Donghae throw his body on the couch, he draw a big sigh. Closing his eyes, and draws some sigh again.  Today was hard for him. Not just because of his schedule. Other things happen. And the hardest part is his relationship. With the Goddess, Sandara Park.

They are friend for 10 years. That what people see and know, but the reality they are on couple. They are dating 4 years after 2NE1 debut, after her banned relationship lifting by Yanggoon. He has a crush on her since they are not yet an idol. Sandara are his perfect dream, his forever goddess. With her is like a dream comes true.

He promises himself, he never let her go. However, these days he lost his confidence. Day by day, he forgets that he ever make that promise. He feels that their relationships are going worst. They keep fight, even for small thing. He doesn’t know what happen but he tired with the fight. He tired to feel insecure, to getting hurt, give the other party only scars. He failed on his love this time.

--

Sandara just back from Philippines, she at YG’s building, she need check some of work as a 2NE1 Public Relations on her own desk. However, Instead of working, she only blank stares on her computer screen. She thinks what happen yesterday. She got fight with her boyfriend, she can not counting for the umpteenth time this happen. Too often, and getting worst. She slowly becomes annoying with this relationship. She feel tired already just think about it. She loves him, and she knows he love her, but they always end up give each other scars. She asking herself, where the love and warm word that they always share. Right now, every time they open their mouth, only pain that they get.

Sandara draw a big sigh, she closed her eyes. Feel the pain that remain on her heart. She doesn’t know what should she do. This is not her first relationship, but she always feel like the first. Being with Donghae, be in relationship with him, feel the love from him are always feel new for her.  She doesn’t want to let it go, she doesn’t want to let him go, but being in the same place make it worst. It’s the biggest dilemma in her life. She doesn’t have confidence to choose. But she know, whatever she choose, they both will getting hurt.

--

Sandara and Donghae meet at a private restaurant. They happy to see each other but keep it for themselves, something up, they know it, this meeting is not their usually meeting, they feel the tense. They both hate this, but have no other choice. 

“how Philippines?” Donghae ask coldly. He don’t mean to be cold for this woman, its comes so sudden when he remember what they fight about before.

“hot as usual.” Sandara answer with a flat tone. Try to not look weak or angry.

“As hot as the man you meet there?” Donghae sarcasm, and immediately feel regret. He starts the fight. He already told himself to be patient and talking nicely to her, then now, he throw the tantrum, when he want to make up his words, Sandara already glared at him. He just know, it was late.

Sandara look at him with disbelieve eyes, she cannot believe how this man keep misdoubt her. She throws the chopstick that she holds. “Do you want keep doing this? Until when you’ll be this over protective? You never believe me right?” Sandara start feeling her shaking voice.

“How can I am not be over protective if it is about you”. Donghae thought

Sandara look straight at Donghae eyes. “I thought you’ll be sorry for doubt me, that’s why I agree to meeting you, I miss you, but every time I feel happy meeting you, we just end up fighting, I love you, so much, but your over protective killing me day by day, we are an idol, we are an entertainer, why can you understand it? Why are you kept doubt me? Am I not good enough for you to believe me?” Sandara cracking up, without her realize, his tears keep falling down on her cheek, he feel so hurt to hear what Donghae said before.

Donghae shocked to see her crying, it never happen before, she is  strong woman, he know it and now he regret it even more, he hurt her more that he exceeds. Even he doesn’t mean it. He knows that her crying face will never be erasing on his memories. Those crying faces bit by bit make him breathless. He hope that she stop crying as soon as possible, and the only thing that could stop that crying are hug her, but he know when he hug her, asking her to stop crying and apologize, in the future he will repeat the mistake, he just can give her pain.he want to stop her pain, and then he decide and told her.

“Let’s break up.”

Sandara didn’t believe what she just heard. She never expect it’ll come this fast. Moreover, it hurt more than he predicts to be. Her heart falls apart. She telling him that she missed him, loved him, she is crying, show him how hurt it was that he can not believe her, she show him how weak she is, but she only gets that words for replied. he told her to break up.

She look straight at Donghae eyes, hope there is a kidding there, even that word is not suppose to be a jokes, she really hope that it was a joke, but that puppy eyes only give her cold, he is serious and Sandara  know it. This situation is real. She draw a sigh, biting her lips, try to hold her tears, for the last time she want to look stronger.

“Fine, if you want it.” Sandara said, make Donghae shocked. He a bit hope that Sandara will reject it. He hope Sandara will pleaded him that they can start over, But he can not go back, he believe that this is the best for them. They end it. They end their relationship. For a while, Donghae feel like this is just dreams and then in a second he realize this is real and gradually the pain touch him. Slowly and killed him inside.

Sandara grab her jacket, she thought she doesn’t have any reason to stay, so she leave. Show her back to Donghae.

Donghae look at Sandara back, then without he realize it, “noona.” Donghae called her, make her stop. But she doesn’t dare to turn around, she afraid when she turn around and look at him, she will beg him to not break up with her. And she doesn’t want it happen even she still love him.

Donghae never know that this noona will be this cold, she doesn’t bother to look back, look at him. He bit his lips,  “Mianhe, and, I love you.” Donghae said with a warmest voice that Sandara ever heard. Sandara close her eyes, she want to run toward him and hug him, tell him to forget this meeting, they don’t need to break up. But then he remember, Donghae that asking her to break up, so she leave the room, leaving Donghae and leave their relationship behind, but the pain and love keep on her heart, remain on the same place.

--

2 month after broke up.

Sandara walking around on Fukuoka shopping street, she have business trip there, together with CL and GD, CL already offer to company her, CL worried leave her Unnie alone, especially after the worst break up she experience, but she refuse, she want to go alone.

When she walking around look something cute, she saw something, then suddenly she stop and freeze, she saw someone from the opposite direction walking toward her. She keep blinking, she afraid that what she saw are just her imagination, just because she miss that person so much, but no matter how much she blink, she keep seeing that person, that person are real and the distance getting closer. It was Donghae. She can not believe how can this happen, she fly to Japan for work and now she see him here, especially not at Tokyo but at Fukuoka, 13 hour with car from Tokyo. How could this happen? How can God playing with her heart like this, did He know that she not yet forget Donghae, how did He test her like this, she definitely will failed on this test.

She was not ready to meet him so, she walk straight and pretend didn’t see him, she look at the clothing, pretend to interesting with the goods. And praying the man didn’t recognize her. Didn’t calling her name, didn’t think that she is exist.

The distance closer, Sandara try to not look so obvious, even her heart are racing right now, but thanks for her acting class, she can acting well now. Then he is passing her by. She then look at his back. The last time they meet, when they break up, she didn’t properly see him, and now she want to satisfy her eyes, she look at his back until she can not see him again. She draw a big sigh, and without her realize she shed tears, as she expected, she missing him.

--

“Why are you pretend to not see him?” CL asking confused.

“I am not ready yet to face him.”

“Until when?” CL sighs and look at her Unnie, “Unnie, you know in our world, we will keep hitting to another artist, especially Super Junior Sunbae-Nim. You can not just avoiding him like that…”

“I know.” Sandara cutting off CL. She throws herself on the bed. She sighs and looks at CL who waiting her to talk, even Sandara older, she doesn’t have the right to cutting the Leader words, it’s breaking their rule. CL takes the chair and sits facing her.

“Sometimes, I ask myself, when will that day come? When I can face him properly, say hi to him like nothing happen. When will I say his name without weird feeling on my heart?” she paused. “Maybe someday I will do that.” she looks at CL with an watery eyes “but not today. Believe me, I really want to forget him, forget this feeling, forget the memories that we make together. But..” she pause again and bit her lips, makes CL moved,  “I am afraid when I delete him on my memories, I am not myself anymore, even I hate to remember this feeling, feel this pain, even I want to delete him from my brain and heart, I just can not do it. He is part of me. And when I realize he is part of my life before and now, not anymore, I ended up missing him so much, and can not bear the pain of missing him.” Sandara blabber, make CL can not argue her anymore and then she patted her unnie. She know, just times that can treat the wounds. Nothing she can do, nothing they can do.

--

3 months and 2 weeks after broke up

Sandara running alongside Hanggang River, she tries to do more exercise lately, especially in the night. Why? its simply, she just want feel tired and sleep after that. she try to drunk before but it make her feel miserable the next day, and she can not work properly, so this is the new one, she is working out, but these day her body getting used of it and then she back can not sleep.  However, she keep doing it, she feel calm when the breeze hitting her. Make her focus on what her do. Makes her forget about Donghae and their break up.

Sandara stop. She sigh, and she always doing it whatever she remember about him. Back then she always crying until she can not breathe but now, whenever she remember him and feel the pain, she stop what she doing and calm herself, getting used of the pain, but still can not face him. The feelings are deeper than she thought.  

When she look straight, see saw Donghae standing 2 meters a head. She smiles, here again, her missing feel make her imagination go crazy, whenever she missed him, she will look somebody else looks like him. She laugh, feel so stupid, its been more than 3 months after they break up, how can she is not yet forget about him. Maybe she needs to see a psychiatrist tomorrow because she keeps saw her ex boyfriend, and it’ll be a good news for a reporters. Headlines: Sandara Park meeting the psychiatrist to forget her ex. She laughs aloud when she imagines it. And then that Donghae creatures is not disappear and run toward her, she keep laughing herself, she think that her imagine go crazy. Then suddenly "that" Donghae creature hugs her. She sudenly stops laughing. Realize this is not her imagination. That Donghae was not her imagination, that was the real Donghae. And that Donghae hug her, right now.

“oh my God.” She mumble and she shed a tears. She missing him so much.

--

Donghae, stop his car on the Hanggang River side, he want to take a walk for a while, he want to take some fresh air after a busy day. He look around, this side is more desolate that the other, walking without mask here will not draw attention from people. He know this side from Eunhyuk, he is good adviser fot a place like this, she dating more than him.

“I should bring Sandara here before, so many place I want to go with her.” He mumbles for himself. “Oh what am I thinking? It’s over.” He keep talking to himself, he do that so he doesn’t feel lonely.  

He keeps walking and can not stop thinking about her. its been more than 3 months after they break up, how can he is not yet forget about her. He smile, and think that she must be a real love for him.

He keep walking, he remember when he see her, at Fukuoka, still can not believe how the fate make fun of him, he see her, walking around. He knows that Sandara saw him that time, but she pretend to not see him, so he decide to play along the game, he passed her by. After that he telling Eunhyuk about it and he ask him why he do that, he remember what his answer “I don’t know my heart, I hurt her. A lot. I feel so sorry and terrible for her, it’s the right choice for us to end all of it, and maybe she want to delete me from her life, that’s why she pretend to not seeing me that time. You know I love her so much, in the level that I accept all her way to forget me. I don’t know how much I make her cry. So I do what her want, I passed by, even its hurt me too, like cut by a knife, even I want her to know that I miss her, but I just passed her by.”

After thinking again, Donghae feel stupid, why he do that? he chuckles “I should hug her that time.” He talking to himself again. then suddenly he stop walking. 2 meters ahead, he sees her, he sees Sandara with a training suit, he can not believe her eyes,  he was so shocked that he just can freeze. Then their eyes meet, she smiles. And he know that this is real. The fate are seriously playing with me he thought, and then she look at him again and this time she laugh aloud, he don’t understand what she laugh for but he miss that smile, he miss that laugh, he miss her so much. And without he realize he run toward her and the next think he know, that woman, a woman that he love and he missed so much already on her arms. He hugs her.

He closed his eyes, feeling the warm of her body, he was glad he meet her, and so glad there is no other people around, he still think to protect her as an entertainer, he don’t want people see both of them hugs in the public place.  

He open his eyes when he feel wet on her shoulder, he know she is crying. but this time, he glad that she is crying. she show how painful it was to separate from him. he know he being egoist but this time, he want Sandara know he miss her so much.

“Oh my God.” She mumbles and hugs him tighter. That time he know that she missed him too.

*end*

should i make the chapter after that dramatical meeting? you choose :)

Hi, this is the first time i write DaraHae as a couple not a brother and sister. sorry for the lack and so so so sorry about the Gramatical error.

for my friend i know i have other story to finish, and this a good news, i write Darahae series and will finish Eunhae serries too.

Be nice to me please....