The middle of January was relentless and unforgiving in its coldness. Frigid winds blew across the trees, the sounds of creaking branches a constant companion for the man sitting on a lone wooden bench on a small hilltop overlooking the heart of Seoul. It was picturesque in its beauty; trees bordered the towering skyscrapers in muted shades of green underneath the glistening white of snow, the millions of city lights somehow shadowed by the hundreds of miniscule lights up in the sky, a peaceful handshake of camaraderie between nature and man.

He felt like he was the only one in the world.

He had no one with him.

He remembered why he had no one with him. He remembered why he was sitting on a bench on a hilltop in the middle of winter at eleven in the evening. He remembered why he felt alone. Empty.

“Love till it hurts, Jiyong. Because when you reach your breaking point, that is when you realize you were never hurt—You were just trying to justify what you want to feel.”

The stars shined brightly as he looked up, “You know, noona, that doesn’t make any sense. How can I love when I’ve had enough? When we’ve both had enough?”

The past came back to him in a sequence of reminiscence, a movie picture of hurt and pain, happiness and contentment, betrayal and selfishness—being human in making mistakes and not being human enough to face them.

He saw her at her best.

And he saw her at her worst.

They say that the person who saw you at your worst and still believe in you is someone you’d like to have by your side for the rest of your life.

Maybe they were onto something.

Two years ago, he’d deny everything about noona. He was a stupid and impressionable kid before, always believing the things that come out of other people’s mouths. YG Sajangnim said he cannot date anyone from YG Entertainment. Security and conflict of interest were his reasons and he believed him. So he shut down all the rumors that he and Dara noona were dating, rumors that escalated further after their Hello stage. Youngbae said not to pursue any girl without setting his priorities. How can he take care of someone when he needed to be reminded that he’s human and he needs to eat every day? Youngbae was right, to an extent.

He cannot take care of himself well because he had someone doing that for him.

“Jiyong-ah, I brought you some food from that bakery store near Co-Ex that you love so much.”

“Don’t forget to sleep, Ji! You’re not Superman, and no, even wearing a costume won’t magically transform you into a Justice League member.”

“Ji? Bae said you have no car and now you’re stranded. Tell me where you are so I can come fetch you!”

She was his supporter and caretaker. His million-dollar nurse.

Maybe that was what pushed him over the edge.

Now he regretted everything he ever said.

“Noona.”

“Oh, Ji! What—what are you doing here?” She hastily pushed the tissues away, bloodshot eyes hidden behind her short curtain of curls as she sat up to a sitting position.

“Chaerin was worried so she called me.”

“What? No! Chae-cat was just being silly, I am right as rain, as my mother used to say—”

“Noona. Stop.”

She closed and her expression. Her face was blank as she waited for me to talk. From the years that he came to know the vitamin member of 2ne1, she was very easy to read when she’s happy or embarrassed. But nearly impossible to read when she’s hurt, angry, or heartbroken.

“Seunghyun hyung told me everything.”

Her expression was unreadable. was formed into a small smile but her eyes—Her eyes were like molten liquid, full of compassion and heartache. She was in pain after their break-up. He knew she invested so much in their relationship, but things went awry and before they knew it, they were calling it quits.

Soon enough, they called it quits, too.

She was the one for him, he knew that. Deep in his gut, much deeper than physical limitations, goes beyond what he can comprehend, because he loves the woman so much he could not explain. His mother, his dear mother, asked him why he did it, cheated on her, made her feel worthless after everything she’d done to keep the both of us afloat, to keep our hearts and minds staying grounded and sane.

He had no answer.

Because she was the only one who did it.

After they lost their way, there was never a “we” for them. Just a “her”.

Always “her”.

Was it still a mystery why “her” seemed such a powerful word when someone as beautiful and kind as the person he broke still had the will to smile and carry the burden of others with a silly grin?

Maybe it was only right that he stayed alone.

Even if it seemed unfair to be alone for one night while she endured three hundred nights alone.

Jiyong tried his best to mend everything. He truly did.

But maybe, his best was just not enough.

“—Will—will you take me back, Dara-yah? It’s just, I missed you. Please. Just…please.”

The call ended ominously.

No.

His “best” was not even what she wanted.

Because she had what she needed, waiting for her in a fancy restaurant with bouquets of dandelions and dozens of expensive flower charm bracelets, far more intricate than the small dandelion bracelet that he had in his pocket.

He never had the chance to give it to her, even after the two years they were together.

Sitting on the rickety bench, he contemplated on whether a call would ruin the fragile friendship they had from the fallout. Just a call between friends, he’d say to those who would believe him. But in his heart, he knew all too well the unimaginable pain of denying what he wants and needs most of all.

But…

“One last call, last call before I call it quits and set her free forever,” He argued with himself, feeling slightly silly for talking to the wind. “But she’s a strong woman, she won’t take me back. Dara’s smart enough not to give a second chance to someone like me, she’s…she’s better off without me—”

“But, I have to try. Maybe, maybe…”

“Maybe I’ll realize I miss you just as much as you miss me?”

The world stopped as he whirled around, tripping over nothing as he shakily stood up on wobbly knees.

“I—I—I thought you’re in Paris?”

She shrugged, her white coat complimenting stunningly against the white canvas of snow and the slight green of the grass hidden beneath. “Too cliché for me. Maybe I needed a new scenery.”

Then she took a step forward. Two. Three. Few more steps till she was just an arm length from me.

“Perhaps a new beginning?”

She smiled.

“Annyeong.”

There were a thousand words that he wanted to tell her, to express how he missed her smile, her laugh, her goofy jokes, her love for anything cute, pink, and ramyun.

But he didn’t need them now.

Only one would do.

He took three steps forward. The bracelet in his hand glinted beautifully under the moonlight as he softly locked the chain around her wrist.

He met soft, brown doe-eyes.

“Annyeong.”