Hotdog Squids.

The first time they got together was probably because of hotdog squids.

They served hotdog squids every night during their summer camp back in third grade – when the camp was first introduced in their school. Every other girl was disgusted by how it looked because the hotdogs were a bit burnt since they were roasted, not fried. Probably only several actually enjoy the burnt hotdog squids and a few even found them cute.

Two of them were Myoui Mina and Son Chaeyoung.

It was a little unbelievable how their friendship started over hotdog squids. But some friendship even started on picking each other or being each other’s accomplice on stealing which is a lot more unbelievable.

Grade school was fun but quick. So was middle school.

Mina and Chaeyoung stayed with each other throughout those years of Mina being bullied for a pretty long time during middle school because she was older than most of the kids (actually, all) in their grade. Her family moved to Korea in a pretty weird time for the school year so she had to stay back for a year on top of going to school one year later already. It was a bit unpleasant because the kids back on grade school never cared if they have a fifty-year old man or woman beside them on class if that person would share eraser or bread but it was a difficult time for Mina in middle school.

It shifted to Chaeyoung when they entered high school because of a reason even more unbelievable. She was bullied because she was short and because she was friends with Mina.

“Why do they care if I am friends with you? They are not the ones who are friends with you!”

Mina knew it was because she was older but no matter how much she told Chaeyoung about that being the reason, Chaeyoung could never understand why people hate on other people so quickly and lamely because of petty reasons they could have saved themselves the hatred to.

It was unthinkable for Chaeyoung to think that some people bully Mina because of her age and some people bully her because of being friends with someone of Mina’s age on their grade.

“Do you eat people’s hair or something? No, you’re just two years older than the rest of us!”

Mina would always smile whenever Chaeyoung would defend her even though it was only the two of them. It wasn’t really them to fight but on one occasion, Chaeyoung actually came out of a catfight because they were bullying Mina too much to the point of Mina crying.

And Mina never cries. She was always smiling and laughing. Her heart was always kind towards other people and her eyes always look out for other people but when they made her cry, Chaeyoung actually jumped in the air to knock (figuratively) some sense to two girls who wouldn’t leave her Mina alone.

“I don’t regret it,” Chaeyoung told her when she was walking out of the principal’s office, with a few bruises on her face.

Mina was sitting on her feet on the other side of the corridor, longingly looking at the door until Chaeyoung came out. The younger had told the principal the truth but the principal still wouldn’t take violence as a solution even though Chaeyoung never hit those two girls. She just jumped and sat on top of them, yelling how they were so mean and how she’d seriously hit the two of them if they make Mina cry again.

The older only looked at her eyes with her bloodshot eyes because after Chaeyoung was caught by a teacher on top of one of those girls, she was crying for Chaeyoung. Then, without saying a word, she stood up, walked towards her and hugged her tightly.

She was crying again. “Don’t ever do that again. I don’t want you getting into trouble because of me.”

Chaeyoung wanted to melt because she was suddenly too tired. It was as if Mina’s hold provided the comfort her entire being has been holding for the entire day (and probably years of taking this impossible bullying about things that shouldn’t matter if everyone could just stop and look that everyone is imperfect as they are) and she just wanted to collapse.

She didn’t really want to cry because she was telling Mina again, “Don’t cry.”

But she did.

It was one of those moments when Chaeyoung thanked the heavens and all the deities out there for letting her meet someone like Mina. For letting her have a best friend who was both soft and strong, a kind of marshmallow or pillow soft that makes you want to rest peacefully and a kind of brick strong to hold you up whenever you feel like falling on the ground.

It got a lot better once they entered university. People were more mature towards other and older people on their year because there were actually people in the university who were studying with five children already or with five jobs. And there were people which were smaller than Chaeyoung. And not that it should matter, of course.

They actually have two Japanese classmates which were both even older than Mina: Hirai Momo and Minatozaki Sana.

Chaeyoung liked them because Momo was smart and Sana was just… weird. But nevertheless, they were both fun to be with and Mina was always happy to be with them, too, because they always talk about Japan and Osaka. (It turned out all of them were from Osaka.) Sometimes, Chaeyoung would just sit, sip from her frappe and listen to them ramble about Japan and Osaka, and pretty much all Japanese things they used to love, enjoy or disgust that they all miss now because they are in Korea.

Sometimes, Chaeyoung would even ask them to speak in Japanese so she wouldn’t feel that weird sitting there and not talking. Because if they speak in Japanese, she wouldn’t understand what they were saying and that would be better than actually understanding what they were saying but not participating in the conversation.

Mina would always be the one to break the pattern though. She’d begin talking to Chaeyoung and everything about Korea with her.

It was unnerving to hate your friends, Chaeyoung would tell you. Because she actually liked Sana and Momo! They weren’t bad people. They were even studious to some extent when it seems like they were about to fail a subject and they were always looking out for Mina and Chaeyoung but more and more, Chaeyoung just wanted them to disappear.

Not disappear as in die or something, no. As Chaeyoung said, they were good people, but more and more, she just wanted it to be her and Mina only again. She missed talking to her best friend without Momo or Sana around. She missed shopping with her only and making each other wear the most horrible outfits they would never buy. She missed watching movies with her only and eating each other’s food.

She missed her.

But Mina looked so happy with Momo and Sana. How could she blame her? If she moved to Japan at an early age and had to leave everything about her ancestry to another country, and meet people who share some pieces of her identity, wouldn’t she want to be with her as well?

“Hey!” Chaeyoung almost jumped out of her skin and made a scene inside the library.

Nayeon was waving her hand like mad in front of her as if she was asking for some rescue in Chaeyoung’s face. She was a classmate in a subject or two. And surprisingly, Jeongyeon, her shadow in the form of her best friend was not beside her.

“Sorry, what?”

“Is someone sitting here?” Nayeon whispered. “Where’s Mina?”

“No,” Chaeyoung answered. “She has class.”

Nayeon nodded and sat beside her.

“Where’s Jeongyeon?”

“She has class.”

Chaeyoung nodded and watched Nayeon pull four books from her bag. She wondered how all those fit inside a small bag but she was wondering about other things and suddenly, she couldn’t study at all. She just kept on glancing at Nayeon.

“What?” Nayeon finally turned and asked her.

The younger blinked innocently.

“You’ve been looking at me like you have some crush on me or something. Sorry, baby, but I’m not available,” Nayeon told her. Then, she sighed. “Is there something you want to ask?”

“No, nothing,” Chaeyoung immediately said.

Nayeon stared at her like how ghosts in horror movies stare at people they are haunting while they are sleeping. Then, she went back to her books.

“Does Jeongyeon have other friends beside you?”

Nayeon turned to look at her and for a second, Chaeyoung thought she would pull her hair or something for bothering her but the older just looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“Just,” Chaeyoung began, not exactly knowing how to say what she means. “Does she spend time with other people besides you? Or her family? Other significant friends besides you?”

“Sure,” Nayeon slowly said, still looking at the younger as if she was asking if human pancreas are also green like some fish. “She’s pretty close to a lot of people, too. Why?”

“Is that okay? I mean, are you alright with that? Are you not…”

“What?”

Chaeyoung realized how ridiculous she must be sounding. “Um, nothing. Sorry. I was just…”

“I also have a lot of friends besides Jeongyeon. But she is my best friend,” Nayeon told her nevertheless.

“It’s weird to feel bad when your best friend has other friends besides you, right?”

“Yeah, definitely weird,” Nayeon nodded. Then, she added quickly, “But Jeongyeon is not just my best friend. She’s my girlfriend, too. So no matter how many friends she has, or how many friends I have, that doesn’t matter because I know who’s in her heart and who’s in mine.” She winked at Chaeyoung.

Chaeyoung didn’t see that coming. Maybe, she was just covering her eyes or something.

They have a project in one class where they have to go to the museum, study some relics or art pieces, and write a paper about it. Some of the class complained how it was difficult to write a fifty-page paper about one piece of something in the museum alone.

“Okay, then. Group yourselves into three. But let’s make it seventy-five pages.”

The class groaned.

“Do you want it or not?” their professor asked them. She was going for a take-it-or-leave-it moment with her students and it was cruel. Seventy-five pages, seriously? “Compromise, children. That’s how the world works.”

Compromise, yes. But not a seventy-five pages paper!

The class had to agree.

“Cheep up, children. There’s a nearby food festival near the museum. Eat before and after so you’ll be able to complete the paper by deadline on Thursday, two weeks from now. Is that clear?”

Everyone said yes in unison.

Then, everyone began grouping themselves. Some actually did that already and were already in a group of three. Mina looked for Chaeyoung, like they always did whenever there is a grouping. Chaeyoung was already looking at her but before Mina could say something, Chaeyoung told her, “Group with Sana and Momo.”

Mina was surprised. “What? Why?”

“You could look for Japanese art ensembles together,” Chaeyoung said, smiling at her.

“What about you?” Mina asked.

“I grouped with Dahyun and Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung answered.

“Then, we can all go to the museum together this Saturday and eat together after!” Mina brightly suggested.

Chaeyoung looked uncertain. “We’re going this Sunday.”

That was the first time ever that they never even tried to be on the same group together. Before, even if the grouping was through counting, they would make ways so the two of them could end up on the same group together.

It was only the beginning though.

After that, Chaeyoung didn’t only avoid Mina on school projects but on everything. It was strange to think how they were best friends but they weren’t even talking anymore. Chaeyoung would fly out of the classroom as soon as class was finished and before Mina could approach her. Mina had no idea where she was going in between their classes but she would appear right before the professor enters the classroom for the next class.

It hurt Mina. She couldn’t understand what she did wrong. Or if she did something wrong.

But it probably hurt Chaeyoung more. Although pain should never be a competition, it just became a lot easier to see each other as just another person as more days passed when they pretended that the other was really just another person.

“Hey, Jihyo, have you seen Chaeyoung?” Mina asked Chaeyoung’s seatmate on their last period because she has not seen Chaeyoung all day. Or yesterday.

Jihyo looked at her as if she was eating mosquitoes. “She’s sick. I heard she has a really high fever ever since Friday last week. It’s been four days.”

Mina’s eyes widen.

“You don’t know? Aren’t you her best friend?”

The words struck Mina. She would have run to the train station to get to Chaeyoung’s but there was an important quiz on their last period. She couldn’t focus though. She could just think about Chaeyoung and how she is sick for four days and how she didn’t even know and what kind of best friend she is.

She did run to the train station as quickly as she could after she turned her paper over to the professor who also asked her how Chaeyoung is. Even their professor knew her best friend was sick and she couldn’t feel worse.

Mrs. Son was surprised when she was Mina panting as opened their front door. “Oh, Mina. How are you? Why haven’t you come here for a long time?”

“Good evening, Aunt,” Mina said, not thinking anymore how impolite she was for not answering Chaeyoung’s mother’s questions but she was more concerned about Chaeyoung more than anything now. “How’s Chaeyoung?”

“Her fever has gone down a bit but she still can’t move,” Mrs. Son said. “She feels weak and can barely eat.”

“Can I see her?”

“I’m not sure if she’s awake but go up,” Chaeyoung’s mother smiled at her. “I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

Mina was not sure about that after how Chaeyoung avoided her like she had some contagious disease. But she didn’t want to think about anything like that because for now, she just wanted to see Chaeyoung and make sure she is okay.

It has been pretty long since she was last at Chaeyoung’s but her feet and her body still remembered the house and the staircase it has climbed for so many times ever since they were children. She could reach Chaeyoung’s house with her eyes closed and she was sure Chaeyoung could do the same to her house, too.

Silently, she opened the door to Chaeyoung’s room.

Chaeyoung was awake and was looking at her. It would be creepy if she didn’t feel strange feeling strange about entering her best friend’s room after a long time.

“Hi,” Mina awkwardly said.

“Hi,” Chaeyoung answered, as awkwardly.

Mina stood by Chaeyoung’s door, uncertain if she should move forward or not. She looked at Chaeyoung and noticed how the younger looked paler, her eyes were watery and lips were dry. She was already in her pajamas even though it was only past six in the evening. There was a hot compress in her forehead and a basin on her bedside table.

“You can sit on the bed but don’t blame me if you catch something,” Chaeyoung said, not really wanting to sound hostile but that’s just how it came. Perhaps she has gotten used about being hostile to her best friend.

“What is wrong with you?” Mina asked, forgetting that she came here because Chaeyoung was sick and she wanted to make sure she was alright. She couldn’t quite take anymore what Chaeyoung was doing to her. She didn’t even know what she did wrong!

“I was just looking out for you,” Chaeyoung reasoned out.

“Why are you doing this to me? What did I ever do so wrong to you?” Mina finally confronted her.

Chaeyoung only stared at her. This was what she never wanted to happen, that Mina would get mad at her and regret that she met her. That Mina would hate every memory they had, even the good ones, because she would get to hate Chaeyoung. This was why she was avoiding her. This was why she was staying away from her because if she stayed a bit closer, she might be able to do something she would regret. She might be able to feel something she shouldn’t (even though this was a little late already as Chaeyoung realized).

“I thought – I thought we’re best friends,” Mina said lastly, tears pooling in her eyes, as she moved to leave.

“It’s all your fault,” Chaeyoung finally opened to speak. Her voice was lower than usual.

Mina turned back to her. “Huh?! How is any of this my fault? You – you… You just started avoiding me without any reason and I didn’t even know what to do! And now you’re telling me it’s my fault?!”

“You make it so hard for me not to fall in love with you,” Chaeyoung said, her eyes completely on Mina.

“You could have told me that!” Mina answered, not completely understanding what Chaeyoung just said. And when she finally did, she looked at her best friend and blinked a lot. Softly, she asked, “What?”

Chaeyoung kept her gaze on her because she couldn’t avoid this anymore. If Mina hated her for this, she could live knowing she didn’t hurt her best friend on purpose and their friendship didn’t get broken because she was too chicken.

She would still probably die if Mina hated her for this, if Mina hated her at all. But at least she wouldn’t blame anything but herself for doing this to their friendship, and thank herself as well for being brave to not live on the chains of her feelings for her best friend.

“You make it so hard for me not to fall in love with you.”

Mina only stared at her, as if she was measuring if Chaeyoung was pranking or not.

But Chaeyoung was not.

“I thought at first, it was just normal. Because you’re my best friend. I hated it when you get close with other people. I hated it when someone else makes you smile or laugh. I hated it when you spend more time with other people. I thought it was okay to feel that way… but other people don’t get too mad because of that with their best friends. And I tried to stop it. I tried to shake it off and get over it. But I can’t. And it’s just more difficult to be around you knowing you’ll never feel the same way towards me and –”

“How did you know?” Mina slowly interrupted her, tilting her head in confusion.

“Huh?”

“How did you know I will never feel the same way towards you?”

This time, Chaeyoung was the one blinking a lot. “What?” she asked again, still not getting what Mina was asking.

“I said,” Mina slowly repeated. “How did you know I will never feel the same way towards you?”

Chaeyoung didn’t really think it was a question to be answered but Mina was staring at her and waiting for an answer. Stuttering, she said, “I-Uh. Because I’m your best friend, and a girl, if I need to mention, so I just assume –”

“Exactly!” Mina interrupted her again, looking exasperatedly at her. “You always assume! You always assume I’d much want to be with Sana or Momo because they are Japanese, I am Japanese, so what?! Do Japanese eat through their nose? Do they walk with their hands? No! We walk with our feet and we eat with out mouths the same way Koreans do!” She stopped for a moment and stared at Chaeyoung. Her eyes were soft and there was something in them that was saying she just wanted them to be alright again.

“I can go with you to the museum for a school project. I can go with you to a food festival…” Mina continued, tears beginning to trickle down from her eyes to her cheeks. “You always just assume… You assume I like this or I don’t like that but you never really ask me what I don’t like… or who I like.”

Chaeyoung removed the blanket that was covering half of her body and stepped out of the bed, walking towards Mina until she was only one foot away from her, unsure if everything that happened and all that was said actually happened and was said. But when she reached her cold hands to wipe the tears from Mina’s face, she knew everything was real.

“I told you, I hate seeing you cry,” she whispered.

Mina looked at her and could only cry more.

“Who do you like, Minari?”

Mina met her soft gaze.

“Who?” Chaeyoung asked again.

“I like you.” Mina breathed.

Chaeyoung smiled weakly at her – not exactly matching the happiness she was feeling inside but her legs were almost giving up because she wasn’t supposed to be even standing up and she was beginning to get dizzy. “Then, don’t cry,” she told her. “Because I’m in love with you, Minari. I must have loved you for a long time even before I realized I am in love with you.”

Mina could only cry.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just don’t want to see you hate me.” Chaeyoung gave her a chaste kiss on the cheeks before collapsing in Mina’s arms.

“Chaeyoung! Chaeyoung!” Mina called her name over and over again.

Chaeyoung was okay and it was all Mina needed to hear when the doctor came out of the emergency room with Chaeyoung’s mother. She was crying a lot and she knew Chaeyoung wouldn’t like it if she saw her crying that badly but she was just so worried about her.

She realized she loves Chaeyoung so much. That’s probably how we realize someone’s importance to us, she thought, when we were faced with loss, or almost loss.

“Hey,” Chaeyoung muttered, reaching her hands out to touch Mina’s hair.

“Hey, you’re awake!” Mina said. Her eyes were bloodshot but the moment she saw Chaeyoung awake, she just couldn’t help but cry again. “I thought – I thought I’m going to lose you, Chaeng. I thought we’re going to lose you.”

“Don’t cry,” Chaeyoung told her. “You just told me you like me. How can I leave after that?”

Mina managed to laugh a little through the tears. “Well, I have something to tell you again now before you decide whether you’re ever going to leave or not.”

“What?” Chaeyoung asked, chuckling.

Mina smiled at her and she was so beautiful even with tears in her eyes because she was happy and happiness was the best thing you could wear everyday. “I love you.”

Chaeyoung didn’t see that coming. Or maybe she was just covering her eyes or something.

“Don’t cry,” Mina .

“How can I – How can I leave at all when you are saying that?” Chaeyoung was bawling out because of something similar to what Mina was wearing.

Happiness.

“Then, don’t,” Mina whispered before she leaned and kiss her best friend’s forehead.

Happiness, indeed.

“Let’s go to the food festival this Saturday together,” Chaeyoung suggested while eating the apples Mina cut for her.

“You just got out of the hospital,” Mina said worriedly.

“I’m okay now,” Chaeyoung said, convincingly. “Besides, they have these hotdog squids there. Did you go with Momo and Sana? Have you seen them?”

“Yes!” Mina excitedly said. “I thought of you when we saw them. Momo and Sana actually hated them. I don’t know how but they looked like fried dogs to Sana!”

Chaeyoung laughed. “I thought of you, too, when I saw them.”

“Really?” Mina asked, grinning at her best friend.

Chaeyoung laughed again. “Let’s not be sappy like Nayeon and Jeongyeon, please.”

“Let’s go to the food festival this Saturday together and eat hotdog squids!”

“It’ll be a date.”

“You said don’t be sappy.”

“Dates are sappy?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. We’ll hang out then.”

“I actually like the word ‘date’.”

“Will you make up your mind?!”

End

A/N:

SO I WROTE THIS FOR AROUND TWO HOURS BECAUSE HANGING OUT IN YOUTUBE AND FINDING ALL THOSE AWESOME MICHAENG FMVS WILL DO NOTHING BUT INSPIRE MORE MICHAENG FANFICS OUT OF ME ;-; HUHU

I swear they are real ;-; I can’t get over how they look at each other huhu ;-;

I just want to say I have a lot of times I can turn this fic into angst, as in total angst where there is: NO HAPPINESS WHATSOEVER, like the usual horrible person I am, but for some reason, I want this to end okay for MiChaeng huhu ;-; what have they done to me.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

PS. I apologize for the title. – EK