a/n: in case you missed the foreword, this is my take on a hanahaki x chouhaki storyline - no one-sided love here, just applying the idea of the disease that causes coughing out of flower petals/butterflies. think of it as a form of terminal illness or something like that. and it is angst. now on to the story! :)

"Babe, I'm home!"

The tall young man kicks his shoes off his feet in haste as he attempts to keep his balance, one hand closing the front door shut while holding a bag full of groceries on the other.

A slight breeze sneaks into his home just before the door closes shut and blows past Sungyeol. He manages to take his shoes off in time to regain his balance on both feet before hurriedly covering his mouth as he lets out a fairly strong sneeze thanks to the intruding cold air. Retracting his hand, the tall man finds a cluster of pink cherry blossom petals gathered on the centre of his palm.

He knows it's a sign. It's a sign that his own condition isn't getting better, but neither is Myungsoo's. His boyfriend is in a much worse state than he is, so he determines he can't afford to be thinking about himself right now. Not until the other's condition shows signs of improvement. Fist tightly clenched in an attempt to obliterate the sickeningly sweet-looking part of a flower that shouldn't be coming from inside his body now in his hand, Sungyeol takes a deep breath before roughly shoving them in his pocket and steps further into his home.

Once inside, he notices the house is unsually silent for a weekend. It's as silent as when he had left for the supermarket a few hours ago, but that's because it was only nine o'clock then, at least a good hour or so before Myungsoo would usually wake up. It's almost one in the afternoon now.

Myungsoo must be really tired so he's sleeping in, Sungyeol thinks.

He recalls the other having been so sick and unwell Sungyeol had to have him restricted to their bed for the past three days with the exception of answering nature's call. Myungsoo wasn't permitted to leave the bed unless the other was with him, and Sungyeol naturally appointed himself to be Myungsoo's personal butler-slash-caretaker. But Myungsoo's condition hasn't improved; if anything, it's gotten worse, judging from his pallid complexion and increasingly violent coughing fits as the days passed. Sungyeol's mind wanders to the glass container he had kept in a secluded corner of the couple's back garden. Just a week ago it was a spacious home to only one beautiful blue butterfly; now it's filled with butterflies of pretty hues of aquas and blues to the extent that it looks more like a magical colour-changing block instead of the transparent container it's supposed to be. He's going to have to buy a bigger home for these beautiful creatures soon.

I'll wake him up when brunch is ready. Sungyeol proceeds to preparing his lover's favourite Sungyeol's Specialty Breakfast for him.

(It's just honey-glazed bacon with butter waffles, but whatever makes Myungsoo happy.)

The food's ready in a little less than half an hour, and Sungyeol's just putting everything together on a plate before setting it on a tray to bring to his currently bedridden boyfriend. He knocks on the door when he arrives at the front of their shared bedroom with the tray of food in his hands.

"Myungsoo, are you awake? I've made some food for you. It's your favourite," Sungyeol calls in a cheery tone, hoping to hide the underlying paranoia in him.

Usually, the other would have given some sort of reply especially at the mention of food, but Sungyeol is only greeted with silence. The unnerving feeling in his gut is only becoming more prominent as each soundless second pass. Something's not right.

Grabbing the doorknob with a shaky hand - Why am I shaking? - Sungyeol hesitantly opens the room door and takes a timid peek inside, praying that the image of Myungsoo in his head (awake or still asleep, regardless, but still alive) would be true.

"Myungsoo...?"

Wide doe eyes scan the room. It's still as neat as always. Everything is still in its rightful place. Their shared queen-sized bed is not made. The bed is empty.

The bed's empty.

Myungsoo's not there.

Sungyeol almost drops the tray of food in panic, but manages to set it on the bedside table instead.

He finds the drawer at the bedside table ajar, the one that's usually locked with a key hidden in his pillow now open with the head of the key sticking out of the keyhole. That's not the only thing he notices, though. The box containing his petals are not there.

After a quick (frantic) scan across the room he finds the box open and empty on the bed, the pale pink petals sparsely spaced and leading out of the room. It doesn't take him long to realise it's a trail, though he wonders how he never noticed them at all earlier on the way. Sungyeol follows the trail, picking up each petal and placing them back in the box as he goes.

The more petals he collects the more the unsettling feeling grows in him. One more corner and he finds the trail leading to the back garden. It's a small glass dome, a greenhouse that's home to more species of flora than Sungyeol's age. It's the couple's favourite place in their home, the pair having decided on building one because Myungsoo thought nothing could be more romantic than to spend the last moments of their lives together among a sea of beautiful flora. It wasn't easy to keep the greenhouse going at first, but over time they both had gotten the hang of things and made it into their very own secret garden.

Sungyeol continues following the trail leading to the garden, picking up the last of the petals outside of the glass dome and placing them into his box.

He finds another small pile of familiar-looking pink petals, the last of his petals he had kept, along with the container of butterflies and a letter, all gathered at the very centre of the garden. He spots four, five turqoise-coloured butterflies fluttering around the items in the centre.

That dreaded feeling, his heart pounding. Not in excitement, but in fear. His mind starts formulating possible scenarios and reasons as to why he's seeing what he's seeing, and he hopes that this one particular hypothesis he's come up with isn't true.

Picking up the letter, he sees it's addressed to him, obviously written by Myungsoo. The penmanship isn't as neat as it usually is, it's a little more unstable but doesn't lose its characteristics that allow one to easily distinguish the unique font-like handwriting that is Myungsoo's. Sungyeol hasn't even read anything yet - hasn't even opened the letter yet - and tears are already pooling in his chocolate brown eyes.

He lets out a breath he doesn't realise he'd been holding, opens the letter and begins processing the contents.

To Sungyeol

By the time you're reading this, you probably won't be able to see me anymore.

I'm sorry I hadn't told you everything earlier. I didn't want you to worry about me when you already have your own problems to deal with. I didn't want to be a burden to you, so I never told you the truth.

But you found out eventually, and I'm glad you did. I wouldn't have had the strength or courage to break it to you anyway.

Thank you for everything you've given me. For all the memories, all the laughter, the tears, the pain and joy, the times we spent together. You took away so many firsts in my life - my first date, first love, first kiss, first touch, first romantic getaway, first valentine's, first heartbreak - the list goes on. I really can't thank you enough. I wouldn't have wanted to spend these moments with any other person but you, which is why I couldn't be happier that you're my first, and also my last.

Remember why we built this garden? I said I wanted us to spend our last moments together in here. I'm here now and I can't stay much longer, but you're not here yet. It's a pity I probably won't be able to see you, hold you or kiss you for one last time, but I guess it's better this way. You won't have to see me in pain, and I won't have to see you shed another tear. You know how much I hate seeing you cry.

You look the prettiest when you smile that sweet, blinding smile of yours. Have I ever told you that? Maybe I have, I don't remember. But now you know. I love your smile. You have no idea how easily it makes someone's day, not just mine. Promise me you'll keep smiling for me?

I love you, Sungyeol. I love you so much you don't even know.
Or maybe you do.
But   that's  not  the   point
  You'll    always     be    in my      heart
     and     I'll     always     be        in     yours
  I        lov e

The letter ends with noticeable tear stains almost completely dried up at the bottom of the paper, some of it slightly smudging the last words in the process.

Not that the letter was actually finished to begin with.

A stray pen extended from the last 'e' to the paper's edge, a sign that Myungsoo had left before he could finish the last of his final words to his love. Myungsoo wasn't even given the chance to wholly convey what was now the last profession of love in his life. Sungyeol vaguely makes out the blurred shape of a pen lying among the bed of cherry blossom petals beside his feet through clouded vision.

A fresh drop of tear lands on one of the drying spots, remoistening the paper once again.

His hands begin to tremble, crumpling the paper in the process. He knows he's crying. He doesn't feel the tears running down his face, instead he feels a lightheadedness on top of the constant dull ringing in his ears deterring him from feeling the physical effects of his emotions. Sungyeol's eyes are bloodshot and puffy, he can tell. Not from the feeling of the puffy eyes, but how the constant floodgates tranform his vision into one big blur. One blink and another fresh batch of salty liquid comes rolling down his cheeks.

The world around him begins to spin. He hears his own sobs becoming more erratic by the second. He tries to calm down but he can't help it; his lungs seem to be failing on him, making him gasp harder and harder for air. The throbbing and numbness in his head doesn't help alleviate the situation he's in as it only grows more unbearable by the minute.

Sungyeol's legs give out on him as he falls on the ground among the bed of his own petals. As if the growing lack of oxygen taking a toll on his lungs isn't enough, an incoming wave of coughs attack him like a massive punch to his chest. Pretty pink petals fly out of Sungyeol's mouth with each cough, fluttering to the ground and joining the now growing pile. The letter falls from his grasp as he opts for one hand over his mouth in a futile attempt to surpress the coughing fits, the other clutching desperately at his chest to just make it stop.

Or maybe I should let it take me away. Maybe it can take me to Myungsoo. 

He's lying on the ground by now, mouth still spewing the sickening petals from within him. Sungyeol feels the energy being sapped from his body by a mysterious force as he continues gasping for air between coughs, growing weaker.

Mustering all the energy he can before it's too late, Sungyeol grabs for the box of butterflies next to him, struggling a fair bit to release the catch and setting the butterflies free before falling back flat on the petalbed.

A myriad of blues and greens mix and swirl before Sungyeol's eyes as the little creatures hover above him. They remind him of Myungsoo, how the latter would always go for colours that remind him of the sea at Jeju during their first vacation together whenever black wasn't allowed. How the colours reminded him of how Sungyeol loved the beach and the ocean, how it was the place they shared their first kiss, how everything reminded Myungsoo of Sungyeol, and now reminding him of Myungsoo. Sungyeol lets himself get lost in the strangely hypnotizing swirl of gorgeous colours, coughing once, twice more.

A smile lingers on his face as the pain finally begins to go away, releasing one last shaky breath before his world fades to black.

I'm coming for you, Myungsoo.

A small glass dome housing the most beautiful of flowers that for some reason doesn't seem to lose its vibrance over time, and a kaleidoscope of butterflies the only other form of life that seems to keep the image of the place alive. Scattered petals of cherry blossom that seem to sparkle when sunlight hits, emanating a mysterious yet magical vibe to the garden.

One whose love was sweet like flowers, another the love that creates flutters in the heart of another. Wherever one goes, the other follows - even beyond the span of life.

Come what may, two lovers that will never part,
like little stars shining in the sky, till the end of time.

And they live forever, in their secret garden that no one will ever know.