“On these magic shores children at play are for ever beaching their coracles. We too have been there; we can still hear the sound of the surf, though we shall land no more.”

― J.M. Barrie

~

As time passed, the tensions tripled, the paranoia set in, the food became almost nonexistent. The small shreds of food that they were delivered was barely enough for a street rat, yet it was all they could afford. The small place that housed the eight orphan children stayed still as water while all around them, the rich evacuated. Still, even as the world fell they continued to travel to visit the elderly every day. As the year passed the old grandmothers and grandfathers grew increasingly weaker. The biting cold froze some of them in their sleep. Mrs. Kim ordered that they stay inside for the remainder of the winter season. Seungkwan didn’t understand; the winter season had just begun.

The most fearsome thing, for Seungkwan at least, was the sickness that plagued the youngest of the house. He’d been coughing for weeks, becoming increasingly lethargic, vomiting, running fevers. Mrs. Kim did all that she could, but there was only so many options presented before them. They couldn’t afford treatment, or medicine. So the little one grew more and more restless as the days passed. They weren’t even allowed to see him anymore. Miss Kim was too afraid he would pass on his sickness.

To Seungkwan, that was the most awful thing. He didn’t care if he was malnourished. All he cared about was the well-being of his brothers. Maybe that was when he grew bitter. Towards the war and the rich. Even towards the snow he grew bitter.

It was at night that Seungkwan grew to love the quiet stillness of his room. He and Hansol shared a bed together like most of the other boys who paired up to stay warm. It was too bad that Haeil, one of the older brothers, had to sleep alone since his partner was sick.

Before they slept, the two of them would ask each other questions about their future together. Where they would go, what they would do. Who they would meet and how they would see the world as they grew up.

“Hm, I think I wanna own a dog when I get older.”

“Oh yeah?” Seungkwan snorted. “Plenty on the streets, all you gotta do it pick one.”

Hansol rolled his eyes, then a solemn look appeared on his face. “How many you think freeze out there?”

Seungkwan shrugged and pulled his pillow closer to Hansol’s until the shadowy smoke of their breath danced together. It was so cold in the room, he could barely stand it. “Too many to count, I guess.”

Hansol immediately reached out to hug Seungkwan, “I hope we don’t die and come back as dogs.”

He hugged him back, “Why?”

“Well, nobody would be very nice to us.”

He stifled a laugh with the back of his hand, “Nobody is nice to us now!”

“Still, I want to be able to talk to you. Like we are now! Oh, and dog’s don’t celebrate birthdays! It’s gonna be your birthday soon.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re going to get me something expensive right? Gold, maybe?” He jested and poked Hansol in the chest. He tickled him in return until their laughing woke up Minhyuk who was doing his best to sleep in the cold room.

“Guys, stop laughing!” He scolded. Seungkwan muffled his laughing again with his hands.

When they settled down, the two of them began to flutter their eyes, falling asleep almost in slow motion. “You know,” Seungkwan whispered with his eyes closed. “I don’t care if I have nothing on my birthday this year. As long as I still have you.”

Hansol smiled.

Although his eyes were closed, he was doing his best to figure out a plan to get his hands on Seungkwan’s favorite food.

Within a few minutes, they fell into a deep sleep.

~

On the morning of Seungkwan’s birthday, Hansol told Mrs. Kim he was going out to get a gift for the boy’s birthday. Although suspicious, she allowed him to leave after an hour of convincing and him promising he would borrow extra clothing to wear to bear the winter cold.

He hitched a ride about a mile away from the orphanage and rode on the back of a wagon into a small town made up of lodges and food and health dispensaries that were only used for traveling soldiers.

Within twenty minutes of finding his way around, he’d found his target. Two men in uniform were stopped at a small, run-down bakery with a woman in an apron that was doing her best to get them to buy the food displayed. Just looking at the selection made Hansol’s stomach growl painfully. He resisted the urge to get greedy and reminded himself who he was doing this for.

He eyes the dozens of cream buns that were nestled comfortably amongst the bread and other treats.

The two men discussed what they wanted. The one with brown hair chose the wrong treat and Hansol sighed heavily. Well, he didn’t expect anyone to order exactly what he wanted on the first try but he didn’t want to raise Miss Kim’s suspicion by staying out all day. Right as Hansol was about to give up on them, the scrawny one with blonde hair pointed out the cream bun and his heart soared with joy.

He dropped himself to the floor and took as much mud and dirt as he could in his hands and smeared it all over his face and body. Ruffling his hair, he immediately stood up from his hiding place and approached the men who paid and were now talking quietly to themselves with their food in their hands.

Hansol widened his eyes and put his hands behind his back. With just a few long strides he was now a foot away from them. The first one to notice him had been the tall, masculine one with brown hair.

“Hello,” he smiled warmly.

Hansol made a point of staring at the food in their hands with a starved look on his face. It hadn’t been that hard, since he truly was very hungry.

“Do you need help?” He asked, but at that question Hansol merely shook his head.

“Are you hungry?”

He nodded.

“The whole damn country is hungry, William.” It was the scrawny man who spoke. He watched Hansol with a weary expression on his face. Like he really was just a street dog. A thought passed through his mind. That maybe humans like him really weren’t all that different from animals in this world. If he did happen to come back as a dog, he wondered if it’d be any different.

Hansol did his best not to become upset, he just continued to stare.

“Here, son.” The tall, kinder man named William offered up his food. Yet, that wasn’t what he had expected to happen. He wanted the other man’s treat. His stomach lurched. He desperately wanted to take the food but he couldn’t, that’s not what was supposed to happen.

Hansol bit his lip and looked from man to man, from treat to treat. Within an instant he evaded William’s hand and hit foot shot out, kicking the scrawny one in the knee. The treat fell out of his hand in surprise. Hansol dove for it and caught it before it hit the ground. It was too bad the one he had targeted was much more agile than he originally thought. He was up in a flash and had grabbed onto Hansol’s fleeing self. He struggled to get away without harming the food cradled in his hands.

Surprisingly, William didn’t seem mad at the surprising twist. He just watched on as his friend apprehended him.

“Who does this boy belong to!?” The one who had grabbed Hansol’s coat yelled and jerked him back. Hansol struggled, but he somehow managed to hold onto Seungkwan’s favorite cream-filled bun. It was his thirteenth birthday and all he wanted to do was snag a treat for him. Something he would’ve never imagined he’d eat again. Not after being reduced to a malnourished picture of his former self. All skin and bones and dark circles. “He’s a thief! He must be punished.”

“I’d like to see you try!”

“That’s enough, Charles.” William finally stepped forward. All Hansol could see from his angle was his clean boots. “Who do you belong to son?”

Hansol kept quiet. Well, he belonged to only one person but he doubted saying it out loud would be very smart. Then he really would be beaten.

“Can you speak, child?” Just then, the man named Charles gave him a jolt and the grip on the cream-filled bun slipped from his hands and splattered on the ground. He gave a shriek and tried to pick it up but the dirt from the ground had infested every part of it. He would still eat it, granted. But now it wouldn’t be perfect. He picked up the bun and dusted it off.

“Now, here.” The kind man approached him and kneeled on one knee in front of him. “That’s not very-”

“Don’t touch me!” Hansol cowered away.

“I don’t want to hurt you. If you’d just tell me where you’re from I can buy you all the cream buns you want.”

Hansol gripped the food tighter in his hand at the offer. He was already salivating at the idea of endless cream buns and warm tasting, fresh bread and cream. Hansol unknowingly squished the food in his hand and it spilled out over his fingers. The man looked down at the mess and reached into his pocket to pull out a piece of woven cloth. Handing his own food to Charles, he took to wiping the shocked boy’s hand off. He then disposed of the treat, throwing it far away. Hansol could’ve sworn he seen a small child pick it up and run off with it.

“Why would you do that?” Hasol asked, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pointed downward in an unhappy frown.

“Well, I have the resources that you don’t.”

“The what?”

“The resources.”

“What’s that mean?”

The man in the uniform just smiled gently and held out his hand. “My name is William. I’m not from around here. Are you?”

“I’m not from anywhere but here.”

“Hm, well you speak my language quite well.”

Hansol shrugged.

The man hummed and studied him for a second and then seemed satisfied with whatever he was looking for. “What’s your name?”

“Hansol.”

“What do you say we get those cream buns. Then you can show me where you live. Deal?”

Hansol looked at his stained hands, he thought of Seungkwan, then he nodded his head and shook the man’s hand with his clean one. “Deal.”

He ran off happily in front of William, off his fingers and thanking his lucky stars that he didn’t get into any trouble.

Traveling from the bakery, with an armful of cream buns, Hansol never felt happier and he knew when they celebrated Seungkwan’s birthday with the rest of the kids it would be the best one yet. He dutifully led William to their orphanage after hopping into the man’s carriage. The other man, named Charles, had followed without a word. Hansol liked it better when the scrawny man wasn’t saying anything anyway.

They came upon the house after a little while. From far away it looked much bigger, but when they were right in front of the home it had drastically shrunk. Hansol didn’t mind, their small house was enough to give a home to the eight kids that lived there: Seungkwan, Jihoon, Soonyoung, Chan, Minhyuk, Sanha, Haeil, and himself.

William paused for a moment to read the sign before the crumbled walk way. It simply read:

Boy’s Home for the Orphaned

He paused briefly. His heart ached for the children who lived here, surrounded by empty homes that once housed families. He bowed his head for a moment before heading up the small stairs to the porch and then to the front door where Hansol walked right in, announcing his arrival.

“Seungkwan! I’ve got you a present!”

William took in the drab interior. From the boarded up windows, to the thin scraps of material stuffed into the cracks of doors to keep the cold out. He took off his hat and tucked it underneath his arm. Three kids came running, including Seungkwan who first hugged Hansol before seeing what was in his arms.

“You got me something, really!? I thought you were just joking around!”

The first thing that William noticed was the sheer thinness of all the kids. He couldn’t tell it about Hansol because the boy was covered in layers of sweaters and a jacket. But here, in front of him were three kids who looked absolutely starved.

So this was where it was hitting. The war left no human spared. Even the most innocent ones were affected.

A gasp from the boy named Seungkwan surprised William back to reality. They barely noticed him standing there, far too enamored by the treats in Hansol’s arms. The other two boys grabbed a bundle and took off running. Hansol yelled after them angrily.

After a fleeting moment, Seungkwan smiled and hugged Hansol close, immediately silencing his yelling. “You’ve got dirt all over you.” He laughed as he noticed the smudges all over his face and hair.

“Oh, I forgot to mention!” Hansol said, changing the subject quickly. “We have a visitor. I met him in west town. He’s the one who paid for all of this.”

Seungkwan shook off his momentary shock and seemed to finally notice the looming figure in the hallway. His eyes widened and he took a step back. “Hello…” he greeted softly. He looked to Hansol and seemed to be communicating something to him silently. “I’ll go get Miss Kim.”

That left Hansol to be standing there awkwardly with William. He had observed their affection and thought nothing of it really. “Are you two close?” He asked softly and moved to stand next to Hansol.

The boy fought back a blush.

“What’s his name? Soongwun?”

Hansol snorted at the man’s bad pronunciation but he corrected him nonetheless. “His name is Seungkwan, and it’s his birthday today. He’s my...closest and most trusted friend.”

“I see. He seems to really adore you.”

Hansol smiled, and looked away so the man wouldn’t be able to see the sickening love pour from his eyes.

“Ah! Hello sir!”

Miss Kim’s voice rang through the hallway. She held a small child--it was her sister’s--balanced on her hip as she clopped down the hallway in her short black heels. Her shawl covered most of her outfit, but it wasn’t anything spectacular to look at anyway.

William bowed his head at her in respect, “Hello madame.”

Once Miss Kim neared closer her eyes observed the insignia’s on his uniform jacket, “My goodness!” She put her hand over . “It’s an honor, sir. What is it that brings you here today?”

“I’m only here to drop off one of your kids. He helped me out today in town and so I repaid him with these treats.”

“Oh!” She finally noticed the bundles in Hansol’s arms. She smiled warmly at him. “I see, well thank you so much. It’s very much appreciated. I hope this hadn’t inconvenienced you in any way, I’m terribly sorry if it has. ”

“It was no inconvenience to me. I’d like to come visit again tomorrow though, if that is okay? I brought my subordinate here with me today. He’s in the carriage and I don’t want him to wait too long.”

Mrs. Kim seemed surprised but she nodded enthusiastically and ushered him into another annex near the front of the house. She shooed Hansol and Seungkwan off and the other kids pulled them down the hall to go celebrate properly.

As the adults closed the door behind them, Seungkwan and Hansol cast a glance behind where the powerful looking man in the uniform once stood.

“Hurry up, guys!” Chan called with a wave, both him and Soonyoung dove into the back room where the tables were.

“Did you see that guy!?” Minhyuk peeked from the room and grabbed Seungkwan’s arm, tugging excitedly, “He must be real important! Is this a sign from the heavens?”

“He wouldn’t spare you a second Min, get your head outta the clouds.” Seungkwan shrugged out of his grip and joined the others.

Minhyuk huffed, “Ah so they all say!”

“Geez, can you guys get any slower?” Jihoon was already tearing apart one of the treats as he spoke through a mouthful of bread.

“Calm down, we have enough to last us all day!” Hansol emptied out the rest of the bundles onto the tables in front of him and their eyes all lit up happily.

“We can have this for dinner!”

“Maybe for a bedtime snack too?!” Minhyuk wondered, grabbing two for himself already, shoving aside his dream of entering the army.

“Wait!” Seungkwan yelled. All of his brothers looked up at him curiously. He grinned so wide that his eyes disappeared. “Sing happy birthday to me first!”

Altogether the boys rushed through the song and patted him on the back for good luck. That was good enough for Seungkwan apparently, because he too dove into the pile of cream buns. Together they ate until their stomachs were full, and even more until their stomachs ached.

“Save some for Sanha. He’ll want some once he gets better.” Soonyoung advised. The rest of the kid’s agreed and put some away for him.

Fifteen minutes later Miss Kim came back to check on the kids and she scolded them all for over-eating when they knew their stomachs couldn’t handle it.

“If you consume such a sweet-tasting treat after none at all, oh just thinking about all the noise you kids will cause tonight gives me a headache.” She rocked the small child in her arms and rubbed her left temple with her hand. “Since it’s Seungkwan’s birthday I won’t scold any of you too badly. Now all you go to the playroom and burn off all that sugar. Go, go! If any of you gets sick on the floor you’ll all have an early night!”

They took off running to the playroom. They had no toys or anything, but they enjoyed playing hand games in the small room to pass the time.

At the end of the day, Seungkwan curled up next to Hansol. He was far too tired to talk with him about anything but he didn’t feel too bad about it, they were still together and smiling.

For some reason, he wanted the day to go on and on. Never to end. That birthday had been the best one he ever had. He had a weird feeling that it would never happen again. With the way things were going, he feared their whole world would collapse by then. He shook his worries away. He didn’t want to have bad thoughts on his birthday.

“Goodnight, Hansol.”

“Night.”

“You know you mean more to me than anything, right?”

Hansol smiled, “More than treats?”

Seungkwan hit him lightly on the arm.

“Ow, I know, I know. It’s the same for me.”

“Thanks for giving me the best birthday ever.”

“Go to sleep,” he whispered quietly.

With the thoughts of his birthday in mind, he drifted off.

If he had known it would be the last one he shared with Hansol, he would have never fallen asleep so quickly.