I stared at the computer screen. One click and everything can change. I can get in contact with my biological parents, meet them and we can become a one big happy family.

Hopefully.

I re-read the mail that I was sending to the orphanage in Pyeongtaek City. Happy Children Home and Orphanage. What a cheesy name.

A month after discovering that I'm adopted, I started looking into orphanage sites by my own. I thought my parents would protest or at least go against me trying to find my real identity. I had to play a ninja for a whole month until Dad admitted that he knew what I was upto.

"You could have just asked us."

"I thought that... maybe you wouldn't be happy to see me looking for my biological mom and dad."

"Are you kidding me? Of course we want you to find your identity! All you had to do was ask for the legal papers and we could have already been in contact with the orphanage. Now, it will take them 7 months to a whole year to reply back."

I am so stupid. What would have been the harm if I just asked them for the papers? But it was fun playing ninja and I did find out some information regarding the orphanage though. All I had find out at that moment was the name and address. And later dad gave me the legal adoption papers and some other papers which I didn't understand. I read the papers and everything matched except the birthname. They changed my name from 'Zinnia' to 'Mirae'. I have an English name. That is pretty cool, right?

I always hated writing mails because they were too formal. So, obviously I had tons of problem while writing this letter. Mom and Dad offered to help me but I turned them down because sooner or later I need to be independent and write my own letters. But I'm having a doubt: what if the orphanage authority never reads it?

I'll give it a shot anyhow.

"Okay," I whispered, "Now or never." With that I hit SEND. When a message showed that my mail had been delivered, I leaned back on my chair and sighed. It felt like something huge had been removed from my shoulders.

My relationship with my parents was back to normal and I wondered how stupid I was three months back. Even though I had accepted that I was adopted, I was still bitter about it. My mind was flooded with unnecessary and chaotic thoughts which would only make me depressed and angry afterwards. Unintentionally or intentionally, I hurt my parents in many ways. I was on the verge of ruining the family bond and making things awkward until I told Saeyeon and she smacked some senses into me.

I remember how the conversation went. I was at school and it was lunch and I was lost in my own thoughts. Saeyeon noticed how distracted I was and confronted me where I told her the truth. She was shocked but handled the situation way better than me. I was still angry that day and so I ranted on unnecessary stuffs to her.

"I appreciate that they took me in but goddamn I'm so unlucky. My real parents abandoned me. I pray to God that no one goes through the problems whatever I am going through now."

She was silent for quite a long time. "I pray that," she finally spoke, "orphans have the same fate as you... That they also be blessed to have the same fortune as you."

"What are you talking about, Sae? Don't pr-"

She scoffed and stopped me mid-way. "See? That's your problem. Always taking things for granted. Just because you got adopted by wonderful parents doesn't mean that other children got that priviledge. They may even be working as slaves or whatever. You have rich parents and you get everything what you want. Most people in this world don't get that, okay? Stop making yourself sound like a victim."

I remember losing my temper and told her to off. "You don't know the problems I'm going through!" I yelled at her, "Stop judging me and I do not take things for granted."

A curious crowd gathered around us and I could see Saeyeon's hurt expression. At that time her feelings didn't matter because I was beyond pissed. Just three months back, I may have been somewhat of an attention seeker. I admit it. I did unexplainable and stupid stuffs to get approval from peers my age. But at that moment I didn't feel like being the centre of attention. I hated it. I hated how everyone gathered around me and Saeyeon and kept whispering. Hyemi, out of everyone, butted in. She seemed to have been enjoying the show and tried to act smart, as she usually does. I disliked her since the beginning of high school and I finally got to tell her that plus also telling her to off.

Sounds like a cliche high school plot? Of course, yes.

But whatever Saeyeon told me that day did make me think afterwards. I realized she was right. I wanted to blame everyone when the fact was no one was to be blamed. Not even me.

I didn't want to keep my hopes high. I sent the letter for sure but there wasn't any possibility that they would actually see it and reply back. Though mom and dad assured me that Happy Children Orphanage always replies back, I still didn't want to believe. They receive dozens of emails everyday. I'm just a mere one among one thousand request mails

"Did you send the mail?" Mom asked me as I entered the kitchen to grab a glass of juice. I hummed in response and sat down on the chair opposite to hers.

There was silence between us. Not the awkward one but a rather comfortable silence. Mom was working on some paper works for a new documentary film and I quietly drank the juice. After fifteen minutes mom looked up from her work and called me.

"Yeah?"

"Don't you think you should at least go see Hyemi and apologise?"

"Never," I replied coldly and got up from my seat to leave but mom stopped me mid-way.

"Look, I understand what she did was wrong but people make mistakes and grow from it."

I sighed. We already had the same conversation twice. If you don't know what is happening, then let me explain: I previously mentioned that I told Hyemi in front of the whole class that I disliked her and also told her to off, right? So, she got a revenge on me. I don't know how but she somehow got to know that I'm adopted and told everyone in school. That was the thing I feared. She even made up some rumours about me and well, the situation became pretty bad. Due to this, I suffered from depression for two months and stopped going to school. It's just recently that I started. Anyways, so I kinda hit her and she was unconscious for fourteen hours. End of story.

"How would you feel if someone made up about you and told everyone?"

"I know you weren't upset about that," Mom said, "you were upset about the fact that she told everyone you were adopted."

I kept quiet and stared down at my drink. She was righ but not completely right. The reason I lost my temper and hit her because she was talking crap about both my parents and biological parents. If it was just about me, I would have ignored her. However, I'm not telling mom that.

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep. I've got school tomorrow."

"Mirae-"

I ignored her and went upstairs to my room and closed the door.

This isn't the time to think about some random girl but about my real identity.

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Wow, this chapter is alot smaller than what I expected. And sorry for the late update. I started A level and there's alot of works in my hand, including homework, group assignments and presentations. It's frustrating. However I just uploaded chap 3. Please read and don't forget to leave behind comments!! Thanks!

Nora.