final.
The Worst KindSolar had always thought Moon Byulyi was beautiful.
From the tiny scrunch of her nose whenever she laughed to the tips of her little toes, from her blonde locks that would flow all the way down to her waist to her slender fingertips that pushed up her rimmed circle glasses further up onto her cute little button nose.
Those single fleeting moments where she passed by Moonbyul in their university campus, glancing at the girl as they walked past each other. Once, she even bumped into a pole.
And that was where she officially met Moonbyul.
"Are you okay?"
No, she wasn't. She wasn't because it was the first time that Moonbyul had noticed her, and she had probably made the worst first impression she could ever make towards her crush. Solar stared at the girl. Long eyelashes that framed her gorgeous brown eyes, cheeks that were painted the same shade as cherry blossoms, and lips that could make any red rose jealous. She was the picture of perfection to Solar.
"Yeah, I am."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, t-thanks. What's your name?" Solar asked, even though she already knew.
"Moonbyul."
"I'm Solar."
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for a year.
Nothing much had changed, besides the fact that they were now in the same class, and Moonbyul's hair had become an even lighter shade of blonde. Not that Solar had mind, the girl looked amazing as always.
"You're Solar, right?"
"Yeah, and you're Moonbyul, right?"
"Yup. Mind if I sit here? Is anyone else sittin-"
"Oh, no! You can have it."
And as simple as that, Solar managed to finally befriend the amazing Moon Byulyi.
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for two years.
Never did she expect their slow friendship to blossom into something else.
But not the one she was hoping it would be.
A lot had changed from the past year, and they were now in their third year of university. Solar was pretty popular in their faculty, but the only one she had her eyes on was her best friend, Moonbyul.
The girl's hair was back to ash-blonde, and Solar was glad that sometimes, she would be the reason for the smile or laugh that would creep up onto Moonbyul's lips.
She expected Moonbyul to be reserved, and perhaps a little nerdy, but she was more than wrong.
Moonbyul was just the opposite. After their friendship had grown due to countless of days they had sat beside each other in class, she was now extremely outgoing, hilarious, and was simply a complete dork who would, at times, even annoy the crap out of Solar just for the fun of it.
That wasn't good for Solar, because she simply fell for her even more.
But under the tons of annoying glares and punches she would present to Moonbyul, laid a much more complicated emotion, a much more complex feeling.
Love.
She was in love with her.
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for three years.
They were now both 22 years old, and their friendship was still going extremely strong, to the point where Solar had to give Moonbyul one of her apartment keys because she was sleeping over too often.
She would come home, and be greeted with the sight of Moonbyul draped only in a simple towel at times, which completely shocked her the first time she saw her slender figure.
"Here. It's yours."
"What's this?"
"A key to my apartment. You practically live there now, anyway. So I thought I should be nice and make a key for you."
"You're the best!"
Solar was suddenly enveloped in a hug, and even after countless varieties of hugs from the blonde, that heart-fluttering feeling would still be present in her chest. She chuckled, and proceeded to slid her arms around her best friend, nuzzling into her neck.
Her hair smelt of fresh strawberries, just like it did two years ago.
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for four years.
They had finally graduated from university, and were taking a gap year together before looking for jobs.
Needless to say, Solar would constantly get jealous whenever someone tried to hit on Moonbyul, and whenever the girl asked why, she would simply sum it up as,
"You're my best friend, so obviously I need to approve the person who wants to go on a date with you."
Which made Moonbyul chuckle whenever she heard it.
"Fair enough," she would always reply.
Every single day, Solar thought she couldn't, but she did.
She fell deeper into the dark abyss, that vast chasm called love.
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for five years.
"Look! My first paycheck! Let's go eat something yummy!"
Moonbyul waved the slip of paper in her hand, jumping up and down on her bed, just like a little kid.
Never did Solar expect that they would be buying their own apartment, after they both landed jobs.
They scrimped and saved whatever they could during the previous year, and saved whatever they could of their own paychecks, too.
Moonbyul got the higher-paying job, but it came at the cost of her constantly having to do overtime at the office. She would come back home late every single day, and decline the dinner that Solar made after she came home from her own job.
She tried not to be upset, and tried to understand Moonbyul the most she could.
Because, after all, it wasn't Moonbyul's fault.
So she would cook up all of the girl's favourite dishes during the weekend when Moonbyul was home, and lay before her a feast fit for a king.
She would watch Moonbyul's eyes twinkle up in delight, which made her heart feel all fluffy and warm.
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for six years.
Moonbyul had done such an amazing job at her company, and thus was entitled to a raise, which Solar found out after she found a drenched Moonbyul who ran in the rain all the way back to their apartment just to tell her the good news.
"I'm getting a raise!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, they're promoting me because they opened up a new department!"
"That's great!"
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for seven years.
It still irked her that Moonbyul had started becoming more distant towards her, which was evident after she had been promoted.
Sometimes, she wished that Moonbyul hadn't done such a good job at her company, and not been promoted.
She knew it was selfish of her to think that way towards her best friend, but she simply couldn't help it.
"You know, I kind of miss us."
"What do you mean?"
"You don't tell me as much about your work or how your day was, anymore. Like you always used to do."
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Well, I've been planning to tell you something..."
"What is it?"
"There's this girl in my office..."
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for eight years.
It soon became evident that Moonbyul and the girl at her office — Jung Wheein — or something, were dating, and Solar hated every moment of it.
She hated whenever Moonbyul brought her over to their apartment, and would act all lovely dovey towards each other, like they were some sort of couple.
Well, they were.
It hurt.
Because Solar had to try so hard to be happy for Moonbyul.
"This is my girlfriend, Jung Wheein! Wheein, meet Solar, my best friend."
She hated Jung Wheein.
But she hated herself more.
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for nine years.
It still hurt.
It hurt more than when she fell down trying to learn the bicycle.
It hurt more than when she tripped down the stairs and broke her arm.
It hurt.
"I'm moving out of the apartment, Solar."
"Why?"
"I'm going to look at houses with Wheein this Sunday!"
"Oh, okay. Have fun!"
But she had to bite down on her lip and smile, because that was what a best friend was supposed to do.
Solar had to support her. She had to pretend to be happy, even though each smile that she gave Moonbyul made her heart crumble even more.
Because that was what a best friend was supposed to do.
Be happy for the other.
Right?
Solar has been in love with Moon Byulyi for ten years.
She didn't want to be in love with Moon Byulyi.
She didn't want to be her best friend.
But when Moonbyul smiled at her, she couldn't fathom living the past ten years without her.
She would remember the days where it was as if they were together with each other, and not as best friends.
But it wasn't like that to Moonbyul, and she knew.
She knew, because the smiles that the ash-blonde gave to her girlfriend was so much more different than what Moonbyul would give her.
The way Moonbyul spoke towards her, the way her arm would wrap around her so lovingly, even the way she stared at Jung Wheein.
It was completely and utterly different, almost as if she and Jung Wheein were worlds apart.
She didn't want to be in love with Moon Byulyi.
But she was, and she hated herself for it.
Her lips quivered as her slender fingers tore open the white, decorated envelope.
"Moon Byulyi
and
Jung Wheein
request the honor of your presence at their wedding."
Solar bit down on her bottom lip, and smiled, picking up and dialling into her phone.
"Hey, congratulations. I'm happy for you."
"Will you be coming?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, great! See you there, love you!"
"I love you, too."
It hurt.
Because the worst kind of sad is the kind where you have to try not to be.
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