Jinki lets out a frustrated sigh as he holds his face in his hands, curled up on the couch. He’s stressed to the max and can’t think straight, not about the approaching comeback, not about singing the correct notes, not about what to do and when to do it for the choreography. His head is too jumbled at the moment to focus on any of that. All he wants to do right now, what he really needs, is to have a shoulder to cry on. He wants someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be okay. Someone to tell him that no matter how defeated he feels, no matter how much stuff is happening, it will all turn out fine.

            He supposes he could tell s, but he would never do that. He’s the leader, he has to be strong. He can’t have s knowing that he can’t handle their crazy schedule. He can’t let them see his weaker side.

            Jinki lets out a soft whimper, allowing tears to begin streaming down his face. Luckily for him the others have their own schedules today, leaving him alone in the dorm. The squeak from the front door opening alerts Jinki of someone else’s presence, causing him to bolt upright and sit normally as he hurriedly wipes away the tears.

            “Hey hyung, I’m back! So I hope you’re not or anything! ” Jonghyun jokingly calls out as he enters the dorm, removing his shoes and leaving them at the door. Jinki chuckles lightly. At least it’s just Jjong, he thinks. If there was a member that he’d be okay with opening up to, it would be Jonghyun. Of course Jinki is close with all of the members, but he and Jonghyun have some sort of special bond between them. They’ve been best friends since their trainee days. Jonghyun has some sort of effect on Jinki. He makes his heart race, his palms sweat, yet calms him all at once. Jinki often finds his mind wandering to thoughts of holding the singer close, arms wrapped around his waist while he leaves tiny kisses on the soft skin of the younger’s neck. It drives him crazy knowing that he can’t be more than friends with a band member, or the company would have his head; if not the company, then the fans certainly would. They would not take the news of their bias being in a relationship particularly well.

“Not . And I’m right here, you don’t have to yell!”

            “Oh, sorry hyung.” The singer chuckles and enters the living room, then collapses on the couch next to Jinki. He groans. “I’m honestly so glad to be back home. I just want to lay here and not move for the rest of the day.”

            Jinki nods, unable to come up with a decent response. His silence forces the white- haired boy to look at him curiously. A look of concern crosses his face immediately. “Hyung, are you okay? Is something wrong?”

            “Hm? No, I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong!” Jinki tries to sound enthusiastic and joyful, tries to mask his true feelings from the other.

            “Lies.” Jjong sees right through Jinki’s façade and places his hand on the elder’s thigh. “What’s wrong? You can tell me. You know you can tell me anything, Jinks.”

            Jinki can feel his heart beat slightly faster when the younger boy touches him. He’s almost used to it now, with how touchy the king of skin ship can be. Nevertheless, the simple touch gives him butterflies. He curses himself for allowing himself to feel the way that he does towards Jonghyun.

“Jinki?” Jonghyun tilts his head, searching for some response. Jinki opens his mouth to let everything spill out and tell his best friend everything, but none of that comes out. None of the tiny details that contribute to him being upset come out, instead the main issue that he’s been holding inside for years slips out.

            “I feel like a bad leader.”

            “What? Why would you think-”

            “Actually, no. I am a bad leader.” Tears well up in his eyes, trying to finally escape. The younger shakes his head in disbelief.

            “Jinki, no. No you’re not. You’re a great leader.”

            “Oh please, no I’m not.”

            “Yes, you are. You’re one of the best leaders, for sure.”

            “No I’m not, Jjong!” Jinki pushes himself off the couch, tears of frustration, sadness, and anger all mixing and falling down his face. “I can’t even handle our schedule!! I’m weaker than every single one of you!! I can’t think straight right now because everything is so crazy, so I definitely can’t lead you guys at all!! Tell me what kind of leader can’t even handle simple comeback preparations!!”

            Jonghyun jumps off the couch, his voice matching the elder’s volume. “Just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you aren’t human, Jinks!” The singer steps toward Jinki, then takes a hand in his and tones down his voice a bit. “What we do is stressful. It’s insane sometimes. We don’t expect you to not get stressed out just because you’re the leader, and you shouldn’t either, okay?”

            Jinki doesn’t answer. He stands frozen in place as Jonghyun’s words ring throughout his head. He knows the younger is right. It’s just hard for him sometimes, he wants to appear strong to his group. He wants them to be able to look up to him. Jjong reaches out and takes Jinki’s face in his hands. “It’s perfectly normal to be stressed sometimes. It doesn’t make you weak, or any less of an awesome leader. Okay?”

            Jinki carefully thinks through his words once more, then nods and finally looks at his fellow member’s face for the first time since he’s been back. Their eyes meet, both of them realizing just how close their faces are. Jinki’s face heats up as his hart pounds inside his chest. He’s just about to pull back when Jonghyun leans forward and presses his slightly chapped lips against Jinki’s soft ones. Every single worry in Jinki’s head suddenly disappears, pushed away by having his best friend’s lips on his. His mind becomes fuzzy, filled only with thoughts of Jonghyun. The corners of his mouth curl up, smiling into the kiss he’s been wanting for months now.

            When the singer lets go of him, Jinki steps back, completely stunned. His jaw drops in surprise, and he brings a hand up to his lips, running a finger across them as if he can still feel Jonghyun on them. Still slightly unsure how to comprehend the whole situation, Jinki searches for words.

“I-I, uh, J-Jjong I, you, uh, we- ”

“Shhh.” Jonghyun wraps his arms around the elder’s neck, allowing Jinki to rest his head on his shoulder. A hand runs gently through Jinki’s chocolate brown locks, and a warm voice enters his ears. “Let’s talk about it later, yeah? But Jinki, please don’t ever think you’re a bad leader. You’re the best leader and friend someone could possibly ask for. And… and I think I might be in love with you.”