✧ Chapter 1: Me before You

Everyone loved Luhan.

Who wouldn’t honestly? The foreign student had always been so loveable. Teachers adored him. Freshmen looked up to him. Sophomores respected him. Girls were head-over-heels for him.

Luhan was a beauty with a brain.

Despite being an honourable member of the student councilor body, he maintained straight As’ in his examinations, rivaling that of Sehun’s.

Luhan ate humble pie in offering help towards his peers’ inadequate areas, and that soon earned him the title of being the kind friend that everyone loved so much.

He smiled in flatter.

A naturally sportive person at heart, Luhan was even flawless in soccer. He played the vital role of the main striker for the school team with classmates Sehun and Kai as they made a pact even before school term started. A cute face with yet manly skills, he had no lack of suitors cheering in every tournament.

He smiled in gratitude.

To top it all off, Luhan still had a knack for humour despite being such an ace student. Time to time, he would pull a prank on his friends but his jokes were always harmless. A good-natured prankster. They served only for the sole purpose of making others laugh, and never believed in insulting. His favourite prey would always be Sehun because unlike the ball of sunshine he was, Sehun was ice cold like winter, barely giving any reactions. Sehun didn’t mean to disappoint Luhan, but he was just immune to his signature antics. Sometimes a little too crazy for his liking.

It was only that rare time when Luhan secretly swapped his beef burger for Sehun’s small packet of fries that the said dull person actually lit up.

He smiled in contentment.

Everything about Luhan was just so perfect and happy. He was outgoing and fun. He lacked of nothing and there was absolutely no visible crack seen in his life. It was only a promising future that was expected to lay out.

Until one day, Luhan went to the field and suddenly announced that he was pulling out of this year’s annual heats.

With that familiar expression plastered on his pale face, the latter was still smiling.

Everyone demanded why, especially Sehun, who wouldn’t take no for a ing answer. He had to resort to pulling Luhan by the bleachers when the latter didn’t respond.

Luhan was tormentingly calm, Sehun was hastily enraged. It was like the howling waves against thundering skies.

It wasn’t until Sehun snapped and started punching him in the stomach, accusing him of playing charity that the smile from Luhan vanished permanently.

“I have cerebral aneurysm, Sehun! I didn’t want this either!”

Luhan stopped pretending and crumbled for the first time. He revealed his feelings with much resentment along with a broken composure. It was the raw, vulnerable side in contrast to his sunny one.

The silence was deafening.

Sehun got suspended the very next day but he never felt any remorse. The only remorse he felt was not realizing that even the happiest person he knew could fall into pieces.

---

“Honey, Kai came by to pass you some biology notes again.”

Sehun knew it was his mother by the door that wasn’t the only thing separating them. He had become distant and even reserved after Luhan’s departure and locked himself in the 4 walls of the room that never comforted his woes afterall.

“I’ll leave it here, alright?” She stated gently when there was no response from the other side.

Sehun heard the shuffling of heavy feet before it became completely inaudible. He knew that she was reluctant to leave him alone but Sehun really didn’t want anyone to see his bloodshot eyes, sunken cheeks, and hollow shell.

Summer had betrayed him when it was supposed to be his favourite season. Sehun had visualized it to be this sequence in particular craft— win the heat finals, create music and memories, maybe hitch a double date with Luhan, be promoted to the next level stream, repeat and then graduate from hellhole with a diploma. But now, all that he saw was grim, if he even saw anything through clouded orbs.

Now it consisted of furious midnight scribbles tagged along with a morning sigh of, “Why did Luhan die?”

Sehun would watch the clouds aimlessly if it was the day, and the twinkling stars if it was night. Either way, he always had a pen tangled in his fingers poised over the blank white sheet, but opened diary with unwritten lines— the words he tried to find which refused to draw ink. The empty pages remained bleak while soft ballad music crescendoed in his room.

His words were dead because his bestfriend was.

Scrambling up his feet, he went over to unlock the door and picked up the notes left by his mother. The paper contained his name and Sehun recognized the neat handwriting coming from Kai. There was even a blue thumb stain on the side of the column that he had carelessly left in a rush to visit. Still, the information looked foreign to him for he had missed a huge worth of classes. Kai had been dropping notes after school but he never bothered to glance at them though he did feel sorry.

Sehun wondered if Kai was still sharing the same grief.

---

Sehun went back to college after a week. The entire academy felt different… either with Sehun’s presence, or Luhan’s absence. News seemed to spread fast over his passing last week.

He was not uncomfortable with the voided yet pitiful stares people gave him and let them feed on his mystery. Sehun kept his hands in his pockets the whole time. He was well-aware of it, it was too obvious not to, but chose to ignore them. Everyone was curious— they weren’t genuinely concerned and the guy knew it.

The class went rigid when Sehun stepped into the class with the exception of his seatmate behind who looked elated with his abrupt return.

But what riled Sehun up was something else because he stormed to the back of the room, everyone watching with hitched breaths as he stopped in front of a particular desk.

His obsidian eyes dart to the back and then to the front but he still showed no emotions, “Where is Luhan’s desk?”

The tallest guy, by the name of Park Chanyeol, lifted his head off the table and was surprised by Sehun’s sudden question, and intrusion, but still jerked his head, “It’s at the back.”

“So why exactly is it left at the back?”

Chanyeol hesitated for a while before he garnered his courage.

“It’s because he’s... dead.” Instantly, Chanyeol realised his slip of tongue and his hand flew to his lips.

There were soft murmurs and chatters amongst the crowd, like Chanyeol had just spoken a gravely forbidden topic. With such painful clarity, Sehun locked his jaw and remained fixated in his stance, “It’s only been a week and you are going to act as if Luhan never existed at all?” Sehun spun around, glaring at everyone who instantly ducked their heads in shame, “Are you all going to act like this? Don’t you remember what kind of friend Luhan was?”

It was new to all that the most quiet student in class was actually speaking up, his deep voice thick with distaste especially. 

“He was a dear friend to us and we are all saddened with his departure.” Chanyeol answered carefully but Sehun let out a snigger, “But it’s creepy to be seated next to a vacant chair and seat that a dead—“

“His name is Luhan.”

Chanyeol paused for a while before he sighed apologetically. “Look, Sehun.. I— I don’t want to argue with you okay? I know you feel the most terrible an—“

“I don’t need your sympathy—“ Sehun looked ready to hurl Chanyeol up his place but was stopped by a strong arm.

“Sehun.” A crestfallen voice begged, “Don’t do this.”

He turned around to see Kai, wearily shaking his head and released his grip. Their eyes met and Sehun detected a despondent tune in his warning.

“And you allowed this as the chairperson?” Sehun pulled away and took a step back, “He was our bestfriend, Kai. Our bestfriend.” His words were straightforward and brittle with a punch on every accusation. The bruising was evident in his frown.

Kai looked away this time.

“I lost him too, Sehun.”

The sky no longer seemed blue and yellow because summer was damaged and seatmates Kai and Sehun are the loneliest people around.

---

It was literature period but no one could focus on anything. Especially with flowery metaphors and lengthy personifications involved. Thankfully, the teacher hadn’t noticed this though she was caught rather off-guard with Sehun back in her class. 

“Hey man, you okay now?”

The tanned male nudged him as he watched the dark clouds of dismay still hovering around his friend.

“I’m fine.”

Fact of the matter, he was not. Sehun had opened up a page of the novel but never paid attention if it was the correct one. Literature was Luhan’s favourite subject. He would occasionally visit the library no one ever goes to anymore because it was filled with musky scents and dead poets. Kai and Sehun both thought Luhan had lost it when he mentioned that he wanted to join his idols in their immortal world. That was how much he loved poetry.

“I never really understood why Luhan liked literature so much.” Sehun confessed as he scanned the dry contents of his novel.

Kai’s lips fell apart slightly, probably in relief, before he loosened up. “Yeah, me too. It’s a bore.”

The rest of the lesson was quiet. Sehun and Kai found comfort in each other’s presence. They never said anything else, but the lingering sadness was still cloaked around them. But still, they never said anything.

Class ended right on the bell that Sehun had never grown fond to but it was pleasant to his ears today.

He grabbed his books, messy and cluttered, and swung the bag over his shoulders before glancing to the desolated desk and chair next to the cupboard. Pitiful and distant, like its owner.

“Sehun, where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here.”

“Are you going to the rooftop?” Kai called out from behind, he was trying his luck.

Sehun still did not turn around. “I can’t. I might just hear his voice.” A chord struck in his heart. Too late, the wind brought it mercilessly.  His head rang, Luhan singing that classic Chinese song that Sehun had inevitably memorized along with the forlorn strumming of guitar strings.

“We have soccer practice for the semis later. We need you to be there.”

“I’m not going anymore.” Sehun said a little firmer.

“No.” Kai instructed firmly, “You have to come. This is an order from your vice-captain.”

“You know I won’t be going, Kai.” Sehun repeated a second time and left the class.

And Kai knew it was agonizingly true.

---

Whenever Sehun laughed longer, Luhan would laugh harder. They were two peas in a pod. Sehun never understood why, but Luhan always countered, “seeing you look so happy is rare and that makes me happy”.

He remembered his face when Luhan said those words. Mindful and just genuinely happy. He remembered it so vividly it hurt. Luhan was a bestfriend, almost like a sworn brother. They were both the only child of the family so everything fell in place naturally. Sehun had learnt to live with him, and with Luhan gone meant that his life was unbalanced now. Like an incompleted jigsaw puzzle missing a piece.

“I came to take back my jersey.”

Sehun had always been rather afraid of Luhan’s mother for she seemed intimidating and strict, but before him now, she seemed so frail and heartbroken over the loss of her son.

“Okay, you can go up his room.” She sniffed and blew her tears dry with a dainty napkin.

“Auntie... I’m so sorry about Luhan.” Sehun confessed and he meant it.

“Oh no. Please don’t be, dear.” She strutted next to Sehun on the couch and cupped his hardened jaw, “Soccer was his life. Knowing his character, he wouldn’t go in peace without playing in the match.” Mdm Xi muttered in between ruins.

Sehun had to suppress his emotions because they had been flowing out of him for over a week so he simply nodded.

“Go up to his room. I’ve tidied up for you.”

Sehun relented and headed up.

“By the way, Sehun? Luhan left you something.” She announced out of the blue, “Seems like he wanted you to read them.”

---

Luhan’s room was still as Sehun remembered. The warm red and gold wallpaper were still crusted around the walls, his electric guitar still promptly resting on the stand, his table lined up with nothing but books and a few frames. Most of the fragments echoed of the past, some sang to the present like the calendar with the marking of their upcoming annual heats. The rest whispered of future when he caught sight of an unfinished song sheet meant for their winter gig.

It should have been brief and easy claiming back his jersey, but Sehun found himself lingering around the room longer than he meant for. He was scared to discard his footsteps in a room he might never visit again, scared that he might forget how his bestfriend looked like, scared that he may be driven insane into losing count their bittersweet memories together.

Perhaps it was just all too surreal.

Remembering his initial motive, Sehun grabbed the jersey folded neatly on top of the untouched bed. His eyes flitted to a small polka dot box resting next to it.

There was a slip of tiny paper nicely settled on top of it.

For my bestfriend.

Sehun furrowed his brows and shook the parcel lightly before removing its lid. His eyes blinked profusely in awe at the amount of colourful envelopes stacked inside. He was bewildered and wondered if this was another one of Luhan’s pranks again. There was a small cassette tape as well as a beaded wristband which Sehun promptly clasped onto his wrist.

Still feeling confused at the pretty box, Sehun skimmed a finger amidst all the envelops. There were a bundle of them, Sehun hadn’t count how many because he hated numbers but they all had a marking jotted down at the front.

Sehun took the green envelop with a number ‘1’ indicated on it, assuming it’s the letter Luhan wanted him to read first and took out the foolscap letter hidden inside.

Congratulations on finding this box.

Sehun inwardly chuckled.

Dear Sehun,
If you are reading this, it means that I didn’t make it through beyond the quarter-finals.

A stinging sensation clutched his heart as Sehun’s grip on the paper unconsciously tightened. Time was an unfair for taking away his friend.

Please don’t be too upset, Sehun. I’m not at all. I’ve accepted all this, really. Real men don’t cry! >:D 

Sehun rolled his eyes as he continued reading the handwritten letter. What a liar. No one could accept their life ending without their own approval. Will Luhan ever stop lying even without his imprint on Earth?

But what I’m worried about is.. you see, I kinda made a promise with this girl I met at the café. Yeah.. a girl. Sorry for not telling you bro. We were supposed to have a blind date this Wednesday if I can pull through the weekend that is.

Huh? Sehun checked his phone, it was already Friday. Shouldn’t the girl be aware of Luhan’s death by now? Even if she hadn’t, who in the right mind will still be waiting in the café after 2 days? That would be stupid.

So could you do me a favour and stand in for my date? It’s at 5.30PM and I don’t want to keep the most beautiful girl waiting in vain.

P/s: don’t bail out on me please!

“What the hell?” Sehun frowned immediately as he glanced his strap watch. It was already 6.12PM but that was not what he was groaning about. It was because Luhan had made such an unreasonable request at his own whim and suddenly landed Sehun in a date with someone he didn’t even know. He didn’t even know how she looked like, no way was he going to comply to this favour. Even if he didn’t recognize her, there was no way in hell he could replace him because he didn’t look like Luhan one bit. He couldn’t even attempt to play imposter with the best acting skills in the world because their faces were just too different.

Seriously, Luhan was taking his pranks too far this time.

He was still watching the same black ink on fading paper, figuring out Luhan’s intentions but kept it back in the envelop and stuffed it with the rest of them in the box. 

Sehun intended to leave the house with one jersey, his own. But he ended up leaving with two additional things— a present box and a strange feeling.

---

Try as he might, Sehun couldn’t just ignore and defy a dead man’s last words. It would be too sinful and he might just be haunted with unappealing nightmares.

He had been in Luhan’s letter, which he already considered a will because it was the last thing he wrote. He was a part of Luhan’s story, a bright and bold one. Whatever vessel he will be getting into later, he might as well look around although he highly doubt she will be there.

Sehun arrived at a cozy vintage-looking café by the popular mall behind their hometown that was famous for their cinnamon churros topped with vanilla ice-cream. It was a hangout that he used to frequent with both Kai and Luhan. The windchime clinked noisily as he pushed past the oxblood glass door and it was the first sign of bad idea, Sehun thought. He suddenly wanted to leave— go home, walk into the bedroom and shut the door lock behind.

Alas, he still entered the vicinity and searched. How was he supposed to know what she looked like? Luhan never told him a single clue, just a vague ‘beautiful’ as its description.

He looked around the crowd when his eyes landed on a particular demure lady sitting next to a window, dressed in a chic turqoise flannel and dark denim. She had ordered two cups of cappuccino, as if anticipating someone else. She was alone.

He wasn’t sure if he got the right person, but it had to be true because—

She was so, so beautiful. Nothing like anyone he had ever seen before.

It reminded Sehun of a blooming flower because that was how she pretty was.

That was when it clicked. She probably didn’t received news of Luhan’s tragedy. But there was one matter Sehun couldn’t comprehend.. why was she still waiting here when Wednesday was long over?

Sehun decided to go over and bring her the unfortunate news then leave immediately and end this game Luhan had kind of forced him into. Technically speaking, it was done without Sehun having a say in it.

“Luhan..?”

She beckoned knowingly in a sweet, female voice and Sehun halted in his tracks. Something was wrong…

Why was she still calling him Luhan?

“Luhan, is that really you?”

The piercing friction of his shoes gave the lead away. Sehun heaved and felt his breath fall short as he unsurely, waved a shaky hand… directly in front of her lovely face beaming with excitement.

“Luhan,” She sighed wistfully and smiled with crescent, distant eyes, as she greeted Sehun, missing his shocked gaze and inaudible gasp, “you finally came.”

Luhan’s date… was blind.

A/N:

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MY FIRST POST IN 2017.
Hope you guys like it~ 
I will be updating this regularly every week, yay! :)
Anyway, my HunHan feels is strong in this one.