Taemin is afraid.

He isnt exactly sure what it is he is afraid of and that makes his fear even worse. 

A prolonged stare, slight touches, audible laughters, unheard whispers, darkness, vastness, etc.

Its not exactly these things that make him afraid. What he's afraid of is what accomopanies these things.

A stare that might mean judgement or criticism. A touch that might entail desire and unwanted affection. Laughter that maybpossibly be directed to him with intent of mockery. Darkness that hides his deepest most hidden secrets. Vastness that seems eternal and never ending.

But what he was most afraid of was...

People.

But like all his other fears, it isnt exactly what he is afraid of but it is what comes with it.

People lie, people hurt, people tell truths, people love, and the list goes on.

Although he is afraid, Taemin understands that his fears shouldnt conquer his life. He tried his best not to be afraid, to shut his fears down, to be strong and brave. He decided to be these things but he cant. Therefore, he pretended.

He pretended to be in control and fearless. He pretended to be sociable yet unaffected. He measured the distance he should consider when interacting with people.

Not too close that it made him feel uncomfortable and not to distant that it made the other party feel offended. 

It took a few trial and errors but eventually he got the hang of it. He was afraid but on the surface he appeared calm and collected. Everything was going well until he got caught by Lee Jinki.

He never really paid attention to Lee Jinki. He was one of those extremely handsome guys that seem to have it all. His family was well off. His grades were superb and his body was well structured. He is all those things but not many people like him. From what Taemin heard, alot of them think Jinki is a little too weird for their liking. He likes old man jokes and doesnt care much about his surroundings. A "my pace" kinda guy that makes him hard to get along with.

He didnt care much for gossip so he let the information sit at the back of his mind until he is in need of them. If he ever crossed path with Lee Jinki such information would be useful in measuring the appropriate distance he should keeo between the two of them.

And eventually he did cross paths with Lee Jinki. The said guy became his seatmate and that's when all Taemin's problems will begin.

At first everything was going well. Jinki didnt seem as unlikeable as the rumours said. Taemin actually found his jokes quite funny but he tried not to laugh for fear of dropping his mask of cool and calm demeanor. 

Taemin decided the right distance between him and Jinki and tried to maintain it. Jinki's frequent stares made him nervous at times but he tried not to mind it. 

Although deep inside he worried about it. These curious stares will eventually turn into curious inquiries and that will be uncomfortable for Taemin. 

And he was right.

They were on their usual route home. their houses were quite near each other so  they often go home together.Taemin disliked this arrangemenr at first but he eventually got used to it and in a way he felt quite safer going home with someone. He atleast didnt have to fear getting into an accident if he had someone with him.

"What's wrong?" Jinki asked, distracting him from his negative thoughts.

it was an innocent and honest question without any hidden implication but it made Taemin nervous.

Taemin was acting like he al