“Forgive me for I have selfishly decided on this crude ending, but it needed to happen."

Goodbyes were always deemed as destruction towards one’s life, appraising it crudely, viewed into the void of excruciating pain of rejection and humiliation. Ask me why I ended an appealing relationship. One that many were curious of, one that many could never seem to scrutinize just why a guy that could acquire a sudden pause in a person’s natural expression when they looked his way followed by overcompensating with a nonchalant gaze and a weak smile decided to date a girl who believes that loneliness helped to create her own identity and it will continue to strengthen her inner self.  We dated. Lasted longer than the corrupted minds of human beings that thought and chanted  in their minds for us to end it. Even betting on how long would we hold on. 

He was handsome alright. He had that kind of face that stopped you in your tracks. Ofcourse the blush that accompanied it was dead give-away. It didn't help that he was modest with it, it made th girls fall for him all the more. Despite all the opportunity that came his way, he was a one-woman-man who prized genuineness and thoughtful conversation above lipstick and high-heels. He was handsome alright, but inside he was beautiful. At least that's what I thought.

"Hey, you were here for the last ten minutes, staring into..nothing." A friend brusquely interrupted the moment. "Are you okay..?"

"Yes. Yes I am fine. I just.. there's a lot going in my mind. Perhaps you could give me a few minutes, I'll be back for the meeting in no time." 

Recieving a emphatetic nod, I slump against the locker as she left. I might have been way too obvious but I prayed naiviety would drown her of any weird thoughts. I startled upon a pair of eyes staring at me as I turned away from the locker. Strong arched eyebrows and eyelash so thick, it could be illegal. His eyes were deep and catastrophic, a vivid dark brown that slowly melted into all black. Beautiful, I uttered unknowingly. 

Had I indulge myself way to deep when I stared at him before? Had he caught my absurd and utterly embarassing act? 

"I'm sorry?" He questions, now that he was this close, I could see he had distinct cheekbones, his pale skin was the cherry on top that made him look devilishly handsome. Grasping onto my thoughts quickly, I shook my head, remembering I had a question to answer. 

"Nothing. I said nothing." 

Flustered, I tightened my small fingers on the sling of my bag and walked away. 

He was always in a group, I remembered. Sometimes my unhealthy mind believes it's taunting my loneliness. The abrupt first meeting, first conversation we had, had crept into my mind., filling in every capacity of my brain. leaving no space for priorities. He who had successfully corrupted my mind was the same man whom walked around school and along the corridor, obliviously melting my heart with no such contact. However, that same abrupt meeting was a clear open door to the biggest twist. 

"I hope you know that I catch you staring. All the time."  

I lifted my eyes away from my book, startling myself with the sight Sehun staring right back at me. His eyes reminded me of the old barn door, flecks of deep, deep brown married with lighter hues, so much strength remaining despite the years of weathering, so much life. The slight twinkle only flattered me a little bit more. Embarassed, my cheeks coloured as I shut my book close. Biting my lip as I stood, awkwardly intending to walk away from the situation that we both were actuely aware of. 

The sudden drag of his chair recieved a spin of my attention as I came to meet his face again. "Did I perhaps say or did something wrong..?"

Great, my aloofness caused a spurr of misunderstandings. 

Shaking my head repeatedly, I answer. "No that's not that case.."

"Care to explain the sudden rush of wanting to be away from me?" 

Stunned, my mind swirled, my breath shallow. "I- Uhm.. I -"

Raising his thick eyebrow in amusement, I felt the urge to sink into a hole. The embarassment pooling everywhere, drowning me deep. However, the sudden shift of his hand as he wrapped it around my book, snatching it nonchalantly created a whirl of curiousity in my mind. 

"I hope you know that I am highly intrigued by you, my sweet love." 

With a soft smile and gentle caress on the soft skin of my jaw, he stood back and walked away. 

Oh I got my book back. With a simple note, I dropped it into his locker, reminding him of the object I owned, the object that aided me through the dreadful school hours. Lucky enough, my demand wasn't a shout into the void. It appeared a week later on my desk, with a yellow and tattered paper. Texture so crispy I was convinced it was torn off a vintage notebook. As  I opened it, it lays a message - a demand perhaps, for me to accord him another book as an exchange. Baffled, I frowned as I traced upon the thick ink, pondering upon the pretext behind such request. 

I complied.

We met a few days after along the desserted hallway. His eyes held a mischiveous glint, one so profound I found myself stumbling on my own feet. In the grip of silent panic, wild eyes, pupils dilated, heart racing, brain synapses firing like a hyped up internal aurora borealis, my executive functioning right then was only to have my arms wide, awaiting the impact. I held my breath, readily prepared myself for what might be an addition to my embarasssing moments. With a gasp and a cuss, I was pulled back up with an intense force, bumping myself on a sturdy chest instead of the awaited concrete floor. His hands were tight around my waist, tugging it as if I might just somehow slip out of his grip which insane enough could be the case. 

"Careful," He had said. "I don't want you getting hurt." 

I shifted, in attempt to move out of his grip. Only for him to pull me back. "Uhm, thanks...?"

Then he moves closer with those eyes that looked so deeply into my own. My breathing becomes softer, the pensive look he had bear melting into a smile so soft as the morning light. My body squirms just a little as the muscles relax. However, being in such a position wasn't the best idea, given where we were. As if hearing my silent request, he lets me go and I ushered for the zip of my bag pack - swinging the object to the front as I dug out the only reason why meeting him this time was intentional.

"You brought it." He stat