Chapter VI

With vacant eyes and a bad aftertaste in , Jennie was lying on her sleeping bag, trying to remember something, anything, from the last night. But nothing came to her. Almost as if someone had wiped out her memory, leaving behind only a black hole filled with throbbing pain that threatened to split her skull open.

And she wasn't even sure what was worse. The fact that she had with Lisa, or the fact that she had absolutely no recollection of it.

She was certain of two things, though. One was that she kissed Lisa and it felt amazing, even in her buzzed state, and the second, that she woke up only in her bra and . The conclusion was pretty obvious under such circumstances.

But maybe, it all wouldn't feel so awful and terrifying if she woke up to the sight of the blonde sleeping next to her. Sadly, Lisa's sleeping bag was empty and neatly folded.

Clenching her teeth, Jennie swallowed the tears that clogged . But no matter how helpless she felt right now, she had to somehow fix this mess. She put on her clothes and left the tent to look for Lisa in hopes of saving what remained of their friendship.

The morning was chilly with fog hovering above the grass like thick cobweb. Jennie swept her eyes over the meadow, but she didn't spot the blonde head among the few students who chatted in hushed voices.

“Lisa!” she shouted, not caring that she would wake up everyone.

Someone told her to shut up, but she shouted the name with desperation again.

“Jen, what the hell?” A familiar voice caught her attention and she saw Rosé leaving her tent, yawning.

Jennie ran frantic fingers through her hair, pacing back and forth. “, Rosie, I screwed up. Like really, majorly ed up.”

“Wait, hold on.” Rosé grabbed her by the arms, rooting her in place. “Is this about the kiss?”

A mirthless laugh escaped Jennie's lips and she shook her head. “It's much worse than that. I-- we've had , and now she's gone.”

“Okay, first, you need to calm down.”

Jennie shut her eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

“Great. Now, I'm sure Lisa didn't just disappear. Maybe she went to the bathroom, or for a walk?”

Nodding absently to her friend's words, Jennie noticed groggy Jisoo leaving the tent.

“What's going on? Where's Lisa?” the girl asked, propping her chin on her girlfriend's shoulder as she back-hugged her.

Rosé was about to answer her when suddenly, Jisoo's eyes widened and she blurted words of disbelief. “What the hell is Lisa doing with Seulgi?”

Jennie spun around so fast she almost lost her balance.

And there it was - an image taken straight from her worst nightmares – Lisa and Seulgi walking side by side, talking and smiling.

Seulgi was first to notice them, a nervous expression clouding her features as she stopped. Her hand landing on Lisa's arm with tenderness that had Jennie's stomach twisted in knots. The two girls exchanged a few words after which Seulgi left towards the hostel.

“Hey guys,” Lisa greeted them casually. “Didn't expect you all to be up so early.”

“What the hell was that just now?” Jisoo demanded, pointing her open palm at Seulgi's retreating figure.

Lisa frowned. “Me taking a walk?”

“I'm not asking--” Jennie stepped in front of Jisoo, cutting off her rant just as her voice rose in its volume. Apparently, Rosé was too shocked to do anything.

“Can we talk?” Jennie asked, her tone grim.

Although she was just as confused as her friends, there were more pressing matters to discuss than Lisa's and Seulgi's sudden reunion.

The blonde snorted a chuckle, shoving hands to the pockets of her over-sized hoodie. “About what?”

“About what happened yesterday,” Jennie muttered, slowly losing her patience over Lisa's nonchalant attitude.

Jisoo and Rosé took her words as their cue to leave.

“Jennie, nothing happened yesterday, okay? We've barely reached the tent when you started to vomit. I guess drinking soju and beer wasn't the best idea,” Lisa said with a shrug.

“Wait, what?” Jennie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “You mean that we haven't...”

“Had ?” Lisa prompted, chuckling. “No, and thank God because drunk is awfully messy. Not to mention that it would be extremely awkward, wouldn't it?”

Oddly enough, Lisa's words didn't bring Jennie the relief she'd sought. Just more confusion and questions.

“Look, you took off your clothes after you've vomited, and then you passed out,” Lisa said, anticipating her next question.

A quiet 'oh' fell from Jennie's lips as everything began to make sense. Everything except...

“But we did...” Jennie trailed off, feeling flustered all of a sudden, which was ridiculous. She hadn't felt flustered since high school. “Kiss, we've kissed, right?” she blurted, hands tucked into the back-pockets of her jeans as she tried to act cool.

Meanwhile her heart wanted to jump out of her chest. She was almost certain she was having some sort of seizure.

“Oh, yeah, about that,” Lisa stuttered, her cheeks flaring up and gaze veering to the side. “We can just pretend it never happened. I mean, it's not like it meant anything, right?”

Jennie looked down, biting the inside of her cheek.

What was she thinking really? That Lisa would fall for her after one sloppy, drunk kiss? Pathetic.

“Right...” she muttered dryly.

The word carried an awful sense of finality. There wasn't anything more to add, really, except for asking about Seulgi. But Jennie didn't want to go in that direction yet, afraid of what she might find there.

Lisa, however, still stood. Again, looking at her as though she waited for something. Again, with that disenchanted look of defeat.

“Well then,” she said and inhaled sharply. “I'm going to take a shower.” Her shoulders slumped, and she spun around, walking towards the hostel.

Watching her retreating figure, Jennie stifled a scream of frustration that bubbled inside her. She was pissed and she wasn't even sure at what, or at whom. Lisa? Seulgi?

No.

Most likely, just at herself.

* * *

Jennie's coffee sloshed in her mug, black drops dotting her scrambled eggs.

“Can you sit still for a damn second?” she grumbled, wiping the table with a napkin.

However, the jumpy movement of Jisoo's legs under the table continued. Squeezing the peak of her cap, which was completely rolled up by now, she glared at Lisa and Seulgi who sat three tables away from them.

“I can't look at this,” Jisoo muttered.

Jennie rolled her eyes at the irony.

“I wonder what happened,” Rosé mused while chewing on her food slowly.

Sipping her black, sugarless, coffee, Jennie stole a glance at the two girls. They were acting like best friends, chatting and laughing. A truly bizarre image taken straight out of some alternative reality.

But what bothered Jennie the most was how casual Lisa acted about the whole situation. She told them that she was having breakfast with Seulgi as if sharing meals with your cheating ex, who left you in tears for weeks, was the most natural thing to do.

Jennie heaved a sigh, dropping her fork onto a plate. She lost her appetite and she knew she couldn't blame it on her hangover.

“Okay, I have enough of this.” Jisoo stood up, knocking the table with her knee and almost spilling Jennie's coffee. “I don't know what you've done, but you better fix this mess.” She pointed her cap at the two girls oblivious to the whole commotion and stormed out of the restaurant.

“Jisoo, wait!” Rosé called out and left the table, but before she went to chase her impulsive girlfriend, she turned to Jennie. “Jen, really, just talk to her.”

“But I already did!” Jennie threw her arms in the air.

“Yeah, but not about that.” Rosé directed her stern look at Lisa and Seulgi then back at Jennie and with that, she left.

Sighing, Jennie slouched in her seat.

“May I?”

A familiar, husky voice reached her and she winced. Looking up, she saw Sooyoung with a mug of steaming coffee in her palm. Not waiting for any sort of affirmation, the girl sat down on the chair opposite of Jennie.

“You look pathetic,” she stated, brushing her hair behind her shoulder.

Jennie shook her head amused by the honest comment.

“Then why do you sit with me?”

“Well,” Sooyoung waved her hand flippantly. “For starters, you have talent and good looks. Not as good as mine, but close. That being said, we could be friends.”

“I'm flattered.” Jennie's lips broke into a grin.

Turned out the girl wasn't as prideful and petty as Jennie had imagined her to be. And her boldness was actually quite entertaining and refreshing. Perhaps, she would take her up on that friendship offer, which by the way, didn't sound like an offer at all, more like a statement.

“You should.” Sooyoung smirked over the rim of her mug. “Anyway, what's up with you and the blondie?”

Much to Jennie's dismay, the girl was also awfully observant. Poking her cold scrambled eggs with a fork, Jennie contemplated whether she should confide in her. She wasn't the type to easily open up to strangers but perhaps, an outsider's perceptive was just the thing she needed now. Rosé was too biased, and Jisoo, well, the girl pretty much hated her guts.

“I just...” Jennie said but didn't really know where to begin. Leaning back in her seat, she observed how Lisa listened to Seulgi, completely enraptured like the first time they'd met.

“Have you ever wanted someone so badly that you were afraid to do something about it because it may destroy you both?” Jennie murmured and her eyes flitted to Sooyoung.

“No,” the girl stated, her expression impassive. “Frankly, it all sounds to me like some lame excuse. If I want someone, I just go for them.” She shrugged and took another sip of her coffee.

Jennie blinked before snorting a chuckle. It was that simple, huh?

“Besides, isn't the perspective of losing her to someone else much more terrifying? Especially, to someone who is in a on-and-off relationship with her best friend-slash-ex?” Sooyoung questioned with an arched eyebrow.

So don’t let the fear of losing Lisa stop you from going after her, because one day, you may lose her to someone else, anyway. Rosé's words from the first day rang out in Jennie's mind. Back then she would have never guessed that her friend's prophecy would come true so soon. Much less that it would be thanks to Seulgi, again.

Sooyoung put away her mug, startling Jennie into awareness.

“If you don't go and talk to her right now, I'll personally drag you to her.” She leveled Jennie with a cold gaze. “You have to know that I do not appreciate when my friends mope around. It spoils my mood.”

Sooyoung wasn't joking, that much Jennie knew. But she also figured it out that the least she could do was to find out what caused Lisa's sudden change of heart regarding Seulgi.

Tossing her fork onto her plate, Jennie left the table. She covered the distance between the tables in a few quick strides and approached Lisa.

“Can I talk to you for a second?”

Lisa flinched, staring at Jennie in wide-eyed surprise, while Seulgi didn't even spare her a glance as she checked something on her phone.

“Uhm, yeah sure,” the blonde replied and after a hasty 'excuse me', which Seulgi acknowledged with a nod, she followed Jennie to the exit.

Despite the early hour, the sun was already scorching. They hid from it under the trees, away from the heat and from the prying eyes of gossip-thirsty freshmen students.

“Did something happen?” Lisa asked worriedly.

“No. I mean, maybe, I don't know.” Jennie ran her palm along the length of her forehead as she tired to reorganize her thoughts. “What's up with you and Seulgi?” She finally blurted.

Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, Lisa averted her gaze to the ground. “We've talked and she apologized. I think she deserves a second chance,” she said in a small voice.

Jennie scoffed in disbelief.

“She cheated on you with her best friend. You saw them with your own eyes.” She paused, struggling to keep her voice leveled. Never in her life had she lashed out at Lisa, and this would not be an exception. “Do you really believe that she has changed?”

Lisa lifted her gaze, a small smile drawing on her lips. “Time will tell. You cannot always predict what will happen, Jennie. Sometimes you have to take the risk and hope for the best.”

The simple truth left Jennie in a breathless stupor like a punch to the gut. Seulgi hurt her, broke her almost beyond repair, and yet Lisa was willing to give her another chance.

And here was Jennie with her stupid fear of saying three simple words. To the girl who packed half of the pharmacy just for her sake; who had perfect coordination yet always found a way to tumble into her arms; who chased away her biggest nightmares and left her breathless with her smile.

“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?” Lisa's voice awoke Jennie into alertness.

She looked at her, into her expectant, hopeful eyes that were on the verge of tears.

Why is she crying?

Before Jennie realized it, she was by Lisa's side wiping the lone tear of her cheek. It felt like being back in high school when she noticed the crying Thai girl for the first time and decided that she should smile instead. Could it be that she loved her for so long?

...hope for the best...

“Yeah, though it's probably long overdue, but... I love you, Lisa.”

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update this. I've been in a bit of a slump lately plus this chapter was really difficult to write. I'm not fully satisfied with it but perhaps I'll edit it some time later. Sorry for making Seulgi the "bad guy". Believe me, I truly love our Seulbear! Also, the next chapter will be the final one. I never really planned this to be a long story. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this update. Thank you for all your support!