Sehun,

Do you still remember how we met each other and what you said to me on our first meeting?

It was in a dark room in Cool Plaz, you frequent place in Itaewon. That day you came to celebrate your empowerment of taking charge of O Ca$ino from your father. You brought along your buddies, the blonde headed Kim Jun Myeon who preferred to be called Suho, the lanky Huang Zi Tao, and also the small sized, beady eyed, Byun Baek Hyun. Honestly, when the four of you entered the room, I thought I saw four  most prettiest flower boys.

“Are you nervous?” you looked down at me and asked. I shook my head and forced a smile on my face when you settled yourself next to me. Just then, the corner of my eyes caught the smirk on your face and yet I thought you still looked like an angel with it. Looking back, I realized I was too innocent and naïve.

 That night, the four of you sang on top of your voice as if each of you were having a solo concert, drank as if the world was about to end, and played like you were a kid. It was seriously a hilarious sight, wasn’t it?

When Sunmi eonni told me that I was assigned to you the entire night, I was over the moon. Compared to the other three, I thought you were the best as you behaved so well even though you were drunk. So I didn’t mind to volunteer to help and drag you back into your mansion in Gangnam.

Though physically I was exhausted, but the moment my eyes fell onto the angelic, yet killing, scary face, all my giddiness and tiredness vanished into thin air. And soon I found myself attracted to you, in a way I never knew.

I was cleaning you and helping you change into your pajamas when you opened your eyes out of a sudden with your hands forcefully pulling me down on the bed. I was shocked but I couldn’t help it when I was pinned down. I saw lust when your eyes scanned me from the top to my bottom.

Throughout the night I dared not open my eyes nor I opened my mouth and screamed. The moment your hands went into action or the moment your brotherhood slipped into my womanhood, I prayed to god, please help me in enduring it. And surprisingly, God indeed help me through.

You smirked at me again the next day after you found me walking in an awkward way. Yet you asked for me that night. But this time it was different. Your buddies weren’t there. You were alone. And that night was spent talking about me.

“Why were you here? I thought someone with looks and brains shouldn’t be here?”

This time around, I smirked. Looks and brains? I thought you must be seeing me through rose-colored glasses. No one had ever praised me for my looks. Not even my parents were proud of me.

My father left when I was just seven, saying he would love to venture back in Seoul, his hometown. As there was no news about him, my mother gathered the two of us and went to search for him in Seoul. Instead of a family gathering, his wedding news welcomed us at the airport. There he was on the front page, marrying a woman who was 15 years his junior, but came from a prominent family in Korea.

"How could it be possible?" you asked. I said, "why could it be impossible when my mother was uneducated and came from a far away island called Philippine?"

If that was not shocking enough, a woman around the age of my mother, showed up with her two young boys and begged us to help them as my father had dumped them. Though we, my mother and I, was having problem in settling down due to language barrier, my so-called stepmother allowed us to stay with them. Well, she seemed to be from a wealthy family but thanks to my father, she was disowned by her parents.

During the stay, my mother soon found out the reason of my father’s absentee. Slowly my mother’s anxiety disorder worsened and later it was diagnosed as Schizophrenia. She was then sent to Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital. That was a very disheartening sight to leave her behind. My heart was bleeding profusely but I had no choice.

Beauty with a brain, you said? No, I would never agree to that. Yes, I did score well in all my exams but they were actually results of my struggles and efforts. I might be one of the top students there but being a half-Korean had its disadvantage. I would never receive the scholarship available.

With the cost of living kept on raised on daily basis, education fees for my younger stepbrothers added together the medical bills for my mother, both my stepmother and I could hardly make ends meet.

I had never imagined that I would choose this path, but I guess when you were on the edge without a way out, you would just take it with your head held high. And the truth is, Sehun, I’m, till this very second, proud and didn’t regret of the decision I made.

As per your request together with Sunmi eonni’s permission, I got to move in with you. Though I was still feeling awkward with your presence, I tried my best in adapting and assimilating into your life. With the help of Madam Beez, your Housekeeper, I got to know more about you and stayed more comfortably in your mansion.

I knew of you being the only son of your family. You must had shouldered the heavy responsibilities and always strived to meet your father’s expectations. This was the characteristic of yours which I admired the most. The fighting spirit in your soul was amazing yet frightening.

In the beginning of the first few months, you banked-in a large amount of money into my account, telling me to take care of all my overdue bills. You then provided me with supplementary credit cards of yours to spend on shopping trips or anything I would love to buy. Not to mention, a personal driver to drive me around. You managed all of it while you were busy learning the robe in O Ca$ino.

When you came back one day and asked, “Are you ready to see my ‘real’ world?” I nodded without any hesitant. Of course I would love to.

It was only until we had entered the underground bar then I realized what was meant by your ‘real’ world. There, I met your buddies again. But this time they were no longer friendly. All of them had their strict and stern face intact.

Behind one closed door was a group of under-aged youngsters which I guessed should be around 14-15 years old or 19 the most being high on drugs! Their unconscious behaviors; the effect of drugs had gotten into action was so shocking and saddening.

Behind another closed door was a girl being bound to a bed, there was not a thread on her body, she was to be precise. Surrounding her around the bed was a group of men, both young and old, all hungry to prey on her. The moment she screamed in pain, I turned around. I was too scared to watch. My knees went weak and I