Hours have passed, and thousands of passengers have come and go. The day was passing by swiftly. I wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. I just came to accompany Taemin as he wait for his train going back home. I wasn’t supposed to stay for another five hours after his train left. But, here I am. Why?

I’ve been staring at her as the hours passed. Numerous trains have arrived and left the station, but she sat still on the bench. She could pass as a beauty if she just arranged her hair a little, and chose better clothes. But a second after, I shook that thought off my head. She is beautiful. Despite the bloodshot eyes and messy hair and mismatching clothes. But her eyes, they were heavy. They looked tired. It’s the kind of tired that was kept in for years, tucked away secretly so that no one knows how much life is taking away from you. I could feel the weight of the world that was resting on her shoulders. And at that moment, I wanted nothing more than just to run to her and take away her pain, no matter how impossible that is.

I observed the way her lips would start to tremble, and then she’d bite them and swallowed what seemed to be a lump in . I noticed how she looked at the rail of the trains so closely, and the she’d close her eyes, and then stare at the opening and closing of the train doors after. And in those moments, I wonder what’s going on in her mind. I wonder if she’s going through a break-up, or did she lose someone dear to her. I wonder if she’s been eating or even sleeping, because the hollowed cheeks and bags under her eyes are telling otherwise.

I’ve been sitting here for another four hours. And I’m wondering why I stayed this long just for a girl. A girl with black, messy hair, and tired eyes, and quivering lips, and heck, she was a t a train station and she doesn’t have anything with her. I’m starting to wonder why she’s here. And I’m starting to wonder why I’m here. What is she here for? These trains are bound to the next city, and she’s here with nothing but herself. So, why is she here?

Then I remembered, that I’m also here. I’ve been here for almost ten hours. The sun is starting to set, from what I can see. I could’ve enjoyed my weekend lazing around my apartment, or eating my heart out, or completing my homeworks. But I am at a train station, staring at a girl who is staring at the trains.

I was contemplating whether I should approach her, and ask her if she’s fine, when she suddenly smiled. And I was in awe of how much beauty a single smile could hold. Because when she smiled, it was like a fire lit up inside her. It was as if the sun has finally shone in her cold, dark world. And I couldn’t help but marvel at the sight before me; the girl closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and once she opened them again, I saw a sparkle. It’s like seeing a new found determination in whatever it is she has to tackle in her life. She tried to fix her hair, as much as she could and stood up wordlessly. She headed for the train and just like that, she was out of my sight.

I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding in. And I had to take a moment because I never had been so mesmerized with someone before. I was seeing rebirth right in front of my eye during those times. It was like seeing someone change her perspective in the span of ten hours. I looked at my watch and decided to head home. I passed by the bench where she was sitting, and noticed a folded paper. I opened it and felt my heart drop as I read the words on it. But then I recalled all her actions, and realized that she did what was right for her. I exhaled a sigh, and then went on with my intention of getting home. The letter was still within my grasp. I didn’t know what to do with it yet. But, I had a feeling that it would be useful in the future, if ever I decide to chase after the girl who stole my heart in a matter of ten hours. The words on the letter kept running through my mind:

            10-29-16

today, I make the decision. to jump or to ride. to take the last breath or take the last train home.

And it calmed me down, knowing that she was taking the last train home.
 

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its been a while hehe. school is stressful. don't grow up.