The leaves fallen from the trees were scattered around the backyard of a bungalow house. Wilted flowers died on their pots indicating the absence of their caretaker. I bit my lips frowning at how the owner would fuss when he sees this mess in front of me. He hates being disorganized and it was something that I had learned while living with him.

“Appa, are you sure you can do it? You can just go inside and rest. Let me do it for you,” my youngest son offered.

“You’re underestimating my strength. Your dad maybe wrinkled now but he’s still stand on his two feet!” I exclaimed, attempting to jump and do push ups but he stopped me saying that he understood.

“But the weather is cold... your knees...” he trailed off.

“My knees say they can do it. Trust me okay?” I pushed him towards the door and asked him to start cleaning inside. We only have one day to do this clean up so we better hurry up.

As I had said, it didn’t tire me to do basic stuffs like sweeping the fallen leaves on the ground. My children are always exaggerating about my health. I’m still strong, that’s what I keep telling myself. I’m still young at heart.

My thoughts were interrupted as something cold fell on my head. I looked up and realized that it was raindrops that fell from the sky. I immediately ran to find shelter as the rain shower continues to wet the ground. I watched the view in awe from where I am standing. Suddenly, memories from the past came rushing in to me.

2007

I was so young and scared back then when I first met the team. Being a foreign and newcomer to a big group, who wouldn’t feel intimidated? My first impression of them being scary disappeared upon spending days which stretched into months with them.  The team was actually full of energy and happiness.

I’ve heard stories from the trainees that Leeteuk hyung was strict. I admit being scared of him that time, but changed my mind when he warmly welcomed and protected me from those crazy anti-fans that time.  It was Hangeng hyung who made me feel anchored to my home, even though it was miles away. The rest of the hyungs were fun with different kinds of personalities but I was amazed on how they managed to get along well, and eventually stay together for so long.

That time when I joined them, I witnessed their strong bond with each other. Kyuhyun hyung just came back from hospital after his horrible accident and all the hyungs were so protective of him. Later in the years to come, I learned more of their past, on how Kyuhyun hyung laments on his hard days as a maknae. Meanwhile, what struck me the most was how close he was with Ryeowook hyung. I figured out that they must be the best of friends in this big group, being the youngest and almost with the same experience in the past.

“Henry-ah come join us for breakfast. The hyungs went out early for their schedules so we’re the only ones left here,” he called for me as he began serving pancakes on the table. Kyuhyun was already sitting while reading his book.

I sat opposite him and waited for Ryeowook hyung to finish serving.

“Kyu, you should eat first before studying. You’re still taking your meds and you need energy enough to come back with us onstage,” he lectured. Kyuhyun obediently put down his book and concentrated on eating. It amazed me that he listens well to him than to the other members.

“I really missed your food. Hospital food tastes bland that makes me sick,” he complained.

“Didn’t I brought foods whenever I visit?”

“You don’t always visit me,”

I saw Ryeowook hyung raise his brow. “Excuse me? You should compare it to how often the hyungs visit you,”

“They are busy, you are not.”

“But I’ve spent the night before with you. So it gives me lots of plus points than the hyungs, right?”

“That’s why I love you the most,” Kyuhyun hyung said and I thought I saw Ryeowook hyung’s cheeks turn light pink.

2008

I met them again the following year and formed a sub-unit. I was glad that I was with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun hyung. They instantly became my favourite even though they love to bully everyone including me.

However, as we stayed in China for many months, I felt something had changed between the two of them. It wasn’t that obvious at first but soon the ‘little’ awkward moments were also felt by the others. Sometimes I would catch Ryeowook hyung stealing glances at Kyuhyun but looks away as soon as the other felt his eyes upon him. Soon I also began to notice the faint blush in Ryeowook hyung’s cheeks whenever Kyuhyun was in close proximity. And there, I began to realize what was happening between the two of them.

I cornered Ryeowook hyung one time when he was alone.

“Henry-ah what’s the matter?” he asked. Silly hyung, he always cares for others instead of himself. “Do you need something?”

“Do I have to need something in order to talk to my favourite hyung?” I asked. I didn’t wait for him to respond. I went straight to my agenda. “Are you and Kyuhyun hyung okay?”

That caught him off guard as he wasn’t able to respond for a minute. “O-of course we are. Why are you suddenly asking me that?”

“But I felt that you two are acting distant to each other...”

“Have we? I didn’t notice it. Maybe we are just busy with stuffs.”

“But hyung, we are the only ones here in China. We all have the same schedules. How could you ignore each other?”

“It’s not like that Henry...”

“Hyung... he is sad you know? He complained to me before that he felt he’s losing the most important person in his life,” Ryeowook hyung looked surprised to what I said. “I wouldn’t inquire more on what is happening between the two of you. It’s only for you two to talk about. But you should know that hyung cares a lot about you. You should know it better than anyone else, you’re the best friend right?”

I grabbed his hands and made him look at me. “Talk to him. I know he also has something to tell you.”

As I went to bed that night, I prayed that it would result into something good and wished them the happiness that they deserved. I knew that my prayer was eventually granted when days later everything went back to normal. Or should I say, better than normal.

The hyungs that I love were inseparable once again.

2011

One summer night I quietly knocked at Kyuhyun hyung’s door. He summoned me from my apartment asking to bring some medicine and buy a list of foods which I recognized as Ryeowook hyung’s favourites. I learned that he was down with flu so I immediately got up from my bed (hence I was acting like a pig all day, eating and lying down on the bed) and follow my hyung’s order.

“I got all the stuffs in the paper bag hyung. Do you need any help?” I whispered to him noting that Ryeowook hyung might be sleeping.

“Thank you so much... I think I can handle it for now. But I’ll appreciate it if you could stay here for awhile. He doesn’t want to let go of me whenever he’s conscious.”

“It’s okay hyung. I’ll just stay here on the couch. Wake me up if you need me okay?”

“You sure you’re okay there? I can get some folded mattress to—“

“I’m fine, promise,” I grabbed some pillow and arranged it before lying down on it.

I haven’t really slept much that night.  I remember hearing one of my hyung’s private moments. Nope. Whatever you’re thinking that’s not it. Ryeowook hyung was sick that time.

“Are you hungry now?” I heard Kyuhyun hyung speak in the gentlest voice I heard from him. Only one lamp was providing light for the room