By the time the evening rolled around, I couldn’t believe that I found myself outside the restaurant, dressed up and standing next to my nemesis, Kihyun. I had told myself repeatedly throughout the day that I wouldn’t be coming to this supposed dinner, but yet here I was. Repeating to myself how incredibly stupid I was for showing up. 

I remind myself to seriously kill Kihyun tonight and have his body disposed of by tomorrow morning. To say the least, I  knew that I was under no obligation to do any favours for him, so, that left me wondering why I was standing outside a fancy italian restaurant on a Tuesday evening and pretending to be his fiance.

“You ready?” Kihyun asked cocking an eyebrow my way. 

Glaring back his way, I noticed the way he had taken his time to get ready. He had put effort in his appearance which was a vast improvement from the times I had seen him shirtless and ungroomed. He had been very careful in picking out his outfit, making me realized that he could almost pass for boyfriend material. Almost.

“What have I done wrong to keep getting myself into these situations?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. 

He laughed, a deep but genuine laugh. This was the first time I had ever heard him laugh. Panic finding it’s way to my chest, I also realized that this would also be the longest time I had spent with him, let alone talked. 

“Don’t you mean right? You just booked yourself two hours with a handsome guy. I don’t see why you’d be complaining” He teased. 

I frowned. Two hours with Kihyun? That was hardly something to brag about. In real life I avoided guys like him like my life depended on it. Running through the list of things I could possibly like about him, I come up short. I realized that I didn’t really know much about him, apart from the fact that he was the type of guy who hated facing consequences when it came down to his actions.

“Two hours of hell” I whispered, loud enough so only I could hear. 

“Let’s get to it!” He called out, wrapping his arm around my waist and tugging me into him. 

I prepared myself for what could possibly end up being the worst night ever, and my biggest mistake. This could only end up going terribly, terribly wrong. Especially since my acting skills were close to nonexistent, it was only a matter of time before his mother found out that this was all a sham. 

Nervously, I make my way behind Kihyun. Mrs. Yoo was already waiting for us inside the restaurant. Her face broke into a smile the moment she saw us walk in together. Standing up she made her way towards us, throwing her arms over Kihyun’s shoulders and hugging him. 

“Oh honey! I’m so happy you showed up!” She exclaimed, pulling away from him. 

She appraised her son, her eyes examining him from head to toe before shifting her stare over towards me. I swallowed nervously as a smile broke and she reached for my arm. Pulling us together so we were standing next to one another again, she clasped her hands together. Her eyes filling up with tears. I was for sure going to hell for doing this. This poor woman didn’t deserve to be lied to.

“You guys look so beautiful together” She commented as she tried to fight back the tears. 

Kihyun looked at me, perhaps he was having second thoughts about the whole situation. I was praying that he was because I couldn’t do this, this was way too much. I was at the reaching point of having an anxiety attack from all the guilt I was feeling. 

“Mom, come on. Don’t do this, not here…” Kihyun’s voice trailed off. 

“Your right, this is not the place” She answered, rolling her eyes to stop the tears. “Come sit!” 

She signalled us to follow her to the table, but my legs wouldn’t give way. Kihyun was already trailing behind his mother but realized I wasn’t following him. He looked back at me, a nervous smile stretching over his lips. 

“Honey, you coming?” He asked, dancing his eyes towards the table. 

I exchanged looks between Kihyun who seemed to be growing impatient with me and towards the table where his mother sat looking at me with a confused expression. My heart hitching its way inside my throat, I feel the wave of anxiety wanting to devour my very being. 

“Um, I think I’ll head to the bathroom first” I answered, a nervous smile now resting on my lips. 

I looked back at Kihyun, his eyes wide as he’s mouthing the words ‘what are you doing?’ at me. I shrugged as I send a pleading look towards his way. He lets his shoulders relax as he nods his head, allowing me permission.  Looking back at Kihyun’s mom I offer her the most convincing smile I could manage. 

“I’ll be right back” I said before making a dash towards the bathroom.

Keep it together, you got this, I told myself as I grabbed a hold of the granite sink top. It had been a long time since I had an anxiety attack to this severity. My breathing was becoming difficult as the pain in my chest grew. I was having a hard time getting enough air to go through me, my throat feeling like it was closing up, I closed my eyes in my attempts at calming myself. I forced myself to Imagine that I was alone, and that there was no reason to get so worked up over something so small, even though to me lying was a big thing, and a huge no-no. 

I opened my eyes to see the tears that were streaming down my face, ruining the makeup I had spent hours on. I looked like a raccoon, I had now managed to ruin everything. I couldn’t step back out there looking like this and pretending to act cool, they would both know something was up. 

I contemplated leaving, as I looked up at the window to the far right. I could sneak out and leave him here, but then I realized that my actions would be too childish and rude and too much like Kihyun’s. I needed to get myself together, maybe I could tell them that an emergency came up, or that I wasn’t feeling well or that maybe I had to gotten a call from work -

“Mina?” A voice came after a light knock on the door. 

I looked over at the door, watching as it slowly inched opened, revealing a very worried Kihyun. His eyes caught sight of me as he stood lingering by the entrance.  I quickly brought the heels of my hands to my eyes, wiping away the streaks of mascara that had smeared along the apples of my cheeks.

“Are you okay?” He asked, hesitating whether or not he should step into the women’s bathroom. 

“I’m fine” I answered, but I didn’t sound too convincing. 

I watched the way his eyebrow rose in curiosity.

“Are you crying?” He asked again, stepping into the bathroom

“No” I answered lowly,  before realizing what he’d done. Quickly checking under the stalls to make sure no one was inside. “ Kihyun, you’re in the women’s bathroom, you’re going to get in-” 

He cut me off as he walked towards me. 

“I don’t care” He said, observing my face. “Are you crying?”

I hesitated to answer him but the question made me get worked up again and tears came streaming down my face for a second time. Kihyun tensed at my reaction, unsure of what to do, he reached for me, pulling me into his chest for a tight embrace. The smell of cinnamon mixed in with earthy elements tickled my nose, somehow managing to calm my anxiety a bit. 

I tried to calm myself down and convince myself that this was no big deal, but I really felt terrible about the whole thing. I couldn’t do this, this wasn’t me. Unlike some people I actually had feelings and remorse.

“Kihyun” I whispered. 

“Hm? What is it?” He ran his hand through my hair, at his attempt to comfort me.

“I-I can’t do this” I finally spoke, pushing myself away from his chest. “This is too much. You’re asking too much of me” 

He stood quietly, not saying a single word as he looked at me. He saw the way tears were rolling down my face. He must have been thinking that I was pathetic for acting this way over something so small. But it wasn’t something small to me. I never liked liars, my past would be a contributor to that. He lets a disheartened sound escape his lips.

“Okay” He said. “We don’t have to do this. I can go back out there and tell her the truth and we can go home” 

“Really?” I asked brushing away the tears a second time. 

He seemed a little hesitant at first, but sent a smile my way. 

“Yes. It’s no big deal” 

“Are you sure?”  I asked a second time, needing the reassurance.

“Yes. I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do” He said  as he ran a hand through his coarse hair. Perhaps, he was thinking of a way to break the lie to his mother. A pang of uneasiness settled in my stomach once I realized that his mother would probably hate me after this. Not that it should matter since her son and I had no business or were actually together. “Plus, it’s my fault for being such an inconsiderate , I didn’t realize how much I was asking of you” 

I stood still, admiring Kihyun. This was the first time we had talked with each other on a genuine and emotional level. This time it didn’t involve avoiding any girls, apart from his poor innocent mother, but it was now I was realizing that he did have some feelings and consideration for others. 

“I’ll go tell her, i’ll come get you once it’s done” He said as he turned towards the door. 

I couldn’t help but feel a wave of sympathy for him, realizing what he was probably going to end up getting himself into. I thought about the disappointment on his mother’s face, and the betrayal she would feel after finding out that her son lied about something that she thought serious. I mentally kicked myself the moment the words came spilling out. 

“Kihyun, wait” I called out. 

He stopped just in front of the door, looking at me in a confused state. 

“What is it?” 

“I’ll do it” I answered. “I’ll play along”

He steps towards me again, bringing his hand against my arm.

“You really don’t have to, i’ll just tell her the truth, it’s really no big deal” He reassured me, but it was too late, my mind was already set.

I smiled as I extended my hand out towards him. He looked hesitant at first but returned the smile once he could tell that I was being sincere about doing this. I wrapped my hand in his, trying to ignore the warm fuzzy feeling that was bubbling inside my stomach. 

____________

Ordering a bottle of wine, I tried to let myself relax as I prepared for my acting gig. Don’t get me wrong, I still felt like complete and utter about having to do this to his mother, but I figured that he would eventually tell his mom that things didn’t work out between us and we would call off this fake engagement thing. 

Constantly telling myself that it was just for two hours, that’s all it was. Two long hours of lying through my teeth and trying to not get caught. It was no big deal, right?

“Is everything okay?” Mrs. Yoo asked noticing me battling with my thoughts.

I swallowed nervously as I looked over at Kihyun. He had refused to let go of my hand since we had come back from the bathroom. He had insisted that perhaps it would help me calm down when I began to feel panicked about the situation. I didn’t reject the idea because as much as I hated admitting it, it was somewhat helping me remain calm.

“Yes, everything is fine, Mrs. Yoo. Just a little stressed out with work” I answered. 

She lifted an eyebrow, I had finally managed to distract her for the time being.

“What is it you do for work, Mina?” 

I shifted nervously in my seat. Things were getting too personal, it had only been earlier today that Kihyun had found out what I did for a living. Being as we weren’t actually together I didn’t know if opening up about my personal life was a good idea. I debated whether or not I should tell her the truth or lie to her. Deciding that telling her at least one truth would be best as it would make me feel less guilty. 

“I’m a webtoon artist” 

“Interesting” She gawks my way. “Any work I’d be familiar with?”

“No, I haven’t published anything yet. I just got offered a two year contract” I replied.

Sneaking a sideways glance, I feel Kihyun’s eyes on me, studying me. This was news to him too. He knew that I was a webtoon artist, but he didn’t have any idea about the contract I had with Prism Publishing House as of two days ago.

“Oh, how lovely. You must be very good at drawing” She commented, her eyes suddenly focusing on her son. “Kihyun used to draw a lot when he was younger” 

“Mom..”Kihyun interjected her comment. 

I felt the way he awkwardly shifted in his seat at his mother bringing up his past. 

“He did?” I asked feeling intrigued at learning something about him. 

I would have never pictured Kihyun as someone who enjoyed to draw, because to be honest he only seemed to have one interest and that was women, but that just went to show just how little I actually knew about him. 

“He didn’t tell you?” She raised her eyebrow again. Feeling nervous that I might get caught in our game, I looked down at my wine glass, running my finger along the rim of the glass. “I’m surprised he didn’t mention it. He used to draw pictures all the time. He used to love it. But of course after his father passed away, he stopped” 

Kihyun squeezed  my hand at the mention of his dad. He had never opened up or mentioned the death of his father to me before. But to be fair, he never really talked about his personal life at all. I was just his saviour from bad decisions. I reached for my wine and brought it to my lips, feeling the tension growing at the dinner table. This was getting way too personal. 

“Don’t bring it up” Kihyun starts.  “it was a long time ago” he adds, his eyes sending a warning look towards his mother. It was evident that it was something that still bothered him to talk about.

She sighed a disheartened sound, as she served herself a glass of wine from the bottle I had ordered. 

“I was so surprised he actually showed up tonight” She started. “For the last six years he has been avoiding me” 

“Mom” Kihyun warned her, but she brushed him off as she set her wineglass on the table.

“My boy changed so much after his father passed away, I always worried that he was lonely” 

Lonely? I one hundred percent doubted that. I guess his mother didn’t know about his nightly guests that would come over to keep him ‘company’. 

“Please, this isn’t the place to be talking about this kind of stuff” He interjected once again. 

“No, it’s okay, please, continue” I reassured her, squeezing Kihyun’s hand to warn him to settle down. 

I knew that Kihyun and his mother didn’t have the best relationship out there, and I had to do everything possible to stop them from getting into a brawl like they had in his apartment a day ago.

Mrs. Yoo sent a reassuring smile my way, thanking me for being on her side rather than on her sons. 

She continues. “I was surprised that he was suddenly engaged, he’s never onced introduced me to any of his girlfriends before” 

I watched as Kihyun nervously swallowed the lump thats formed in his throat. Was Kihyun being nervous? This was unheard of. He was always cocky, not once ever giving me the impression that something like this would make him uncomfortable, not after the amount of times I had seen him half dressed. 

My mind rings back to what his mother had said about never meeting his girlfriend’s, I glared at him, hoping that he caught on that he was going to owe me big time. We were walking on thin ice here, one wrong comment from him could send the whole thing crashing down on us.

“You guys make such a lovely couple, I’m really happy to see that he has someone to keep him company” She continued. “One less thing to worry about. He seems like he’s finally found someone worth keeping around. You seem like such a smart and lovely girl” 

I felt my heart breaking at the words leaving Mrs. Yoo’s mouth. She honestly believed that we were together. She didn’t deserve this, I was really hoping that Kihyun would tell her that things didn’t work out between us as soon as possible. It was inhumane to be playing with someone’s emotions like this. 

“Thank you” I answered, feeling my cheeks turn a rosey pink at her compliment. 

“She’s very special to me” Kihyun commented out of nowhere, causing me to look at him. 

Shooting him a look, I mouthed the words ‘what are you doing?’ but he ignored me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. His mother watched with admiration at the way her son pulled me into him and placed a warm but gentle kiss on my forehead. I sat frozen in place, not understanding why he suddenly decided to do that. You had agreed that there would be no kind of physical contact of this sort. 

________

Walking up the stairs to our apartment, we walked in silence. I was still mentally beating myself up for what had just gone down at the restaurant. Shocked that I had made it through the whole two hours without slipping over my own tongue made me feel even worse. It was like lying was suddenly becoming something easy to me  and I didn’t like the thought of that at all. 

Stopping in front of my door, I jingled the keys in my hand. Kihyun stood behind me, running his hand along the back of his neck he looks down at me. 

“So..” His voice starts, and I wait for him to continue as I look back up at him. “Thanks for going along with it tonight” 

“No problem, just doing a favour for a neighbour” I replied, letting the keys dance through my fingers. 

He looked away, feeling the awkward tension between us as neither one of us knows what to say after everything that had gone down tonight. He cleared his throat before returning his gaze back to me. 

“You really saved my back here, she was looking at setting me up on a blind date” He laughed. 

Kihyun, on a blind date? That was something ridiculous to think about. He wasn’t the kind of guy to do relationships. He wasn’t one to follow through with commitment, the idea danced along my mind as a soft chuckle escapes my lips. 

“You owe me big time”  I answered, and he nodded in agreement. He knew that I had outdid myself tonight, going out of my comfort zone just to protect his . “Please tell your mom that things didn’t work out between us, I’ll feel horrible if we keep this going for long” 

“Don’t worry, give it about a week or so before I tell her” 

“Thanks” I smiled, turning around and unlocking my door. I’m startled by his hand grabbing onto my wrist. 

“Mina…” He said my name causing me to look back at him. 

My eyes looked into his brown eyes, there’s some sort of emotion in them that I can’t quite decipher, becoming completely engulfed by his eyes, I fight to look away but can’t the moment he pushes himself against me with my back against my partially opened front door. 

He stares at me, as his eyes surveyed my face. He runs his hand through my long slick hair, causing my heart to trampoline it’s way up and down in my chest. I feel my cheeks turning hot at his sudden close proximity to my face. No, I shouldn’t be feeling this way about him, he’s a boy and is only after one thing. Don’t be that girl, Mina. I repeat to myself over and over again.

Panicking, I manage to push the door open far enough to let myself step inside my apartment. My eyes wide in shock at what is happening. I quickly let words escape my lips. 

“Goodnight!” I call out to Kihyun as I slam the door in his face. 

With my heart beating it’s way up to my throat, I hear his feet shifting against the floor in the hallway. There’s silence for a while, but I know that he’s still out there because I’m looking at him through the peep hole. He looks troubled, like he’s battling his own thoughts, almost gasping the moment he looks into the peephole, I stop myself from freaking out when I realize he can’t see me. 

“Goodnight, Mina. I promise I won’t bother you anymore” He says before walking away to his apartment and letting the door close behind him.