The fan-meeting went fine. I hardly spoke or did anything, but everyone else had an amazing time. They all interacted politely, and the camera clicks and flashes were back. It felt like it was going on forever, but it's probably because I hardly did anything.

"It looked fun." I say sitting down on the sofa, playing around with my crutches that I now hardly use. "You guys had a good time, it looked like."

"Of course it was fun. And of course we did. We always have fun when it comes to interacting with the fans or performing for them." YoonGi says, walking to the kitchen.

"If you were able to properly walk, you'd probably enjoy it too. You were always the one who did the crazy stuff to humor the fans." Jimin says, laughing after. "You really did know the way to their hearts."

"You know, it's kind of weird hearing you guys talk like you really know me, when I have no idea who any of you are." I tell them. They all stopped what they were doing, and looked over at me; even YoonGi that had just walked back from the kitchen.

I saw the pain in their eyes, and I immediately regret what I said. TaeHyung hung his head low, and started rubbing the cast on his arm. YoonGi quietly walked over to the bathroom. And HoSeok smiled as I looked over at him, but failed at hiding how forced it was and how hurt he was.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay." NamJoon says, reaching his hand out and patting me on the shoulder. "We understand."

I nod my head and scratch the back of my neck, feeling a bit awkward. Even though I feel nothing significant towards them, I mean a lot to them. Just because I forgot who they are completely, doesn't mean they have forgotten who I am.

Practice the next day irritated me. I knew how the songs went, and I knew how to both rap and sing to them, but at times when the practices turned into actual seriousness, I'd blank out and forget everything, even where I had to stand.

I ruffled my hair furiously, groan, and walk over to the back of the room. I felt so irritated and annoyed with myself and practice, that I ended up punching the wall with the side of my fists, to just let out everything that was building inside of me. I didn't understand why I was this irritated. I even felt like yelling.

"Kookie!" Jimin yells, running over to me. I shake my head at him.

"I can't. I can't. I can't. I'm sorry, but no matter how hard I try I will never get this down!" I yell.

"Kookie." HoSeok calls.

"Stop calling me that!" I shout at him. He froze, shocked by my sudden burst. Both Jimin and him backed up a little, and I shake my head again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I say, my voice cracking from random tears forming in my eyes. I felt someone come and hug me from the side, rubbing my shoulders, and I broke down completely not fully understanding why.

"I just can't. It's too much. I'm not able to. I don't want to. How did I do this? I can't." I say quickly, trying to catch my breath. I lean into the chest of the person holding me, and I let him rub my back. It was quiet in the room, and my unexplained breakdown was all anyone could hear.

About a few minutes later, when I have calmed down, I'm sitting against the wall with NamJoon, who was the one that was holding me and still is.

"You okay now?" he asks.

"Stop treating me like a kid." I say quietly. He chuckles and everyone else comes towards us when they see I'm calmed down.

"You're the youngest, so we do sometimes." he says. He lets go of me and stands up, gently pulling me up with him. "But seriously, are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I got so angry. I felt like it was too far for just  not remembering the routine." I say.

"Maybe it was just because you didn't remember the routine." Jin says. "You were always a perfectionist."

"This is irritating me. Why can't I remember you guys?! Or any of this. I'm trying so hard since I'm living with you all, but nothing. Nothing!" I say, pulling on my hair.

"Yah, yah, yah. Calm down." NamJoon says, putting his hand on my shoulder. I sighed and nodded my head. "It's not your fault, okay? You have amnesia. As much as we all want you to remember us in a blink of an eye, we all know it's not going to happen. As much as we want you back, it's not going to magically happen overnight."

"Maybe we're not doing enough to jerk some memory." TaeHyung says.

"It's only been two weeks TaeHyung. That's not a lot of time in itself." Jimin says.

"Well, what if my memory never comes back? Huh? The doctor told my mom that in rare cases, the memory never ever comes back." I add in.

"Well, you're not going to be that rare case, okay?" YoonGi says, saying it as if he's 100% sure.

"Say what you want. Say what you want." I'm singing to myself, backstage before we go up and perform.

"Hey, sounding good there." Jin comes up to me with such a huge smile. It made me feel relaxed. I returned the smile and he pats me on the back.

"You'll enjoy it."

"What?" I ask.

"Performing. Even though you're not dancing like usual, you'll have fun. I know you're kind of in the spotlight right now, since you're places are mostly in the middle or the front, but it'll be great. You can dance, that's why you're up front." he says.

"Don't say that. You can dance too, hyung." I tell him. He starts to smile again, and then he walks away.

15 minutes later, we go on stage to perform. As soon as we stepped on stage, I saw big recording cameras everywhere, and fans filling up the area. I realized that this wasn't a performance for just the fans who are attending, but for a show. We were going to be recorded.

I looked over at HoSeok, and he noticed the expression on my face. He winks at me and then nods, mouthing the words "You can do this".

We started. The song played and I moved my arm that wasn't holding the microphone, so it looked like I did some dancing. On the other hand, TaeHyung was just bouncing his body around since he can't quite move his arm.

Throughout the whole performance, I sang and rapped it all. Not once did I mouth the lyrics, pretending to sing. I was surprised at myself that I didn't ended up blanking out, like how I usually did during practice.

"Guys, we need to talk." our manager says as soon as we stepped off the stage. We followed him into a room and he stared at us for a while, and then glanced over at me.

"So, apparently ever since you guys started working again, your fans have been complaining about how horrible it is that you only got two weeks of rest. They didn't like how TaeHyung had to do events still in a cast, and Jungkook with his crutches. Since this performance is live, as soon as you stepped on stage and started performing, there weren't just complaints from your fans, other people have been curious as well. People kept speaking about how sad it was that TaeHyung had to perform with a broken arm, and Jungkook had to not dance because his leg isn't fully healed." he tells us. We all stood there quietly, not knowing how to respond. He sighs and the scratches his head.

"And I'm sorry to tell you this, because I know how much you all love your fans and would push yourselves to please them, but we're putting you on a longer break. We're going to announce it and not give a specific amount of time it'll take. We'll just continue your guys' work when you're fully healed. It's good for your health, and it would please your fans, even though they'll probably be sad at the fact you're going back to a break."

"We understand." NamJoon says for us all. We nodded our heads, and I sighed in relief to myself.

"I'm sorry. But, now you can go back home and rest. And, enjoy your break. But remember, as soon as TaeHyung and JungKook can go back to doing their jobs, you're off break." our manager says. We nodded our heads again, and walks off saying that he'll be waiting in the van.

"I hate this but he has a point. It'll look bad if we continue and everyone sees that TaeHyung and Jungkook aren't fully healed." Jimin says.

I looked at everyone, and they all seemed sad at the idea that they'll have to be on break. Even TaeHyung, who has his arm in a cast, looks like he doesn't want this break. I started feeling guilty and selfish, being the only one relieved and glad that we're getting a break. A longer break too.

It's probably the only chance they'll have at living a normal life, not having to deal with practicing or performing. They're now able to rest and go around, acting like everyone else. And even though this perfect opportunity has been given to them, none of them seems glad about it at all. It confuses me, why they all seem so gloomy.

All I know is that I'm glad we're not going to be doing any of this idol stuff for quite a while now.