A/N: Hi!! Finally posting this~ it's not too long, but I hope you enjoy! It could've probably been separated into chapters, but they would've been extremely short. So, they're in mini-chapters within one chapter. (I gave them names, too) Thank you for reading~

---

·C· O· L· O· R· S·

Jungkook's POV

I sat in the stiff hospital bed, gazing out the window and making observations. My mind wandered endlessly, as it was all I could do to keep myself from going insane.

The sky was dark and mysterious.

Currently, it was the same color that a combination of my two favorite crayons would create: midnight blue and purple mountain's majesty.

Seokjin had brought me those two crayons.

Actually, Seokjin was the one who had brought me my whole collection.

"Every month, I'll bring you a crayon. My goal is to get enough money by the time we've gotten through all 120 colors. Ten years, Kookie. Ten."

At least, that was what he said. Perhaps, what he was really trying to say was that the crayons marked off the number of months closer to death I was. That's what I thought, at least.

Regardless of the meaning, I put the crayons to good use. Each day, I wrote journal entries to pass time. I used the crayons that Seokjin brought me to write them. Once, Seokjin had mentioned in passing that he wanted me to use them to draw, so I may not have been following his exact wishes.

That wouldn't have worked too well, though. Here's the truth.

Crayons totally as art tools.

If Van Gogh had used crayons to color his artwork, he would've never become famous. Speaking of him, I love his paintings. Starry Night is a beautiful painting. There's so much emotion hidden in the brushstrokes.

I wish I could paint like that. Sadly, I'm not allowed to work with paint. Something about fumes that could interrupt my body's "healing processes."

Anyways.

The painting's name reminded me to check for the next thing in the sky: stars.

Though they were small and hard to see, the stars filled the sky. It looked like someone had taken a white gel pen and placed dots throughout the midnight blue purple mountain's majesty sky.

Through the cloudy window, it was difficult to point out the constellations. Still, the stars were bright.

I sighed, turning my head to the rest of the room. Since I was a long-term patient at this hospital, I never had to change rooms.

So, it was always the same. Always white, clean, and sterile.

Seokjin had gotten me little pink cabinet compartments, which were currently lined up against the wall, on the floor. They kept all of my art materials and school supplies neat.

Why do I even need that school stuff? It's stupid.

Either way, I loved art. Even if I disappeared, the art would always be there.

Of course, this was granted that Seokjin didn't burn it, or anything like that. Normally, he was a cool and collected person, but he could be scary when he snapped.

Like when mom and dad left. 

They left because of me, because they didn't want to take care of me.

It was understandable why he was mad, but I didn't understand why he needed to burn every photo of them. 

If I left, would Seokjin burn all the memories of me?

The burning photos produced magnificent colors, shades of sunset orange, bittersweet, mango tango, and sunglow, to name a few. In the end, they all darkened to a solid black.

These crayon names reminded me of the other things I loved: balloons.

They were colorful, symbolizing joy and happiness. 

On my birthdays, Seokjin always got me a balloon, the color of my favorite crayon that year.

Birthdays. Symbols of a person being one year closer to the end of their life.

Which, for me, is going to be quite short.

Neither Seokjin nor I mentioned that, though.

Before I died, I wanted to do one thing. I wanted to release hundreds of balloons into the sky. It was impractical, and probably considered to be littering, but it would make the sky less scary to go up to. The sky would become colorful and beautiful.

Not that it wasn't already.

I sighed, checking the time.

12:03.

I should probably get some sleep.

From my bedside table, I grabbed my crayon and journal. The journal was not yet worn out, and its hardbound cover protected the colorful pages inside well.

Then, I examined the crayon as a part of my daily routine. It still looked fairly new, though the tip was beginning to dull. Cornflower was truly a beautiful color. It was soft and lovely, like the sky on a lightly cloudy day.

I finally opened the journal, flipping to the next new page. It made a loud sound that crisp paper normally did. 

Month: Cornflower (D9)

Today, I thought. Have I really lived a good, fufilling life? Ever since I was 8, I was locked in this tiny room because I could die at any given moment. I'm attached to a stupid machine that has to breathe for me. I'm a burden to Seokjin, aren't I? He doesn't say it, but I wonder if he'd like it better if I died.

He comes to visit almost everyday. At least, he used to.

I wish I could tell Seokjin that I really love and appreciate him. As many times as I can. At least... as long as I can. I'm running out of time, I think. The respirator can keep breathing for me forever, but I'm sure that something else will break inside of me. Anyways, hyung, if you're ever reading this, I want you to know...

THANK YOU, SEOKJIN-HYUNG. I LOVE YOU. 

I shut the journal and placed it back on the table, tears beginning to form in my eyes. Tears were like crystals. They didn't have any color, but they were still beautiful. They silently streamed down my face as I turned off the light, leaving warm trails on my face.

The eyes were the window to the soul, and tears are the key.

---

·C· R· A· Y· O· N· S·

Flashback: Jungkook's POV

"Hi, Kookie! Happy birthday!" Seokjin walked into the room, pushing up his glasses. He was currently a thirteen year-old junior in highschool.

"Seokjin-hyung!" My face lit up like a bright candle.

"I have a present for you~!"

"Whaa?"

Grinning sheepishly, Seokjin admitted, "I took it from the orphanage storage. Still, I hope you like it!"

"Really? What is it, hyung?"

Seokjin grinned, whipping a soft purple crayon out of his pocket. It was slighlty melted. "Aha! It's a crayon. Erm, it's called purple mountains' majesty. And, uhm..." He shrugged his backpack off of his shoulder, pulling out something round and papery. It was a similar color to the crayon.

"Wahh, so pretty! What's the round thing?"

"It's a... balloon! For your birthday, you know? Since you're nine now. I made it out of paper, though."

"It's amazing! You're the best, hyung!" I smiled, holding up my thumb cheerfully. Seokjin gave me the balloon and crayon, his eyes sparkling.

"Thanks, Kookie."

---

· D· A· Y· S·

Jungkook's POV

A few months had passed, with little change.

I tried to do well in my studies, to make Seokjin happy. It seemed to make him happy when I got a "B" on anything I turned into my online school. 

Mostly, I got C's. At least they weren't F's, anymore. It's not like I didn't have the time to study before, I just didn't want to. There wasn't a particular reason, either.

It was kind of like my dislike for the color, fuzzy wuzzy brown. It wasn't necessarily a bad color, I just didn't like it. 

Really, I wanted to make him proud. I wanted to lessen the burden I had on him, possibly bring a smile to his face. A genuine smile.

Anyways.

I heard a knock at the door, then looked through the window. 

"Seokjin-hyung!"

---

·M· I· S· T·A· K· E·

Flashback: Seokjin's POV

"Your son's lungs failed, and lung transplants are extremely scarce at the moment. He will have to stay in the hospital, breathing through this ventilator. I'm sorry, ma'am." The doctor walked out the door, his steps heavy.

Our mother stared at the doctor in shock, then at the young boy, Jungkookie, laying in the hospital bed, currently unconscious. "No..." She turned to our father, her eyes wide with distress. Sighing, their father returned the look.

"The hospital fees... they're enormous." His lips pursed, he threw up his arms. "This child isn't even my problem. He's an illegitimate child created by your mistakes. It's your problem now, not mine." With that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door. I sat beside Jungkook, flinching at the sound.

"Mom... what are you going to do? Dad's being stupid." I looked at my mother with worry, still the locks of hair that gently rested on Jungkook's pale forehead.

"I don't think... we can take care of him." She looked at me with a serious expression, shaking her head. "You'll understand one day, but he's just a mistake. I don't know why I didn't do this earlier, but I'm going to have to give him up to the orphanage, or something."

"W-what? Give him up? You can't just give up on Kookie!"

"Yeah, I can. I'll sign all the legal forms, and he'll be out of our hands."

"But... he's sick. He needs family to be with him." With my doe-like eyes, I looked up at my mother. Tears laid at their corners, threatening to spill.

"It's not like he's going to live, anyways-"

I stood up, stomping my foot on the floor. "Mom, what? No! He will live, what are you saying? How could you say that about your own son?" The water in my eyes began to trickle down his cheeks, splashing on the floor like raindrops.

With a flat voice, my mother replied, "He's not my son. As your father said, he's simply a mistake."

Clenching my fists, I raised my voice. "A mistake? That's stupid. Whatever 'mistake' you made, he's here now, and he's living! He needs us. He needs you!" 

"Well, I don't care what he 'needs.'"

"If you're going to 'get rid' of him, I guess you'll have to do the same to me. If Jungkook is a mistake, so am I."

Thinking about what I had said, my mother widened her eyes. She lowered her voice, twisting it into a honey-sweet tone. "No, Seokjin, honey. I didn't mean that-"

Scoffing, I interrupted, "Then answer this. Will you keep Jungkook? Support him? Care for him?"

"It's just, all of that is complicated..."

I felt bile coming up my throat at her reply. "So, you're still going to abandon him?"

"Well..."

"Are you?" I inquired with a demanding tone.

"You could put it that way, but I jus-"

"No. Shut up. Shut. Up."

"Don't speak to your mother that way," she scolded.

I snorted. "You're not my mother. You abandoned me when you said that you were planning to abandon Jungkook."

Her eyes hardening, she crossed her arms in a decisive manner.

"Fine, then. I don't need a son like you. I'm giving you up to the orphanage. Don't expect my sympathy in any way regarding either of you."

Wiping away my tears with the sleeve of my shirt, I hissed, "I wasn't planning to ask for it." I looked down at Jungkook and widened my eyes, seeing tears slipping out of the boy's closed eyes. Had he heard everything?

The door slammed.

---

· P· R· O· M· I· S· E· S·

Seokjin's POV

I drove to the hospital, talking deep breaths. The air outside was warm, and I had my car window rolled down. Beads of sweat rested on my forehead.

Truthfully, it was hard to go see my younger brother. I loved watching him, watching as his face lit up when he saw me. I loved talking to him, letting him show me his artwork, his grades, everything. 

Still, it was hard to see his frail state, knowing that I was only wasting time for feelings. It was hard to know that I wasn't actually helping him by being there.

I'm almost there. I'm so close to creating something to elongate his life. Better, more stable artificial lungs.

I pulled into the hospital parking lot, carefully driving my car into an empty spot.

Then, I pasted a smile on my face.

'It will be okay, everything will be fine.'

That's what I'd been telling myself since I was 13, as I sped through highschool, college.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't able to do that, that I wasn't smart enough. I wouldn't have this responsibility. I would've been able to do something I actually enjoyed. I wish I could've joined my freinds in what they wanted to do, but I couldn't. Not yet.

Shaking the thoughts away from my head, I opened the door of my car, stepping out, then locking it.

My feelings get to stay locked in the car. Good, good.

I walked towards the hospital, through the glass doors that I knew all too well.

Bright Future Hospital. 

It was the only hospital that tried to give Jungkook hope, the only one that didn't push him away.

The only one who didn't care about 'preserving their clean record,' I thought bitterly.

Walking through the doors to the hospital, I smiled again, waving at the nurse who stood in the front. The nurse who was here normally took care of Jungkook, but had offered to take over for the secretary while she was on vacation. She waved back then asked, "Hi, Seokjin. Nice to see you again. Are you here to see the patient in room 401, Jeon Jungkook?"

"Yup!"

"Did you bring the crayon today?"

"Yeah. Do you think he'll like the color," I paused, frowning, "Neon carrot?"

She chuckled, "I'm sure he'd be happy with any color you had to give him. You're such a diligent brother, do you even ask for anything back?"

"I just... ask for him to get better. That's all."

Her smile faltered slightly, and she nodded. "That's a kind wish. Seokjin, have the doctors told you about Jungkook's condition?"

This is my first time visiting this week, so probably not.

"No, they haven't. Has it improved?" Though I didn't expect good news, I hoped. 

"I'm sorry, but... it's slowly been deteriorating. We expected it to happen, as the body isn't meant to be run by machines."

I in a breath, nodding slowly.

This visit has to be short. I have to hurry and find a cure, a better substitute. I'm close, too. Jungkookie can just get a lung transplant later, but he has to hold on.

"Okay. I'll do my best, then. I'm going, thank you for telling me."

Quickly, I walked up the stairs to the fourth floor, to Jungkook. I knocked on the door, then heard his voice. It was clear and soft, but a bit breathy. Was he having a hard time breathing?

"Seokjin-hyung!"

I opened the door, almost running inside. A bright smile was plastered on my face, despite the fact that I could slowly feel my heart breaking into pieces.

"Hey, Kookie. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yup!"

I nodded, not wanting to press the matter. "Anyways, I have to get back to work soon, sorry!"

"Aw... but I was really looking forward to spending time with you."

"Sorry, Kookie." I felt bad for cutting it short, but it wouldn't matter if I could get him to have a future.

"It's okay..." he looked up at me, staring into my eyes. It felt like he was trying to read me, so I looked away.

"Oh, by the way. I have your crayon." I took the thin piece of vibrantly-colored wax from my pocket, presenting it to Jungkook.

"It's a nice color. Looks like a fresh hobak."

 (Korean pumpkin, basically... I felt like that color matched the crayon better than a regular pumpkin.. lol)

"Yeah? Well, wait until you hear the name. Neon carrot," I informed him, giggling halfheartedly.

He squinted at me, making me shift uncomfortably, then grinned. "Hah, neon carrot. Nice."

"I have to go now. I'll try to come back next week."

His eyes widened. "Next week...? I can't see you for a week? Again? Can I call you?"

"I don't know... I'm going to be really busy."

"Aw... okay, hyung. Oh, wait!"

"Hm?" I walked over to him, a faint smile on my face.

"I got a 92/100 on the last math quiz I submitted," he told me proudly. His breathing was somewhat unsteady. Noticably unsteady.

I have to hurry.

"Really? I'm so proud of you."

"You don't sound too convinced, but still, yay! And... Seokjin, can I ask you a question before you go?"

I nodded, sitting on the bed beside him. Smiling, I fondly patted his head.

"What is your dream?"

"Hmm? To find a cure for you, of course!"

His face turned serious, and he looked me in the eye. "But... besides that. I doubt that's your actual dream."

"I don't know."

Do I? I always wanted to continue music with my old friends, but that fell through after highschool. I had to work, keep working.

He pursed his lips, then tilted his head. "Music? You used to do that, I remember. I still have some of your songs... but then you got busy." His voice sounded scratchy.

"Well..."

"And I'm holding you back from that, aren't I?"

"No, you're not!" I protested, knowing all too well that he was right, to some extent.

"I know when you're lying, hyung. And you're lying right now." He swallowed, looking at me with sad eyes.

"Really, you're not."

He looked away, an unconvinced look in his eyes.

"Seokjin-hyung, can I ask you something else?" He finally said, his eyes seeming to sparkle with the light of tears.

"Sure."

"Can you... promise me something?"

I noded tenatively, my face filling with a worried expression.

"When I get better, or if I go... can you fufill your dream? Like, your real dream. And sometime, can we release balloons in the sky? Together? All different colors?" 

Something was off. Why was he saying things like this?

"Well, I suppose..."

His voice raised to a pleading tone. "Promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Kookie, trust me. I'm really sorry, I have to go." I gave him the crayon that was in my hand without looking at him, then stood up.

"Bye, hyung..." he mumbled, looking away.

"Bye, Kookie." My heart throbbing, I took long strides towards the door.

I hate leaving like this, but I have to save him.

As I left the hospital, I fumbled around my pockets for my car key, then pulled it out. The palm of my hand was stained with a bright orange color, the same one as the crayon. I must've been crushing it during the conversation.

I hope he doesn't mind.

---

· V· O· I· C· E· S·

Flashback: Their POV

"Wah, Seokjin-hyung, is this your little bro?"

"He's only two years younger than you, so he's not really little! But yeah!"

"Hey, are we going to sing for him, or what?"

"Yeah, we should!"

"What song, though? I want to make Kookie proud."

"Definitely one we wrote, right?"

"What about one that Yoongi-hyung wrote?"

"Wait! What about the one we sang to Jungkook's lyrics? Which were amazing, by the way!"

"Ah, no, that was just some trash I wrote..."

"Pfft, what trash? The only trash is the stuff I write, heh."

"What?? Hyung showed me some of your lyrics, and they're amazing!"

"Oh, hah, thanks. But I really love your lyrics, too."

We all sang together.

Really, it was beautiful and heartwarming.

---

· V· I· N· E· S·

Jungkook's POV

I stared at the broken crayon lying on the table, feeling a buildup of warmth behind my eyes. The brightly-pigmented crayon was snapped in half, with pieces of crayon wax surrounding it.

My crayons have never broken like this before.

Crayons were, sadly, the foundation of our brotherly relationship. Still, believing that this was any sort of symbol would be overly superstitious.

I stood up, picking up one of the halves, then my journal. A true genious, such as Da Vinci wouldn't have stopped with something like a broken crayon.

Not that he'd be using a crayon to begin with.

At that moment, I felt my chest tighten. It felt as though there were vines inside of my chest, twisting, squeezing. Then, they crawled up my throat, blocking it.

Somewhere in the background, a relentless noise was beeping frantically.

The heart moniter.

I probably dropped everything that I had been holding. The crayon must've broken further. I stumbled, falling to the floor with a thud.

The beeping became more rapid, digging its sound into my sensitive ears.

The machine was supposed to be helping, why wasn't it doing its job now?

Opening my mouth and trying to breathe again, I brought my hands to my chest, shaking. Tears sprung to my eyes as the 'vines' inside of me continued to spread. Everything felt tight, and my lungs were deprived of oxygen.

It's too early... it's too early...

'Help,' I mouthed, knowing all too well that nobody was coming. My breaths were staggered and short as I tried to reach out my hand, searching for the fallen crayon.

Please, I need to find it...

My hand rested over an object, and I pulled it closer to myself. I continued to shake, but my hand was closed tightly around that half.

I want to see Seokjin. I hope he keeps his promise...

Out of the corner of my eye, outside the window, I thought I saw a balloon flying up. 

I could only describe it as being 'neon carrot' in color.

Like the crayon. Hyung... I never got to send balloons to the sky with hyung. I want... 

A tear rolled down my cheek onto the cold floor, as I closed my eyes. 

No, it's too late.

All the 'vines' were gone, and I could barely feel anything.  I was hanging onto my life by a thread, and that thread was being cut now.

I'm sorry, Seokjin-hyung. I'm sorry for leaving you.

---

· B· A· L· L· O· O· N· S·

Flashback: Jungkook's POV

"Jungkookie~!"

"Eh, Seokjin?" I had a confused look on his face as I looked up at the sky to where my older brother was pointing.

"Look, a balloon!"

"Wah... that's sad! It's all alone!"

"Well, now the people in the sky have a balloon, too!"

"People in the sky?"

"After they leave us, they go to the sky! Then, we'll meet them someday! I hope that balloon makes it there."

"I hope so, too! Then, they'll be happy!"

---

· E· M· P· T· Y·

Seokjin's POV

People say that when a person you care about dies, it's like the world crashes down on you.

I felt that.

The cold, empty feeling of loneliness.

I finished creating it that day.

My phone was turned off, so I didn't get the call right away.

The call that said something had failed.

That their machines were incompetant.

That they were sorry.

I was working hard.

I wanted Jungkook to stay, with me.

But I was too late.

The mechanism could be used for the next person who couldn't get a transplant, sure. It could save another life.

Still, that didn't matter much to me.

Because it couldn't save Jungkook.

By the time I found out what had happened, he was gone.

No more hospital visits.

No more crayons.

No more smiles.

No more Jungkook.

Jungkook was my everything, and he was no longer here.

Now, I had nothing.

The worst part? I hadn't been able to fufill his wish.

I never got to send the balloons to the sky with him.

He went up there before we could.

---

· S· T· I· L· L·

Seokjin's POV

When the day of the funeral came, I promised to pull myself together.

For Jungkook, who was no longer here.

I had cut off contact with everyone I knew to figure out that stupid mechanism, so it was just me.

In movies, funerals usually take place in rainy, gloomy weather.

Sad, dark.

Today, though, it was bright.

The sun was shining, the sky was blue.

It reminded me of him.

I carried 100 balloons with me, along with the urn to the hill by the coast.

First, I spread the ashes. They slipped through my fingers, flying through the wind.

Free.

The thing he was never able to be.

Then, I released the balloons. The colors filled the sky with their brightness, in all different hues. I hoped that he would be able to see them up where he was in the sky. Even if we weren't together.

If Jungkook was here, he'd be able to match them all to the crayons I gave him.

I decided to keep the crayons, for memories.

Finally, I kept my promise to him. I pulled out my phone, searching my contacts for any of my old friends.

I found one. Kim Namjoon.

I tapped on his number, praying that the call would go through.

'Hello?'

"Hi. Is this Kim Namjoon?"

'Yes... Seokjin?'

"Namjoon-ah... I haven't contacted you in awhile, but... are you guys still doing music?"

'Yes, we are.'

"May I join you?"

'Of course! We've missed you, Seokjin.' 

I heard a chorus of collective voices behind the line, and smiled for the first time since Jungkook had left.

Shifting my gaze towards the sky, I smiled again. Everything was so bright. The balloons were beautiful.

Though it was probably just my imagination, I could've sworn that I heard a soft voice in the wind. The voice I longed to hear.

Thank you, Seokjin-hyung.

"Thank you, Kookie," I whispered back.

---

A/N: I tried to make this longer than my other oneshots!! (4000 words... other people write a lot more, but it's a step up from 500 ^^;;) It's finally posted~ Some of those scenes were quite difficult to write TT_TT (Either because I ended up crying while writing them, or just because it was difficult. Haha.)

If you're here, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS! I really appreciate it so, so much! <33

Special mentions to the two who subscribed before reading this, @igolden and @cyjames. <33

**The crayon thing was extremely random. I just figured it would be a small thing I could use as a sort of character detail? ^^

I really, truly hope you enjoyed this. I'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment with any feedback/opinions/anything, basically! <3

Side Note: I'm so glad it was ready to post today, because BTS just won AotY at MAMA. I feel so proud of them T^T. Congrats to all the artists that won awards~~ ^^