"Oh wow, this is so disgusting I can't believe you two."

Waking up to Hoseok ing in his doorway was not quite the way that Taehyung liked to be roused from his sleep, but it was too regular of an occurrence for him to be all that surprised that Hoseok was spitting snark before... wait, what time was it? Taehyung peers out the window and determins it can't have been any later than six seeing as the sun was just rising up. He groans and wiggles around and—oh yeah, Jungkook. He lifts his head and sneaks a glance at the  younger's face. He's still sound asleep and his lips are squished together like a fish from how deeply he's snuggled into the pillow. Taehyung smiles at the sight, to act for Hoseok obviously, and wiggles that much closer.  

"Do not," Hoseok says with an expression reminiscent of sour grapes, "do that in front of me. I refuse to be witness to these public displays of affection."

"It's my bedroom."

"And Namjoons--and the maknae's too, apparently," he grumbles under his breath. "Yeah well, it's my that's gonna get roasted by the manager if I don't get you two up."

Taehyung snuffles into Jungkook's hair and whines, "five more minutes, hyung." Jungkook stirs a little but doesn't wake.

"No, now!" Hoseok storms forward and rips the blanket away from the bed.  

Taehyung can see that moment that Hoseok realises he's made a terrible mistake.   

Under the covers, Taehyung's pressed all up against Jungkook's back.

.  

Now, this is an awkward situation in and of itself, but it's really taken to the next level when Taehyung realises he's half hard from a morning wood and it's pressed right up in the cleft of Jungkook's .                                     

Hoseok stares. He just stares. Right at his .

"Um, can you please stop looking at my hyung?"

Hoseok doesn't and just flails his arms around in a weird motion that doesn't really make a lot of sense. "Why is your ... there?"

"This is how I sleep."

Hoseok stares some more. "You sleep... you sleep with your —you know what, I actually don't want to know. I truly, truly do not want to know." He spins on his heel and stumbles out, eyes glazed and expression horrified.  

Well, that would certainly give Hoseok some food for thought.

Taehyung can almost feel the dirt being thrown onto his chest as he's lowered six feet into the ground, Jungkook laughing manically at the top with a shovel in his hand. This would be his last day on earth once Jungkook finds out what transpired that morning. Taehyung prays to all the God's he knows that maybe he'll make it out of this one with only mild mental scarring, but he's not too optimistic about the whole thing honestly.  

Taehyung rolls off the bed, taking care to not jostle Jungkook lest he wake up, and frantically shoves his clothes back on. One way or another Taehyung is going to have to face this. He knows it's now or later so he makes the mature decision.

He ing bolts.    

The whole day's followed by this weird tension that everyone can feel but no one really knows the source of other than Hoseok and Taehyung. Hoseok, for his part, is just looking out the window with haunted eyes and occasionally shuddering. Every now and then he slides his eyes between Jungkook and Taehyung and then whips them back to his lap, mumbling something under his breath.  

It would've been hilarious had Taehyung not been fearing for his precious life that his loving father bestowed upon him. Maybe Taehyung will actually go home and write up his will.  

While the members (even the manager keeps shooting them strange looks) can feel the tension, no one brings it up. They all just stare at each other, then at Hoseok and Taehyung, then back at each other, having some form of silent communication that probably goes along the lines of 'what's up with him?', then 'bruh, does it look like I know?'  

Dance practice doesn't go well. At all. Their choreography has been changed for the umpteenth time and everyone's still stumbling over the old moves so their teachers calls a break, exasperated.  

This is when Jungkook decides to pounce. He sidles up to Taehyung and traps him in the corner of the practice room.  

"Why has Hobi hyung been giving me this look like I just burnt down his childhood home or something? I mean," Jungkook says, giving Taehyung a very narrow eyed look, "he's been giving you the same look all day."       

Taehyung breaks out in a sweat.  

"So you wouldn't happen to know anything," Jungkook steps closer, "would you?"

Taehyung's probably going to have a heart attack—maybe a . Hell, maybe both.  

"W-w-well..."

Jungkook quirks an eyebrow and shuffles that much closer. They're practically touching now and Taehyung's backed up so far he's pressed against the mirror. "Funny that, uh, you mention it ha-ha. So like, no biggie, just this morning we uh, we were cuddling and Hoseok walked in." He stops there and prays that Jungkook will just let it go.

The motherer doesn't.

"And? We always do that and it never makes hyung look like he's dying inside."  

Taehyung's sweating bullets now. He feels like Ted Striker when he tried to land in Airplane!.  

"Except I--well, you know when we were about to go to sleep and I warned you, I warned you, that I'd probably end up stripping my underwear off in the night. I warned you," he repeats, just to really drill the point in. "So I guess it got a bit toasty with both of us under the covers and my very asleep self must've slipped them off and Hobi hyung walked in and we were cuddling and like, I was taking the big spoon. Commando." There. He said it. He closes his eyes and waits for death.

Jungkook just stands there for a few seconds. "Oh. Is that it?"  

Taehyung's whole world goes spinning. Is he in an alternate universe? Is he mishearing? Is Jungkook high?  

Jungkook just looks kind of contemplative. "I mean, who sleeps with their platonic friend with their hanging out right? That's basically gotta be a deal breaker in Hoseok hyung's mind that there's definitely at least something a little suss going on. At the very least maybe he thinks we're friends with benefits or something now. I still don't think he suspects us of dating though because he would've just asked outright—you know how he is. So he's probably just freaked out that he walked in on us after we'd potentially done the dirty. At least it's a step in the right direction though."

Taehyung takes ten seconds to just... process.  

He does a quick recon.

Both arms: attached.

Both legs: while somewhat shaky, are still in fine condition.

Head: still in place.

"Uh," Taehyung says, eloquence shining through. "Uh. You're not mad?"  

"What, that you took your underwear off?" He asks, and when he's given a nod he grimaces. "Yeah, I'm pissed and now I'm infected with your gross germs but at least the result was good." Jungkook pats his shoulder and walks off like he's not even that worried about it but Taehyung knows Jungkook, and this is why something is not quite... right.

This is going well.

Too well.  

Taehyung is suspicious.

"But," Jungkook drawls, his innocent little face morphing into something evil—horrendous. Taehyung remembers this exact expression from Death Note when Light Yagami had finally discovered his purpose for the death note. Jungkook's probably been practicing. "You have to be my slave for a whole week if you want my forgiveness."