I am not afraid to fall

“Jackson, would you like to try the kissing booth?” Maria, one of the cheerleaders asks, slipping her hand around Jackson’s torso. “We are gathering funds for this year Christmas camp.”

“We as in…?” Jaebum, one of Jackson’s best friends asks. He separates the others two and wraps his arm around their shoulders.

“We as in the community who organize the trip,”

“But aren’t the seniors doing it; since when are you a senior?” Jaebum asks, raising one of his eyebrows. It must be cool to do that. Jackson tried several times without success.

“Well, you see-“ she pretends that is thinking, but in the end, she starts to smirk. “I am dating one of the senior guys.”

“Figure out that much,” Jackson replies, pushing Jaebum’s arm off of his shoulder. “Who should I kiss?”

“There’s this senior, Jenny, you can kiss her, but since I know that you like the other gender as well, you can kiss Mark.” She says, pointing in the distance to someone who has his back to them arranging something on the kissing booth.

“Well, I am going to put a penny on Jenny’s bowl,” Jaebum says, eyeing Jackson. “Coming?”

“I am not interested.” Jackson shrugs his shoulders and waves at his friend to go along without him. “But, let me take a pic so I can send it to Jinyoung,”

“I said I’ll leave a penny, not that I will kiss her.” Jaebum defends himself. Jinyoung and Jaebum are boyfriends, but unfortunately for Jaebum, the other is studying in another high school.

In the end, Jackson decided, that he should donate some money as well, if he reconsiders and wants to go to that stupid health camp, anyway, it’s the Christmas spirit, he should play his part.

He was about to drop the penny on Jenny’s bowl, when he noticed the other person standing at the other booth, smiling at a long way of girls. He is really beautiful, with black bangs covering his forehead, with a toothy smile that could kill you any moment. He is that kind of beautiful that you stop in traffic and eventually get hit by a car.

“What was his name again?” Jackson asks, elbowing Maria. “I didn’t see him around.”

“His name is Mark, and you are an idiot for not observing him before, but he is in the film club and rarely socializes with anyone who isn’t senior as well.”

“Great,” Jackson smirks turning to look at the long line that waits to kiss Mark. “I think I will kiss him after my first class, the line is too long.”

****

Jackson didn’t get the chance to kiss Mark that day. When he was free on lunch break, the kissing booth that Mark had was closed. Later, when Maria told him that it opened again he got caught up in the fencing training until later in the evening.

Now, he is gathering his things on his bag, he puts his winter coat on and makes his way out of the school, buttoning it in the process. The long fencing training takes him a lot of times, but he won’t change it for anything else.

The school has this big Christmas tree with lots of decorations and is lighten up by Christmas lights, just like a dream, but what suppresses Jackson, even more, is a light in one of the clubs offices brighten lighter than the little multi colors lights of Christmas. He stops by the window to pick inside. He sees the kissing guys, putting some papers into a school bag.

His luck may be on his part today.

“Done with the kissing booth?” Jackson asks, leaning in the doorway, looking at Mark.

The other looks surprised at the younger, probably because he doesn’t know who Jackson is. Jackson wants to hit his head on something at the realization.

“I haven’t seen you trying, though,” Mark replies, with a small smile on his face.

Jackson can’t believe that he actually finds that smile attractive, like how can just a simple smile cam make his heart beat so faster?

“I haven’t had the chance; will you do it tomorrow too?” Jackson crosses his fingers at the back, praying that Mark will be viable tomorrow too.

“Oh God, no,” Mark groans, taking his coat from a nearby chair and starts to dress up. “My lips will be in pain from kissing so many girls again.”

Jackson sighs a bit jealous of the girls for having the chance to kiss Mark; uncrossing his fingers he extends his hand to Mark. “I am Jackson, by the way.”

Mark takes Jackson’s hand to shake, and oh God, Mark’s hand is so warm and welcoming, that Jackson lingered a few more seconds taking in the pleasurable feeling of the other hand. “I am Mark,”

Jackson looks at how Mark takes the bowl with the money and puts it a closet, taking from his coat a key, probably to lock it up.

“Wait up; I want to contribute for the Christmas camp as well.” Jackson jumps up, afraid that he really lost his chance of a kiss from the handsome boy.

Mark takes the bowl back from the closet and extends it to Jackson. “Thank you so much, people now days don’t care too much about sharing, they want to go camping but they don’t know how many costs it has.”

Jackson takes his wallet from his backpack and takes a good amount of money. Goodbye his new pair of jeans, but Mark is smiling so sweetly and he can’t say no to that.

To be honest, Jackson is kind of ashamed to ask for the kiss, so he waits impatiently for Mark to place the bowl back, to lock it with the key. He kind of felt disappointed when Mark took his backpack from the office desk and said that he has to lock the office as well.

“I haven’t seen you around even though you are a senior,” Jackson says, waiting for Mark to lock the office, why he is still lingering around Mark instead of going home it’s still a mystery.

“Well, you don’t pay attention to insignificant things.” Mark replies turning to Jackson. “But I am glad you noticed me now.”

Jackson wants the earth to open up and eat him at the stupidity he said before because Mark reply kind of left him a bit ashamed of him. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude.”

“That’s alright, I wasn’t on display either.” Mark laughs taking on the exit way, followed by a red Jackson. “I noticed you around however.”

Jackson isn’t sure how he should reply to that, but his face responded instead of him by heating up even more, to the point when he thinks that looks like a tomato.

“I’ve seen you on this fencing competition between our high school and Grand.” Mark continues, not waiting for Jackson to say anything else. “You did pretty well; I’ve seen you in the high school magazine as well.”

Something in Jackson feels warm and homey like he never felt before. It’s a strange feeling making a conversation with someone who you just barely met and feel this comfy way. “Well, I didn’t want to appear in the magazine, but they pleaded and pleaded that I gave up eventually.”

Mark pushes the school front doors open and lets Jackson pass by. “It was nice meeting you Jackson,” Mark offered a small hand wave to Jackson. “I parked my car over there and I guess you go toward the bus station.”

Jackson nods, trying not to let his disappointment show. “Well, Mark, see you around then.”

Jackson gave one last wave to Mark and left for the bus. He kind of hoped to continue his discussion with Mark, to see how the older is thinking; maybe they could get along just fine. He now is left without money and without a kiss, but at least he made Mark happy. Again, he doesn’t understand why his feeling of waiting to see Mark happy.

***

Jackson looks around the school cafeteria; maybe he can spot the black mop of hair in the crowd, but with no luck. “Where could he be?”

“Who?” Jaebum asks, raising his head from his phone. He spends his free time texting his boyfriend like he doesn’t have better things to do.

“Youngjae, have you seen him?” Jackson lies smoothly. He isn’t quite ready to say that he may develop a crush on the handsome senior.

“Are you in idiot or re you pretending? Youngjae didn’t come to school today, he got the flu.”  Jaebum replies and turns back to his phone. He smiles at whatever his boyfriend sent him and Jackson becomes jealous.

He stuffs his mouth with fries when he spots Mark walking out of the cafeteria doors. He stands up, not giving Jaebum any explanation and runs after the older.

He sees Mark entering the club office and he is about to enter too, but remembers that he doesn’t have any idea what he will do after that. Ok, he wants to talk to Mark, but he can’t just go and say ‘hey, I would like to talk’, because that will be weird, and Jackson doesn’t want to be weird, not when comes to Mark.

He was about to turns and leave when Mark exits the office with lots of books on his hands. “Jackson, can you help me?”

Jackson pretends to look surprised when Mark calls him and turns around with big puppy eyes. “Of course,”