It’s all lies! ✘ Meanie

ft. Soulmate!AU

Word Count: 3178

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Mingyu would be lying if he say that he's not excited — exhilarated even — to meet his other half, his soulmate. He didn't try to look at other people, he's fixed to the idea that his soulmate must be the only person he'd ever love in his whole life. And he's succeeded in doing so– no, well he's doing great but he won't dare call it success as he haven't found his soulmate yet.

He stood straight as his hair went with the wind's flow. Mingyu took in the scenery in front of his eyes, the rise of the sun, with a very huge smile plastered on his face. Even though he cannot appreciate his surroundings to the fullest because his eyes can only take in different shades of black and gray’s, he still can't help the tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.

Just two hours left, two hours and it's finally gonna happen, he thought. He waited for this day, the day he turn 18 years old and the day he'll finally meet the other half of his soul. The hand that's holding a now cold cup of coffee is shaking non-stop, mirroring the slight tremble of his gray pupils but he didn't move nor dare blink. It's getting late but who cares? He waited for years! Waiting for a few hours under the cold wind of the night is like breathing.

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An hour left. And he can't help when his whole body shook with uncontrollable happiness. Random passerbys look at him weirdly but he's too elated to care. The smile on his face not faltering, as he can hardly wait for the moment when his eyes turn blue.

Blue.

It symbolizes that you found your other half.

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The clock hit 12 and his heart wanted to get out of his chest. It was time, and he knew his soulmate would find him any minute now. He's shifting on his place, eyes moving around relentlessly. And even though it was freezing cold, beads of sweat was forming at the top of his head.

A ball hit his leg, startling him.

He stared at it as he tilt his head in confusion. He blinked while pixking up the said ball. It was a soccer ball. Is the ball his soulmate? He shook his head, no that can't be. . .right? 

Shaking he fished his phone out of his jean's pocket, opening the front cam and looking at his eyes. Sighing when he realized that it's still gray. Relief wash over him as his tensed muscle relaxed.

“Uh, can I have my ball?”

His eyes shot open as he stared at the guy in front of him. What kind of ball– he almost said when he realized what he's holding. Grinning shyly he stepped forward to give the ball back to it's owner. He took his time to check the guy out, he was hot. The guy's wearing an white earmuff over his black beanie. His sleeve a bit longer than his arm creating a very cute handpaw, as Mingyu would word it. The guy's eyes was beautiful, it was sharp and intimidating, unlike Mingyu's which was probably as soft and sweet as pudding. 

“Here. . .” he muttered, ears reddening from something he don't know. The butterflies in his stomach creating chaos on his body but he tried not to take off the stupid smile on his face. He probably looked like he have diarrhea. 

Their hands touched and suddenly, Minguu's world was filled with different colors. Completely changing the monochrome world he's lives his whole life seeing. It was beyond beautiful. His eyes widening and his pupils dilating from the sudden burst of emotion he didn't knew he had. His mouth hang open as he look at the other guy.

“You. . .” He whispered, breathless. “It's you. . .”

Happiness spread through every pore of Mingyu's body as he strode his way to fill the small gap between him and the guy. “I'm Mingyu, Kim Mingyu. Your soulmate.” He smiled at the guy while holding out his hand.

He tried hard not to tackle the guy into a bear hug as he won't want him to run away from him. He wanted to give off a good first impression, at least. His whole face as flushed red as a tomato while his heart pounded hard in his chest. Who wouldn't be as excited as Kim Mingyu when all you've ever dream was looking at your soulmate's blue eyes, full of love and adoration? Who wouldn't be so elated to know that the person you'll love for yhe rest of your life, the person who will love you the same, is in front of you?

The guy smiled and took his hand, but something was off. He wouldn't look at him in the eye. He wanted to see the ocean blue his mother would talk about but he controlled the urge to lift his soulmate's face. He's probably just shy, and Mingyu can't help but think that was cute. 

“Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo.”

But disappointment soon washed over Mingyu as his face fell when Wonwoo opened his mouth one more. He can see the slight hesitation in Wonwoo's face but it was filled with determination. “I'm sorry but I can't. I'm inlove with someone else. I'm sorry.” He said with voice dripping with guilt. Mingyu kept his smile as he bit his lower lip hard, tears streaming on his cheeks.

Wonwoo finally lifted his face to look at him straight in the eye and Mingyu can just hear his soul breaking into million tiny pieces. What greeted his sight wasn't the blue color he's dreaming of. It wasn't the blue his mother used to tell him. 

It was black.

The sign of one sided love.

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Wonwoo wasn't that focused on topics regarding soulmates ever since. He wasn't the least bit interested in finding his so called other half. It all sounded like bull in his ear. He doesn't like being dictated to, so he rebelled against fate.

“The system's bull, you can't just partner me on some stranger I haven't met! You can't tell me who I will love, and who I will spend my whole life with!” Wonwoo shouted at his parents the first time they told him the stories about soulmates. It's true he envied his parent's blue eyes — or so they say cause he can't see an ounce of color in them. He envied the fact that they tell him the existence of colors, in which he liked his mother's description of red the most but he wasn't fixated on getting it.

He get looks of disapproval, mockery, yhrown insults at, and it gets to the point where he's being bullied because he just doesn't see the point of the soulmate system. There he met his bestfriend, the guy he unexpectedly fell in love with — Wen Junhui.

He was sweet, caring and most of all, he protected him and comforted him when he needed most. See? I don't need soulmates to love. He mocked in his thought. Junhui was the only kid in their school that have hsd ever approached him. He's the only kid to ever talk to him without a hint of mockery. 

“I hate the system. I want to love freely.” He whined one day in which Junhui chucked at. Wonwoo glanced at Jun laughing, and he can't help but study his face. The way his eyes sparkle against the sunrays, the way he crunched his nose when he laugh, the way he pout his lips when he's sulking. Everything about him was perfect, and Wonwoo knew he don't need his soulmate to feel.

“I wish I could too. So that I can love you.” Wonwoo was shocked at the sudden confession but he won't deny that his heart beated so fast he even thought he'd be on cardiac arrest. His face flushed red but a sweet smile slowly etched on his lips.

“Promise?” He offered his pinky finger, the sweet smile still lingering on his face. Jun returned the smile with a peck on his lips.

“Promise.”

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But Wonwoo was soon slapped in the face by the harsh reality. He realized that promised are meant to be broken and the they cannot get away with the system.

It was when they're in second year of high school, when things between them started to change. He felt Jun slowly drifting apart but he can't do anything. He can feel the slow crumbling of their tower called relationship. He can fee Jun falling out of love. And he can feel the gaping hole in his chest slowly coming back, as if to mock him even more.

They both knew their relationship can't be saved anymore. They're slowly falling apart. Slowly breaking. But they never had it in them to ask for a break up. They're a coward when the push comes to shove. 

“You promised me. . .” Wonwoo was choking on his tears. Different kind of emotions stuck on his throat as he look at his lover's eyes. It was a different shade than what he remembered.

“I'm sorry.” was all Jun could say as he hold another guy's waist tighter. Wonwoo laughed at himself as he look at the couple in front of him. He found him, his soulmate. He knew the moment he saw their eyes, they're in love with each other. And who was he to break them apart? Who was he to try and rebel against the system called fate? He's just someone who doesn't believe in the bull called love. He used to, but not anymore.

๏╭╮๏

Years after the tragic end of Wonwoo's trial to end the system's dictation to his life, he was now 19 years old. Still aloof and alone. The gaping hole was yet to be filled. But he's determined to ckose his heart and shut off whoever it was that was destinied to him.

He still believes that he has the right to love whoever he wanted to. That he could choose the person he would spend his whole life with. Nothing has changed, except his relationship with Jun and his opinion about love.

Jun was now happily in a relationship with his soulmate, whom Wonwoo remembered as someone named Minghao. He won't deny the fact that they fit like perfect puzzle piece, but he won't admit it either. He's still bitter over his spoilt relationship, yes. Very. He still love Jun, but he's genuinely happy for his ex-bestfriend. Isn't that how love works? Sacrifices and all. They act like strangers but will still smile at one another whenever they pass by each other but they cannot go back to being bestfriends, and they both know that. 

But it still broke Wonwoo apart.

Was love supposed to hurt like this? Was it supposed to drain you like the way it did with him? Wasn't it supposed to make him feel safe and sound? He knew what he wanted, and it wasn't his soulmate. He wanted another soul, but sadly, Jun wasn't destinied to be his. And will never be. In this life, or in another. 

It was 11:45 PM when he decided to go on a walk. It's dangerous, he know but he just doesn't care anymore. He wanted to breath fresh air. He's been suffocating himself in his bedroom for days — or even weeks of weeping. He wanted to end the pain and loneliness but he's not yet ready to let go of his love for his bestfriend. Sadly.

With a soccer ball on his hand, he walked to wherever his feet would take him. It was a park, he frowned as he took in his surroundings. He let go of the ball and kicked it, but it seems like he kicked it a little harder than what he expected. He sigh as he watvhed the ball fly to somewhere. Why is life always disappointing him? 

And so he searched for the ball, which wasn't that hard because he felt something pulling him. Somewhere. As his eyes saw a silhouette standing in front of the railings, holding his ball and a phond to his face in confusion, his heart beat fasten at an abnormal rate. 

His cheeks flushed and excitement he never knew he can feel burst through his chest, making him whimper in pain silently as to not startle the guy. 

“Uh, can I have my ball?” But he still startled the guy anyway. The guy's eyes that Wonwoo never realized were closed flutter open as his head shot in his direction. He fidgeted in his place and his heart beat won't calm down. And at the bsck of his mind, he knew. He knew what this all means but he still fight the urge to run towards the guy and hug him tightly. He refused to let the system get the better of him.

He knew he could do it.

“Here. . .” the guy muttered under his breath but it was enough for Wonwoo to hear. His cheeks flushed a deeper red when he heared the guy's voice which was dripping with honey. He even thought he heard adoration in his voice. But he managed to the thought oit of his mind. As he reached for his ball, their hand touched and Wonwoo swear he felt fireworks go off as his sight took in different variety of colors. He shivered at the touch.

But he did it.

His head hang low as guilt was slowly eating him. “You. . .” he even heared the guy whisper. “You're. . .” I am, but I'm sorry for what I will do. He silently said.

“I'm Mingyu. Kim Mingyu. Your soulmate.” Wonwoo was shocked when a hand was suddenly in front of his face, he slowly lifted his face but still refused to look at Mingyu's eyes. He felt his chest constrict at the love dripping on Mingyu's voice. It was killing him.

He forced a smile and silently hoped it didn't look to fake or forced as he reavhed out to shook Mingyu's hand. “Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo.” He introduced himself.

“I'm sorry but I can't. I'm inlove with someone else. I'm sorry.” and he dropped the bomb as he looked at Mingyu in the eye. It was blue, deep ocean blue, looking at him with pain. Intense pain. Excruciating pain. 

It was hard for Wonwoo to look at Mingyu's sweet smile change into a trembling one. He bit his lips as to not make any sound as he tried hard not to let the smile fade. It was there, but Wonwoo wished it wasn't. It was hurting him too. After a minute or two, it seems like Mingyu snapped out of it. His expression still painted with pain but his blue eyes shone with understanding and love.

“I– I understand.” He said almost breathless. Mingyu's lips now bleeding under his teeth. He it and gulped with difficultly. “I understand, Wonwoo. I'm sorry.” The taller said as he lower his face down to Wonwoo. The latter's pupils trembling at the sudden closeness. The former's breath fanning on his face.

“I'm sorry. Just once, please.” And Wonwoo can only see himself nodding. There's just something in the taller's tone that made him unable to say no. Probably the pain and constantly cracking of his voice. Or the melancholic and tragic flow of his words. Whatever it is Wonwoo doesn't know.

He closed his eyes at the same time their lips touched. It was warm, Wonwoo thought. And he can feel the hole in his chest filling up, but before he can even deepen the kiss, Mingyu backed away. And suddenly, he felt empty.

“Goodbye, Wonwoo. It's nice meeting you.”

He kept his eyes close as streams of countless tears flows out of his socket. He heared the echo of Mingyu's footsteps fading into the distance. And he felt countless needles poking through his heart.

He never felt so alone.

He suddenly missed those deep blue eyes.

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Wonwoo woked up with a pounding head, probably from drinking until he passed out for the last two weeks. It felt so lonely. And for the first time, he wanted to feel some company. But whenever he tried to get laid, he felt this intense emotion filling his chest. He felt like he's betraying Mingyu.

He, unfortunately, found out last week that his eyes turned blue. He didn't win his fight. He fell. Hard. Why didn't he just accept the fate given to him? Mingyu was perfect, and he fill Wonwoo's emptiness. But he chose to broke the guy. He chose to hurt him.

He tried to find him again, only to back out the last minute. He was scared— no, he's frightened. What if Mingyu doesn't want him anymore? What if he found someone else? What if's filled his sorry head. The what if's that he knew at the back of his mind will never happen. Mingyu loves him, but he just can't bring himself to admit it.

He used alcohol to forget everything. Those ocean blue eyes that looked at him with adoration and love, the look he haven't seen even on Jun. He tried to forget the kiss, but can't. He can still feel the warmth it gave him. And the pain in his chest whenever the image of Mingyu crying resurface on his mind. 

He quit school, quit work, quit everything to lock himself in his room and drown himself in alcohol that doesn't even help. He knew his parents are getting worried, but he's too hurt to care. And he knew it was his fault why he's feeling this way in the first place. He was there, Mingyu. But he chose to shut him off. He chose to push him away. And he's regretting it.

But he's a coward.

Even though he knew Mingyu will accept him, fix him, care for him, love him like no one else, he can't bring it in himself to accept it. He was fixated on the fact that the soulmate system was bull. He still think so anyway, but he knew he want Mingyu back in his life. He want him back, but Wonwoo is stubborn. He refuse to make an effort to fix this. He refuse to make an effort to get Mingyu back 

Because he's a coward.

As he groggily walk to his bathroom to wash himself and take the alcohol away. He stared at the mirror, he stared at his reflection as the realization dawn on him. His lips trembled and his knees turned into jelly. It changed. His eye colors changed. Wonwoo suddenly felt regrets washing over him, the what-if's drowning him.

It was the color he loved to hear from his mother's story. The color he most wanted to see. But not like this.

Deep red.

It means the death of your other half.

F I N

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— I did it, aren't I? ( TДT) I actually finished it even though it's probably not good enough because I still need to practice my English :3