"I'll go straight to the point." Cheng Xiao started, after taking a deep breath. "I didn't come here expecting you to forgive me. But I want you to hear what I have to say. If in the end you still choose not to, I will be fine with it and we'll part ways for good, because I know there will be nothing else I could have done. Is that okay with you?" 

Eunseo was still in shock with the fact that sitting in front of her was the woman she loved. The woman she had cried for so much the past week, the person she missed so much it felt like a part of herself was gone. 

She didn't think she would want to see her face again, let alone be the one to pursue her and come ask her for forgiveness. Barely able to speak, she could only nod at what Cheng Xiao had just said. 

Eunseo stared at her, heart pounding in anticipation of what she might have to say. But Cheng Xiao only fidgeted in her seat, her pupils twitching from side to side. 

"Honestly..." Cheng Xiao's shoulders relaxed and she sighed. "I wish I actually knew where to start and what to say. I didn't give this much thought. Or any thought at all. I just had to come here and do something because I couldn't live with knowing that you think all of those things you said about me." 

Cheng Xiao surveyed Eunseo's face for a reaction, but it was impossible when her face was still like that of a thousand year old statue. She bit her lip and looked down before continuing. 

"Maybe I should start by explaining why--" 

"Why you ran away." Eunseo cut her off. Cheng Xiao blinked a few times, one eyebrow raising. 

Eunseo was aware she was acting weird and about to mess up and ruin things for good with her beloved. She had another chance and she was this close to blowing it. It was time to start acting normal. Fast. 

"Yes." Cheng Xiao gulped, then chuckled rolled her eyes upward. "Why I... ran away." 

Without noticing, Eunseo leaned forward and closer to Cheng Xiao. She knew a big mistake she had made was accusing her without giving her a chance to explain her side. The fact that she was willing to do so on her own was more than she could have hoped for. This once, she was going to listen. 

"I suffer from anxiety since I remember. Which is ironic, since I don't remember much at all, so I can't think of something that may have caused it to begin with. When I have really bad crises, they mostly have no reason to happen... they just do. If I can't understand it myself, it's much harder for people around me to understand. People have a tendency to be scared of things they can't understand." Cheng Xiao captured Eunseo's wide-eyed gazed with the sheer honesty in her voice and expression. "After I had my crisis, things became so awkward between us and you looked so distant... whenever I looked at you, I started remembering faces. Faces of people who left me because they were scared of me. I saw in your eyes the look of a person who was scared of me. Someone who would leave me." 

Cheng Xiao looked calm at first, but she was starting to let her emotions show through her voice and her face. Eunseo could tell she had just as hard of a time as she did during their time apart. 

"I was so convinced of that, I was so sure I'd become a nuisance to you and that you were going to kick me out, I thought by leaving I was anticipating that and freeing you of a burden. I didn't even seek to find out what you were really feeling and I didn't care about how worried you would be, even with me leaving a note. Gosh, I didn't even care how worried and scared I was. I didn't think of anything at all, to be honest, I just... did. I regretted it as soon as I closed the door behind me."  

Eunseo's breath caught up in . She knew she had distanced herself from her because of her own insecurities. But hearing about Cheng Xiao's fears and worries made her reframe everything she thought of the situation. Cheng Xiao admitted she failed to consider what Eunseo was feeling, and the opposite was also true. It would have never crossed her mind that she made her feel as if she would abandon her or that she was scared of her. If only she'd known... 

"W-why didn't you ring the bell and come back right then, if you regretted it?" Eunseo managed to speak, her voice hoarse and cracking. 

"Pride? I don't know. I could tell leaving like that was stupid. If you didn't want me around in the first place, you wouldn't have even let me stay the night, I think. But I couldn't get over the small chance that I was just doing wishful thinking and that my first intuition was right. Maybe you had let me stay because you pitied me. So I thought it was about the time I started trying to live my life without depending on you, or anyone for the matter. That I started doing things for myself again and stopped seeing myself as sick, or weak, or fragile. I couldn't allow anyone to feel pity over me." 

It had only been a week since Eunseo had last seen Cheng Xiao, but it was clear how different of a posture she held now. She saw a strong young woman who had made incredible progress in the way she felt about herself and her life after the memory loss. She had definitely underestimated her, but seeing her hold up to herself like this only made her grow to like her even more. 

Eunseo, on the other hand, seemed to walk backwards. She was ashamed of herself for it, but she actually enjoyed the fact that Cheng Xiao depended on her. Was SeolA right? Would Cheng Xiao not want her around anymore if she didn't have to depend on her for something? It was possible, and in Eunseo's opinion, it would be justified, since she thought of herself as having no other redeeming qualities that would make her a respectable candidate for the person who could make Cheng Xiao happy. But even knowing that, she selfishly couldn't help but want to be that person. If she couldn't, then what would become of her? 

Cheng Xiao fidgeted in her seat, biting her lip and staring at Eunseo in anticipation. Eunseo noticed it, and she knew it was her cue to say something. But why, why on earth was she closing herself in again? Why was she incapable of speaking? She had so many things she wanted to say to her, but her lips didn’t budge. Why was it that the only time she was able to open her heart up for real to Cheng Xiao was when she was so angry and distraught with her leaving that she blurted out so many things she didn't mean to say? That was the only time when she should have really kept shut, for heaven's sake! She had to keep herself focused on not letting her go through that door with the wrong idea of her again. 

"I-I'm not... scared of you. I n-never..." Eunseo gasped loudly for air, earning a concerned look from Cheng Xiao. "I never... wanted you... to leave." 

Cheng Xiao beamed at her so innocently and genuinely it made Eunseo's heart skip a beat. How she missed seeing that gorgeous face of hers in a smile.  

"Thank you." Cheng Xiao flailed her hands in front of her own face. "I mean, not thank you. I guess I really wanted to hear that. Even though that basically confirms how big of a fool I was, right?" 

For the first time in over a week, Eunseo felt her cheekbones rise. She was... smiling? It was as if she had forgotten how to even do it. Cheng Xiao managed to lighten the air in the room and make her much more comfortable to speak. 

"You're not a fool. I know I distanced myself and that was really insensitive of me. I totally understand why you thought that way now. I'm truly, truly sorry about the way I acted." Eunseo grabbed her knees to her chest, her feet resting on the couch pillows, burying part of her face in them. 

"If you weren't scared and you didn't want me to leave, why did you become so distant, then?" 

"The same way you thought I wouldn't want you around anymore, I thought you would want to leave on your own after I failed so miserably at helping you through your crisis. I thought I finally got my chance to matter to you after you rejected me so many times, and I blew it. But I didn't expect you to leave like that, without even talking to me first." Eunseo sighed and looked the other way. "I felt betrayed, I guess. That's why I... went after you to tell you... those things." 

Cheng Xiao's posture straightened, her lips becoming a straight line.  

"Did you mean it? The things you said." 

Those words seemed to cut through Eunseo's throat, revoking her ability to speak once more. 

"I... don't really know. Like I said, I wasn't exactly happy about the situation and I for sure regret the way things turned out, but... I can't help but be insecure about what you really want from me and who you really are." 

Eunseo couldn't tell where such honesty had flowed from. She was someone who was used to closing on herself and not revealing her true feelings. She didn't think she was entitled to burdening someone like that. But somehow, with Cheng Xiao, it was different. She felt like, no matter what, she owed her full honesty and she could trust her with her innermost feelings.  

However, that belief started to waver when she looked back at the girl she loved and saw her lip quivering, her eyebrows drawing close together, her eyes starting to reflect more light. 

"How can you say that?" Cheng Xiao faced down, her voice cracking. Eunseo could see a tear fall down on her lap, and with it, her own world started to crumble. "Eunseo, I barely remember anything I did to you, much less why I did it. I don't know what kind of a person I was before. Honestly, I'm terrified I might someday find out. Believe me, it keeps me awake at night thinking about what I could have done without knowing, thinking I deserved to be attacked because of who I was and that there's a chance I don't even deserve to be alive." 

Eunseo watched with her chin dropped, unable to stop her own eyes from bursting into tears while listening to such a thing. Cheng Xiao wiped her tears with her sleeves, but it was in vain, as they only kept pouring. 

"I'm trying so hard to be the person I want to be and stop blaming myself for the person I know I'm not anymore." Her puffy, red eyes met Eunseo's. The latter felt like she might as well die if Cheng Xiao had thrown her such a grieving look. Her whole body trembled, her fists balled, resting on her lap. "What else do you want me to do? What else do I have to do to prove you I'm someone else now? What do I have to do for you to stop seeing me as a monster?" 

Cheng Xiao shot up from her seat, tossing one of the pillows to the ground. 

Eunseo jerked back in her seat, her sobbing intensifying, as the scene in front of her became too much for her to bear.  

"What in this world can I do for you not to hate me?" She yelled, her eyes bloodshot and her jaw clenched. Her body started convulsing more and more, to the point she looked like she would lose control of it. Her gaze shot down after she spat the words, both her hands reaching for her head and gripping her own hair on the sides. She gasped for air so forcefully it was as if she could stop breathing altogether. She crouched, and after that loud shrieks of pain and horror filled up the whole room, shooting through Eunseo's ears. 

This time, Eunseo was terrified. Terrified of what she had said and done, of the way she hurt Cheng Xiao and made her see herself that way, of the dreadful state she had driven her to. Above everything, she feared she had destroyed the good, lovable and kind person Cheng Xiao tried so hard to be, the person she wanted to learn to love healthily more than anything. Now, she would either lose her forever, or she would go back to being the person she knew but painfully longed for before the incident. 

But Eunseo knew better. It would only happen if she let herself be controlled by fear, and she was not about to let it be that way because this time, somehow, she knew exactly what to do. 

She shot off of her seat towards Cheng Xiao. She grabbed both her wrists, forcing her to let go of the grip on her hair and let her arms rest on her sides, then launched her own arms around the weeping girl, squeezing her with strength she had no idea where she had found.  

Cheng Xiao stopped screaming, and over the course of a few seconds, the shaking became less violent, and the sobbing less deep. 

After she was able to calm down slightly in Eunseo's embrace, to the latter's surprise, she shoved her away. 

"Let go." Cheng Xiao faced her feet, refusing to meet Eunseo's widened, taken aback eyes.  

Cheng Xiao started to make her way towards the door, which triggered Eunseo's instinct to speed past her and slam her palm on the door, holding it shut and blocking the girl's path with her body. 

"Don't you think I'm going to let you leave in that state." Eunseo asserted, her face all tensed up in both adrenaline from her sudden courage and fear that the one thing she was focused on preventing was about to happen. "You're not okay and I can't let you go out like that. Please listen to me, I beg you. I can explain. After I speak and after you feel better, then you can hate me and leave if you want, okay?" 

Cheng Xiao's face softened and she finally let her own wet eyes meet Eunseo's.  

"Why do you care? I thought you didn't know me." Cheng Xiao sneered, followed by a dry scoff.  

Eunseo frowned at Cheng Xiao's attitude, but she was more at ease with the fact she had decided to stay and listen after all. She was determined to fix the mess she had just made. With how distraught Cheng Xiao was at that moment, she would need to keep awareness of every single word she uttered.  

"That's not what I meant to say, Xiao. I know you've been through a lot lately, and I know that I've been making it all about me. I'm really sorry about that." Eunseo observed for a reaction, but the girl only looked away with her lips in a pout, not saying anything. "I didn't ask you how you felt back then. I shouldn't have even distanced myself and disregarded what you might be feeling when you had your crisis. I didn't let you speak when I went to your hotel room. I've done nothing but try to get to you and have you like me only to fail miserably at it every single time. I've made lots of mistakes. But just like you're trying to be a better person, so am I, I swear I am." 

Cheng Xiao slowly drifted her gaze back to Eunseo. She looked calmer as time went by. Eunseo felt like she was truly being heard that she was doing the right thing in letting her feelings flow for her to listen. Eunseo's eyes had filled up with tears as she delivered her emotional speech. 

"I've been miserable without you, and I couldn't even bring myself to be strong enough to seek you and tell you how sorry I am. When I saw you at the door, I felt like I got back a part of me that was missing this whole week. All of those things I said... those doubts are my own, they're about me and how insecure I am, not about you. I hate that part of me, and I hate that I let it affect what I think of you in any way. I just wish it would go away. I wish it would let me feel alive and like myself for once." 

Eunseo choked up on her sobs, overwhelmed with how easily her emotions flowed out of . This was the first time her heart took the wheel, blocking the censorship from her insecurities, allowing her true, honest feelings to come out. This was the only person in the world she could do that with. 

Cheng Xiao stood motionless, her lips apart and her eyes wide, a few tears unavoidably escaping them. Eunseo couldn't pick up the slightest hint on what she was thinking on feeling, so she took a risk to try to find out. Gently, with trembling hands, both her hands reached towards Cheng Xiao's face, resting on the sides of her head. With one hand, she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Cheng Xiao did not swat her off, even after a few seconds. 

"I don't know what I'm good for, and I don't know what I have to offer to you. But I promise you that I can try to be better. Nobody in this world will make more of an effort for you than I will. I don't know what you're feeling and I couldn't possibly tell, but I can show you the best side of me, now that you've seen the worse. I promise I'll become someone that's good for you." 

"Eunseo, you don't... have to try. You don't have to try to be someone else and you don't have to try to make me like you when I already do. And I like you the most when it shows that you're not trying." 

Cheng Xiao... liked her? Did she hear that right? Eunseo felt outside of her body. The few words she had just said touched an aspect of her she hadn't thought about. She was right – she had been trying to be someone else all this time, all of those months she worked so hard to be liked, only to learn that she never needed it, and all she really had to do was not do anything at all. 

"I don't know how much I like you, and I don't know what to call it. But I know how much I missed you, how being without you, I felt like I could spend my whole day smiling and I would still be missing something. Your face kept popping in my head all day long, and when it did and I thought you hated me, that you wouldn't want to see my face again, my gut twisted and I felt sick." Cheng Xiao paused, gasping for air between her sobs. "I just wish you could see me for the person I am now, and not for the person I don't remember being, someone I know for sure isn't me anymore. Tell me honestly. Can you love me for who I am now?" 

Eunseo lost the strength in her knees with those words and how Cheng Xiao's eyes, which reflected her deepest emotions, seemed to see right through hers. She didn't need to think of an answer. 

"You don't have to know what to call what you're feeling. I can show you, I promise. I'm not going to try to be someone else anymore. You're right, I don't need to and I can't. But I know how to be Son Eunseo. And I will learn how to be a better Son Eunseo for you, one who loves you unconditionally and will never judge you for anything I know or anything I will come to learn about your past. I love you, Cheng Xiao Xiao. Maybe someday I'll grow into someone you're not afraid to say you love too. If only you let me be by your side so you can see it for yourself. Will you?"  

Eunseo's thumbs, which rested on Cheng Xiao's temples, moved to wipe her tears. She felt jolts of electricity all throughout her body, so intense she wondered if Cheng Xiao could feel it through her hands. She thought they would make her body explode if Cheng Xiao didn't give her an answer anytime soon. After all this time of longing for her, of wishing she would notice her, and she would finally hear it from her.  

Except she didn't hear anything. After a few seconds, Cheng Xiao's hand travelled through Eunseo's forearm until it reached her hand, still rested on her face, gripping it. Her gorgeous, moistened eyes broke the piercing stare to take a glimpse at her lips, only to travel back up to the level of Eunseo's eyes. Now, her stare didn't feel cold, paralyzing, as it felt warm, longing, sincere, vulnerable.  

Eunseo had all the reasons to feel insecure this time, but she didn't. She knew, she felt exactly what to do. One baby step closer to her, then another, then another. There was no distance between their bodies now. Eunseo looked right into Cheng Xiao's eyes, her face full of confidence and determination, never breaking eye contact as she started to lean her head forward, as if asking for further permission on what she was about to do. Cheng Xiao's gaze dropped back to her lips, so Eunseo kept leaning forward, the electricity she still felt in every single muscle in her body speeding her heartbeat and her breathing. The closer she was to her loved one's face, the more the other's lids dropped, until her eyes closed. Then, Eunseo gave herself permission to close her own eyes and she finally closed the distance between their faces, tenderly pressing her lips against hers, as if taking care not to break her. Cheng Xiao tightened the grip on Eunseo's hand, then grabbed her other hand in order to pull her even closer, as she allowed her to feel her warm, soft, luscious lips moving against hers.  

With that kiss, Eunseo felt Cheng Xiao hand all of her soul in to her, as she handed her own soul back. Now that she had her, she would cherish her. She was going to honor her promise and better herself. She would be someone who is not judgmental, who loved herself as much as she loved her. She would not expect Cheng Xiao to fix her problems and magically bring happiness to her – instead, she would devote everything she had to making her happy, and by doing so, she would be happy as well. Then, someday, she would be someone Cheng Xiao could say she loved. 

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A/N: It's finally here -screams- Publishing this chapter makes me sort of nervous actually, it's a really important one and it feels like i laid a part of my soul in it. It ended up being so long, though. I sincerely hope you liked it and it lived up to what you would expect. Let's say next chapter is going to introduce a very popular and long-awaited character. Thank you for being patient and supporting this story! I'm so humbled by your support :)