The wheelchair became a fixed part of Jinki’s life. He didn’t use it every day – he still fought through most days on his crutches. When he had told his mother about it, she had reacted subdued. She refused to fully grasp the extent to which Jinki was limited. Jinki guessed she wouldn’t be able to deal with that knowledge. “Please don’t get used to it Jinki, remember you don’t actually need it.” She had begged him. He didn’t bother correct her.

 

But he did agree with her on the first point. He did not want to get used to it. It was a great relief and he was glad that he had admitted to himself that he needed it. However, he felt queasy whenever he had to look up at everyone, when he needed to rely on someone else to get somewhere, when desks and chairs had to be moved aside for him. He relished the independence the crutches gave him.

 

One consequence the wheelchair brought that he hadn’t foreseen was the close friendship with Jonghyun, Kibum, Minho and Taemin. He relied heavily on them in his everyday life – from grocery shopping to getting around.

 

On the first day of the semester, Sunyoung had told Jinki about the boys’ accomplishments and status but Jinki didn’t see any of those until exams were almost upon them.

 

Jonghyun called him on a Saturday, all breathless excitement and bubbling enthusiasm and asked him, whether he’d be up to a trip to a studio. “Taemin and Minho will be there and Taemin isn’t very Big today and I have my hands full with Minho, could you maybe look after Taemin a bit? You’ll love it here, we’re doing such a cool project! Amber can pick you up.”

 

Jinki, positively overwhelmed but also anxiously excited and confused, agreed.

 

“And don’t worry, everything here is wheelchair friendly! Just give us a call when you’re downstairs.” Jonghyun hung up without waiting for a response.

 

Amber arrived twenty minutes later and grinned at him. “How’re you feeling today? Wheelchair yay or nay?”

 

Jinki stared at her blankly. “I have no idea.” And he really did not. His body felt strange but he could limp around his flat without his crutches quite comfortably. In the end, he decided against the chair, even if purely because he remember his mother’s pleas. He did not want to get used to it.

 

Amber was a fun companion. She talked about light-hearted stuff, with just enough bite and wit to be hilarious. Jinki forgot completely to be anxious about their destination until they arrived. Then it slammed into him, knocking him breathless for a split second. Amber helped him coordinate his crutches as he exited the car but then he was on his own. After a short call with Jonghyun, it only took two minutes for Minho to arrive.

 

“Hi, Jinki,” Minho said with a soft smile. He was wearing a classic black, perfectly fitted suit. His hair was styled back to expose his forehead. Jinki swallowed. “Jonghyun said I should bring you to the studio we’re working in. Are you alright?”

 

Jinki nodded, frowning. Something about Minho was different. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but it was there.

 

They slowly made their way to an elevator. The whole building was modern, full of glass walls and chrome. It made Jinki feel small and insignificant – especially next to Minho who looked like he belonged in this world. The crutches didn’t help that feeling. If anything, they made it worse.

 

The room they entered was a bustling mess of people. Jonghyun was leant over a table, pointing at various points of a big spreadsheet. Taemin sat on a sofa in a corner, fully immersed in his phone. Minho left Jinki’s side to go over to Jonghyun’s side and whisper in his ear.

 

Jonghyun looked up with a wide smile. “Jinki, you’re here! Come on in, please feel comfortable.”

 

Seeing as it was the only seat in the room that wouldn’t make him be in the way, Jinki sat down next to Taemin. It granted him a small smile and a mumbled “hey”.

 

From what he knew, Jinki figured he was in a standard practice room. The floor was made of wood, mirrors lined one wall and next to it stood two big speakers. The sofa faced the mirror, so Jinki could see himself – still painfully out of place, even when his limited mobility was only visible through the crutches he had leant onto the sofa. The room was full of people. Most of them stood in small groups, deep in discussion. It was all too fast, too loud for him to figure out what was going on.

 

“Uh, Taemin?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What’s happening here again?”

 

“Oh!” Taemin put his phone down and sat up and all of a sudden, he gave off the usual, excited energy of a Little Taemin. “Minho and Jonghyunnie are working on a drama, well, I am too, I guess? Minho is playing the main character and Jonghyunnie made some of the soundtrack and they want to have a dance number to one of his songs? So they asked me to do the choreo but they need to decide on the parts of the song first and in which scene exactly it’s going to be so I have to wait for a bit.”

 

Jinki’s head was spinning at Taemin’s sheer talking speed but he got the gist of it. “Uh, are you Taemin or Minnie right now?”

 

Taemin shrugged, rather helplessly. “Taemin, but I’m kinda slipping all the time. I didn’t sleep well, that usually plays a role.”

 

They spent some minutes watching the flurry around them. Minho just watched Jonghyun who seemed to have found a topic he was passionate about. His hands drew exasperated pictures into the air, making Jinki muse about the fact that he hadn’t really seen that side of him yet. Eventually, the discussion seemed to have ended to Jonghyun’s satisfaction and he and Minho came over to the sofa.

 

“Minho, sit down next to Jinki. Be careful of his legs.” Jonghyun instructed and Jinki frowned. That tone was new. He almost expected Minho to argue but he didn’t. He just nodded quietly and sat down – careful of Jinki’s legs.

 

“Jonghyunnie, is it my turn now?”

 

“Yes, Tae, it is.” Jonghyun smiled. “You feeling up to it? Is Big Taemin here for the choreo?”

 

Taemin nodded vigorously. “I already have some ideas based on the sample you sent me, but I’m not sure whether it’ll fit with the atmosphere of the scene.”

 

Jinki blinked. That was quite the transformation of demeanour.

 

Jonghyun and Taemin turned to walk to the middle of the room but Jonghyun turned around quickly to tell Minho to talk to Jinki before they made it there.

 

So, Minho talked, endlessly, about his role. Jinki was sure that at point he cited most of his lines in the first episode without context. It was just as overwhelming as Taemin’s monologue earlier, but way longer. Jinki tried his best to listen while still watching Taemin work with some of the dancers. He laughed a bit more than he probably usually would but Jinki doubted anyone would realize if they didn’t know what to look for.

 

“I don’t know if I can dance though,” Minho babbled on. “Are you good at dancing, Jinki?”

 

And everything froze for a second. Jinki had never been good at dancing, it had never been a part of his life. But life has a way of making you want what you can’t have and Jinki had longed for the feeling of weightlessness dancing could bring for months now.

 

“I, uh, not really?” He managed to get out. Minho recoiled in what seemed to be realization.

 

“Oh no, no no no no, Jinki, oh god, I’m so sorry, no no no.”

 

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jinki tried, shocked by Minho’s violent reaction, but it was in vain.

 

“How could I have asked that?” Minho was rocking back and forth slightly. “How can I be so insensitive?” The look on his face turned slightly manic and Jinki started to feel worried. He tuned out Minho’s low, incessant monologue and looked for Jonghyun who, praise the Lord, was looking over at them right that moment.

 

After a short look, he said something to the young woman next to him and came over. “Minho,” his voice was sharp. “What happened?”

 

Jinki swallowed and felt very out of place.

 

“I was insensitive,” Minho whispered. Or was it a whimper? “I know he can’t dance, why would I ask that? Oh God, I’m such an , why would anyone-“

 

“That’s enough!” Jonghyun cut him off. “Go ahead to the bathroom, I’ll meet you there.”

 

Jinki was getting suspicious. The way Minho and Jonghyun interacted was strange. It didn’t seem balanced. It was almost like…

 

“Jonghyun? Is Minho a sub?”

 

Jonghyun’s head swivelled around from where he’d been watching Minho’s back. His eyes bore into Jinki’s, making him feel small. “How do you know?” He demanded, a frantic look in his eyes.

 

Jinki shrugged. “It just, makes sense? The way he’s been acting today…”

 

“Ok, so you know what that is,” Jonghyun seemed so slump into himself and took a deep breath. “Please tell me your reaction to that is the same as to Little Taemin.”

 

“Sure? I mean, I don’t know what it means for him, but as long as he’s not hurting you, it’s alright for me?”

 

Jonghyun smiled. “See, that’s why we like you Jinki. You make us feel safe.” (Something warm bloomed in Jinki’s chest.) “Now excuse me while I come up for some form of punishment so Mr.-‘I-need-to-be-perfect-to-anyone’-Choi can feel comfortable with himself again. I’ll send Taemin over so you can look after him, alright? He’s slipping.”

 

Jinki nodded and five seconds later, Taemin bounced over, excitedly telling him about all the super cool spins he was going to put into the choreography and wouldn’t Umma love it if they all surprised him with ice-cream later? “We should get loads of sprinkles too!! Like, a lot Onew!”

 

When Minho and Jonghyun came back, Minho seemed better. He ruffled Taemin’s hair, calmly apologized to Jinki and then agreed enthusiastically with Taemin about the ice-cream.

 

“Alright,” Jonghyun announced, mainly to end the discussion so they could go back to work. “As soon as Taeminnie has the rough outline of the choreography ready and Minho knows it, we go to Kibum’s place.”

 

Jinki couldn’t help but cheer along with Minho and Taemin.

 

 

---

 

 

Kibum’s place, as it turned out, was a flat in a luxurious high-rise building near the river. It wasn’t as big and a lot cosier than the stereotypical flat owned by a young, rich bachelor that Jinki had somehow expected. Two poodles immediately pounced on Taemin as soon as they were through the door and Taemin collapsed onto the floor in a heap of giggles.

 

Kibum smiled widely. He was in casual clothing, his hair held back by a wide headband.

 

“What brings you guys here? I thought you had a choreo-thing happening today? And how did you get Jinki?”

 

Jonghyun explained the situation while Minho, who had taken off his suit and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt like the rest of them, helped Jinki into the living room and onto the sofa. It was wide, deep red and incredibly soft while still firm enough to support his hip in a way that wouldn’t aggravate it. Jinki loved it.

 

Kibum asked (ordered? Jinki couldn’t help but wonder.) Minho to prepare tea for them. Taemin flopped down next to Jinki, chased by the poodles who took residence on his lap right away.

 

“Onew, they like me.” Taemin stage-whispered.

 

“Yes, it looks like it.” Jinki stage-whispered back.

 

Jonghyun and Kibum were talking quietly at the door, both with serious expressions on their faces, their brows furrowed. Jinki couldn’t help but wonder how much responsibility they took on for Minho and Taemin and now him. It must be stressful.

 

A few minutes later, Minho came back into the room, holding a tray with a matching tea set. He put it down onto the low table and prepared a cup for each of them. Then he looked at Jonghyun and Kibum, a hesitant look on his face. “Is it- is it alright if I kneel?”

 

“Of course it is. But you have to drink your tea.” Kibum answered firmly and that was it. Minho looked at ease, kneeling between the armchairs Kibum and Jonghyun sat in and Jinki wondered if he should be weirded out or confused. But one look at the contentment on Minho’s face and he couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t his place to judge.

 

Kibum coaxed Taemin into telling him about the choreography. Apparently, he was also quite well-versed when it came to dance and it was interesting to see him interact with Little Taemin.

 

Jonghyun was running his hand absentmindedly through Minho’s hair while he listened to Kibum’s and Taemin’s conversation.

 

Jinki watched them and felt content, calm and at home.

 

---

 

It was after they had dinner – cooked by Minho – and Taemin was napping on the sofa – underneath a fuzzy blanket with poodle prints that Kibum kept for him – and Minho walked Kibum’s dogs, that Jonghyun and Kibum announced that they had to talk to Jinki.

 

Jinki hated that phrase. “We have to talk to you.” It always sounded foreboding.

 

“Uh, ok?” And he couldn’t run away, his crutches were at the door because Minho had helped him move into the kitchen.

 

“Don’t worry,” Kibum chuckled, “it isn’t anything bad.”

 

Jinki heaved a sigh of relief.

 

“We just want you to know more, I guess? About all of us.” Jonghyun said and something in Jinki settled. “So, you know that Taemin has his Little Space, and Minho his Sub Space, if we can call it that?” Kibum nodded at Jonghyun’s questioning glance. “It seems like each is a coping mechanism for them since their family situations aren’t… the greatest.”

 

Jonghyun trailed off, at a loss for words and Kibum took over. “Minho’s parents are really demanding. They decided, when Minho was really young, that he should become famous and did everything they could to make it happen. We think his childhood was mostly filled with lessons in all kinds of stuff, just so he has many skills that would make him desirable as an actor. And Minho couldn’t deal with it but his parents didn’t allow him to stop and from what we gathered they could be quite violent. And Minho just developed that headspace where all he wants is to serve someone else and be held responsible for his actions. It’s how he feels loved.”

 

Jinki could picture that and his chest felt tight. A little Minho, almost breaking under the expectations from his parents and trying desperately to stay afloat. Faceless adults, looming over little Minho, scaring him into obedience.

 

“How did you guys find out?” He asked.

 

Jonghyun shrugged. “We just figured it out at one point. Kinda like you did. Kibum had worked with a really rich dom/sub couple who had explained their lifestyle to him because he was curious and he saw the signs, right?

 

Kibum nodded. “It’s actually quite easy to see. He had the habit of punishing himself when he thought it necessary and he hurt himself quite often. I don’t think his parents ever realized, so he had no one to take care of him. He really isn’t the type to venture into that kind of lifestyle on his own, to maybe find someone to understand. So, I talked to Jonghyun about it and since we already had experience with Taeminnie we thought all the mistakes we’d make wouldn’t be as bad as leaving him on his own. And then we talked to Minho, put down some ground rules and now it works quite well.” He seemed to want to say more but then the front door opened and Minho’s laughter filled the flat.

 

“Oh, no!” Kibum muttered and got up. “Minho,” he called quietly when he was at the door, “please don’t wake Taeminnie up, he just went to sleep ten minutes ago.”

 

“Sorry!” Minho called back, just as quietly.

 

He came into the kitchen, looking windswept and happy and glowing and Jinki’s chest felt even tighter. Before he could stop himself, he got up. Ignoring Kibum’s concerned question whether he was alright he looked at Minho. “Could you give me a hug? I think I really need one right now.”

 

Minho didn’t even hesitate and Jinki felt himself melt into it. He couldn’t believe those incredible people had accepted him and made him part of their group, despite all the difficulties and obstacles being friends with him entailed. He couldn’t fathom what he had done to deserve it but he knew he would do everything to be worth their friendship.

 

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So, I know it's been ages since I updated and I'm really, really sorry for that. I hope the next chapter doesn't take as long ;; 

If there is anything you'd like to see in this universe, please don't hesitate to tell me. I love all your comments ❤