You got in the car, tired from you adventure at the farmers market with Kyu Jong, yet now you were going to the carnival with HyungJoon.  The rest of ss501 was also going as well.

For the car ride, you sat in between Youngsaengie and HyungJoon. Youngsaengie looked away from your gaze and stared out the window. You sighed, whatever you did, whenever you did it, it was always wrong to Youngsaengie. You then felt a head plop down on your shoulder. Turning to the side, you looked at a sleepy HyungJoon smiling. That kid was such a clown.

In front of you sat HyunJoong, JungMin, and Kyu Jong. They were talking about how it had been so long since they had gone to an amusement park.

"Oh remember that one time when HyungJoon got his head stuck in the cotton candy maker?"

Hyungjoon jumped up in defense. "Yah! It wasn't my fault! The cottoncandy was blue...and that's my favorite color. Besides remember when JungMin fell off the teacups ride!"

Everyone chuckled and pointed at JungMin. They talked about their funny experiences from the amusement park. Some were hilarious while others were just plain embarrassing. They asked you for a funnyexperience and you looked up, back from your own world.

"I--I've never been to an amusement park..."

"Bwoh?!"

"Chincha?"

"Wow. Never? Why?"

You couldn't reply. Those memories of tour childhood were nice ones, but remembering them reminded you of what your life wasn't now. Your eyes became red and you looked away to avoid them seeing you this way.

Youngsaengie saw you and spoke, "Leave her alone."

The guys were about to say something but then when they heard Youngsaengie in, they knew he meant business. Youngsaengie wasn't the kind of guy to speak up for anyone--only sometimes he would for the rest of the guys, but only them. You laid your head on Youngsaengie's shoulder and shut your eyes, falling to a deep slumber.

Youngsaengie smiled and patted your head. He looked up into the eyes of the other boys, sensing their suspicions. "What?"

"Uh nothing..." The other boys shrugged and looked away, trying to appear like as if they didn't care.

The car bumped, making you jump, but you were still asleep. Your head swayed to the sides, ending up on HyungJoon's shoulder. His eyes danced at seeing you fall onto him. Youngsaengie frowned and was about to reach his hand to roll you back to him, but then stopped himself.

"I call ____ as my partner!" HyungJoon rose his arm smiling.

"What?"

"Noo..."

"Wait--what?!"

Youngsaengie looked up and shrugged. "Alright then. I get Kyu Jong."

"Wait who said I wanted to be with you?" Kyu Jong crossed his arms and whined.

Youngsaengie said, "Shut it."

JungMin smiled then, "That leaves me with HyunJoong! Boy, we are going to have some jolly good fun!"

"JungMin, remember no horsing around!" HyunJoong chuckled. They always referred JungMin to a horse since he loved carrots.

You dreamt of him again. He was holding your hand and guiding you to a garden filled with roses and other flowers. You were smiling and laughing beside him. He then tugged you farther, pulling you to somewhere you had never been to before. You were then pushed to the floor and his hand let go of yours.

It, it was as if you were falling down a huge hole that there was no end to.

You didn't want to fall--you wanted to be on your feet and you wanted him beside you.

Your arms wrapped around someone's waist and you buried your head in someone's neck. A tear fell down your eye and you started to sob quietly.

HyungJoon's eyes widened at feeling your embrace and he became worried at hearing your sobs. "Kwenchana?" He shook you awake and wiped the tears from your eyes.

You fell back, onto Youngsaengie. You were confused, lost. What had just happened...? Had that really been a dream...or was it real?

"Yah!" HyunJoong waved his hand in front of you to call your attention.

"Oh...mian" You then smiled and looked out the window, hoping they wouldn’t ask you anything.

HyungJoon then shook you furiously and yelled, “We’re here!!”

“Um ok.” His enthusiasm crept you out a bit. You knew he was a cool guy and all, but still there were some times when you would ask yourself if they would ever mature. But then again, that was why they were so cool. It just felt like you were the mom and they were your little babies: HyunJoong the sweet, random baby; Youngsaengie, the moody one; Kyu Jong, the fun, cool kid; HyungJoon, the cheerful clown; and JungMin the carrot-head. What a crazy family you had then. And there was no turning back on them.

HyungJoon then held your hand and tugged you to the entrance. All the boys wore beanies and different colored shades to mask their identity from others. You frowned; it was still obvious in your opinion, they had failed.

JungMin left with HyunJoong. Kyu Jong left with Youngsaengie. And now you were left with HyungJoon. You still didn’t know him very well and today was going to be just the time for that.

“Let’s. Go. On. That.” He pointed to the red Ferris wheel. You had never really liked those kinds of rides, the ones that were meant for little kids. But with one look at the excitement on his face, you knew you had to go.

But after that, you were going to choose. And it was going to be a good ride.  

[-Meanwhile-]

HyunJoong & JungMin

“Yah. Stop eating your carrots and lets go on some rides already!!” HyunJoong was tired of waiting for JungMin to finish eating. If JungMin ate one more carrot, he was going to pick them all up and throw them away.

“Yah, we have a lot of time.”

“JungMin!”

“Araso, let’s go.” JungMin put the carrots away and got up. He was full anyway.

“Finally!” HyunJoong jumped up and pulled JungMin to the Ferris wheel.

Youngsaengie & Kyu Jong

“Youngsaengie…hello? YOUNGSAENGIE!!”

“Bwoh?” He looked up and awoke from a trance.

“Hello?! We are in an amusement park and we need to have some fun you know!”

“Oh yeah. Lets go…”

“THERE!” Kyu Jong pointed to the Ferris wheel with a grin. “We haven’t gone on of those since forever.”

Youngsaengie sighed and walked with Kyu Jong there. A lot of people were waiting in line for it and Youngsaengie was about to turn away and leave since he hated waiting in line, but he saw you. You were standing next to HyungJoon and the two of you were talking and laughing. He walked up to the both of you and said, “Sorry about getting here late guys but Kyu Jong here was taking too long in the bathroom.”

Kyu Jong protested, “What? I never even went to the bat-”

“Shut up and play along.” Youngsaengie mumbled to Kyu Jong.

You were surprised at seeing them, so surprised that the words that you had been thinking came out of your mouth. “What the hell are you guys doing here?”

Kyu Jong smiled nervously, “Ask him that!”

Youngsaengie elbowed him. “He wanted to come on this ride and I saw you so I came to say hello.”

“Oh…ok.” Shrugging, you turned to the side to see two familiar boys run up to you.

JungMin was chasing HyunJoong and the two were yelling playfully at each other. HyunJoong hid behind you to evade JungMin. He whirled you around, making you dizzy as he tried to use you to block JungMin. HyungJoon pushed him off and held on to you. “Guys you’re making her dizzy.”

“Whoops. My bad.”

You laughed. It was then your turn and when the short man with the white mustache that was a worker asked how many you were, you told him six. It was you, HyungJoon, Kyu Jong, Youngsaengie, HyunJoong, and JungMin. But the seats were for two people so you were paired up with HyungJoon since he was your partner. After you and HyungJoon sat down, it was silent. He looked at you for a few minutes and you did the same, but then the both of you turned to the windows beside you in embarrassment.

At seeing the others in the other seats bickering amongst each other, you smiled. These five guys were hilarious and just being with them had made you remember the one thing you had forgotten.

Love.

You weren’t in love with them, at least you were pretty sure you weren’t, but you did love them. Was there even a difference? Yes, you thought, it was a big difference.