It ended. Our make believe marriage ended.  For six months I was with him, I was happy. I was able to show him a side of me I’ve never shown to anyone.  Though I know our days together are numbered, I blindly followed my heart.

“ Seungyeon-ah, are you really going to take this offer?” My manager asked as we made our way to the company.

“Of course, Oppa. This is a great opportunity for me. “I replied.

“But you know that there’s always a risk. It’s a pretend marriage- you and him will be linked to each other. He has lots of followers.”

“But you said it yourself before Oppa. We got married open doors to newbies like me. If he has lots of followers, then we can use it to our advantage.

“But will you be able to hold back your feelings?  I already told you who your partner will be. Can you really not take things personally?”  My manager asked again.

“I will not let this hinder my career, Oppa. I know my priorities.” I adamantly replied.

 But somewhere along the way, you crept into my life. Your gentle ways and loving gestures broke the walls I built around my heart.  I was so sure that my career is my priority but it changed when I decided to choose you.

“Seungyeon-ah, I really like you. Not for the show or anything. I like you.  Would you be my girl?”  He asked as we made our way back from Busan.

“ I like you too, Oppa. But what about your fans? What about our companies? Should we let them know?”  I replied in question.

“They’ll separate us, honey. Let’s keep it to ourselves for now.”  You uttered as you pull me into your tight embrace.

And willingly I took the risk.

We keep behind closed doors
Every time I see you, I die a little more
Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls
It'll never be enough

We pretended that nothing’s going on. That’s it’s all for a show. We can never be seen together after the shoot. - Our managers are always on trailing behind us. But we were able to create a plan. If both of us are free, we would sneak in and meet at my dorm. It is easier this way than me going to your group’s dorm. We also changed each other’s name on our phone so no one would know that we are contacting each other outside the show.

It's obvious you're meant for me
Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly
Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep
But I'll never show it on my face

When the show ended, they thought it’s the end for us as well. But we decided to stay together. Stolen moments, when you have to sneak out in the wee hours of the morning just to see me. I have to fly to Japan when you had your fan meet. My best friend book the flight for me, too scared that my manager would know about my plan. I have a day off and we will not see each other again for almost a month if I will not fly to meet you. I took the flight at 2am and went to your hotel. We spend the free time before your fan meet and I stayed till you return. You drove me off to the airport just before midnight.

“Yeobo, I’m really sorry. I know its tiring for you, but please hang on. I’ll be back in Korea soon and we can see each other easier.”  You uttered before I get off your car.

“I understand, Oppa. You know I do. Just do well here and I’ll see you when you get back, okay?”  I replied with a smile though I’m really sad.

“I’ll do well here so we can save money. When I have established my business and properties we will get married. I promise.” You asssured me again.

“I’ll see you soon, Oppa. Take care of yourself.” I kissed you one more time before I left.

Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that?
'Cause I'm yours

The offer for a new drama came and I was surprised to hear that it’s from your company. I was flustered all the more when I got to know that it’s you I’m going to be partnered with. I’m happy because we can see each other almost every day but how can I act as if we are just friends. I called you and when you said you’re home I asked you to come to my place.

“ Seungyeon-ah, aren’t you happy we can see each other frequently. It’s just like when we were in WGM?”  You enquired.

“I’am happy, Oppa. I really am. But how can we pretend this time? The taping hours will be longer and I’m just afraid that people will know about us.”  I replied.

“Are you scared that your career will be affected if people became suspicious of us?”  You asked.

“Not only my career, Oppa but most specially yours.  It’s you who asked to keep it a secret remember?”

“It’s our chance, Seungyeon. We can work together and be together as well. Why are you scared?”

“Because I’m not a good actress, Oppa. I’m scared that people will found out about us by the way I act towards you. If it’s easy for you, it’s not gonna be that way with me. Good thing we ended We Got Married while starting our relationship. It’s different this time, Oppa. It’ll be harder to hide my feelings. I’m not a pro like you.” I replied with tears in my eyes.

I walked away from you and asked. “Can you leave for now, Oppa? I’m sorry but I’m not feeling well. I wanna be alone.”

You walked away head hung low. But I know you’ll be back soon.

Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that?
'Cause I'm yours

The next day, I received a big bouquet of flowers from you. I’m still scared but I smile with the message you have written.

“ Seungyeonnie…

I’m sorry for hurting you. I love you too much and I cannot just let you go. I know what we have is not an ideal relationship, we have to hide our love but you know that what we have is real. I don’t know what I will do if I lose you. Believe in me baby. Just give me more time. A few years from now, we will get married in Busan; we will raise our kids and live a happy life. But for now baby, please do not let go. Hold my hand and we’ll brave this journey together. I love you .

the man who loves you,

Jonghyun

And today as I watched him film the drama, I can’t help but fall in love with him all the more. This man is passionate about his work and he really wants to perfect his craft. How can I not support him? In time I know we can be together publicly, I believe in him and the promise that he made.  For now, we will pretend.

Why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftop
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that?
'Cause I'm yours