“Hi Love. Happy 7^th anniversary. I baked a cake today. Hahaha…. It was really hard. I looked it up on the internet. They said 5 easy steps to bake a cake. 5 EASY STEPS! But it wasn’t easy at all! It took me 30 steps! Hahahaha… Mom was really worried because I was getting frustrated. But I did it!“ Leo said while laughing lightly. “The boys will come over our apartment at 6. Hongbin is going to bring her daughter Yoojin. Ah.. She’s a really cute girl you know. Can’t wait to see her all grown up and Hongbin will surely be worried when that time comes. Oh.. Hakyeon and Jaehwan finally got married. Sanghyuk got a scholarship in America.” Leo added.

“7 years ha? We are now near our 10^th anniversary. 7 years. WOW! Time moves so fast “ Leo was looking from afar, as if reminiscing the best moments of his life. Then suddenly he got quiet. “But… “ He started... “But the past two years is excruciatingly slow for me. Haha.“ Leo smiled with sadness evident in his eyes. “I love you Ravi. I love you so much. Until now, I am still in love with you. You really are possessive ha? You occupy all my thoughts every waking moment. Even in my dreams too. Ah.. You look so handsome in my dreams. ” Leo was trying hard not to cry. “Ah. I’m gonna start crying again. You’ll scold me if I cry.” Leo was now wiping stream of tears from his eyes. Trying to fight back. He promised himself that he would be strong. “But how can I not cry Ravi?” Leo exclaimed. His fist clenched. Leo was a broken man. How can a person move on from such grief?

 “I miss you. I miss you so much! I’m trying. I’m slowly getting up with the help of our friends, my mom and your mom has always been supportive of me. But…. But I can’t do this without you! I wished you could have taken me with you Ravi-ah. I miss you so much. It hurts. I miss you. I miss you so much my love.” He was a mess. His eyes puffy and were now starting to hurt from crying too much. After a few minutes of silence, he calmed down. He wiped all the tears from his face. Released his clenched fist from his chest then he looked up at the sky.

“I love you Ravi. Can you hear me Ravi?” Leo shouted towards the sky, as if desperately calling for someone.

 “When I talk to you at night in my prayer, can you hear me? When I whisper I love yous in the wind, do my feelings reach you there in heaven? Ah. I hope it does. I hope it does indeed.”  Leo said in a loving tone.

He stood up and placed the bouquet of flowers beside Ravi’s grave stone. “I have to go now Love. See you later okay? Wait for me. I love you always.” Leo walked back to his car. He was still holding back his tears. He opened his phone, plugged in his earphones and played the only track that was set on repeat from his music player. It was Ravi’s voice singing along to their favorite song.

“Wise men say.....

Only fools rush in......

But I can't help falling in love with you…

Hey love! Happy anniversary. I love you so much. See you soon okay?”

 Leo finally smiled and whispered to the wind “I love you too. See you soon.“  It was the last message that Ravi sent before  he died that night.

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Ravi died from a car accident. It was their 5^th anniversary. It was raining hard but he still rushed to get to their apartment. A small blue box and a carefully folded tissue paper were placed on the passenger seat. He planned to propose to Leo that night. He had written his proposal speech in the tissue paper he got from their favorite restaurant. He was practicing his lines for his proposal while driving. He did not notice a truck swerving, speeding  on its way. In a flash, Ravi’s car was hit by the truck. He was brought to the hospital but was confirmed dead on arrival.

Leo screamed on top of his lungs that night hoping that Ravi would hear. Streams of tears falling from his eyes. “Take me with you Ravi-ah. I can’t do this without you! Take me with you. Please. Please take me with you. Please take me with you Ravi. Take me with you Ravi. Please please please." The hospital room was filled with sobs and loud pleads from Leo. And it echoed like a broken mantra.