigger gift was placed on the table.

"You can open this one now though" Taekwoon said, finally sitting down and eating with Hakyeon, who smiled and opened the gift with extra care.

 

Hakyeon's eyes widened as he saw the contence, it was two soft plushies, one of a lion and snuggled into it was a small fennec fox , they seemed so at ease, he couldn't help but smile and keep it close as he ate.

 

The day went by slowly, Hakyeon decieded the lights could wait till later, Taekwoon had told him they were going to a casual resturant that served really nice meats, including Galbi which made Hakyeon all the more excited, but for now he was happy laying on the couch using Taekwoon's chest as a pillow as he cuddeled his new plush and watching random movies.

 

"Taekwoon, what do you want for Christmas?" Hakyeon asked randomly. Taekwoon was quiet, thinking over his words and what he wanted.

"I want you too be happy and to eat lots of food" Taekwoon replied, Hakyeon smiled at the reply, kissing Taekwoon's cheek.

"Well, I'm happy and you can eat lots of food tonight, it's not Christmas but it's us" Hakyeon replied, Taekwoon smiled at the improvement in Hakyeon's mood, maybe he would be okay.

 

-

 

Hakyeon smiled looking at Taekwoon dressed up, he somehow looked casual and fancy at the same time, his hair done, his button up shirt clinging in all the right places, the rolled up sleeves somehow adding their own personality and Hakyeon couldn't get enough of the pants he was wearing, happily trailing behind Taekwoon, the view was marvelous. It didn't take long for them to be sat at a table.

"Do you like it?" Taekwoon asked with caution. Hakyeon smiled at his nervousness.

"I love it, now let's order and enjoy it" Hakyeon replied, Taekwoon letting out a sigh of relief and smiling. They were quick to order and enjoyed looking around the reasturant, it was small and none of the tables were too close, close enough you coud see people but you couldn't hear anything or make out much about them, the seat they had was on the second story, the view reaching just over parts of the city, lights shinging beautifully, and yet Taekwoon's gaze was stuck to Hakyeon, smiling at the pure joy and bliss on his boyfriends face, all his work payed off, he'd checked the place out awhile ago, skipping getting coffee just so he could see, he'd made friends with one of the cooks during a rushed coffee grab before work, the guy was nice, his main pride and joys were his happy marriage, kids and his job, and Taekwoon was glad to see that Hakyeon actually liked it.

 

When the food came Hakyeon's eyes were wide with delight as he dug into his meal, Taekwoon taking his time and enjoying watching Hakyeon happily down his food, occasionally making conversation but mainly eating.

"You're so cute" Taekwoon smiled, enjoying Hakyeon's small dance of food joy. Hakyeon just looked at Taekwoon with an almost blank face but he couldn't help but smile.

"This place is amazing" Hakyeon spoke, Taekwoon was silently cheering on the inde, outside just smiling.

 

They ate mainly in silence after that, it was comfortable, Hakyeon in too much bliss to think of Taekwoon leaving and Taekwoon savering Hakyeon's smiles, giggles, and geniuen happiness, when they left Taekwoon began driving, but he wasn't going home, Hakyeon sat confused for a few moments wondering if it was just a different way.

"Where are we going?" Hakyeon blurted out noticing one of the turns completely lead away from their home, Taekwoon just smiled, continuing to drive higher and higher.

"A special place" Taekwoon replied.

 

--

 

Hakyeon sighed as they drove, he'd asked a hundred and one questions about where they were going and he got nothing from it so he'd opted for taking over the music and playing games on his phone. He was almost finished with a level in his game when the song changed to one he hadn't heard since a very late night with Taekwoon, he heard Taekwoon begin to softly sing along and he suddenly abandonded his game, the last time he'd heard this was just after they'd had an argument, Hakyeon sitting on the floor, back pressed against the door of their bedroom, Taekwoon on the out side of the door trying to make amends, but Hakyeon had long since blocked him out, eyes closed as he tried to stop the tears, his legs and arms tightly held to his body because his heart was beating as fast as the thoughts of their relationship being over flew through his head, but then he heard the sound of a soft piano playing from the lounge a soft voice flowing with the lyrics drawing Hakyeon out of their room.

 

"Don't be sorry, It just makes me more pitiful, with your pretty red lips, just hurry up, kill me and go" Taekwoon began eyes closed as he shut off to his surroundings, Hakyeon slowly walked down the hall way, stopping short of Taekwoon as he listened to the other sing, his tears falling faster.

"I'm alright..." Taekwoon sang softer, Hakyeon couldn't help but go closer, wrapping his arms over Taekwoon' shoulders quickly burrying his face against his own arm to hide his tears.

"Look at me one last time, smile like nothing's wrong, so when I miss you...I can remember" Taekwoon's voice became thin as his own tears started to fall, he slumped over the piano, fingers still.

 

"Hakyeon ah" Takewoon's worried voice broke Hakyeon from his memories, he noticed he was crying as he wiped his cheeks, Taekwoon looked panicked, but the car had stopped.

"I'm okay" Hakyeon spoke as Taekwoon cupped his cheek.

"You kinda just spaced out for a bit there and then you started crying" Taekwoon spoke, panic still evident in his voice. Hakyeon smiled, leaning closer and placing a soft kiss against Taekwoon's lips.

"I'm okay, I was just reminising on something you did" Hakyeon spoke, voice softer and seeming to calm Taekwoon.

"Then why did you cry?" Taekwoon asked with a small sigh.

"Because it was sad but sweet and I love you" Hakyeon replied, the left over teary ness making his eyes glisten as he smiled.  Taekwoon sighed, but still smiled, kissing Hakyeon's forehead before sitting back down.

"Well...we're here, see" Taekwoon spoke gesturing out the front window. Hakyeon turned, his eyes widening as he saw the view, they must've been up high because they were looking over the city, the buildings and lights seeming to look like stars on the ground, it was beautiful.

"I wanted to bring you here before I left, when my family were over here we drove here and made wishes, so I wanted to bring you here and let you make a wish" Taekwoon explained, Hakyeon was close to crying again at Taekwoon's kindness asking himself and the universe what he'd done to deserve this.

"Close your eyes and make a wish, don't tell me what it is cause then it might not come true" Taekwoon spoke, looking more adorable than he should be able to. Hakyeon did as told, closing his eyes and trying to think of a wish, he had a million things he could wish for, more time with Taekwoon, to not be alone on Christmas, to be able to go home, for the decoration to work, for the cooking to work, instead he made a simple yet big wish.

'I wish, for this moment to last longer, to be able to stay here with Taekwoon for a long time'.

 

When Hakyeon opened his eyes, Taekwoon was putting a necklace on him, softly clipping it and letting it fall, Hakyeon looked confused at first before he took hold of the item at the end of the chain, it was a small mechanical looking heart with a clip on the side, when Hakyeon clicked it, it opened to reveal a smiling photo of himself as Taekwoon kissed his cheek, and on the other side a small note that simply said 'I love you', Hakyeon quickly pulled Taekwoon closer, their lips crashing together harshly all though the kiss was soft and sweet, Hakyeon felt like time slowed down as their lips seemed to dance together, it was perfect.

 

-----------------Day 3

 

Hakyeon sighed once again biting back swears as he struggled with the lights to decorate their apartment, he'd been trying all day, but nothing was working, most of the lights ended up in a tangled mess, he'd finished setting up some only to have a large section not work, and now he was trying to put lights up down their hallway and every time he got a little further with putting them up, the last spot fell down, and Hakyeon was close to exploding with frustration and pure hate fueled rage.

"ing hell" Hakyeon swore loudly hearing a familiar clink of more lights falling. Taekwoon tensed slightly at  the loud cursing walking toward the kitchen and getting a bottle of water before going toward Hakyeon, handing him the drink and smiling up at him, as Hakyeon put the bottle down he felt arms wrap around his legs and pick him up.

"T-Taekwoonie" Hakyeon nearly yelled, stuttering with slight fair. Hakyeon gripped onto Taekwoon's shoulders, panic flowing through him. Taekwoon just smiled spinning around before carefully placing Hakyeon down on the ground.

"I couldn't help it" Taekwoon smiled, arms laced around Hakyeon's waist as he leaned closer, leaning their foreheads together.

 

"Leave the lights for a bit, let’s watch a movie" Taekwoon muttered, Hakyeon smiled, pressing his lips to Taekwoons, the kiss was like a gentle thank you for calming him constantly.

"But I want the apartment to look Christmassy before you...y'know go" Hakyeon sighed, looking around at the failed light display.

"Look at me" Taekwoon sighed, smiling happily as Hakyeon listened.

"Just because..." Taekwoon thought slowly about his words.

“Just because I’m going away for a little bit, doesn’t mean you need to fix up the apartment…” Taekwoon spoke softly, Hakyeon just sighed, leaning closer to Taekwoon, snuggling himself in closely. Taekwoon began running a hand through Hakyeon’s hair trying to console him.

“We still have two more days, I’ll help you do the hallway and then we bundle up and put on a movie” Taekwoon spoke, not leaving room for arguments as he pressed a soft kiss to Hakyeon’s forehead, moving away and grabbing the lights, easily hanging them up, Hakyeon just watched in fascination, picking up the line of lights and slowly handing it to Taekwoon. Hakyeon almost cried at how easily Taekwoon managed to put the lights up.
“What are you? Some kind of light whisperer? Have you been trained in this? Tell me your secrets” Hakyeon questioned, only partially joking.

“I’m your boyfriend, no I don’t whisper to lights, and no I haven’t been trained, you just need to be more gentle” Taekwoon replied, giving a small smile as he pulled Hakyeon to the couch, comfortable lying on the couch and just pulling Hakyeon down with him so they were tangled on the couch, arms and legs tied together comfortably.

 

It didn’t take long for Hakyeon to tune out instead focusing on Taekwoon, admiring his features, trying to figure out why a few weeks without him would be so painful, they had phones, nothing was impossible, but for some reason the idea of waking up without Taekwoon, being alone in this apartment knowing that at the end of the night Taekwoon won’t be in bed or bundled on the couch with him, for some reason, just knowing that made Hakyeon feel like death inside.
“Hakyeon, you’re staring” Taekwoon chuckled softly, looking at Hakyeon. Taekwoon sighed noticing Hakyeon’s frown, Taekwoon leaned toward Hakyeon a bit, pushing their lips together.

“Calm down, don’t think about later” Taekwoon whispered before kissing Hakyeon again, as Hakyeon kissed back he knew it felt needy, he knew he was needy and he could tell Taekwoon felt it as he felt arms wrap around him reassuringly. Taekwoon smiled turning them so he was hanging over Hakyeon, smiling as the movie was quickly forgotten, become sound in the background, attempt to hide loud moans as they got as close as physically possible.

 

---------Day 4

 

Hakyeon sighed sprawling out in bed as Taekwoon packed his bags, Hakyeon was happily dressed in one of Taekwoon’s baggy hoodies, the sleeves over taking his hands.

“Hakyeon have you seen my hoo-” Taekwoon stopped mid sentence noticing where his hoodie was. Hakyeon refused to get up and show his guilt, in his defence the hoodie was warm, baggy and smelt of Taekwoon, he needed it for comfort.

“Hakyeon, wanna come watch a movie?” Taekwoon asked, deciding his packing could wait. Hakyeon shook his head, holding his arms out and shuffling a bit so Taekwoon could join him on the bed, taking the hint Taekwoon lowered himself onto the bed, pulling Hakyeon close to him as they tangled together.

“What time's your flight?” Hakyeon asked in a small voice. Taekwoon let out a small sigh as he played with Hakyeon’s hair.

“Tomorrow afternoon, I can finish packing tomorrow” Taekwoon spoke, hinting to Hakyeon that they had time to stay together. Hakyeon took in a deep breath as he snuggled closely into Taekwoon, hands gripping at his sides, as Hakyeon let out his breath he felt tears fall, but he couldn’t help it, Taekwoon just quietly comforted him, one hand running through his hair, the other drawing patterns over his back.

“I don’t know how to cook Christmas food” Hakyeon cried, gripping tightly onto the sides of Taekwoon’s sweater.

“I’ll cook before I go” Taekwoon sighed, unsure of anything else to say. Hakyeon let out a sob, starting to shake in Taekwoon’s arms.

“I can’t put up decorations like you can” Hakyeon continued to cry out his frustrations, still not saying the truth.

“We can put them up together when I get back” Taekwoon replied, holding Hakyeon tigheter.

“I think we’re out of snacks” Hakyeon cried, sounding truly broken about it, Taekwoon had to bite back his laughter as he replied.

“We can go shopping later” Taekwoon replied, waiting for Hakyeon to admit his actual problem.
“I-I don’t want to be alone on ing Christmas, because there are all these happy couples, and people just celebrating and I’ll be like those lonely ajusshi who just drink the day away” Hakyeon cried, sobs louder this time as his body fully shook, he had tried so hard to stay smiley, stay happy and ignore the fact he’d be alone, but he couldn’t he wanted to tell Taekwoon even if it wouldn’t change anything he wanted the other to know, but he didn’t want to be crying when he said it, he didn’t want to say all those other things, he just wanted Taekwoon to know he’d miss him.

“We can buy lots of snacks later, I’ll cook something and we can pack it away, we can put up more decorations if you like, and I’ll call you as soon as I land” Taekwoon replied, voice softer as he tried to console Hakyeon.

 

---

 

Hakyeon smiled watching as Taekwoon packed their near full cart with more snacks, excitedly grabbing Hakyeon and his own favourite snacks while ignoring how full their cart was.

“Taekwoonie...I think this is enough” Hakyeon chuckled, Taekwoon loved the smile that followed that chuckle, it was one he knew well, it meant he was being a fool and it made Hakyeon happy.

“But the cart’s only kinda full, it could take more” Taekwoon argued, pouting slightly as Hakyeon smiled more.

“Our cupboard can’t” Hakyeon replied, chuckled again, this time grabbing Taekwoon’s hands ,their fingers lacing together automatically as they made their way to the check out.

“Are you two having a party of something?” the cashiers asked them with a smile, Taekwoon laughed as he shook his head.

“Nah we’re just stocking up for the season” Taekwoon joked, Hakyeon couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, I think you’ll make it to the end of winter, maybe even spring” The cashier laughed. Taekwoon smiled as he paid for their mass amount of food, both of them taking bags as they left the store, Hakyeon had a large smile as Taekwoon began talking and asking about what movie they should watch, he talked as if they had days and day to watch movies and stay bundled up, it made Hakyeon forget that Taekwoon would be gone soon at least for a moment he didn’t feel like crying.

 

----------Day 5, the last day

 

Hakyeon glared at the suitcase at their door way, all nicely packed and ready to take his boyfriend away.

“Hakyeon...leave the poor suit case alone and come finish your lunch” Taekwoon called from the table. They had a few hours till they had to leave for the airport and part ways, Taekwoon had stuck to all his promises, they had an overload of snacks filling a few cupboards, they’d binged movies all night, and Taekwoon had cooked enough meals to fill most of their fridge, now they just had to each lunch and relax a bit till Taekwoon had to go.

“It’s evil, I don’t know how, but it’s evil” Hakyeon said as he sat down and continued his meal.
“I hope not, I have to fly with that thing” Taekwon joked, Hakyeon just pouted and pushed his plate away. Taekwoon sighed, picking up the plate and putting it on the bench then pulling Hakyeon to the couch practically draping himself over the other as they snuggled on the couch, Hakyeon turning so he was at least facing Taekwoon
“I love you” Taekwoon sighed as they made eye contact. As Hakyeon fell silent rather then find himself able to reply Taekwoon began pressing soft kisses to Hakyeon’s cheek, slowly trailing across his jaw and down his neck, his hands already making their way up Hakyeon’s shirt. Hakyeon let out a quiet moan as he leaned back against Taekwoon his mind slowly going blank as he relaxed.

“Stop thinking about me leaving, I’m still here” Taekwoon sighed hands drawing patterns over Hakyeon’s stomach.

“Then kiss me properly” Hakyeon replied, Taekwoon smirked leaning closer and pressing his lips to Hakyeon’s, their lips moved in sync with each other, with a slight shuffle Taekwoon pressed his leg against Hakyeon’s groin earning a rather quick moan, enough for Taekwoon to slip his tongue into Hakyeon’s mouth, giving himself time to explore and remember every detail of their feelings, then soon their tongues were dancing together, neither pushing further or trying to move along more, Hakyeon slightly rolling his hips lazily to make more friction against Taekwoon, both enjoying the slow moment, until a loud ringing and buzzing stole their attention, quickly ruining the moment as they had to part. It was the alarm, telling them it was time to go, but in that moment all Hakyeon could hear was the sad sound of his heart seeming to break.

 

---

 

Taekwoon smiled at the person on the front desk as he checked his bags and himself in, Hakyeon following quietly as everything was done, they had a while till Taekwoon had to board his flight so they waited at a cafe near by, getting coffee and waiting in silence.
“So you’ll call as soon as you land?” Hakyeon asked to make sure they both knew the plan, Taekwoon nodded.

“And you’ll video call before you go to bed” Taekwoon replied, setting their plans, both making sure they knew what to do. Hakyeon nodded before letting out a sigh, lacing his fingers with Taekwoon’s as he slowly drank his coffee.

“And if you need me at any point, you’ll text or call” Taekwoon spoke, Hakyeon nodding once again. Taekwoon smiled leaning closer over the table and pressing a soft kiss to Hakyeon’s forehead before sitting down again.

 

Timed seemed to rush past as they both heard the announcement for Taekwoon to board his flight, Hakyeon felt his heart shatter as he told himself to stay strong for just a little longer, as they neared the gate it got harder, Hakyeon watched as other couples boarded the flight together or near by he saw couples reuniting and soon he found himself clinging to Taekwoon.

“I’m gonna miss you, so don’t forget to call me and stuff” Hakyeon spoke, a few tears slipping.

“I will, don’t worry, just make it home safe” Taekwoon replied, pressing a long kiss to Hakyeon’s lips, Hakyeon felt comforted by the warmth that surrounded him, but as it left he couldn’t help but feel heartbroken, he wanted to scream and chase after Taekwoon, instead he smiled and waved, but as Taekwoon vanished from his view his tears began to fall quickly, he felt like his heart has been smashed into a thousand pieces, his mind was blank as he drove home, he couldn’t even remember the trip from airport back to his bed, he wrapped himself in blankets and all around him he could smell Taekwoon’s scent on the blankets, and pillows soon realises he was wearing the others hoodie, Hakyeon’s tears began to soak the space around him as he sobbed.

 

---------------Day ?

 

Hakyeon let out a soft sigh,sitting up in bed and testing his voice before answering the phone.

“Hey Taekwoonie, how’s everything?” Hakyeon answered the phone, forcing a joyful tone, it’d been awhile since Taekwoon had left and Hakyeon had made a routine of leaving the bed very few times, he showered, grabbed snacks and went back to bed, not leaving unless he had to.

“Everythings fine here, mum won’t stop giving me biscuits and she says she misses you” Taekwoon chuckled, Hakyeon smiled as he pulled his legs to his chest. Suddenly it was silent between them, Taekwoon could tell Hakyeon hadn’t been telling him everything during their phone calls, it became more obvious when Hakyeon refused to video call.

“Taekwoonie…” Hakyeon sighed, the silence seeming to pull at the truth.

“Tell me everything” Taekwoon spoke, knowing Hakyeon was ready to tell him the truth.

“I haven’t been good these past few days or week...I haven’t gone outside at all, I’ve only really left the bed to shower and get more snacks, I can’t even tell you what kind of day it is outside or how many times I’ve worn this hoodie, I don’t wanna face time because my eyes are red and puffy because I either wake up scared you’ve left me, cry because I’m alone or because I’ve been spending a few nights without sleep, I look tragic, I am tragic”   Hakyeon replied with a large sigh, Taekwoon felt relieved as Hakyeon seemed to let everything out.

“Face time me now, I don’t care if you’re tragic, you’re my tragedy then, and I’m sure you’re still as beautiful as ever.” Taekwoon replied. Hakyeon let out a breath moving the phone away, trying his best to at least fix his hair as he his the camera button.
“H-hey” Hakyeon spoke weakly smiling at his phone. Taekwoon smiled brightly, he looked rested and comfortable, his hair a blend of messy and tidy, meanwhile Hakyeon looked messy, sleep deprived and puffy.
“You look beautiful” Taekwoon spoke, his voice full of sincerity. Hakyeon let out a sigh, how could he already feel comforted by a simple video call.

 

It wasn’t long till Hakyeon was giggling and smiling widely, him and Taekwoon had been talking for ages about everything and anything they’d done, more Taekwoon doing things than Hakyeon doing anything. It wasn’t until Hakyeon heard the familiar call of Taekwoon’s mother, drawing him away from the call, Hakyeon knew they’d have to hang up, but he tried to push the thought away as he smiled at the camera.

“Go on, your mother calls, we can talk later” Hakyeon spoke happily. Taekwoon smiled softly at Hakyeon.
“I’ll call you soon, I love you” Taekwoon spoke with a smile,

“I love you too” Hakyeon replied, blowing a kiss to the camera as they hung up.

 

Hakyeon tried to ignore the feeling of silence and darkness closing in on him, but suddenly he was in his normal routine, he got up, got snacks and then curled back up in bed, watching random things on his phone as the darkness closed in around him, he hated how he felt at this point, so he sent a quick text to Taekwoon.

-Miss you…

Hakyeon sighed as he put his phone down, closing his eyes as he slipped to sleep .

 

--------

 

Hakyeon was woken by a familiar buzzing, too tired to notice anything as he swiped to answer it, Taekwoon’s face popped up on his screen, bright and clean, compared to Hakyeon’s scruffy and tired appearance.

“Morning lovely” Taekwoon chuckled, Hakyeon just made a mocking face before smiling.

“I was sleepy, what cha’ up to?” Hakyeon replied, Taekwoon smiled, quickly screenshotting his boyfriends tired appearance.

“Nothing much, but I want you to do me a favour” Taekwoon replied. Hakyeon pouted, feeling nervous about what Taekwoon could want.
“W-what is it?” Hakyeon asked cautiously.

“I want you to go for a walk” Taekwoon replied, it sounded so simple but to Hakyeon who hadn’t been outside in a very long time, it felt like Taekwoon wanted him to conquer the world.

“Can I take you with me?” Hakyeon asked, in a smaller voice. Taekwoon chuckled lightly.

“Yes, but you have to go now.” Taekwoon replied. Hakyeon let out a sigh as he got up and changed, pulling on jeans, it felt so weird in comparison to his usual sweatpants.

“Can I keep the hoodie on?” Hakyeon asked, he hadn’t changed out of it in a while.

“Is it clean?” Taekwoon asked.
“Sure” Hakyeon replied, obviously lying, it took one look at his phone and Taekwoon’s face for him to notice Taekwoon’s judging face.

“Fine, I’ll change into the other one” Hakyeon sighed, stripping off the hoodie and laughing as he heard a whistle from his phone.
“Are you sure you haven’t been working out?” Taekwoon asked, eyes focused on Hakyeon as he changed. Hakyeon blushed quickly pulling on the new hoodie.

“” Hakyeon replied as he fixed his hair quickly before leaving.
 

---------

 

Hakyeon felt happy as he walked to the park, he had flicked to a normal call with Taekwoon, listening through earphones as he made his way, they talked about random things, Hakyeon had also talked about how weird it felt to be out of the apartment, but it wasn’t until Hakyeon had sat down on a park bench did he fully take in his surroundings, Taekwoon was saying something about how he’d managed to survive shopping with his cousin, but Hakyeon had tuned out as he watched all the couples around him enjoying their time together, it was painful, there they all were walking close to one another, nestled together tightly due to the cold, and then there was Hakyeon, sitting on a park bench listening to his boyfriend talk.

“Hakyeon, are you crying?” Taekwoon asked, noticing Hakyeon sniffle and the new silence that had fallen upon them. Hakyeon’s eyes widened as he noticed the tears trailing down his cheeks.

“I think I forgot to blink” Hakyeon chuckle, wiping his tears away.

“Hakyeon, you can go home now, I’m sorry, I forgot about the christmassy couples.” Taekwoon replied, feeling guilty.

“It’s fine, it’s nice to be out of the apartment.” Hakyeon replied, as he got up and made his slow walk home.

 

Hakyeon couldn’t help but feel heartache as he watched happy couples walking along in the Christmas moonlight, he hadn’t even noticed it was Christmas eve, he’d been too hauled up in bed to take notice of the days compared to the nights, but now that he was out, he felt worse with every step, he knew Taekwoon meant well in this walk and it was nice, but now he just felt pained by all the couples and even the families that were out, everyone looked so at ease.

 

Hakyeon was focused on the ground as he weaved through the crowds and up to their apartment, he had decided to spend the rest of the night in bed, wrapped in all their blankets while watching rom-coms and forgetting about this evil holiday, he’d just skip it this year. What Hakyeon hadn’t expected when he entered the apartment was for the lights to be on and to hear a successful cheer through both his ears and apartment, as he walked further he noticed the apartment was decorated, he hadn’t done this there were lights hung up and twisted with tinsel, there were Christmas lilies in vases and there was even a mistletoe in the doorway. When Hakyeon entered the lounge his eyes widened, there was Taekwoon, his Taekwoon in a baggy hoodie, finishing off hanging the last set of lights, smiling proudly as he pulled his phone back to his ear.

“Hakyeon, are you home?” Taekwoon asked into the phone. Hakyeon felt tears swell up in his eyes as he ran towards Taekwoon getting off the chair, Hakyeon wrapped his arms around Taekwoon, hugging him tightly from behind and nuzzling against his back.

“I am” Hakyeon cried, Taekwoon felt shocked for a second, turning so he was facing Hakyeon, hugging Taekwoon tightly.

“So am I” Taekwoon giggled, Hakyeon just cried harder, shaking in Taekwoon’s arms, causing Taekwoon to tense.

“Did I do something wrong?” Taekwoon asked, with worry in his voice. Hakyeon shook his head looking up at Taekwoon.

“I love you, I’m so happy” Hakyeon cried. Taekwoon smiled widely, pressing a soft kiss against Hakyeon’s lips, it’d been just over a week but Taekwoon missed this feeling, he missed the simple innocence of a kiss, it was soft, pure and innocent but full of a thousand different conversations and feelings. As the kiss broke Taekwoon looked at the clock and smiled.

“Merry Christmas my love” Taekwoon smiled, Hakyeon let out a laugh, this was the best Christmas he’d ever had, he’d gone from broken and alone to being with the person he loved more than the world.

“Merry Christmas you idiot” Hakyeon chuckled, hiding his face against Taekwoon’s chest as he hugged him tightly, Taekwoon just laughed hugging him back, they both ended up laughing in  each others embrace.

 

------------------------A few hours later

 

Hakyeon smiled widely as he panted heavily, Taekwoon was collapsed beside him, both having  fully embraced the christmas spirit of giving and getting. Hakyeon curled into Taekwoon as sleep slowly neared closer.

“You know, my mum scolded me as soon as I got there, and then she booked me a flight home” Taekwoon laughed, Hakyeon smiled, silently thanking Taekwoon’s mother.

“She told me that we have to go over for new years and she has gifts for you, because according to her, you’re the best in law we have” Taekwoon spoke, Hakyeon smiled placing a soft kiss against Taekwoon’s chest.

“But we aren’t married” Hakyeon spoke, leaning into Taekwoon’s hand as he played with his hair.

“Yet” Taekwoon spoke, smirking as Hakyeon looked at him with wide eyes.

“But you have to wait till tomorrow to open that gift” Taekwoon chuckled, closing his eyes and pulling a blanket over them.

“The answer is yes in advance” Hakyeon spoke, softly kissing Taekwoon before drifting off to sleep, suddenly he’d been given back a season he loved.

----------------------------------------+-+

A/N: Ahhhhh it's late but hey merry Xmas or whatever you celebrate or don't celebrate, I hope you like this and yeah all that jazz, and also a massive thank you to my lovely Botato the main motivation I had to finish this and main motivator for me to do most things >U< Hehehe this is for her so ye, happy holidays y'all, I'll see ya in the new year

-N